Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1051117

Shown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by thinks2much on September 22, 2013, at 8:39:22

Hello,

I'm new on here so please excuse any mistakes I make. OK, I'm a 45 year old and been diagnosed with Panic Attacks, Anxiety, depression, bipolar2 (They also b4 stated I had PTSD, GAD) I've been on almost all SSRI's meds. But the meds I am on now and have been the most (about 4 years) is Zoloft 150mg 1x a day and Lamictal 150mg 1x day. I see my Psychiatrist about once every 2 months and Psychologist every month or every 2 weeks.

My question is I just feel like I'm getting nowhere and always in a stump. I also always feel like my body is urging for something, I don't know what. It's kind of like a craving. My libido is so far gone I can have a naked model stand right in front of me and feel no emotions. I don't know what to do where to turn, I have told my doctors this many times. Right now I'm trying to wean off these meds to see if it will help. Anyone have ANY suggestions please feel free to post.

Thank you.

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » thinks2much

Posted by alexandra_k on September 22, 2013, at 20:19:47

In reply to Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by thinks2much on September 22, 2013, at 8:40:07

well... this suggestion typically annoys people... but my suggestion is exercise.

i have a story...

i moved to Australia a while back... and after i'd been there about 6 months i went to see a doctor. i was fairly concerned. i had a fairly persistent hacking cough and my skin was horribly red and inflammed and itchy.

the doctor said i needed to drink more water and moisturize daily. and i was like 'yeah, right'. but the thing is... the doc turned out to be right. i'd moved from a more humid environment and my body was indeed freaking out about the dryness. the water and moisturiser fixed me right up. i feel i was lucky... many other doctors might have given me steroids or...

we don't actually know much... but exercise IS a drug in the sense of it releasing endorphins (body's natural opiates) and stuff. it affects serotonin levels... fairly relaxed exercise is good... a nice walk in the fresh air... but i guess what i'm really getting at is that if you really want a hit of the good stuff then you really need to push yourself. pick some kind of goal and work towards that. running a 5k or whatever.

it can pick you up when you are feeling down. and it can give you an outlet to vent some anger and frustration. i used to do drugs... exercise is my drug now (and coffee). i'm certainly not cured... but i find it helps me at any rate.

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » alexandra_k

Posted by Partlycloudy on September 22, 2013, at 20:23:30

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » thinks2much, posted by alexandra_k on September 22, 2013, at 20:19:47

Great advice. Start with the basics - the things that are under your control - and see if it helps.
So sensible.

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by sigismund on September 23, 2013, at 0:49:02

In reply to Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by thinks2much on September 22, 2013, at 8:39:22

> I also always feel like my body is urging for something, I don't know what. It's kind of like a craving. My libido is so far gone

Immediately interesting. It sounds like libido without the libido. Or is this some unstable feeling from the Zoloft?

Can you say more?

That is how normal f*ck*d up people get by without professional help....keeping active.

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by thinks2much on September 23, 2013, at 3:29:20

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by sigismund on September 23, 2013, at 0:49:02

I guess what I'm saying is I still don't feel normal. I feel strange and yes my sexual Libido is gone and I would like it back, it was a big part of my life once.

It seems like the meds and therapy are no longer helping me and I just need some advice where to turn. Exercise might be good but if you have lack of energy and motivation then what.

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » thinks2much

Posted by Phillipa on September 23, 2013, at 9:52:28

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by thinks2much on September 23, 2013, at 3:29:20

You have to push yourself although I was a jogger and can no longer jog I push myself to ride 6 miles a day on my bike. Afterwards I feel better emotionally. But due to chronic never to go away old age back problems I do it anyway and live with the pain. To never be active again is not acceptable to me. So I do it sometimes even in the rain. Phillipa

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by thinks2much on September 23, 2013, at 13:39:49

In reply to Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by thinks2much on September 22, 2013, at 8:39:22

Well thanks for the idea of exercising, but I guess I did not emphasize enough my Lack of motivation I have right now. That is what appears to be hindering my progress a lot. Then if it's not that, it's my lack of being able to concentrate. Well I guess life goes on with this, for me at least. Thanks for your suggestions.

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » thinks2much

Posted by Partlycloudy on September 23, 2013, at 17:40:42

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by thinks2much on September 23, 2013, at 13:39:49

I suffer from the same lethargy and lack of motivation. What might be instrumental in lessening my symptoms is simply beyond my ability now and has been in the past. All the well intentioned advice kind of is like picking at a scab for me. I know if I even just walked around the block I'd feel better for it, but god help me, I have trouble with self care (showering, dressing, grooming) as it is.

When I see the Nike ads saying, "just do it", I take it personally.

Is that kind of where you are?

PC

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by alexandra_k on September 23, 2013, at 18:45:15

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » thinks2much, posted by Partlycloudy on September 23, 2013, at 17:40:42

It is hard.

On one hand I don't suppose very many people just wake up one morning and feel like starting exercising when they have never really gotten into it before. I mean... Why would you want to? If it is something you had previously discovered you got enjoyment from you probably would have wanted to well before now.

