Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 818046

Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain

Posted by Idiot Girl on March 15, 2008, at 2:13:07

I'm old enough to not get into a situation like this, but I have found myself in the ridiculous situation that I feel as though I've fallen in love with my pdoc. I forced myself to tell him tonight at my appt, knowing that I will no longer see him. It hurts so much. I haven't felt this type of pain since I was a child/young teen. Please help. I don't ever ask for help. I can't believe this has happened. It's as if I were transformed into a 14-year-old, again. I'm a married woman with three young children, for Christs' sake!!!

I know I will get over this, but it is so hard.

 

Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » Idiot Girl

Posted by Sigismund on March 15, 2008, at 3:10:20

In reply to Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain, posted by Idiot Girl on March 15, 2008, at 2:13:07

>I forced myself to tell him tonight at my appt, knowing that I will no longer see him.

So that's your decision about it?

Or your assumption of how he will deal with it?

When someone loves another it is as much a reflection on them as it is on the loved person, but that doesn't make it one bit less painfull.

 

Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » Idiot Girl

Posted by seldomseen on March 15, 2008, at 6:59:29

In reply to Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain, posted by Idiot Girl on March 15, 2008, at 2:13:07

I'm sorry you are hurting. This happens a lot and you are not alone in your feelings for your pdoc.

I don't understand. You quit last night after you told him?

If I am right how did he react to you telling him?

Seldom

 

Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » seldomseen

Posted by fayeroe on March 15, 2008, at 12:03:46

In reply to Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » Idiot Girl, posted by seldomseen on March 15, 2008, at 6:59:29

don't beat yourself up. this happens fairly often. i fell for the first Pdoc that i had. i saw him for 5 years but we never talked about it. i am positive he knew about my feelings though.

again, do not beat yourself up. you're a good person and sometimes our emotions take us over......nothing to be ashamed of.
xoxoxo pat

 

Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain

Posted by Phillipa on March 15, 2008, at 12:36:11

In reply to Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » seldomseen, posted by fayeroe on March 15, 2008, at 12:03:46

My first pdoc too Daddy figure. Love Phillipa

 

Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » Sigismund

Posted by Idiot Girl on March 15, 2008, at 14:06:13

In reply to Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » Idiot Girl, posted by Sigismund on March 15, 2008, at 3:10:20

Yes, I knew that if I were to tell him how I felt (I said I was just so attracted to him, I know this isn't love because how can you love someone you don't know) one of two things would happen - 1. He would react the way he did - saying he was in a serious relationship and then saying that it was not uncommon for people to see their doctors as a father figure (this is NOT the case, incidentally) or 2. He would say the feelings were mutual, I would no longer be a patient, and the two of us would embark on some intense affair - HA. Either way, continuing as a patient didn't feel comfortable to me. And I said that I was relieved to tell him because now I could just get on with my life, so to speak. I knew if I didn't, I would just continue to see him because of that reason and would find myself flirting with him. No fun.

Thank you so much for responding.

 

Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » seldomseen

Posted by Idiot Girl on March 15, 2008, at 14:10:40

In reply to Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » Idiot Girl, posted by seldomseen on March 15, 2008, at 6:59:29

Thanks for responding. His reaction was subtle. He just said he was in a serious relationship and then went on to talk about how this is common and how patients look for a father figure, etc. I could tell it made him nervous, because he had been in the middle of typing something and then couldn't focus on anything. Honestly, I think my not seeing him again is a relief to him after what I said. The thing is, and someone else posted words to this affect, that I seem to have a built-in failsafe where I don't find myself attracted to someone unless I think there's a good likelihood the feeling is/could be mutual. He at one point said some things to lead me to believe he was interested in me.

 

Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » fayeroe

Posted by Idiot Girl on March 15, 2008, at 14:12:05

In reply to Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » seldomseen, posted by fayeroe on March 15, 2008, at 12:03:46

Thank you, Pat :) Unfortunately, I've seen a pdoc for over 15 years, on and off, and something like this has never happened before. Oh, well.

 

Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » Idiot Girl

Posted by Sigismund on March 15, 2008, at 17:31:10

In reply to Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » Sigismund, posted by Idiot Girl on March 15, 2008, at 14:06:13

>how can you love someone you don't know?

Because we are creatures of love.

If there were no people we would fall in love with whatever was around.

Maybe then we would call it religion.

 

Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain

Posted by sassyfrancesca on March 17, 2008, at 12:22:05

In reply to Re: Please Help - I'm in So Much Pain » Idiot Girl, posted by Sigismund on March 15, 2008, at 17:31:10

I wish I had some wise advise. I fell in love with my t five years ago. I told him that I would rather be in pain WITH him, than in pain withOUT him. We have had many deep discussions about this.

Problem is, he has feelings for me, also....and he struggles with them (and takes me along for the wild ride).

Love....is love; we cannot make it disappear.....I am single (after 31 years of abuse), and being alone is excruciating for me; add that to loving someone I cannot have (he is married).....but still....I love him. We are alike in over 30 different ways; it is so amazing.

I could write a book on what has transpired between us (no, no sex); I have given him a preview of what I would like to happen between us.

I am sorry I don't have any answers; there aren't any. Feelings are facts, they aren't right or wrong, they just....are.

How much have you told him? Will he discuss it with you?

Love, Alice

P.S. I do know my t (a lot); as he said: "I bent the boundaries, and allowed you to "see" me...it would have been better if he hadn't; I would have realized my feelings were mine, and lived with it, but unfortunately, he let me know he had feelings for me also, and it is a terrible struggle to not act on my feelings...

Also...a miracle that I haven't in view of the fact he has led me on, teased me, etc., etc...we are both attending a convention in Hawaii next week.

I am sorry for your pain and misery. i certainly resonate, sweetie.


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.