Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 881398

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Re: Do the people in your life know... » lucie lu

Posted by TherapyGirl on February 20, 2009, at 20:55:18

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know..., posted by lucie lu on February 20, 2009, at 20:54:07

Don't we all? Isn't this the only place we can count on people who have been there, done that?

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » TherapyGirl

Posted by obsidian on February 20, 2009, at 20:57:59

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » lucie lu, posted by TherapyGirl on February 20, 2009, at 20:55:18

yeah, thank god for that. It's such a human thing isn't it? to want to understand people, to be connected, but so scary at the same time.

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » TherapyGirl

Posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 20:58:53

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently, posted by TherapyGirl on February 20, 2009, at 20:29:05

> I'm with you right now, Recently, but I'm probably not the best person to ask (see thread above).
>
> My close friends know, but not other people.
I read your post about your friend, TG. What a terrible situation. People not understanding mental health situations of mine in the past and subsequently have made me pretty shy about the subject.

Recently

 

responses to the medication thing.... » Recently

Posted by obsidian on February 20, 2009, at 21:01:42

In reply to Do the people in your life know..., posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 20:17:15

"oh, you don't need that sid!"

"taking medication isn't the answer"

what responses do you get?

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » lucie lu

Posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 21:02:35

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know..., posted by lucie lu on February 20, 2009, at 20:46:46

> My immediate family knows most things about my history, but then again, we've all been in therapy by now so no surprises. We share a strong family history of depression and other MH issues. A few of my close friends know of my chronic struggles with depression. Some of these friends have others close to them who have struggled with depression, roommates, significant others. Depression is so prevalant.
>
> I absolutely do not tell anyone else unless I have an extremely good reason. Usually this is only if they, or someone close to them, has experienced similar problems. Not everyone needs to know about MH illness, and many people do not want to. There are enough who do, though, so I don't share anything with the rest. I pick my audience, carefully.

Yeah I'm afraid sometimes I pick mine too carefully. I guess as evidenced by the fact that I've only told 2 people. The one non-SO person I have told is someone who had been in therapy too, so I guess there's some kinship there...it definitely is easier to explain if you feel you are talking to someone who 'gets it.' But even then, it sometimes feels too scary...

Recently

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » obsidian

Posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 21:10:01

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently, posted by obsidian on February 20, 2009, at 20:48:58

I come from a family with a long history of MH issues, too. Which is ironic, since after being diagnosed with depression as a very young child they treated all me like a leper.

I am fortunately to be able to discuss things with my SO. There are a few others I sometimes feel like telling, mostly after I do something terribly socially awkward as a result of my depression and social anxiety. That's how I ended up telling the one other person knows. But I guess I'll always be afraid of garnering the same same 'freakshow' reputation I got from my family....

Recently

 

Re: responses to the medication thing....

Posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 21:18:24

In reply to responses to the medication thing.... » Recently, posted by obsidian on February 20, 2009, at 21:01:42

> "oh, you don't need that sid!"
>
> "taking medication isn't the answer"
>
> what responses do you get?

Classic responses! Well in my case, when I was on meds, I only told 2 people - one was supportive and the other just went kind of bug-eyed and weird. The unfortunate part was that the medication caused me such severe side effects I had to go to the hospital! So then, when everyone was wondering why the hell I was in the hospital, I had to say that I had a bad response to some prescription 'headache' medicine....

Recently

 

Re: Do the people in your life know...

Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2009, at 22:01:41

In reply to Do the people in your life know..., posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 20:17:15

I'm pretty open and matter of fact about it. And I'm always delighted to run across others who say things like "My therapist says..." or "Mmmm... love those AD's."

I get some negative remarks from some, but over time people give up making them. And it's a lot easier not to have to worry about what I say.

Besides, the fact that I'm prone to anxiety and that I'm a bit odd really can't be hidden.

 

Re: Do the people in your life know...

Posted by AMF on February 20, 2009, at 23:14:56

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently, posted by obsidian on February 20, 2009, at 20:48:58

My husband is the only person that knows I'm in therapy. I have grown children, close friends, and family that would be shocked that I have been in therapy 2x week for several years. Many of them would be supportive but I just don't want to deal with them or their comments. If I thought they had much to offer I would include them but they would just be uncomfortable...then I end up taking care of them and their feelings.

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently

Posted by wittgensteinz on February 21, 2009, at 4:46:52

In reply to Do the people in your life know..., posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 20:17:15

It's hard to be so alone with something so big.

