Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1011288

Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

so how do YOU deal with stressors?

Posted by b2chica on February 23, 2012, at 12:35:35

it seems to me that when i'm doing well. stress gives me anxiety and i exercise and most is better if not i take a pill or two and things are fine.

if i'm down already however, get Major anxiety, i shut down and dont talk, 1 pill turns into 6 very quickly. then comes the dark thoughts.
why is that.
why when i'm down already do i turn to such thoughts. i mean looked at rationally that seems quick sick. very ill i mean to turn to suicidal thoughts because (lets say) a friend is having severe relationship problems...
i mean really. i dont understand this.

i know i have ptsd but can that really be it. is it that i'm already down there and the thoughts are just waiting for a reason to filter through?

someone please give me your insight.
and WHAT does one do when then hear things from people that REALLY upsets them, say job issues, or friends or family relationship issues.

please.
b2c.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?

Posted by Solstice on February 23, 2012, at 13:58:17

In reply to so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by b2chica on February 23, 2012, at 12:35:35

> it seems to me that when i'm doing well. stress gives me anxiety and i exercise and most is better if not i take a pill or two and things are fine.
>
> if i'm down already however, get Major anxiety, i shut down and dont talk, 1 pill turns into 6 very quickly. then comes the dark thoughts.
> why is that.
> why when i'm down already do i turn to such thoughts. i mean looked at rationally that seems quick sick. very ill i mean to turn to suicidal thoughts because (lets say) a friend is having severe relationship problems...
> i mean really. i dont understand this.
>
> i know i have ptsd but can that really be it. is it that i'm already down there and the thoughts are just waiting for a reason to filter through?
>
> someone please give me your insight.
> and WHAT does one do when then hear things from people that REALLY upsets them, say job issues, or friends or family relationship issues.
>
> please.
> b2c.

Hi b2.. if the difficulties of those around us affect us like that, sometimes it's because we are extra-compassionate, and maybe taking on responsibility for things that is not ours to take... in that we feel like we have to make their world okay. It can be a big relief if we can really grow into the understanding that the only people we are responsible for is our own self, and our minor children. The world is a tough place. Especially now, because the long and deep economic crisis causes a lot of stress everywhere.

But we cannot make decisions for anyone else (i.e. if someone we really care about is staying in an abusive relationship and that stresses us). YOUR job, though, is to know your limitations and sensitivities. If you are hanging on by a thread, it's your job to protect your fragile state. You may have to retreat from relationships that involve a lot of drama/trauma until you are stronger. I know that during the period of my deepest depression, I did not watch the news and I didn't read the newspaper. You have to insulate yourself. For you and your kids. Tell people that you really do care about them, but that you are not in a place where you can share their burden. You really do need to know that you are not responsible for others. When you are healthy, you can be a shoulder to cry on.. but right now you cannot do that without hurting yourself.

Please take care of yourself.

Solstice

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?

Posted by sigismund on February 23, 2012, at 16:57:03

In reply to Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by Solstice on February 23, 2012, at 13:58:17

I was that kind of irritating child who cried for the length of Good Friday and also whenever anyone was dying from a shark attack. Occasionally also when trees were cut down. I am remembered walking into where the cattle were being castrated and telling the men 'This is wrong'. I haven't changed a bit. Does it serve a function? Did my heart just always feel broken? Did I feel that if I had to live separatly (sp!) I would rather not live at all?

OK, here is a theory. I have problems with feeling separate and I need to dip my toes in the waters of suffering to keep me sane. I suppose if I was living in the C18 I would be waiting for Mr Darcy. So stressors for me are things I can't understand....pure hell is polite reserved conversation with subtext, like party conversation....the best for me is with people who are kind and friendly and at least sometimes feel that it is all a lost cause. I've managed to seek them out.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors? sigismund

Posted by B2chica on February 24, 2012, at 7:36:56

In reply to Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by sigismund on February 23, 2012, at 16:57:03

boy sig does your first paragraph ring a bell. its things like that that DO set me off. i'm sorry for you but im glad i'mnot a total freak and all alone with that.

thanks

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?

Posted by Beckett on February 24, 2012, at 10:05:48

In reply to Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by sigismund on February 23, 2012, at 16:57:03

>I was that kind of irritating child

I'm thinking about that word irritating. What it means here.

