Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 829781

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I saw my old T today

Posted by Happyflower on May 18, 2008, at 11:46:49

I think I still have issues with him unresolved. We both exchanged hellos. But now I am feeling depressed about him. I miss him, talking to him. I hate that he still his this hold on me. :-(

 

Re: I saw my old T today

Posted by LadyBug on May 18, 2008, at 14:30:35

In reply to I saw my old T today, posted by Happyflower on May 18, 2008, at 11:46:49

That is sad Happyflower. I'm afraid something like that is going to happen to me. I'm in a difficult situation with my T and I'm not sure where to take it.

I'm mad at your T for what he said to you at the end. That was cruel.

My T said something hurtful to me too and I don't know if I can tell her anything ever again. I need closure but I don't think she cares. It hurts huh.
I'm glad things are going ok with your current T. It helps, I won't ever do therapy again.
I'm bitter.

 

Re: I saw my old T today Happyflower

Posted by Dinah on May 18, 2008, at 16:32:56

In reply to I saw my old T today, posted by Happyflower on May 18, 2008, at 11:46:49

I don't think love releases its hold so quickly. And isn't that a good thing, overall, even if it hurts right now? It says something positive about your ability to care and to hold on to that caring even in the face of hurt.

You did what you needed to do, and moved on to a more healthy relationship. And you did it despite still caring about your old therapist. That's a *good* thing.

 

Re: I saw my old T today LadyBug

Posted by Dinah on May 18, 2008, at 16:34:02

In reply to Re: I saw my old T today, posted by LadyBug on May 18, 2008, at 14:30:35

I'm so sorry, Ladybug. I really don't understand your therapist at all. She was so caring for so long.

 

Re: I saw my old T today LadyBug

Posted by Happyflower on May 18, 2008, at 17:11:07

In reply to Re: I saw my old T today, posted by LadyBug on May 18, 2008, at 14:30:35

Thanks Ladybug,

I know you are hurting too. I even had some closure, but it still stings I guess. I guess what is so hard is the conflicting emotions I have for him. I adore him but yet I am still angry I think because he hurt me.

Please don't give up on therapy though, I found a good T now, and in a way he saved me. I told him that he renewed my faith in therapy because I was so negative about it when all this happened to me. I felt like you, I wasn't going to go through this again.
I remember early on with my new T, during an intense session where we were doing EMDR on my feelings of my old T. I yelled at him at one point, saying HOW can I EVER trust you either??? He said if I look at our relationship, he was very different than what I had before, but he still needed to get that trust from me again. It was a long road, and now I am thrilled about my T.

 

Re: I saw my old T today Dinah

Posted by Happyflower on May 18, 2008, at 17:18:55

In reply to Re: I saw my old T today Happyflower, posted by Dinah on May 18, 2008, at 16:32:56

Thanks Dinah,

It is true, I still love him, and the reason why I don't want to now is because he hurt me very deeply. If that didn't happen, maybe things would have been okay. But I told my T this week that there were red flags very much before I quit and that I should of quit therapy a long time before I did, but I was attached.

It seems like my new T is trying to get me to say or to the point that I wouldn't have gotten to the point with him(new T) without what happened with my old T. And he says I have learned so much about boundaries and etc. of what not to do when I am a therapist. But I tell him I would have rather of learned from a book on this one.

I feel so conflicted, I want to hug him and stop on his foot at the same time. But what is hard to admit even now, my heart still flutters when I see him, even if I want to stomp on his foot. I want to hate him but I can't. I still look for him at the gym and feel disappointed when he isn't there. But yet when I do see him I have an attitude of trying to ignore him. I guess I want him to feel some hurt too.

 

Re: I saw my old T today Happyflower

Posted by raisinb on May 19, 2008, at 11:00:48

In reply to I saw my old T today, posted by Happyflower on May 18, 2008, at 11:46:49

Happyflower, I really identify with your conflicting feelings about your T. You expressed them so well.

It's understandable that you would still feel intense emotions for him. It hasn't been that long since you left, and long-term therapy is a profound relationship. Is there any way you can avoid seeing him at the gym? That sounds like it sucks.

 

Re: I saw my old T today

Posted by sassyfrancesca on May 22, 2008, at 8:54:27

In reply to I saw my old T today, posted by Happyflower on May 18, 2008, at 11:46:49

Hey, sweetie: I am not surprised. E-mail me; i will tell you what happened last Sunday night (the continuing saga, LOL)

You won't believe it.

Love, yer crazy-twin...Ally


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