Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1013057

Shown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Help me cope..

Posted by yellowbird01 on March 14, 2012, at 16:36:50

I'm feeling bad.

My relationship with my T is totally falling apart.

I'm feeling unsafe. Not an imminent suicide risk or anything, so no one worry about that... but unsafe. I havent engaged in SI in YEARS until yesterday and I'm having trouble resisting again. I just feel CRAZY. I dont even know how to describe it. Maybe a little bit dissociated? But only a little, not enough to take any edge of the hurt off. Just.. crazy meaning my judgement is wacky, my thoughts arent right, I cant get my brain under control. I'm not eating well and the minor weight loss associated with that is triggering me (very old, long ago recovered) eating disorder voice in my head.

Today I took a walk at the park and then went to the pet store and played with a puppy for awhile. Both of those things helped, but basically only while I was doing them. I also showered today and went to the grocery store.. not things I really feel proud of reporting but T tells me I should count everything. So there we go.

Can someone lend me a coping mechanism or something????

 

Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01

Posted by sleepygirl2 on March 14, 2012, at 20:45:54

In reply to Help me cope.., posted by yellowbird01 on March 14, 2012, at 16:36:50

How's the weather where you are?
Can you spend some time outside?

 

Re: Help me cope..

Posted by yellowbird01 on March 14, 2012, at 22:33:02

In reply to Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01, posted by sleepygirl2 on March 14, 2012, at 20:45:54

It was really pretty today. Upper 70s. I went for a walk at the park.. I'm not sure if it helped in the long run but it kept me safe at the time, so that's good. Tomorrow its supposed to rain though.

Tomorrow I'm also supposed to go to work... where I'm supposed to help people in crisis. HAHA. I'm usually pretty stable btw... I'm actually good at the job usually... I just flipped the last few days.

Talked to T tonight and she suggested I go to the hospital. Hmmmm...

I know no one knows me here anymore. It's weird for me to be posting. But I'm feeling desperate and my judgment for social appropriateness is off, so forgive me.

 

Re: Help me cope..

Posted by tetrix on March 14, 2012, at 23:18:33

In reply to Re: Help me cope.., posted by yellowbird01 on March 14, 2012, at 22:33:02

Yellow, I feel your pain.
I suggest the following
1. Read, pick up articles about some distant tribes or different cultures if you dont want to read a book. Science magazines are also good. That might help getting different ideas on your head. Will give you another perspective on things.
2. Spoil yourself - whatever works for you - I usually go to plays or have a nice evening out dining with a friend.
3. Herbal tea is awesome
4. Candles, especially in the evening, very soothing
5. Kittens :D
6. Remind yourself that you are a biological wonder and you have a unique DNA and you are who you are in this wolrd. And you are a very intrinsic part of it and you are connected to everything that is alive.

hope you find your comfort

 

Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01

Posted by sleepygirl2 on March 15, 2012, at 6:23:54

In reply to Re: Help me cope.., posted by yellowbird01 on March 14, 2012, at 22:33:02

Who helps the helper when they need help?
interesting question
I wouldn't worry about what's socially appropriate btw.
especially here
I do remember your name.
You know, the days are made up of hours, minutes, moments, so if you can feel ok for little bits at a time, then that's something.
a decent movie? a good tv show?

 

Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01

Posted by Dinah on March 15, 2012, at 10:21:55

In reply to Help me cope.., posted by yellowbird01 on March 14, 2012, at 16:36:50

To be frank, I take one of my as needed Risperdal for as long as I need. Coping mechanisms are well and good, but they aren't always sufficient. Once the worst of the physical problems of meltdown are in hand, it's easier to use coping mechanisms for the rest.

I also do a few effective but (in the long run) unhealthy distraction methods. I get obsessed with something. It could be endless games of Bejeweled or Drop Seven. It could be shopping. It could be getting all worked up about a news story. Or I fall asleep.

But Risperdal is more helpful to me than all the rest.

I remember you well, Yellowbird. I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now.

 

Re: Help me cope..

Posted by yellowbird01 on March 15, 2012, at 10:31:42

In reply to Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01, posted by sleepygirl2 on March 15, 2012, at 6:23:54

Thank you all for the suggestions... really. I'm trying.. and more suggestions help. I have prn xanax but I dont take it often because it just makes me feel tired and not much else. My pdoc gave me prn zyprexa on Tues but I've been too afraid to take it because of the weight gain. I need to suck it up with that I think. I did get to talk to T last night on the phone even though that is absolutely 100% against her new set boundaries for her whole practice (as of Dec). She called for scheduling and ended up talking to me for about 10 minutes. That helped a lot, although I'll probably get dinged for it later since I did kind of suck her into it when I wasnt supposed to. Today I feel a little better. Still on edge.... the ledge of sanity I'm standing on is very narrow but that's okay, I'm on it. For now. I'm thinking more clearly though. You know what's scary... Tues and Wed, crisis days.. I remember them, I mean I can recount the day etc.. but they are very blurry. Like I wasnt REALLY fully there. Does this happen to anyone else? Today I feel fully here. That's a good sign.

And hello to those who do remember me. :) I never really stopped reading here, so I've been around.. I just never know what to say or contribute so I dont really post. Plus, I've been doing pretty well most of the time. Thank you for allowing me to jump in like this.

I am going to work tonight. 2p-12a. So if nothing else, that'll keep me busy and safe because I'll be around others. I'm going to try and busy myself in computer/documentation tasks rather than trying to support others tonight... i think that's the best for everyone.