My son cries often. For instance, he defends ticks. If they must be killed (since we have reasoned they bear disease) it must be done humanely. No mindlessly tossing them in the wood stove. He is not irritating. He causes us to rethink. And talk. To him and each other.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors? b2chica

Posted by Beckett on February 24, 2012, at 11:36:23

In reply to so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by b2chica on February 23, 2012, at 12:35:35

b2c, to answer honestly, the first thing I do is hide. That is my reflex. I retreat and get weird and blame myself. Somehow. But you asked how does one cope. So, the very best way I get out of it is by talking to someone about it. Which is difficult because I hide. I build up lots of social anxiety to the point of phobia. This also means I might cry in front of them. Unforntuately because I so dislike that about myself despite how I champion it for others. But when I talk to someone, darn, everything seems to smooth out and right itself. Then I can so much more easily do the other things like walk and other self-care stuff that falls away when I get stressed and depressed.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors? Beckett

Posted by sigismund on February 24, 2012, at 13:07:38

In reply to Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by Beckett on February 24, 2012, at 10:05:48

> he defends ticks.

Good on him, but I am glad my kids did not cry for all of Good Friday. Truth be told they would have been astonished that I had done so. With a naive positive outlook they would have said 'Oh that was when you believed all that superstition'. I can't remember how many times I have had serious arguments about religion starting with 'Of course Jesus existed.' Organising a Spanish course I am speaking to someone called Jesus. So I write letters which start 'Dear Jesus....' It feels strange.

Yes you are right. People become more interesting if you take them seriously and treat them with respect. It is just about how to bring out the best in each other, hey?

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors? sigismund

Posted by Beckett on February 24, 2012, at 13:16:13

In reply to Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors? Beckett, posted by sigismund on February 24, 2012, at 13:07:38

I find the letters that start out Dear Santa to be more light-hearted.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?

Posted by sigismund on February 24, 2012, at 17:24:04

In reply to Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors? sigismund, posted by Beckett on February 24, 2012, at 13:16:13

Some suggestions for dealing with stressors just annoy me....candlelit baths and massages.

Classical music has been the best for me. Since (like Sylvia Plath!) I am inhabited by a cry which nightly flaps out looking for love, something like classical music which can beautifully portray extremes of grief is just something I have done forever. Otherwise I would like many litres of tr opii. Exercise is good. But nothing works very well.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors? Beckett

Posted by sigismund on February 24, 2012, at 17:26:37

In reply to Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors? b2chica, posted by Beckett on February 24, 2012, at 11:36:23

Yeah, finding someone you can talk to who at least can see where you are coming from, or even sees it as you do.

The conspiracy of public optimism doesn't make it any easier.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?

Posted by sigismund on February 24, 2012, at 17:37:44

In reply to Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by sigismund on February 24, 2012, at 17:24:04

>many litres of tr opii

Litres of laudanum sounds better.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?

Posted by Beckett on February 24, 2012, at 18:51:09

In reply to Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by sigismund on February 24, 2012, at 17:24:04

Sometimes music is too painful for me. I don't know why. It's when I am mended a bit I find it tolerable. I wish this was not true because I feel abandoned at these times. The more beautiful the music the more searing its effect. Liturgical music is especially out of the question at these times.

I do better with color. Paintings. Textiles. Watching the light through the trees. These activities are safe and soothing.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors? b2chica

Posted by Beckett on February 24, 2012, at 19:32:03

In reply to so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by b2chica on February 23, 2012, at 12:35:35

b2c, are you still making use of your earbuds? I recall them helping you out previously.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?

Posted by sigismund on February 24, 2012, at 20:16:30

In reply to Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by Beckett on February 24, 2012, at 18:51:09

> Liturgical music is especially out of the question at these times.

I worked my way through the masses paying particular attention to the Sanctus. As a non-Catholic I was fascinated (kind of) by transubstatiation.

I spend lots of time just looking at things and not thinking much. It goes like this....blue (sky), white (wall), some opium would be nice, all dark and comfortless. Certainly that is the only coherent thought I have had this morning, apart from reading about politics in the Saturday papers. So much nonsense.

 

Re: so how do YOU deal with stressors?

Posted by Dinah on February 25, 2012, at 10:37:52

In reply to so how do YOU deal with stressors?, posted by b2chica on February 23, 2012, at 12:35:35

I take a Risperdal and also self hypnotize with endless games of Bejeweled or Drop Seven. Or I get very groggy and fall asleep. My brain does that one for me.

I really suggest the endless mindless games.


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