Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1013000

Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I'm Stuck!!

Posted by Daisym on March 13, 2012, at 20:47:46

I'm stuck, I'm stuck!

I can't seem to find the words for all the turmoil inside me. I want to, I think.

But I resent my therapist trying to open it up. I've been leaving frustrated and angry. Why can't he help me? Why can't he just leave me alone?

What is it I want from him?

Is this a teenage fit?


Suggestions - PLEASE!

 

Re: I'm Stuck!!

Posted by emmanuel98 on March 13, 2012, at 20:51:23

In reply to I'm Stuck!!, posted by Daisym on March 13, 2012, at 20:47:46

How often do you see him? Maybe you need to see him less frequently and dial down the intensity. That's what my p-doc always suggested when things felt to intense.

 

Re: I'm Stuck!!

Posted by b2chica on March 14, 2012, at 15:14:23

In reply to Re: I'm Stuck!!, posted by emmanuel98 on March 13, 2012, at 20:51:23

i think it depends on your personality.
i agree that youcould lessen your visits to allow things to calm down. but for me it was like tearing off a bandaid really slowly. i endedup upping my visits and getting that stuff out fast.

it sounds like you might be getting to the really sensitive stuff that you dont want to deal with. but remember you are not alone. you are safe. you've already been through the bad and that was in the past.
AND you dont have to talk until your ready.
if you want to slow down slow down.

Best wishes to you daisy!
b2c.

 

Re: I'm Stuck!!

Posted by Twinleaf on March 15, 2012, at 7:08:13

In reply to I'm Stuck!!, posted by Daisym on March 13, 2012, at 20:47:46

Rather than ask yourself what you want from him, a better question might be to ask yourself how you would like to be treated by him right now. Maybe you are in an area of pre-verbal fears and longings. Do you think it would help if you were just together, without speaking much, and without any probing and questioning? Just allowing the being together to be the most important thing happening? (This has helped me a lot when dealing with very early issues)

 

Re: I'm Stuck!!

Posted by annierose on March 15, 2012, at 7:11:31

In reply to Re: I'm Stuck!!, posted by b2chica on March 14, 2012, at 15:14:23

i think cutting back is not a good idea. that angst, hurt, sad feelings need support and attention. it would like telling little daisy to not tell - again. she has so much hurt and wants so badly to tell her therapist and have him understand - but she isn't happy with having to do it. it's hard and shouldn't he already know? shouldn't he make it all better just because?

cutting back now only means that those feelings get buried once again. keep plugging along, keep trying to trust him with knowing, even if it's only baby steps.

i'm late starting my day ... i will try to add more thoughts later.

 

Re: I'm Stuck!! » Daisym

Posted by Dinah on March 15, 2012, at 10:18:00

In reply to I'm Stuck!!, posted by Daisym on March 13, 2012, at 20:47:46

Do you feel like a teen whose parent is trying to keep them attached while you want to be more independent and keep your thoughts private? I have a teen right now, and I can tell there are things he genuinely wants to keep private as opposed to things he feels inhibited sharing. It's not always easy telling which is which. :)

Or do you feel like he's pressing you to say something you're not quite ready to say?

In either case, maybe your therapist does need to back off a bit. I know sometimes when my therapist is pushing me a bit too much, I point out that his hurry seems to be more about him than what's best for me. He wants something for or from me more than I want it for myself. That rarely works out well for us. He's good about backing off then, and accepting me where I am. At which time I paradoxically wish to share what I didn't want to share when he was pushing.

You're inside you. What does it feel like to you? Is he encroaching or is he pushing (as opposed to accepting)?

 

Re: I'm Stuck!!

Posted by Twinleaf on March 21, 2012, at 17:59:53

In reply to I'm Stuck!!, posted by Daisym on March 13, 2012, at 20:47:46

Hey Daisy, how are things now? Thinking of you, and hoping they are better....

 

Re: I'm Stuck!!

Posted by Daisym on March 26, 2012, at 23:52:53

In reply to Re: I'm Stuck!!, posted by Twinleaf on March 21, 2012, at 17:59:53

Thanks for all the support and advice and for checking in on me.

I've been down with a cold for a week so missed all my sessions last week. Prior to that my therapist asked me to write him a letter to try and find the words that were stuck. It was helpful. We read it together and it led to some discussion around needing him and not wanting to need him and still having stories of abuse to tell. I want those memories to stop and they do for awhile but when the dreams start again I find it hard to bring it up. I so desperately want to be done with this part of the work.

And one of the things that is front and center has been how the legacy of abuse shows itself in my body image. Like how my default explanation for any kind of rejection is "I'm too fat" because that is an easier (or maybe more familiar) flaw to take in. So this is really core stuff - no wonder I can't talk. It feels like a mine-field.

But I'll keep trying. Glad you are all still here.


 

Re: I'm Stuck!!

Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2012, at 9:45:56

In reply to Re: I'm Stuck!!, posted by Daisym on March 26, 2012, at 23:52:53

A letter was a great idea!

Body image is such a tough topic. It's so hard for me to discuss, and I think it's an area my therapist does not do well in. A mine field indeed! It's great that you feel comfortable enough to attempt it.

 

Re: I'm Stuck!! » Daisym

Posted by Twinleaf on March 27, 2012, at 19:02:20

In reply to Re: I'm Stuck!!, posted by Daisym on March 26, 2012, at 23:52:53

Writing that letter seems to have really helped you focus on what was bothering you so much. I think we can all relate to longing to have our feelings about trauma resolved and over and done with.

I have also had body image issues, and have found it one of the hardest things to talk about. I am talking about it quite a bit now, but this is five years in!


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