Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1011528

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Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah

Posted by Beckett on February 25, 2012, at 14:47:31

In reply to I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Dinah on February 25, 2012, at 11:09:55

Well, as sigi said, there really is no hope at all. But there is some grace maybe....

Then there is menopause to be weathered if you haven't already. I hear things can clear up after that muddle.

Life seems especially gloomy and finite when measured out in dogs.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed

Posted by Beckett on February 25, 2012, at 15:33:15

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah, posted by Beckett on February 25, 2012, at 14:47:31

>Life seems especially gloomy and finite when measured out in dogs.

Actually, a life measured in dogs seems very satisfying. And independent living, never mind if there is a bit of dislike for the company of groups of people that may partially drive that. That's more to the point. All the more difficult to give up.

Contemplating the end of something deeply rewarding would provoke an existential confrontation.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed

Posted by sigismund on February 25, 2012, at 15:41:49

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Beckett on February 25, 2012, at 15:33:15

You can always get an old dog and time it so you die together :)

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah

Posted by sleepygirl2 on February 25, 2012, at 16:03:05

In reply to I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Dinah on February 25, 2012, at 11:09:55

Dinah,
There's much more life in you, but I suppose we all get smacked in the face with finality sometimes.
I think about it too. The years go by fast.
What to do about feeling depressed?


 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed

Posted by papillon2 on February 25, 2012, at 19:38:46

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah, posted by sleepygirl2 on February 25, 2012, at 16:03:05

Perhaps a rescue group might let you take on foster dogs?

I am sorry that you may be relapsing.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed

Posted by Twinleaf on February 25, 2012, at 20:20:35

In reply to I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Dinah on February 25, 2012, at 11:09:55

Realizing that we are getting older is not easy, but it usually doesn't cause depression by itself. It just comes to my mind that you have had some quite stressful sessions and issues with your therapist in recent months for which resolution seemed very difficult to find. Don't know if this is a factor or not, but I am sorry to hear that this is happening...

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed

Posted by Phillipa on February 25, 2012, at 23:44:19

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Twinleaf on February 25, 2012, at 20:20:35

They say aging is not for the weak it's for the strong. I quit reading the obits quite a few years ago. Never watch the news keep on trucking. Phillipa

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed

Posted by Raisinb on February 26, 2012, at 0:41:04

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Twinleaf on February 25, 2012, at 20:20:35

Okay, Dinah? Fifty is nothing. My ninety year old grandmothers walk six miles per day, cook up a storm, and run the salvation army.

But Twinleaf is right: being depressed is a separate issue and perhaps not as age-related as it might seem.

Wonderful dogs will come into your life from all directions. My pit bull, clementine, came from one of my south side of Chicago students (where nobody gets dogs spayed or neutered). I drove down to scary land, stood on a dark porch, and was handed a six week old puppy with no questions asked. I think "nobody over sixty" is a little prima Donna of them.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Raisinb

Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:33:19

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Raisinb on February 26, 2012, at 0:41:04

I suppose things are seldom caused by just one issue. I was already upset about fifty to the point where I'd said I was fifty for two or three years before I actually turned fifty so I could get used to the notion. It's not just the thought of getting older. There are also complicated notions about being an adult in the real world. I discovered last night that Barney in Barney Miller was younger than I am now during the show's run. And he was very definitely a grown up responsible person. I suppose there's always something that really drives the point home, about age and death. For me it was the thing about the rescue groups. It's not like I don't understand the reasoning. I do. And as my husband pointed out, rescue groups turn down all sorts of homes - sometimes for some odd reasons. But I've had dogs as a central part of my life for most of my life. I've often played the "someday I'd like a Newfie" game so often. Though I've gradually decided what breeds are really best for me. To suddenly think instead "I maybe have one puppy left in me." really drives home how limited life is. I already understood that, as two of our high school circle of ten or twelve died long ago. But this was a different sort of driving home.

My family stays pretty healthy into their seventies I suppose. Then all our bad habits catch up with us. My mother isn't doing too well, and that may also be playing a role, since I worry what will happen down the road with her.

Then summer is coming up. I hate hot. I'm just sick and tired of the cycles of life.

I'm just tired period.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Phillipa

Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:42:19

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Phillipa on February 25, 2012, at 23:44:19

That's the truth, Phillipa. I suppose there's nothing to do about it, except die. And while I reserve that option if things get bad enough, it's not nearly bad enough at this point. So I do need to shake this off and just keep moving on.

