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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Omidak on September 15, 2013, at 12:38:20
Hi, sorry for bad language i'm sort of german. sort of. I'm new here. One of those who won't get a proper diagnosis no matter what they do and try to self diagnose. currently I'm diagnosed schizophrenic/schizoaffective (supposedly)
So recently, as smart as I am (not particularly smart obviously) I noticed that I'm extremely reluctant to do ANYTHING useful. It's not laziness, it's not demotivation. It's extreme aversion against anything that I believe is good for me (like goig to college, like learning the guitar. like going out, getting to know new people.) the more my head sais something i could do is good for me, the bigger the aversion (goes with stuff people tell me to do). I read a book (somehow i found it on the web. I didnt even try to download it but it was just there) listed the different types of Avoidant Personalities and i dont fit any of them.
Then I read about Negativism schizophrenics with catatonia and babies have and they basically do the opposite of what they are told to do. I read somewhere else that the rebelious behaviour of teenagers is somewhat similar.
So, my question is, is it possible to have a mild form of the Negativism seen in Catatonic Stupor and always do the opposite of what you wanna do? or not to do what you/ others want you to do ACTIVELY and WILLFULLY? I bet what i have is NOT negative symptoms. I refuse to do stuff Actively, and with very strong will. only if i could reverse the direction of this "will".
So basically is it possible to have (mild form of catatonic) negativism? and what could be the reason? or do I just have avoidant personality disorder unrelated to the schizophrenia?
cheers
Omid
Posted by sigismund on September 15, 2013, at 16:46:35
In reply to mild form of Negativism like that of Schizophreni?, posted by Omidak on September 15, 2013, at 12:38:20
Yes, it is possible.
My T once described it as 'passive angry negativism'.
So OK, you resist these worthy and worthwhile activities part of you wants you to do. I understand this. I (used to) have an aversion to any form of touch, which includes any contact with reality. Yesterday I managed to do some hours of gardening with machines and stuff. I needed to chew some coca because I get into some kind of disturbed state just thinking about it. That is when I start reading, just to forget about it, how impossible it is, how it is not even worth starting, to say nothing of how it will fail and how it is misguided. With a large mouthful of coca leaves I manage to avoid that and just start, and if I have been doing this for a while, I am cheered to see evidence of previous activity which makes what needs to be done in the future more obvious. I would like to be able to start each day with even 2.5mg Dexedrine. Otherwise I can avoid whole slabs of life just reading history which, oddly, I find calming, perhaps because of the feeling of being taken away to another world.
Posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2013, at 1:26:07
In reply to mild form of Negativism like that of Schizophreni?, posted by Omidak on September 15, 2013, at 12:38:20
is it maybe a form of self stabotage? i wonder if i have that, sometimes. sometimes i think i do get this kind of apathy or loss of motivation, too. perhaps even a laziness... but i suspect in my own case it is all tied up in the self stabotage.
i think it is easy to do what one has always done and really very hard to do something different. something new that isn't a habit yet. developing a routines with good things is hard. if you aren't used to doing those good things.
for me... often it is about my not feeling worthy. worth anything. for much of my life i just wanted to curl up and die. part of me thought it would happen if only i could stay there long enough and will it strongly enough. but things always got in the way... bathroom, most notably.
i don't know.
there is oppositional defiance in conduct disorder but i suspect that is something different again.
Posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2013, at 1:29:26
In reply to Re: mild form of Negativism like that of Schizophreni? » Omidak, posted by sigismund on September 15, 2013, at 16:46:35
that is funny that you describe your reading of history as life avoidance. i always though that it was a worthwhile thing to be doing. i mean, of all the life avoidant things one could be doing. i manage to waste a considerable number of hours everyday (still!) trying to will myself out of existence or making the same old dumb mistakes playing civilisation. oddly enough when i play that i often think of you... reading your history books. and i wish i did more worthwhile things with my leisure time. like... reading history.
Posted by sigismund on September 16, 2013, at 15:13:36
In reply to mild form of Negativism like that of Schizophreni?, posted by Omidak on September 15, 2013, at 12:38:20
>I refuse to do stuff Actively, and with very strong will. only if i could reverse the direction of this "will".
I was reading the other day 'Man can do what he wills, but he cannot will what he wills'. From Schopenhauer?
Posted by sigismund on September 16, 2013, at 15:18:02
In reply to Re: mild form of Negativism like that of Schizophreni?, posted by alexandra_k on September 16, 2013, at 1:29:26
I certainly read them much better when I have other things I should be doing.
Australian politics being what it is these days I have plenty of time in the evenings. One on Rudolf 11 at the moment, Kepler, Prague.
Posted by sigismund on September 16, 2013, at 17:01:04
In reply to mild form of Negativism like that of Schizophreni?, posted by Omidak on September 15, 2013, at 12:38:20
What do you think of this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bKW7JkHKm
David Byrne seemed to have an intuitive understanding of this.
Though that is more like the autistic kid trying to hypnotise himself into a state where there is neither subject nor object.
It's a tight little system you refer to.
Kids who have been brought up where the communication is coded, where the truth is not spoken out loud.........
Posted by Poet on September 16, 2013, at 18:30:25
In reply to mild form of Negativism like that of Schizophreni?, posted by Omidak on September 15, 2013, at 12:38:20
Due to my not talking, posture and generally glaring at the pdoc, I was misdiagnosed as borderline personality disorder. I found that out after I went to a new doctor, so I get trying to diagnose yourself.
I don't know much about Negativism, despite being a very negative person. I think if you compare the traits of someone with it and they pretty well match your traits, you might be on to something.
Welcome to Babble.
Poet
Posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2013, at 23:35:02
In reply to Re: mild form of Negativism like that of Schizophreni?, posted by sigismund on September 16, 2013, at 17:01:04
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bKW7JkHKmit is telling me the video doesn't exist.
Posted by sigismund on September 21, 2013, at 22:20:20
In reply to Re: mild form of Negativism like that of Schizophreni? » sigismund, posted by alexandra_k on September 20, 2013, at 23:35:02
That's right. I don't know what went wrong. Let's see if this works. One of my favourite songs.
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