 

Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01

Posted by Dinah on March 15, 2012, at 10:37:11

In reply to Re: Help me cope.., posted by yellowbird01 on March 15, 2012, at 10:31:42

AP's are really nothing like benzos. They work far far better for a meltdown than a benzo does. They help my mind focus rather than make me sleepy. I can't recall the last time I took a benzo. Maybe I would for immediate emergency situations or if I were going on an airplane.

And for me, it isn't necessary to take Risperdal all the time. Once the worst is over, I go off them. As a diabetic they aren't really good for me.

Zyprexa is the most sedating of them, though. So if it doesn't work for that reason, don't give up on the whole genre.

I understand the fear of weight gain. But the consequences of a meltdown are pretty severe. Taking an AP when needed for just as long as you need to to feel stable shouldn't be a huge weight gain risk, and far preferable to the fallout from a meltdown.

 

Re: Help me cope..

Posted by yellowbird01 on March 15, 2012, at 12:01:23

In reply to Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01, posted by Dinah on March 15, 2012, at 10:37:11

Thanks Dinah. I guess I wasnt really aware of the difference in this situation... I just figured they'd both knock me out, which isnt really what I want. Maybe I'll give it a try. Once cant hurt.

One of my fears was triggering my old eating disorder, but I'm finding that that has already happened. I lost a few lbs the last few days because I wasnt eating due to no appetite. I'm very petite anyway so a few lbs is noticable. Losing weight unintentionally, and being able to see it on my body, is a huge trigger for me. Today I have more of an appetite but I'm resisting eating. That's old stuff. So right now, I'm going to go eat lunch. I dont want to, but it's healthy and I need to. I'm going to be kind and take care of myself because that's the right thing to do, even if my brain says otherwise. And I'm putting pressure on myself to follow through by posting here.

Thank you all for helping me make it through this. Sometimes just knowing someone is out there helps.. I'm starting to get myself back together and feeling safer again. One hour at a time.

 

Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01

Posted by Dinah on March 15, 2012, at 13:35:30

In reply to Re: Help me cope.., posted by yellowbird01 on March 15, 2012, at 12:01:23

Risperdal helps me with my obsessions as well. If Seroquel does that with you, that might help the fear of taking Seroquel.

 

Re: Help me cope..

Posted by emmanuel98 on March 15, 2012, at 19:40:09

In reply to Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01, posted by Dinah on March 15, 2012, at 13:35:30

As my DBT therapist says, I am the master of distraction. If I keep myself crazily busy, I don't get out-of-control depression and SI. She has been teaching me how to "sit with" these feelings. Say, I'm depressed and thinking about suicide right now. What is this about? How does this feel in my body. Watch it. Let it pass. This takes a ton of practice though.

Like Dinah, I take Risperdal prn. I take it rarely because it makes me gain weight like crazy, but it really works fast. I take 4mg and feel like a normal person.

Also, it's strange that your t doesn't allow phone calls. If my p-doc hadn't allowed me to call him in the first few years, I think I would have lost it completely. He never stays on the phone long and doesn't act like this is a social conversation, but he does call back quickly and asks what's wrong and suggests how I might handle it. My DBT therapist also allows calls, though I call her rarely. But when I have, she calls right back and is very helpful. I've never heard of a t not allowing calls. What if you are in crisis? Just go to the ER and don't even call to tell her you're there?

 

Re: Help me cope.. emmanuel98

Posted by yellowbird01 on March 15, 2012, at 23:55:20

In reply to Re: Help me cope.., posted by emmanuel98 on March 15, 2012, at 19:40:09

I've seen my T on and off since I was 18.. coming up on 12 years now. Up until December, she always accepted crisis phone calls, as long as they were infrequent... I called about once a year, twice at most. She also allowed emails and voicemails whenever as long as I didnt expect a response. In fact, she encouraged them... said to me MANY times to call and let her know how I was doing if I wanted, for accountability, to know someone was hearing me, etc. I emailed maybe once every 3 weeks. It was really important to me to feeling connected, feeling less alone, feeling cared about. In December, she decided to change her policy for her entire private practice and so longer accepts any of the above. No crisis calls, no emails, no voicemails, period. She says that if youre in crisis and cant handle it alone, go to the ER. Basically, I flipped. Really. I wasnt inappropriate or mean or anything, but it totally destroyed our relationship. After 11 years of accepting and encouraging this contact, then one day it's gone.. especially when she clearly says I didnt misuse it or do anything to lead to her taking it away... really hurt me. We debated it for weeks but she has no plans to change. We were in a very vulnerable spot in my therapy where I was just starting to explore some traumas I'd resisted before, and it destroyed me sense of security and trust. We're still working on rebuilding that... I wasnt sure I could continue for awhile and it hasnt been easy at all. I'm still really struggling with feeling like she doesnt care. I dont feel special anymore or like she cares anymore. So I'm afraid I'll get "in trouble" this week for engaging her in conversation last night when she called for scheduling. I was desperate. But I know I pushed a boundary too. I always try really hard to respect her boundaries. We'll see.


 

Re: Help me cope.. Dinah

Posted by yellowbird01 on March 16, 2012, at 0:07:44

In reply to Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01, posted by Dinah on March 15, 2012, at 13:35:30

Sorry Dinah, I'm confused. Did you mean zyprexa instead of seroquel? Can you help me understand what you mean here?

 

Re: Help me cope.. yellowbird01

Posted by Dinah on March 16, 2012, at 14:12:23

In reply to Re: Help me cope.. Dinah, posted by yellowbird01 on March 16, 2012, at 0:07:44

Ah yes, sorry. When I read your original post, I somehow thought "seroquel", which is of course the most sedating of the AP's. :)


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.