Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1014482

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anyone have success managing social anxiety?

Posted by sleepygirl2 on March 29, 2012, at 21:57:35

and if so, how??

I'd love to hear anything anyone wants to share!

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? sleepygirl2

Posted by Dinah on March 29, 2012, at 23:51:00

In reply to anyone have success managing social anxiety?, posted by sleepygirl2 on March 29, 2012, at 21:57:35

Manifesting itself how?

I think I have better luck with some aspects than others. My husband says that if he can actually get me to go somewhere I seem more comfortable than he does. Which isn't, of course, true. And is completely untrue in some situations. The bigger the group the worse I do. I never feel really comfortable and I don't think I ever really have fun. But in smaller groups I can fake it better.

Do you need help getting yourself to enter social situations? Managing your anxiety once you're there? What circumstances cause the most problems? The least?

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?

Posted by Dinah on March 29, 2012, at 23:53:27

In reply to anyone have success managing social anxiety?, posted by sleepygirl2 on March 29, 2012, at 21:57:35

I know it may seem excessive, but I really do do best if I break things down into the smallest possible component and consider it from that angle.

Not that it always helps. In some areas I am hopeless.

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? Dinah

Posted by Phillipa on March 30, 2012, at 10:24:28

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?, posted by Dinah on March 29, 2012, at 23:53:27

Two things as I mostly refuse to go to outside activities other than shopping with him. If I feel in control and can just walk away when the stress finds me itching my first sign it's too much, also being outside offers the feeling of escape to me. I must know I can leave at any time. Hence the bike riding for social interractions. But if I could still drink and taste beer or wine I'd be fine. Phillipa

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?

Posted by sigismund on March 30, 2012, at 17:59:18

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? Dinah, posted by Phillipa on March 30, 2012, at 10:24:28

Absolutely not.

Anything that works is a drug of abuse and in the thinking about it department it is too ingrained in me to do much about.

I most hate social events.

Occasions that have a focus other than having fun are much better.

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?

Posted by sigismund on March 30, 2012, at 18:01:29

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? Dinah, posted by Phillipa on March 30, 2012, at 10:24:28

I have bought lots of clothes I don't like or don't suit me just to get out of the shop.

Once it was a really expensive jacket.

I hate shopping in particular.

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?

Posted by sigismund on March 30, 2012, at 18:09:23

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?, posted by sigismund on March 30, 2012, at 18:01:29

I used to have this thing that went like this.....

When I was listening to whoever they would go in and out of focus and I would start to hear their voice only as sound and I would sort of go soft and squishy.

This is not a useful thing to happen when trying to talk with one's accountant.

Once I brought back Dexamyl (5mg Dex, 30mg amytal) from Nepal and with that how wonderful it was with the accountant to not have that wooziness become an obvious problem.

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?

Posted by sigismund on March 30, 2012, at 18:15:08

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? sleepygirl2, posted by Dinah on March 29, 2012, at 23:51:00

The only way I can deal with it, to give a voice to my feelings, is to become socially disruptive, by asking, for example 'Do you think I will be able to find someone here who can give me permission to leave?'

I would feel like I was underwater (everything going wavy) and given half a chance would drink myself insensate. Frightening really.

That is enough out of me anyway.

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? sigismund

Posted by Phillipa on March 30, 2012, at 20:05:16

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?, posted by sigismund on March 30, 2012, at 18:15:08

Sigi you are highly intellectual for real. PJ

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? Dinah

Posted by sleepygirl2 on March 30, 2012, at 21:51:57

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? sleepygirl2, posted by Dinah on March 29, 2012, at 23:51:00

It depends I guess.
I avoid crowded, loud places for the most part. Who doesn't right? Unless you like bar/club hopping or times square on new year's eve
It's more about feeling like people are judging me, talking about me.
I know I'm not everyone's top headline or anything, but I often don't feel like I fit in, like maybe I am other people's joke or something. That's in small groups I guess. I do imagine what people on the street are thinking about me too. It's ridiculous.
I can feel pretty disabled by it.
It's hard to be casual and spontaneous when I feel on edge, and like I'm being evaluated/criticized.
I guess it happens a lot in work environments.

I can do ok with one or two people I know pretty well, feel accepted by.
Parties?? Well we can just forget about those. There's only so much idle chatter, pretending to look comfortable, etc., that I can manage. I don't have many party opportunities, and that's ok.

I do better with one person at a time.

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? sigismund

Posted by sleepygirl2 on March 30, 2012, at 21:57:17

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?, posted by sigismund on March 30, 2012, at 17:59:18

Good point sig.
I do like occasions without a focus on having fun.
Like maybe... a conference, a class, a small musical performance?? Something like that?

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? sleepygirl2

Posted by sigismund on March 31, 2012, at 1:52:15

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? sigismund, posted by sleepygirl2 on March 30, 2012, at 21:57:17

> a small musical performance?

You know the Spot books?

'Why are you hiding Spot?'
'I can't sing.'

I like Pilates, but I tend to behave badly and show off.

Last time someone was talking about acid causing foods.
This that and drugs.
'Drugs?' I piped up. 'Which drugs?'
'All drugs?'
'Narcotics'
'I can't get any.'

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? Phillipa

Posted by sigismund on March 31, 2012, at 1:54:25

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? sigismund, posted by Phillipa on March 30, 2012, at 20:05:16

That sounds like a reasonable excuse.

Actually it is not that bad for me now. That is as bad as it got. I avoid things more. I have been practising not answering the phone.

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? sleepygirl2

Posted by sigismund on March 31, 2012, at 14:11:40

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? Dinah, posted by sleepygirl2 on March 30, 2012, at 21:51:57

>Parties?? Well we can just forget about those. There's only so much idle chatter, pretending to look comfortable, etc., that I can manage.

Hats off to you, SG :)

To be comfortable at parties I would need an Elvis quality treatment plan.

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?

Posted by sigismund on March 31, 2012, at 14:18:52

In reply to Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety? Phillipa, posted by sigismund on March 31, 2012, at 1:54:25

There was an occasion a lifetime ago when we were all sitting around a table having taken acid and smoking dope. Someone might start with 'Are we sitting comfortably?' or 'No need to call for an ambulance, no need at all.' And we did that all night until the end. We were quite helpless with laughter, always referring to the edge of our anxiety. Sometimes it was (of course) painful. At the end I remember someone said as we parted 'The least we can do is wave to each other'. At least that was interesting. It is not a good combination to be both anxious and bored, as I so often am.

 

Re: anyone have success managing social anxiety?

Posted by Angela2 on May 3, 2012, at 18:04:19

In reply to anyone have success managing social anxiety?, posted by sleepygirl2 on March 29, 2012, at 21:57:35

Hi Sleepygirl2, I have social anxiety, and I deal with it in many ways: exposing myself to social situations, not exposing myself, being gentle and compassionate with myself, Noticing my thoughts in these situations - just being aware of them (I can be pretty critical of myself), what else,...I wait tables. It's a program, but the people I wait on are the general public, and a lot of them don't know that it's a program (and a very supportive environment). I listen to my intuition. That's a really important one. For instance, I know what situations I don't need to do, and can totally blow off, and I know what situations might be good for me. Therapy (having someone listen to you and validate your feelings is awesome). Medication, although, that helps more with my depression. Eating Healthy, it's amazing how eating the right foods can make feel feel better. And that is how I manage my social anxiety. I could probably do better with the risk taking sometimes. I think I like to stay in my own little bubble. But that gets boring and lonely.


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