Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 903001

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does therapy actually make you worse

Posted by blahblahblah on June 24, 2009, at 18:52:46

sometimes i get the feeling that therapy is making me worse. I only get to see my T fortnightly due to in my country we get a certain amount of free pscyhology sessions a year. So after the first few days of seeing her i can't sleep, i have nightmares when i do sleep, i get suicidal, and i replay all the sh*t things my family has done in my head. and on top of this i miss my T like crazy. So at this point i'm at my lowest. i will usually call her a few days after in a panic, Then a week into it i am starting to feel a bit better. doing a little better without my T by my side, and trying to let go of my family pain and move on. Then i see my T and go back through the same cycle of the sh*t being brought up. the suicidal ideation, the nightmares, etc. Is there any chance that this is actually doing me worse?

 

Re: does therapy actually make you worse

Posted by onceupon on June 24, 2009, at 22:31:25

In reply to does therapy actually make you worse, posted by blahblahblah on June 24, 2009, at 18:52:46

Hi blahblahblah,

It sounds like the process of therapy is maybe retraumatizing you (assuming your experiences with your family have been traumatic). Are your sessions with your therapist particularly intense? Does she help you to feel more grounded/regulated by the end of the session? Does she know about your distress?

I can also see it being difficult to only see your therapist every other week. I have similar experiences, when I sometimes feel worse after a session, because something particularly intense has been stirred up. It's like being in therapy pulls me out of the everyday fog that I'm usually wandering around in. Then, when I go 2 weeks without seeing my therapist (which sometimes happens due to scheduling stuff - mostly on her part), it's like I forget about everything that happened and have to start all over again in the next session. That's just me, though.

When I talked with my therapist about feeling like I lose track of what we talk about, or feel overwhelmed by the intensity of it, she suggested that I email her once in between sessions to try to maintain more continuity. I actually don't often do this - only when I feel the need - but it does help somewhat to know I have this option. She never gives lengthy responses (if any), but we often discuss what I write during the next session. Do you think your therapist might be open to something like this?

I do want you to know that I think I know how you feel. And it sucks.

 

Re: does therapy actually make you worse » blahblahblah

Posted by obsidian on June 24, 2009, at 23:03:23

In reply to does therapy actually make you worse, posted by blahblahblah on June 24, 2009, at 18:52:46

you know it's very unfortunate when someone needs to process what comes up in therapy and they have only a short time with their therapist
it's really hard to get to the tough stuff, try to work with it, then just shove it all back inside to go about your everyday life. It really is not ideal.
I can remember times that I have walked out of therapy sobbing, then spending some time after that just trying to pull myself together. Relatedly, I don't like to have anything where I have to be put together going on right after my therapy appointment. Not that I seem to get anywhere with it these days, seems like the same old ground...but back to you.
I like what onceupon has said about finding away to build continuity. the email thing, or writing, or artwork or some sort of exercise from your T in between could be a helpful thing.
I'm sorry bbb :-(, and I wish you could get more of what you need.
take care,
sid

 

Re: does therapy actually make you worse » obsidian

Posted by deerock on June 25, 2009, at 8:07:39

In reply to Re: does therapy actually make you worse » blahblahblah, posted by obsidian on June 24, 2009, at 23:03:23

i see my therapist 3 times per week. i often feel the same way - disregulated after an appointment.

im not sure continuity has anything to do with it. it may. i feel like 3 days per week is not enough.

im not sure what the solution is other than to keep trying, with this therapist or another, writing your thoughts between sessions perhaps especially to yourself. ive seen people who have lots of wisdom and self knowledge who have not been in a lot of therapy. maybe its not required. i have no idea. im just throwing it out there.

 

Re: does therapy actually make you worse

Posted by GeneLady on July 15, 2009, at 14:44:28

In reply to Re: does therapy actually make you worse » obsidian, posted by deerock on June 25, 2009, at 8:07:39

Interesting. I had this feeling a lot when I was seeing a social worker T. Also a psychologist. It was, I guess, sort've like an addiction to that person. It certainly did nothing towards helping me feel empowered - probably why I finally stopped. I know now that I was being used by the first T and the second one really didn't care much.

Sometimes it really seems like (in fact at times I know it is) just a T presenting a pre-canned speech(es). That means I'm an object, not a unique human being. In those cases (my experiences for the most part) calling the person a therapist is something of an oxymoron no matter the board certification.

Perhaps there are better ones out there ....

 

Re: does therapy actually make you worse

Posted by friesandcoke on July 18, 2009, at 20:53:26

In reply to does therapy actually make you worse, posted by blahblahblah on June 24, 2009, at 18:52:46

what you talk about can make you feel worse. the traumatic events you discuss and such can carry over into your week after you leave the office. but you have to get that stuff out.

 

Re: does therapy actually make you worse

Posted by GeneLady on July 19, 2009, at 23:18:29

In reply to Re: does therapy actually make you worse, posted by friesandcoke on July 18, 2009, at 20:53:26

I have never yet found that I had to "get that stuff out". In fact, as I see someone close to me going through a new type of therapy with a new psychologist the last couple of years and improving, I wish we had never spent the thousands of dollars on the therapists who were the "but how do you FEEL about it" approach or, worse yet, "it's how you were raised." The latter two approaches were not only harmful but they created a lack of responsibility (or any positive response).

I also found out that one therapist wanted to keep me around ... that talking about any childhood issues was not the real reason. It was absolutely no help. In fact, I was worse for it.

 

Re: does therapy actually make you worse » GeneLady

Posted by deerock on July 20, 2009, at 5:00:58

In reply to Re: does therapy actually make you worse, posted by GeneLady on July 19, 2009, at 23:18:29

What is the therapy this person is doing now? You referred to it as a new therapy.

Thanks.

 

Re: does therapy actually make you worse  » deerock

Posted by GeneLady on July 20, 2009, at 10:21:19

In reply to Re: does therapy actually make you worse » GeneLady, posted by deerock on July 20, 2009, at 5:00:58

When I said "new" I meant new to the individual. As far as type of therapy, I don't really know. Perhaps cognitive? It seems to be more grounded in thinking through the behavior and learning what's reasonable, what supports relationships, what is selfish, what is irrational or unreasonable. It's also fairly high energy on the part of the psychologist per my observations - the psych is good at pulling this person out of withdrawal. It's working for this person well but one size does not fit all.

> What is the therapy this person is doing now? You referred to it as a new therapy.
>
> Thanks.
>
>


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