On the other hand I know that suffering is for real and there most probably isn't a simple solution to that or you would have hit upon it well before now. I really don't mean to be giving you a 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' lecture. Really.

I've been reading some stuff about how some of our features of life today might have come about because they were adaptive in our evolutionary pasts (10,000-20,000 years ago, lets say) and the time lag has meant that our bodies haven't caught up. So... Most people crave fats and sugars. Once upon a time when we were living on the savannah and food was scarce... When winters were harsh and we needed to have put on enough to get through periods of famine... When we were engaged in demanding physical labour of hunting and foraging... Such cravings would have been adaptive. Not so now with our sedentary lifestyles and with cheap corn syrup and transfats readily available.

(What was their incidence of mental illness? Hard to say.)

I'm not entirely sure... I wonder sometimes if it is more that we don't know what our body is trying to tell us. I mean... I often crave potato chips. Fairly sure that that is what I'm craving. But I've come to learn... Vegemite will reduce the craving. So, really, it was salt that it wanted, and I misheard or misunderstood. Or similarly when I think I want chocolate (the delicious kind that is mostly sugar) and I have cocoa (80+ cocoa solids) and that deals to the craving and I didn't need to make a pig of myself to do it...

It sounds like your body is trying to tell you something. With the disquiet. That is very very real.

What is it that it is wanting???

I wonder...

Sometimes I think we get stuck in cycles. You want to do whatever it is that you are used to doing. Or... I sure as hell do. If I've been eating a lot of junk food then when I get hungry I crave particular kinds of junk food that have found their way into my repertoire. When I manage to get into healthy eating patterns (which is really hard in the transitional period) then I find myself starting to crave healthy options. A huge part of life is about comfort, I think. And comfort comes in familiarity. Having things that we do that help us feel good about ourself. Reliably. So we can do them when we need to feel good.

How about other things... Something that perhaps you have discovered enjoyment of that you could attempt to rediscover? Music? Art? I know it is hard when you don't feel like doing anything... On the one hand... That can indeed be a very real and horrible place to be. On the other hand... Maybe your body is trying to tell you something (something has go to change). Only you can figure out... Whatever it might be.

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » thinks2much

Posted by Dinah on September 23, 2013, at 19:07:39

In reply to Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by thinks2much on September 22, 2013, at 8:39:22

Has your reduction in medications had any effect? What you say resonates, and I vaguely remember it from my period on Luvox.

I don't think it's necessary to start with exercise. Is there anything at all that brings you pleasure? Music? A hobby? A bubblebath? Try to start small and just find interest or pleasure in *something*, no matter how small, every day. My now deceased Sheltie helped me move past the flatness that I'd experienced for a very long time. She had such a talent for joy, and I think it was contagious. Is there anything that might rub a bit of joy off on you?

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by sigismund on September 23, 2013, at 19:27:51

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » thinks2much, posted by Dinah on September 23, 2013, at 19:07:39

Anything that takes you out of yourself is good. And the problem is to find it.

Sometimes I read and concentrate and am somewhere else for a bit, and it is tremendous when that happens albeit rarely.

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by thinks2much on September 23, 2013, at 20:20:03

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by sigismund on September 23, 2013, at 19:27:51

So true about the lethargy, I feel as well. The thing is I have been this way so long that even the slightest amount of exercise or house work gets me winded. I mean I'm a little overweight but not obese. I need to lose 25-30lbs to be at my right range.

I eat a bad diet not by choice it's just so hard to find ANY food that I can prepare or afford on a regular basis.

I mean how can anyone buy fresh fruit and veggies without them getting spoil? I'm not in a position where I can go out everyday for some fresh fruit or veggies.

So most will always get spoiled.

To the comment about maybe it's me weaning off my meds, I'm sure that's adding on to my symptoms, but the reason I am weaning off is because of the feeling like it's not working anymore and the lack of libido I feel.

I take so many meds and that is another major factor that might be causing me to be like this.

List of my meds.

Lamictal

Uloric (Gout)

Omeprazole

Zoloft

Lovastatin (High Cholesterol) Still have it.

B-12 (Deficiency) Last labs showed normal

Vitamin D (Deficiency) Last Labs showed normal

Lavaza (Strong Fish Oil) Still have High Cholesterol

Testosterone injections (To see if it will help...No luck so far) my Testosterone is not out of range but a little on the low side.

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » thinks2much

Posted by Phillipa on September 23, 2013, at 20:52:49

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by thinks2much on September 23, 2013, at 20:20:03

You can start with a walk down the sidewalk and increase from there. Was a time I didn't exercise but I was forced to as wanted to teach Aerobic Dance and in order to I had to run 1.25 miles in less than a 12minute mile. I balked didn't want to but I did it. And found I loved it. My regret is that can no longer run. As felt the best in my life, didn't take meds, and most importantly was happy. After felt a sense of accomplishment and pride. And could then sit and read a good book. I recently read something that said that in order to be called depressed one basically could not get out of bed. Granted never been like this. But if you also have medical conditions please try? Phillipa

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by alexandra_k on September 23, 2013, at 22:14:39

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by thinks2much on September 23, 2013, at 20:20:03

That winded feeling goes away with practice. It was what limited me to start with, too. In my case... I had a 30 a day over about 15 years cigarette habit to deal to, as well. When I just started out I aimed to move my legs on the stationary bike for 10 minutes. Not at a particular resistance or anything, just to keep my legs moving round. It was honestly up in the air whether I would be capable of doing that or not. Winded, yup.