My SO knows everything. I make sure my parents know as little as possible. They don't know I'm in therapy, taking meds, attempted suicide a second time (they did know about the first time because I was a student in my home-country at the time, so, to my dismay, they were contacted). I've had to think about the possibility that if I would die from this, they would then obviously find out some of the truth and I know they would give my SO hell.

Given how intrusive and controlling my mother is, it's in my best interests they don't know. As for others in my life - a small few know some details - actually interestly a couple of friends of my SO. Him telling them wasn't so bad and they have been very kind - one of his friends saved my life, so I'm grateful she knows. As for my own friends - NO - I wouldn't know how to bring it up and IRL I'm quite a private person, so it would be out of place for me to talk about something so personal. The weird thing is that I know far more about them than they know about me, and they never seem to notice/mind. I don't like having to lie about things to my friends though in order to cover up my 'secret' - I suppose that's why I shy away from probing questions about what exactly I do each day, what I was doing the last year - my answer is at best ominously empty.

Maybe I wish that I had an IRL 'therapy-buddy' (sorry for the corny expression) - someone who just 'knew' and could relate on a personal level.

Witti

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently

Posted by seldomseen on February 21, 2009, at 8:12:03

In reply to Do the people in your life know..., posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 20:17:15

I'm pretty open about being in therapy. Of course my friends are pretty "progessive". In fact, the area in which I live and work is pretty progressive and I consider myself lucky.

My department chair knows I'm in therapy, but I've known her for close to 15 years. In fact, she has approached me for names of therapists in the area when she has someone in the department who is clearly acting out. I could choose to be offended by that, but - whatever helps us all get along and reduce stress.

As far as drugs, well, I work in a medical field. In my experience, outside of the surgeons, it's not that uncommon to be on psychotropic meds.

Very few of my friends are on these drugs, but, let me tell you, they need to be. Oh lord, do they need to be.

Seldom

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently

Posted by raisinb on February 21, 2009, at 10:07:51

In reply to Do the people in your life know..., posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 20:17:15

Oh, yeah, they know, and their positive responses showed how much they cared. I've really been blessed with my friends in that regard.

This is going to sound like a terrible cliche. But first and foremost, you must accept yourself, warts and all. Once that really happens, others' responses won't matter as much.

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » raisinb

Posted by TherapyGirl on February 21, 2009, at 10:17:06

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently, posted by raisinb on February 21, 2009, at 10:07:51

<<But first and foremost, you must accept yourself, warts and all. Once that really happens, others' responses won't matter as much. >>

I'm going to have this tattooed on my chest so that I can be constantly reminded of it, Raisin.

(Sorry to interrupt your thread, Recently.)

 

I need it too--I'll go with you to the parlor :) (nm) » TherapyGirl

Posted by raisinb on February 21, 2009, at 12:51:15

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » raisinb, posted by TherapyGirl on February 21, 2009, at 10:17:06

 

a quote I like

Posted by raisinb on February 21, 2009, at 14:00:29

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently, posted by raisinb on February 21, 2009, at 10:07:51

From Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance":

"There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried. Not for nothing one face, one character, one fact makes much impression on him, and another none. This sculpture in the memory is not without preéstablished harmony. The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray."

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » Dinah

Posted by Recently on February 21, 2009, at 14:01:04

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know..., posted by Dinah on February 20, 2009, at 22:01:41

> I'm pretty open and matter of fact about it. And I'm always delighted to run across others who say things like "My therapist says..." or "Mmmm... love those AD's."
>
> I get some negative remarks from some, but over time people give up making them. And it's a lot easier not to have to worry about what I say.
>
> Besides, the fact that I'm prone to anxiety and that I'm a bit odd really can't be hidden.

I admire your ability to be open and honest! I wish I had some of that confidence myself. Sometimes I think the real me is too weird to totally subsume under my veil of normalcy, so more people probably know than I think....

Recently

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » AMF

Posted by Recently on February 21, 2009, at 14:02:24

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know..., posted by AMF on February 20, 2009, at 23:14:56

> My husband is the only person that knows I'm in therapy. I have grown children, close friends, and family that would be shocked that I have been in therapy 2x week for several years. Many of them would be supportive but I just don't want to deal with them or their comments. If I thought they had much to offer I would include them but they would just be uncomfortable...then I end up taking care of them and their feelings.

Dealing with the comments is my fear too...just adding to the worry does not seem like a welcome change!