Someone I know told her mother she was taking her for a visit to her home across the country. Then put her in a home. When she kept trying to escape, they saw it as a sign of her senility. Hello? Kidnapped and incarcerated against her will? Trying to escape was a sign of sanity, IMO. She died not long after...

I'm not saying they are bad for everyone. I know they aren't. I know of cases where it was entirely voluntary. But not for an anxious and solitary person like me. My goal was always to be the crazy dog lady. A suburban hermit.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Twinleaf

Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:47:27

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Twinleaf on February 25, 2012, at 20:20:35

I've gotten pretty used to stressful situations with my therapist. I'm not sure he has the power to send me into a long term depression anymore.

Which is a bit depressing in itself. But something I've already accepted.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed papillon2

Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:49:25

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by papillon2 on February 25, 2012, at 19:38:46

I could probably get a puppy. There will likely be breeders or rescuers older than I am who won't want to say I'm too old to own a dog.

Time really flies, doesn't it? At my most adult, I don't feel a day over thirty five.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed sleepygirl2

Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:50:33

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah, posted by sleepygirl2 on February 25, 2012, at 16:03:05

I suppose I could get as much as possible done in the morning. When I seem to be at my best?!!! This is an unusual state for me. I generally warm up as the day goes on.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed sigismund

Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:51:09

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by sigismund on February 25, 2012, at 15:41:49

There is always that possibility. :)

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed sigismund

Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:54:30

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah, posted by sigismund on February 25, 2012, at 13:24:58

What a good sport your mother is. :)

Do they refer to her as "we"? "Are we ready for our bath?" I'm not generally a violent person, but that just might do it for me.

Also, when I've gone to doctor appointments with my parents, the doctor often talks to me rather than to them.

Getting old is so lacking in dignity.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Beckett

Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:57:05

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Beckett on February 25, 2012, at 15:33:15

Yes, I think so.

My dogs have always been my comfort and my companions. When things seem bleak, burying my face in sheepdog fur brings calm to my soul. There's something about that feel and smell...

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed

Posted by Willful on February 26, 2012, at 15:29:40

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed sigismund, posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:54:30

One thing though is that depression really is separate from the thoughts that we ascribe it to.

Even if things like turning fifty and thinking that you'll be turned down by rescue organization and that you can get the "seniors" rate at the theatre, and all that-- even if that stuff is a bummer, I think depression really is separate from all that.

I find that when I'm depressed I will find something to be depressed about. There are lots of things one can hang one's unhappiness or agitation on. But yet, the next day, when I'm not so depressed, when my meds are working better or whatever, suddenly things things vanish, though they are just as true.

So finally I've come to believe (not just "know") that the frightening or demoralizing ideas that I hang my depression on, and which I used to think caused it, are really just convenient ways of explaining it to myself. Things that can be the reason for, and point of my suffering.

But they really aren't. And the more true and the more awful they are, of course, the more convincing it is to think they're a cause. But the causes, whatever they are, lie deeper and elsewhere. The real challenge is to discover where and to learn how to cope with, and maybe transform whatever it is. I'm not anywhere near that, but at least I do try to remind myself as often as I can. It doesn't change my mood per se-- but it gives me a chance.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Willful

Posted by Twinleaf on February 26, 2012, at 17:55:30

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Willful on February 26, 2012, at 15:29:40

That is such an insightful view of what depression really is - thanks so much for posting it.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah

Posted by Phillipa on February 26, 2012, at 19:01:43

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed Phillipa, posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:42:19

Dinah that stinks!!! And I did the same with 65. Worried all through 64 thinking when I was 65 it would disppear now it's soon 66 and still feel the same. But with all the dogs and pups not wanted with economy the shelter surely are not going by age? Phillipa

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Willful

Posted by Dinah on February 27, 2012, at 10:04:58

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed, posted by Willful on February 26, 2012, at 15:29:40

You're likely right. There are times when I'd shake those things right off. I'd include that prohibition with the many other prohibitions that I thought were a bit odd given the number of dogs and cats that need homes. I thought I'd already reconciled myself to "50" and decided that if forty was the new thirty then fifty must be the new forty. And when I get to sixty, I can start looking forward to the benefits of age.

There's also the physical part of feeling best when I first wake up. That is so opposite my normal schedule that there is probably something going on.

I wonder if I'll shortly be getting one of my now once yearly periods.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Phillipa

Posted by Dinah on February 27, 2012, at 10:07:42

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah, posted by Phillipa on February 26, 2012, at 19:01:43

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/heavy_petting/2012/01/animal_rescue_want_to_adopt_a_dog_or_cat_prepare_for_an_inquisition_.html

Here's the article.

