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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pegboy40 on January 7, 2009, at 17:24:05
I think my therapist is wonderful, he's a great guy, but can he grate on my nerves. He gets up and down constantly, checking his messages, preparing food and this and that. He eats in front of me when he knows I have no money (or food). This is literally right after I tell him I'm out of cash and food. It pisses me off, but I have major problems saying no or standing up for myself. I avoid confrontation. What can I do?
Thanks,
Chris
Posted by Dinah on January 7, 2009, at 19:11:27
In reply to My therapist, posted by pegboy40 on January 7, 2009, at 17:24:05
I think it's possible to mention it nonconfrontationally. Have you tried saying something like "I'm having trouble concentrating when you check your messages. I don't feel like I have your full attention." or "Mmmm... That smells good. Would you mind sharing?"
Is your relationship with him generally good? It's not really typical for a therapist to do those things.
Posted by Sigismund on January 7, 2009, at 20:10:36
In reply to My therapist, posted by pegboy40 on January 7, 2009, at 17:24:05
>He eats in front of me when he knows I have no money (or food). This is literally right after I tell him I'm out of cash and food. It pisses me off, but I have major problems saying no or standing up for myself.
He's not being sensitive.
Posted by Annierose on January 7, 2009, at 20:48:50
In reply to My therapist, posted by pegboy40 on January 7, 2009, at 17:24:05
I'm sorry that your therapist is using your session time for his personal needs. I think Dinah gave you a great way to approach the subject in a non-confrontive manner. I would be shocked if my t ever did any of those things during MY TIME.
Posted by Little Soul on January 7, 2009, at 22:48:12
In reply to Re: My therapist, posted by Annierose on January 7, 2009, at 20:48:50
That's too bad that the time you have with your t is distracting. I must admit this is the first time I've heard of a t eating in front of a client. I agree with sigismund that his "self-awareness" seems off.
In addition to Dinah's suggestions you might try writing your observations or feelings in a letter and give that to him to read during your session. I've done that before and it seems to help get out the tough stuff in kind of a safe way.
I hope you are able to work with him to help him see the impact his behavior has on you. You didn't mention how long you've been seeing him or if you'd be willing to try another t. In any case good luck and let us know how things go.
Little Soul
Posted by Sigismund on January 10, 2009, at 20:55:02
In reply to Re: My therapist, posted by Sigismund on January 7, 2009, at 20:10:36
>This is literally right after I tell him I'm out of cash and food.
That is so insensitive of him.
It makes me wonder if I have missed something.
Posted by pegboy40 on January 10, 2009, at 21:44:42
In reply to Re: My therapist, posted by Sigismund on January 10, 2009, at 20:55:02
Thanks guys for your thoughts and comments. This Tuesday I'll have to tell him all this. I also have to tell him that I'm going into a partial hospitalization on friday for about eight weeks..
ugh!
Posted by Sigismund on January 11, 2009, at 18:47:37
In reply to Re: My therapist, posted by pegboy40 on January 10, 2009, at 21:44:42
He should bloody well have offered to share his food with you, if he was going to eat in front of you and you do not have enough money for it.
Posted by LibraryGirl on January 22, 2009, at 9:56:00
In reply to My therapist, posted by pegboy40 on January 7, 2009, at 17:24:05
Has he always done this or is this a new behavior? I've been seeing my new T for a few months now, and she does the same things. She has eaten her lunch during sessions (and she knows I have anorexia, so it's weird), she brings her dog to the office so sometimes she feeds her or gets up to let her out while we talk, she adjusts the heat, lights candles, etc. I feel like she can concentrate while doing those things, I think that's just how she operates, and I guess I'm a little used to it now b/c she's been consistent about it since the beginning, but it does bug me sometimes I'll admit. I hope you can talk to your T about it and let us know what happened (and good luck going IP).> I think my therapist is wonderful, he's a great guy, but can he grate on my nerves. He gets up and down constantly, checking his messages, preparing food and this and that. He eats in front of me when he knows I have no money (or food). This is literally right after I tell him I'm out of cash and food. It pisses me off, but I have major problems saying no or standing up for myself. I avoid confrontation. What can I do?
> Thanks,
> Chris
This is the end of the thread.
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