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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TherapyGirl on April 11, 2012, at 19:51:55
It's been a while and I'm sorry about that. I haven't been in therapy since firing T2 and that's been fine.
I am currently visiting the city my former therapist of 25 years moved to after retiring. We have had plans for weeks to have dinner together tomorrow night. This afternoon I called her and very awkwardly told her that I wanted to drive by her house. Not for any creepy reason, but so that I have a context for where she is. It's hard to explain and I have not been in therapy with her for over 2 years at this point. But guess what? She got it right off the bat, laughed warmly, said she totally understood and then suggested that we meet at her house tomorrow night before going out to dinner.
I cried when I hung up with her because I miss her and I miss someone knowing and understanding me that well.
Posted by Dinah on April 12, 2012, at 23:19:20
In reply to Going to T's House tomorrow, posted by TherapyGirl on April 11, 2012, at 19:51:55
I love how you two have worked out something that allows you to keep a relationship.
I can't wait to hear how it goes.
I know what you mean about needing to be able to place her in your mind. Once my therapist was going away for a seminar at a bad time for me. I asked where he'd be going and he told me I was trying to distract him from my feelings about his leaving. I explained that I was doing no such thing. I needed to be able to place him in space and time, in order to feel like he didn't just disappear.
Posted by TherapyGirl on April 13, 2012, at 19:23:12
In reply to How wonderful!, posted by Dinah on April 12, 2012, at 23:19:20
Thanks, Dinah. I suspected you would get it. It went great. I met her at her house and I can't tell you how much better I feel now that I know where to picture her in the universe.
She is the same consistent person she's always been. Actually better now that she's retired. We had a wonderful 3-hour dinner. She showed me pictures of and talked about her granddaughter and her kids, I caught her up on all kinds of things. We are both making an effort to even out the relationship. For so long I couldn't and didn't ask much about her personal life, so I try to be very intentional about it now. It's getting easier.
I also got two hugs. My T gives the best hugs. I still miss her terribly, but this is the first post-retirement visit we've had when I wasn't sad when I left, but rather happy that I got to see her.
Posted by Dinah on April 16, 2012, at 19:15:04
In reply to Re: How wonderful! » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on April 13, 2012, at 19:23:12
That sounds wonderful, Therapygirl. I really admire how well you're handling this. I think I'd have messed it up by wanting more than my therapist was willing to give, or by wanting to walk away entirely to avoid pain. I can't express how much I admire you.
Do you find you have the same good attitude towards other relationships in your life? I think I tend to withdraw completely whenever I find the possibility of pain.
Dogs are just right for me, I fear.
Posted by Twinleaf on April 17, 2012, at 6:11:51
In reply to Re: How wonderful! » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on April 13, 2012, at 19:23:12
I am also very admiring of how you are managing this transition. When I try to imagine something similar with my therapist, I have to realize that it just wouldn't happen. I think he would always be too aware of boundaries. I don't think he would ever want me to know-as much about him as he knows about me. He is a wonderful therapist, but I guess he will always be just that to me..
It sounds as though you are both becoming so comfortable with each other as friends. It really is very rare and wonderful!
Posted by annierose on April 17, 2012, at 7:53:43
In reply to Re: How wonderful!, posted by Twinleaf on April 17, 2012, at 6:11:51
i was happy to read this tg! you are so lucky to have navigated the waters to get to this point ... something you probably could never have imagined the last few years of working with her. i am happy she opened her heart to you - truly magic.
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