But if you do it... Then you get to go 'I did it - yeah!' Then tomorrow you can try for 12 minutes. And you see that you did it. Yes, it was hard (it wouldn't actually be terribly worthwhile if it was easy) You CAN do it. Then the next day you can try for 15 minutes. Then when you get to 20 minutes you can try for resistence 1... Then gradually, over time... You get to the point of beating your old time biking for 20 minutes, or 30 minutes or for a 5k or whatever it is that you want to do...

I don't know. I just managed to find an internal motivation to do this. Got addicted to doing better than I'd done. The place I started out at was such an unfit place (winded walking up a set of stairs, yup) that that meant I made such FAST progress when I started working on it. That progress was totally addictive for me. I found I was willing to push myself (gradually over time) far far harder than I ever thought I possibly could. That I was able to endure far far greater pain than I ever thought I could - and actually come to learn to crave the endorphin hit that was my reward. It is easy once it is a habit. Making it a habit is one of the hardest things in the world, though, I hear ya.

It doesn't feel particularly good when you are doing it especially to start with, truth be told. Or... It is an acquired taste. The endorphin hit comes after. When you collapse with exhaustion in a crumpled heap. That is the part that feels great. But you have to do the stuff that gives you pain in order to earn the painkillers - you see? The winded feeling does get in the way of that, a bit, but the winded feeling can be trained away. Then you get to know all about lactate / hydrogen ions. Fun and games, I say.

Nutrition is hard. I have a lot of empathy for that one... I'm currently trying to sort out my own situation with that. Can you keep a log of how much money you spend on food? That would help you be able to figure out how much you have to play with... I find that when I eat junk food I tend to think it is the cheapest option - but then I see that actually, it starts to add up. Especially if I buy lunch out.

I've found that while meat surely does seem expensive... If I make a big pot of stew (or similar) and rice then I can put it into a bunch of different containers in the fridge / freezer. So... It looks like a couple kilo's of meat is really expensive... But if you can cook it up with a bunch of veges and then bulk it out some with rice so you get 8 or so meals out of it... Then it is a cheap (and healthy) way to eat. And you can develop a taste for it.

I think of fruit in terms of 'weekly requirements' rather than daily. As you say, fresh fruit typically needs to get eaten within a few days. Lettuce, too. Then move to frozen / canned stuff during the later half of the week. Carrots keep. Celery. Apples do if you get them crisp and keep them in the fridge... Planning...

I started a thread over on social about food.. I've been thinking about getting a slow cooker - but actually the pot on the stove has been serving me quite well. My last stew was f*ck*ng delicious. I can't wait to make it again.

I think nutrition and exercise are both massively under-rated when it comes to their impact on our energy levels / lethargy / that horrible gnawing feeling we can get about life, sometimes. there is nothing like a set of heavy squats to kick the existential angst away, i've found. i might not be able to fix the world, but i f*ck*ng well will do another pull up.

Sometimes... And this is something that I'm currently working on... What we *feel like* doing... Is actually not what it is that we need. Sometimes what it is that we need, is not something that we *feel like* doing. Sometimes your body knows what it is talking about (sometimes it is good to take some time out from the world and pull those covers over ones head). Othertimes, your body gets confused (because habits are unhealthy). It is hard... I certainly don't have it figured out...

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » thinks2much

Posted by Poet on September 24, 2013, at 14:49:49

In reply to Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by thinks2much on September 22, 2013, at 8:39:22

Hi Thinks2much,

I have to force myself to swim three times a week: swimming/deep water aerobics are the only activities that I in better times liked to do.

Are there any supermarkets near you that have a salad bar? That's a way to get fresh fruit and veggies that won't go to spoil. Otherwise apples and oranges keep for a long time.

I dragged myself off the couch at 1 p.m. today and took a shower, and I have promised I will do the dishes. For me it's the little things that count.

Poet

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by gadchik on September 24, 2013, at 18:01:09

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to » thinks2much, posted by Poet on September 24, 2013, at 14:49:49

My first glimmer of happiness after 9 months of a hellish breakdown, came during a walk. That saved me. Just a simple walk. I will never forget that moment. Movement activates your brain, I think. I felt weak and slow, but kept at it. I now hike everyday for miles and miles. It really does help. Better than any pill.

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 23:45:37

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by alexandra_k on September 23, 2013, at 22:14:39

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iidVf_1CshA

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by alexandra_k on September 25, 2013, at 0:10:35

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 23:45:37

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lJEVNXKn5Y

what is funny is how deeply serious they are. because... they are just remembering how to play. remember that?

 

Re: Don't know where I'm headed to

Posted by alexandra_k on September 25, 2013, at 0:24:56

In reply to Re: Don't know where I'm headed to, posted by alexandra_k on September 25, 2013, at 0:10:35

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrB1C8P1-O4

damn, he is really good. that must have taken a lot of practice.


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