Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 946241

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dealing with death of husband of t

Posted by mmealltalk on May 4, 2010, at 6:29:23

A month and a half ago my therapist's husband died. He was someome I knew for many years. While I believe I have shared my feelings with my t often, I still feel like I am still in disbelief about his death. On the other hand I think about my therapist all the time, which I always did, but now my thoughts and feelings are of concern that she is okay and fear that she is alone, which I don't want. I know she has an extensive support system but still I worry about her so much. Her behavior when we meet is totally professional but then again you'd never guess that her husband was so sick before his death as she always remained professional.I worry that my inability to handle this will prolong her ability to deal well. I don't know what to do!
Thanks for listening (reading)
Mel

 

Re: dealing with death of husband of t mmealltalk

Posted by sassyfrancesca on May 4, 2010, at 7:45:51

In reply to dealing with death of husband of t, posted by mmealltalk on May 4, 2010, at 6:29:23

I would share my thoughts and concerns with her. I am sure she will appreciate your care and concern, and will ease your fears.

Sassy

 

Re: dealing with death of husband of t sassyfrancesca

Posted by mmealltalk on May 4, 2010, at 8:04:37

In reply to Re: dealing with death of husband of t mmealltalk, posted by sassyfrancesca on May 4, 2010, at 7:45:51

I do tell my therapist how I feel and about my thoughts about her, I am just afraid that my inability to handle this will in some way make it harder for her to deal as she listens to me so crazzed by this. I don't want to come in the way of her dealing
Mel

 

Re: dealing with death of husband of t mmealltalk

Posted by sassyfrancesca on May 4, 2010, at 8:35:22

In reply to Re: dealing with death of husband of t sassyfrancesca, posted by mmealltalk on May 4, 2010, at 8:04:37

Therapists are trained to handle anything.....supposedly, and if they have a problem, they consult with a peer. All you can be is authentic, and hope she is the same with you.

 

Re: dealing with death of husband of t

Posted by sadlittlegirl on May 4, 2010, at 17:01:06

In reply to dealing with death of husband of t, posted by mmealltalk on May 4, 2010, at 6:29:23

It's normal to be concerned about your therapist. You share so much with her and rely on her support, so of course it would be scary if her well-being was in doubt. Just keep sharing your concerns with her so that she can tell you how she's doing.

 

Re: dealing with death of husband of t mmealltalk

Posted by Dinah on May 5, 2010, at 7:51:34

In reply to dealing with death of husband of t, posted by mmealltalk on May 4, 2010, at 6:29:23

There's a great conversation in "Best Friends". Goldie Hawn says to Burt Reynolds 'You know what the worst part is? Right now I need to go and tell my best friend all my problems, and you're my best friend.' That's what comes to my mind sometimes in therapy, substituting therapist for best friend of course.

It seems like sometimes even with the most professional of therapists, their lives enter the therapy room and affect us. But they are no longer the detached third party in the room.

It sounds as if both of you are doing pretty well, or as well as possible under the circumstances. She's being professional, and she's let you know she's taking care of herself and has a support system. You're being honest with her about your feelings. If I've got that right, then I admire both of you. My therapist and I seem to have trouble maintaining those qualities in times like that.

If she's very professional, and has a support system, is it possible that she understands that it will be an issue with clients and has prepared for that?

Therapy is such a strange relationship sometimes.


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