Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 908848

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I hate my new therapist.

Posted by moonshadow on July 27, 2009, at 15:33:50

Was referred by my old t. My new one is psychoanalytical, lots of silence. I hate it. I don't see the point of silence, it makes me uncomfortable. I don't like her, I feel like she doesn't like me. I want to give up on this, on therapy altogether.

It's making me so depressed, so wanting to hurt myself. I hate this!

 

Re: I hate my new therapist.

Posted by friesandcoke on July 27, 2009, at 17:10:07

In reply to I hate my new therapist., posted by moonshadow on July 27, 2009, at 15:33:50

Boy can I relate to that feeling of thinking the T doesn't like you. I lost my T of 5 years and am really having a very hard time of it. I have a second appointment with a psychologist who was very distant, cold and didn't say hardly anything while I was pouring out all the reasons I needed therapy. It made me feel embarrased and like she didn't give a darn. She doesn't have to want to take me in and make me family! but you do want a feeling that the T you are seeing has a caring personality. A cold personality is offsetting. She reminded me of Freud or something. The way her body was postured in the chair, her taking notes, I was doing all the talking and it seemed all one sided. "I feel your pain".

 

Re: I hate my new therapist.

Posted by Moonshadow on July 27, 2009, at 17:41:59

In reply to Re: I hate my new therapist., posted by friesandcoke on July 27, 2009, at 17:10:07

> Boy can I relate to that feeling of thinking the T doesn't like you. I lost my T of 5 years and am really having a very hard time of it. I have a second appointment with a psychologist who was very distant, cold and didn't say hardly anything while I was pouring out all the reasons I needed therapy. It made me feel embarrased and like she didn't give a darn. She doesn't have to want to take me in and make me family! but you do want a feeling that the T you are seeing has a caring personality. A cold personality is offsetting. She reminded me of Freud or something. The way her body was postured intaking notes, I was doing all the talking and it seemed all one
sided. "I feel your pain". ------

That sounds so much like this pdoc I'm seeing! She's so analytical. I want it to work with her but I'm just not liking the Freud-ishness of it, or the silence. Doesn't seem natural. I want warmth. I want my old t!!!

 

Re: I hate my new therapist. » moonshadow

Posted by Dinah on July 27, 2009, at 20:31:35

In reply to I hate my new therapist., posted by moonshadow on July 27, 2009, at 15:33:50

Well, if you were looking for a therapist, you'd expect to interview a few before finding one that was a good fit, wouldn't you? Just because this one was recommended by your therapist doesn't mean it's a good fit for you.

If you don't like her approach to therapy, you have every right to look for a therapist who is more what you're looking for.

I recognize the disappointment that can come from a bad recommendation from someone we care about and expect to know us. My therapist gave me a few awful recommendations, and one good one. I think it's normal to hope that our therapist put a lot of care into who they recommend for us. But even if your therapist did, she only knows this person as a colleague, not as a therapist. It's ok if your old therapist was wrong about this.

 

Re: I hate my new therapist.

Posted by moonshadow on July 28, 2009, at 7:45:54

In reply to Re: I hate my new therapist. » moonshadow, posted by Dinah on July 27, 2009, at 20:31:35

> Well, if you were looking for a therapist, you'd expect to interview a few before finding one that was a good fit, wouldn't you? Just because this one was recommended by your therapist doesn't mean it's a good fit for you.
>
> If you don't like her approach to therapy, you have every right to look for a therapist who is more what you're looking for.
>
> I recognize the disappointment that can come from a bad recommendation from someone we care about and expect to know us. My therapist gave me a few awful recommendations, and one good one. I think it's normal to hope that our therapist put a lot of care into who they recommend for us. But even if your therapist did, she only knows this person as a colleague, not as a therapist. It's ok if your old therapist was wrong about this.

Thanks for the responses.
After thinking about it some more, I've decided to give it a couple more sessions. I told her I was uncomfortable with the silence - I'm hoping that she may be able to sort of meet me halfway, at least in the beginning. She's a psychiatrist who does therapy, and I know this is the only type of therapy she does.

As for looking for another therapist - I may have to, but I don't want to. My old therapist did so much calling around. Finding someone who's competent in my area, and who is on my insurance? Rare. I never thoughtI don't want to. I was so difficult.

Everything about my new therapist - near a friend who can babysit my daughter, she can prescribe meds if needed, she's quick to return calls, my insurance takes her... so many things are great. I think I need to open up myself to doing therapy in a different sort of way.

 

Re: I hate my new therapist. » moonshadow

Posted by Phillipa on July 28, 2009, at 12:45:30

In reply to Re: I hate my new therapist., posted by moonshadow on July 28, 2009, at 7:45:54

I found one good fit many years ago have tried many here and finally did quite looking. Phillipa


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