Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 905395

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Just saying Hi

Posted by LadyBug on July 7, 2009, at 0:19:47

I do drop by and read pretty often even though I've moved past the therapy part of my life...

My T retired in Dec of 08. I wasn't ready for it but I know I would have never terminated our work. I miss her a ton, but I deal with it. I'm sure she doesn't miss me. I was so attached to her.

I have to be honest; I DON'T MISS THE WAY THERAPY RULED MY LIFE. I GAVE HER TOO MUCH POWER AND ALLOWED THERAPY AND OUR RELATIONSHIP TO TAKE UP WAY TOO MUCH OF MY THOUGHTS AND MY ENERGY, I LOVED HER, AND FELT SHE LOVED ME AS WELL. WE SPENT ALMOST 12 YEARS TOGETHER. MOST OF IT WAS PAINFUL BECAUSE OF MY ATTACHMENT TO HER.

In the end it was worth it. I so badly wish I could contact her. I could e-mail but I know she wouldn't respond. A week ago I had bilateral total knee revisions. It brought back many memories of her and our work. She was so supportive when I had the bilateral knee replacements. I miss her and I wanted to tell her what I was going though :o( I terribly miss her support........

LadyBug

 

Re: Just saying Hi

Posted by sassyfrancesca on July 7, 2009, at 10:49:46

In reply to Just saying Hi, posted by LadyBug on July 7, 2009, at 0:19:47

Hey, sweetie ((Ladybug)): How are you? Why do you feel you can't contact your former t to tell her about your surgery?

Hugs n Love, Sassy

 

Re: Just saying Hi

Posted by rskontos on July 7, 2009, at 11:59:37

In reply to Just saying Hi, posted by LadyBug on July 7, 2009, at 0:19:47

Ladybug,

glad you see you checking in. I guess in the end it is a real relationship due to the love/hate to be needy thing. Therapy I mean.

The thing is, no matter how you view the therapuetic relationship, and no matter that it is a paid relationship, we must all remember that we probably have had people in our lives that started out as either a co-worker or say hairdresser, whatever and that person ends up being a friend. A closeness develops through daily contact and in the case of a therapist you tell them such intimate details that it is inevitable you care for someone that listens to you and tries to help regardless if it is a business relationship or not.

I am glad it sounds like you are in a good place. Missing people that have had a place in our lives is a healthy thing.

take care

rsk

 

Re: Just saying Hi LadyBug

Posted by Dinah on July 8, 2009, at 8:16:25

In reply to Just saying Hi, posted by LadyBug on July 7, 2009, at 0:19:47

How are you managing with the surgery? Is your daughter able to help you? I hope that, therapist or no therapist, you feel able to come to babble for support. I know it's not the same, but it's something.

Would she not return an email if you sent one? although I realize that it might be easier to have no contact at all than to have some contact. When my therapist was gone he told me to feel free to contact him, but I found that writing to him and waiting for a reply, or hearing from him even, just stirred up more feelings that had been quiet until then.

Your and therapygirl's situations have been a major focus of my therapy the last couple of sessions. I usually manage to put the realities of the situation out of my mind. But he is going to hurt me some day. And I feel really stupid because I'm paying him all this time to, in the end, be hurt. And have our entire relationship end as if it never was. I told him I'm jealous of his nieces, because he would always be in touch with them, no matter what he did professionally. He said that maybe we could arrange visitation if he ever does stop seeing me. I know he wants to want that. But it never quite works out that way.

I miss you.

 

Re: Just saying Hi Dinah

Posted by LadyBug on July 10, 2009, at 11:00:51

In reply to Re: Just saying Hi LadyBug, posted by Dinah on July 8, 2009, at 8:16:25

I'm hurting a lot today. I slept well so since I can't really move at all while I sleep, I stayed in one position for too many hours.
My thoughts are a bit scattered, but I wanted to reply the best that I can. I've had one low dose pain pill this AM though I know I need more relief so I can move.
At one time a few years ago, my T told me if I needed to contact her after she retired, I could. In the end, we didn't talk about contact other than she said I could send something by letter in the mail to her office as she is required to keep her patient profiles for a certain amount of time. I know she sold her home and moved a few hours away from here. E-mail was pretty much off limits to her and I can't imagine that changing. She's retired, done taking care of her patience. I respect that.
You are so right, it is we, who are devastated by such great loss in the end. It's how the relationship through the works, is setup. "Rent a friend." As soon as we stop paying our rent we lose our friend. Sad but true.
I will write more to you soon, hopefully, when I'm in less pain. I hate pain meds but I can't move without them and I need to move to get better.
I'm here........just not my best as the moment.
I relate to you.......
LadyBug

PS My oldest daughter got married in May. She's so happy! She married a great guy after 6 years of dating. My 18 year old daughter is stuck trying to help me. She resents it! I try to do all I can on my own, but I have limits right now. It's been hard. This is the first time I've had surgery where my husband isn't here to help. He offered to come and stay but he has no resources to help me. No car, no money, no job, and poor health. He ends up being more of a burden than a help. I'm a care taker by personality, so I'd end up taking care of him if he were here.

 

Re: Just saying Hi rskontos

Posted by LadyBug on July 10, 2009, at 11:07:54

In reply to Re: Just saying Hi, posted by rskontos on July 7, 2009, at 11:59:37

Rsk
Thanks for responding! We all lose important people along our journey. We learn from our losses.

More soon, I need to go take some pain meds so I can feel better and more able to move. Though my mind will be confused with more pain relief but I need it right now. Sorry this is short. I'll be back.

LadyBug

 

Re: Just saying Hi sassyfrancesca

Posted by LadyBug on July 10, 2009, at 11:13:08

In reply to Re: Just saying Hi, posted by sassyfrancesca on July 7, 2009, at 10:49:46

Sassy, I just know better than to contact her. If she replied, I'd start missing her all over again. She still means the world to me.
If she didn't reply, that would feel like rejection, one of the big things we worked on.
No good choices.

 

Hi !!!!!!!!! :-) (nm) LadyBug

Posted by muffled on July 15, 2009, at 10:40:02

In reply to Just saying Hi, posted by LadyBug on July 7, 2009, at 0:19:47


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