Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by BabyToes on April 3, 2010, at 21:29:29
Hello, don't know if anyone remembers me.
The latest is that I am continuing with my APA complaint against my first T. I am turning in the paperwork in a week. This should get the ball rolling. (or his head)
I am no longer depressed and have been doing a lot of trauma therapy. I have made a lot of progress for my symptoms of PTSD. I have been with my new T for over a year and she has been awesome. I am getting to know my anger and what triggers it.
I am back in college and making good progress back on the dean's list. I am taking more creative classes instead of psychology. I just got published in three different areas all at once. Nonfiction, poetry and art. The publication is coming out in a couple of weeks and I am so excited. I also won first place for my non fiction in a contest judged by a very well known poet.
EMDR has opened up the trauma part of my past and it is much more extensive than I ever knew. But a positive part is that it has released surges of creativity. I have not been trained at all in art, but my recent paintings are being published. I guess it has opened up a talent I have never knew I had. It is a yearning it seems.
I still want to be a T, perhaps a trauma T specifically, once I am through my desensitization. My T believes I will be a natural at it, I understand it, I have gone through it and want to help others who are going through it. She say I am very intuitive and can read people very well. Too well sometimes, even with my own T. haha! So many people don't really understand PTSD or me when I am triggered.
Some who don't know me, wants to put labels on me like borderline but my T and all my T's before that says I do not have enough of the signs of that to dx it. I lead a pretty normal life and only have problems arise when I am triggered from the past. But those triggers are becoming less and less since they are being desensitized in therapy. I know my emotions now and can spot triggers before I react to them sometimes. There will always be things that anger me, but I am learning to not react to those things. If you were never allowed to show emotions growing up, you certainly don't learn how to control them, especially anger and frustration. My T has helped me a lot in this area. Sometimes I mess up but I am still learning. I have hope that I can overcome PTSD and not be triggered from the past. Life is good. So with the right T, it is possible to heal.
I still will fight against abuse of people and animals and help prevent abuse from starting in the first place. That is who I am, it is a cause that is personal to me and that I believe in.
I won't be around her much as I am really busy in my classes and non profit stuff I am doing. I was here once, not always in the best of circumstances, but I am thankful for this place and the people who pointed out what my therapist was doing was unethical. I am glad I fired him before things progressed.
Posted by rnny on April 3, 2010, at 22:22:38
In reply to update, posted by BabyToes on April 3, 2010, at 21:29:29
Well this has been my first time meeting you and let me say it is an honor. You sound like a dynamite person and are interesting ta-boot! I would love to see some of your work. I wish there was a way you could put it on a website and give us the link without putting your name on the website or anything. I have done that with blogger.com. Put up things and passed them on. I am thrilled for you that life is turning around. And I wish you the best with your complaint. You have so many talents and are using them. What a blessing that is. Like you, I am into anti abuse of animals and of people as well. I was introduced to the fine arts at a very early age but because they were forced on me, I didn't pursue anything in that field or even in terms of hobbies. The best to you and I am so glad you posted. Best wishes, rnny
Posted by BabyToes on April 3, 2010, at 23:40:33
In reply to Re: update, posted by rnny on April 3, 2010, at 22:22:38
I have been through a lot and are healing, but there are many more braver people than me who have been through a lot more stuff than me. I just wanted to thank those who helped me through this site, but I have also learned that this place and those like it are not healthy for me.
When I have only shared the struggles of my pain on here, and not my whole life, it was a very unbalanced view of me. A few really got to know me (not just the bad stuff), some I still keep in contact with. I feel my distance from here has helped me more than staying. I just don't agree with the policies held at this site so I won't be staying for long. I do feel those who have struggled with a past like mine and those who suffer from PTSD, tend to understand me. My symptoms are from PTSD, not a personality disorder.
I wish I could share my work with you, but I have reasons not to feel safe giving that info out here since everything you post is searchable by Google and for YEARS or forever.
Most of my creative stuff is public now, so you may come in contact with it some day. There is no way to separate my works with my name, it is on many sites now. I guess that is part of becoming an artist, you lose some of your privacy. I do plan on writing more of my life's story, as I feel there is value in it being told if it can help others. (especially the unethical therapist I have had to deal with, overcoming child abuse/torture and dealing with PTSD. There is so many of us out there, I am just a little speck of the millions. But I hope to make a difference, even if it is just a little one.
Just be careful in what you share on a site that keeps that info forever posted. You might not care now, but you might in 5 years.
Posted by LadyBug on April 4, 2010, at 18:51:36
In reply to Re: update, posted by BabyToes on April 3, 2010, at 23:40:33
(((((((HUGS))))))) You are an amazing person!!! Way to go!
Posted by BabyToes on April 5, 2010, at 8:57:39
In reply to Re: update » BabyToes, posted by LadyBug on April 4, 2010, at 18:51:36
You are amazing yourself! I know you know what it is like to suffer some really awful stuff due to therapy itself, plus all the crap life can hand you all at once. You have amazed me of all that you have gone through and yet you still remain you, a sweet person who cares a lot for others. I am glad we are friends.
Well I think it is best I carry on away from here...I am feeling my armpits getting sticky with no deodorant protection. lol I don't want to stick up this vacant place. I hear my echo back at me and it is telling me So long, so long, so long.....
This is the end of the thread.
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