Shown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by davey91 on May 5, 2012, at 6:14:41
Hello guys. I'm 20yo guy, medic student, live in the college dorm but I'm over my parents house for the month. My mum has recently found out I'm drinking. She got paranoid and started saying she will proper stalk me from now I on because that's her mum's job. Then she found I'm bisexual ( I'm really masculine though). I told her I'm a grown up and all that but she said she doesn't care. She basically suffocates me in every aspect. Not letting me go out,telling me no friends are good, when i go out with friends she doesn't know she says I'm going out with men and hooking up with them. She keeps calling me all the time and expecting me to call and msg her non stop. She proper stalks me. I don't know what to do as she said she won't stop it until she dies. My aunt is always saying nice things about my cousins to my mum (unlike my mum does). So she now thinks my cousin is the best son in the world and I should be like him. Now I'm carrying this heavy weight on my shoulder to try to impress my parents and show them I'm better. but the thing is that my mum keeps finding out things about me which she believes is wrong ( ex homosexuality) and she keeps calling me immature. She won't leave me alone so I can grow up. What should I tell her ? she won't stop. I've already considered suicide as a way out as my parents and sister won't listen to me. I'm really sad. Please guys help me out. Thanks.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on May 5, 2012, at 21:07:07
In reply to Parents won't leave me alone even though I'm 21., posted by davey91 on May 5, 2012, at 6:14:41
It's a good thing you live in a dorm.... Most of the time, right?
Posted by Dinah on May 7, 2012, at 9:04:21
In reply to Parents won't leave me alone even though I'm 21., posted by davey91 on May 5, 2012, at 6:14:41
Sleepygirl is right. At least you usually don't have to live with your mom.
How much power do you have? The ability to draw boundaries depends a lot on that. For example, you could change your cell phone number, but that likely wouldn't work if your parents are paying for it. Do they pay for your college? Are you still dependent on them?
If so, then eventually you won't be. This will pass and you will be able to be independent once you graduate and get a job.
Either way, perhaps there are some ways to draw healthy boundaries. My parents understood that some topics would result in my politely hanging up or leaving. I followed through, but I didn't do it in an angry manner. More along the lines of "I'm sorry, but I am afraid I'm going to have to hang up if you keep mentioning.... It is really upsetting to me." No anger, no arguing. The odd thing was that with this in place, the remainder of our conversations were far more pleasant. I was no longer afraid to talk with them, because I realized I wasn't helpless.
This worked with my family, and it might not work with yours. I don't know the situation and I don't know your family.
This is the end of the thread.
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