I do need to start exercising. That probably causes a lot of my problems. I don't generally eat so excessively, except perhaps when I'm anxious.

Or king cake season.

Or yorkshire pudding on Christmas.

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah

Posted by Phillipa on February 27, 2012, at 20:21:15

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed Phillipa, posted by Dinah on February 27, 2012, at 10:07:42

Dinah that is totally nuts in my opinion. I wouldn't deal with groups like this. I am sure there are many other rescue animal sites. Also with the age thing I had to laugh maybe 50 is the new 40 but seriously look forward to aging at 60? All you have to look forward to are money issues unless you are truly wealthy, and health issues. Never did I think someone who ate so healthy, excercised all the time, slept well, had a great job, could get sick. Now all I hear is stories of the neighbor's health problems. But just now over 60 many much younger are dying of different illnesses. So back to the article on pets what causes these people to think that age is such a huge factor? Phillipa

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah

Posted by fayeroe on March 4, 2012, at 23:21:15

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed papillon2, posted by Dinah on February 26, 2012, at 9:49:25

> I could probably get a puppy. There will likely be breeders or rescuers older than I am who won't want to say I'm too old to own a dog.
>
> Time really flies, doesn't it? At my most adult, I don't feel a day over thirty five.

Dear Dinah, of course you aren't too old to get a puppy! I'm 68 and someone dropped two German shepherd puppies here last summer and I kept them. Dom Deluise and Dinah Shore are their names. Dom is going to be huge. Probably 80-90 lbs. He is an excellent watchdog. They both are very good at guarding. Dinah especially hates crows and barks at them if they have the temerity to walk in her pasture. Dom is terrified of Thelma, of "Thelma and Louise" because she marches up and gets some of the food out of his pan. She pecks him on the nose if he doesn't move back. Thelma is a hen, one of three. In fact, Thelma has established herself as the disciplinarian of the entire menagerie. She chases anyone who earns her scorn. We have no idea what 'earns her scorn' but she certainly knows and doesn't waste any time letting the offender know about it. She raises up her wings and jumps into the air and lands running. She is black with beautiful emerald highlights on her feathers. I could go on and on about the pets. There are more than I've named. I could tell you about breaking up the bull fight that started just outside the yard by my window. I was so mad that they were fighting that close to the house that I contemplated shooting them. Not really. But I was mad. Who wants to listen to bulls bellowing at 2 a.m.? I chase them in my pickup while hitting them on the butt with a broom. I'm sure that aliens have given up on landing in Oklahoma.
Get a puppy if you want and need one! It changes e verything. I feel about 40 now. Pat

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed fayeroe

Posted by Beckett on March 5, 2012, at 15:33:06

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed Dinah, posted by fayeroe on March 4, 2012, at 23:21:15

I would have liked to have seen this 2:00 am chase.
>
> Dear Dinah, of course you aren't too old to get a puppy! I'm 68 and someone dropped two German shepherd puppies here last summer and I kept them. Dom Deluise and Dinah Shore are their names. Dom is going to be huge. Probably 80-90 lbs. He is an excellent watchdog. They both are very good at guarding. Dinah especially hates crows and barks at them if they have the temerity to walk in her pasture. Dom is terrified of Thelma, of "Thelma and Louise" because she marches up and gets some of the food out of his pan. She pecks him on the nose if he doesn't move back. Thelma is a hen, one of three. In fact, Thelma has established herself as the disciplinarian of the entire menagerie. She chases anyone who earns her scorn. We have no idea what 'earns her scorn' but she certainly knows and doesn't waste any time letting the offender know about it. She raises up her wings and jumps into the air and lands running. She is black with beautiful emerald highlights on her feathers. I could go on and on about the pets. There are more than I've named. I could tell you about breaking up the bull fight that started just outside the yard by my window. I was so mad that they were fighting that close to the house that I contemplated shooting them. Not really. But I was mad. Who wants to listen to bulls bellowing at 2 a.m.? I chase them in my pickup while hitting them on the butt with a broom. I'm sure that aliens have given up on landing in Oklahoma.
> Get a puppy if you want and need one! It changes e verything. I feel about 40 now. Pat

 

Re: I think I'm getting depressed

Posted by papillon2 on March 5, 2012, at 21:52:20

In reply to Re: I think I'm getting depressed fayeroe, posted by Beckett on March 5, 2012, at 15:33:06

> I would have liked to have seen this 2:00 am chase.

I'm quite amused about Thelma the hen!


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