Recently

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » wittgensteinz

Posted by Recently on February 21, 2009, at 14:12:39

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently, posted by wittgensteinz on February 21, 2009, at 4:46:52

> It's hard to be so alone with something so big.
>
> My SO knows everything. I make sure my parents know as little as possible. They don't know I'm in therapy, taking meds, attempted suicide a second time (they did know about the first time because I was a student in my home-country at the time, so, to my dismay, they were contacted). I've had to think about the possibility that if I would die from this, they would then obviously find out some of the truth and I know they would give my SO hell.
>
> Given how intrusive and controlling my mother is, it's in my best interests they don't know. As for others in my life - a small few know some details - actually interestly a couple of friends of my SO. Him telling them wasn't so bad and they have been very kind - one of his friends saved my life, so I'm grateful she knows. As for my own friends - NO - I wouldn't know how to bring it up and IRL I'm quite a private person, so it would be out of place for me to talk about something so personal. The weird thing is that I know far more about them than they know about me, and they never seem to notice/mind. I don't like having to lie about things to my friends though in order to cover up my 'secret' - I suppose that's why I shy away from probing questions about what exactly I do each day, what I was doing the last year - my answer is at best ominously empty.
>
> Maybe I wish that I had an IRL 'therapy-buddy' (sorry for the corny expression) - someone who just 'knew' and could relate on a personal level.
>
> Witti
>

It is hard to feel alone. I'm glad you are able to tell your SO. If I were not able to talk to mine I don't know what I would do. The relationship I have with my friends is similar - they know nothing about my personal life. I wonder sometimes if they would ever care to know more. I don't think they would, in the end.

I guess having a therapy buddy is what I would hope for sometimes, too. It's hard to explain therapy to a non-goer. But I guess that's what Babble is for. :-)

Recently

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » seldomseen

Posted by Recently on February 21, 2009, at 14:14:58

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently, posted by seldomseen on February 21, 2009, at 8:12:03

> I'm pretty open about being in therapy. Of course my friends are pretty "progessive". In fact, the area in which I live and work is pretty progressive and I consider myself lucky.
>
> My department chair knows I'm in therapy, but I've known her for close to 15 years. In fact, she has approached me for names of therapists in the area when she has someone in the department who is clearly acting out. I could choose to be offended by that, but - whatever helps us all get along and reduce stress.
>
> As far as drugs, well, I work in a medical field. In my experience, outside of the surgeons, it's not that uncommon to be on psychotropic meds.
>
> Very few of my friends are on these drugs, but, let me tell you, they need to be. Oh lord, do they need to be.
>
> Seldom

I admire your openness. I guess my geographical area is decently progressive, but I've never heard many people talk about mental health issues. I get the feeling sometimes that there are probably others around me and in my workplace dealing with similar issues, but the topic is never broached.

Recently

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » raisinb

Posted by Recently on February 21, 2009, at 14:21:04

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently, posted by raisinb on February 21, 2009, at 10:07:51

> Oh, yeah, they know, and their positive responses showed how much they cared. I've really been blessed with my friends in that regard.
>
> This is going to sound like a terrible cliche. But first and foremost, you must accept yourself, warts and all. Once that really happens, others' responses won't matter as much.

Self Acceptance. That's my million dollar problem. I think I need to get the tattoo, too, TG.

Recently

 

Re: Do the people in your life know...

Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2009, at 16:51:01

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently, posted by seldomseen on February 21, 2009, at 8:12:03

> Very few of my friends are on these drugs, but, let me tell you, they need to be. Oh lord, do they need to be.

:)

This is my thought *precisely*.

(My mother's church is trying to convince her to see a psychiatrist, and I think they just may succeed.)

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » Recently

Posted by Poet on February 22, 2009, at 14:30:13

In reply to Do the people in your life know..., posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 20:17:15

Hi Recently,

My husband and two friends know. My parents, brother and sister do not and never will even though my brother certainly contributed to messing me up emotionally.

I am not ashamed to be in therapy or on meds I just don't think anyone else needs to know.

Poet

 

Re: Do the people in your life know...

Posted by nellie7 on February 23, 2009, at 12:39:21

In reply to Do the people in your life know..., posted by Recently on February 20, 2009, at 20:17:15

I suffer from schizophrenia and no one else knows. They think I'm just "shy". I am afraid my family won't be able to handle the knowledge. Or that they will doubt everything I say due to my being delusonal. I feel horribly alone.

 

Re: Do the people in your life know... » nellie7

Posted by antigua3 on February 24, 2009, at 11:23:41

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know..., posted by nellie7 on February 23, 2009, at 12:39:21

You aren't alone here. So feel free to jump in, although you readily admit you're shy. You'll find all types here!
antigua

 

Thanks, antigua. (nm)

Posted by nellie7 on February 24, 2009, at 11:30:38

In reply to Re: Do the people in your life know... » nellie7, posted by antigua3 on February 24, 2009, at 11:23:41


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