Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 965976

Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

stupid comment

Posted by obsidian on October 16, 2010, at 12:04:13


"I hate kids. I always have."

so we say...

"Yes mom....we know."

and think "whatever."

this has become a perseverative comment on her part, you know the kind that people with poor memories keep repeating over and over again...

 

Yes it is » obsidian

Posted by Dinah on October 19, 2010, at 18:56:00

In reply to stupid comment, posted by obsidian on October 16, 2010, at 12:04:13

Your mother seems very fond of making comments like that, and it's hard to acquit her of trying to be hurtful.

Maybe you could hear it as an inadvertent self condemnation?

Or, as my husband and I do on occasion, make a game out of guessing how many and what type of stupid comments my mother might make at any given meeting. It doesn't cause her to make fewer, but it does make it a chance for an exchanged smile rather than what might be felt otherwise.

Although I must confess that my mother's comments don't seem designed to hurt. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

 

Re: Yes it is » Dinah

Posted by obsidian on October 19, 2010, at 21:38:03

In reply to Yes it is » obsidian, posted by Dinah on October 19, 2010, at 18:56:00

She's always had a way of going for the throat.
My siblings and I know it.
Evenutally, you learn to get out of the line of fire, but there's that damn shrapnel that gets me anyway.
I'd be afraid to leave my child with her (if I had one).
I wouldn't want to leave her alone with one for very long. The thing's I've heard her say to my nephew have been nothing short of scary. I was sure to give him the "you know it's not about you...." speech, but I think he already knows that.

but in fact, she can be nice too, but beware the landmines ;-)

 

Re: Yes it is

Posted by sigismund on October 20, 2010, at 14:28:57

In reply to Re: Yes it is » Dinah, posted by obsidian on October 19, 2010, at 21:38:03

>I'd be afraid to leave my child with her (if I had one).

That would be easy. You could just say 'I know you don't like kids'. (Couldn't you?)

After a visit to my family years ago I would feel like I had been a victim of assault and battery, made worse because it was all kind of unconscious.

 

Re: Yes it is » sigismund

Posted by obsidian on October 20, 2010, at 19:52:55

In reply to Re: Yes it is, posted by sigismund on October 20, 2010, at 14:28:57

it does feel like assault and battery. like, how much are you going to try and hurt me this time?

It really messes with me sometimes. I'll come back home all distraught about some damn thing, and I won't even know what happened to me.

 

Re: Yes it is » obsidian

Posted by sigismund on October 21, 2010, at 2:25:49

In reply to Re: Yes it is » sigismund, posted by obsidian on October 20, 2010, at 19:52:55

I'm so glad that my kids have the space to say to me the sorts of things I could never say to my parents.

Like 'Shut up. You're not helping'.

And others I won't mention.

 

Re: Yes it is » sigismund

Posted by obsidian on November 4, 2010, at 21:21:05

In reply to Re: Yes it is » obsidian, posted by sigismund on October 21, 2010, at 2:25:49

> I'm so glad that my kids have the space to say to me the sorts of things I could never say to my parents.
>
> Like 'Shut up. You're not helping'.
>
> And others I won't mention.

as long as you don't feel too hurt I hope,
and as long as there is another side to that,
an honesty and comfort that comes with a lot of love??
I wish that for you :-)


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