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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on March 8, 2008, at 12:07:14
In an email. Here is what i wrote:
I need to cancel Monday's session, and I have to tell you that I'm not sure it's a good idea for me to come back. Last week's session left me feeling very unsafe with you. I don't feel strong enough to handle therapy drama on top of all my real-life drama right now--I hope you understand.
If you wish to speak by phone, we could set something up. Otherwise, for now, let's consider ourselves on hiatus. I just need time to sort through my feelings and try to figure out what's best for me right now.
Posted by crushedout on March 8, 2008, at 12:33:28
In reply to I cancelled Monday's session, posted by crushedout on March 8, 2008, at 12:07:14
my aunt almost died last week. then this week my t went off on me. i switched meds (i think this is a good thing tho'). one of my closest friends then went off on me. my new boss said i was inefficient (which is the one thing i'm not) so i quit (also a good thing--it was not working out and i got out early and i don't need a job). then i dumped my T. i also told my friend where to go.
it seems like i like to consolidate all my pain sometimes. like last time i dumped a t was right after my cat died.
but there is good news in all this: my aunt came out of the coma and she is recovering. she basically fought a zero percent chance of survival, was in a coma for a little over a week, and now she's back with us, still in the hospital of course.
this puts so much into perspective for me. i am so grateful just for her mere existence. i also think my new meds are working. i think this could be an important turning point in my life. but geez. a lot to handle in one week.
thanks for listening to me go on and on about all of it.
Posted by Phillipa on March 8, 2008, at 12:55:43
In reply to when it rains it sure does freakin pour, posted by crushedout on March 8, 2008, at 12:33:28
Wow yes a lot in a week great your Aunt is better and your new meds are working better. Love Phillipa
Posted by crushedout on March 8, 2008, at 12:57:13
In reply to Re: when it rains it sure does freakin pour » crushedout, posted by Phillipa on March 8, 2008, at 12:55:43
Posted by seldomseen on March 8, 2008, at 14:54:51
In reply to I cancelled Monday's session, posted by crushedout on March 8, 2008, at 12:07:14
what do you think her response will be to your quitting therapy?
Seldom
Posted by crushedout on March 8, 2008, at 21:22:32
In reply to Re: I cancelled Monday's session » crushedout, posted by seldomseen on March 8, 2008, at 14:54:51
> what do you think her response will be to your quitting therapy?
>
> Seldomi honestly don't know. she may be relieved.
Posted by crushedout on March 8, 2008, at 21:23:46
In reply to Re: I cancelled Monday's session » crushedout, posted by seldomseen on March 8, 2008, at 14:54:51
i think she'll probably ask that i come in. and i am open to it, just not sure i can do it as soon as Monday.
Posted by crushedout on March 9, 2008, at 13:59:03
In reply to Re: I cancelled Monday's session » seldomseen, posted by crushedout on March 8, 2008, at 21:23:46
this does hurt. i think the hardest part is the disillusionment i feel. i thought my t and i had something--like that i mattered to her and that she cared about me as a therapist, and this makes me think all of it was in my head. wishful thinking, really.she broke my trust. i don't know if i'm "overreacting."
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on March 9, 2008, at 14:41:26
In reply to ouch, though, posted by crushedout on March 9, 2008, at 13:59:03
>
> this does hurt. i think the hardest part is the disillusionment i feel. i thought my t and i had something--like that i mattered to her and that she cared about me as a therapist, and this makes me think all of it was in my head. wishful thinking, really.
>
> she broke my trust. i don't know if i'm "overreacting."(I can only think of one way to know if you're overreacting-- that would be to talk to her)
crushedout, so sorry that your life has turned you topsyturvy this week. Stay strong. stay safe. use babble as needed.-Ll
Posted by crushedout on March 9, 2008, at 14:43:23
In reply to Re: ouch, though, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on March 9, 2008, at 14:41:26
thanks ln.
but i don't trust her. how do you talk to someone you don't trust? (i guess i don't really expect an answer--rhetorical question?)
Posted by Abby Cunningham on March 9, 2008, at 22:21:36
In reply to ouch, though, posted by crushedout on March 9, 2008, at 13:59:03
>
> this does hurt. i think the hardest part is the disillusionment i feel. i thought my t and i had something--like that i mattered to her and that she cared about me as a therapist, and this makes me think all of it was in my head. wishful thinking, really.
>
> she broke my trust. i don't know if i'm "overreacting."Crushedout, I don't think you are overreacting at all. I had the exact same feelings you have - that I mattered to her and she cared about me as a therapist. She told me she cared and she also said I was a good person & another time said she respected me.
I hope your situation with your T turns out better than mine. I feel ready to move on though and have lots of support from friends and family.
Best,
Abby
Posted by crushedout on March 9, 2008, at 22:58:12
In reply to Re: ouch, though » crushedout, posted by Abby Cunningham on March 9, 2008, at 22:21:36
No apology. Just urged me to come in so we could sort out "this misunderstanding." I am so furious. I guess I will go in and get it off my chest. It will give me closure if nothing else. But I am going in armed with no expectation of an apology. No. I can't do it. I expect an apology and I will be devastated (literally) if I do not get one.But either way, I think I should plan on tomorrow being our last session. :(
This is very painful and awful but I'll get through it.
Posted by crushedout on March 10, 2008, at 0:18:08
In reply to She called, posted by crushedout on March 9, 2008, at 22:58:12
Does anyone have suggestions of how I should approach this session tomorrow? I think it is going to be incredibly difficult. I feel like I need to harden my heart for it--how does one harden one's heart in less than 14 hours? Please help.Tell me what to say even. What to expect. How to get through it.
If you have any thoughts.
Posted by annierose on March 10, 2008, at 5:17:00
In reply to What should I say?, posted by crushedout on March 10, 2008, at 0:18:08
Remember to talk about your feelings --- how hurt and disappointed you felt.
Use "I" statements.
Posted by seldomseen on March 10, 2008, at 7:53:11
In reply to What should I say?, posted by crushedout on March 10, 2008, at 0:18:08
I would definately want to know what caused her to change her mind in the week prior to the hurtful session.
Also, though it may be difficult through all the hurt, I would try not to harden my heart and listen to what she has to say.
I'm a lot like you I think. When I get hurt, I tend to bolt and that's not always the best approach. See how you feel when you're there, but be very clear that what she did hurt you.
Seldom.
Posted by Abby Cunningham on March 10, 2008, at 12:40:27
In reply to She called, posted by crushedout on March 9, 2008, at 22:58:12
After my experience, being taken by surprise and terminated before I could take a deep breath, at least your T wants to talk.
I would listen to what she has to say, try not to harden your heart too much but I understand the desire to not get hurt any more! At least she is willing to talk about it. No one can tell you exactly what to say because it depends on what she says. If she apologizes, well think about what you will say do (in advance). My heart goes out to you. I am still hurting some but have ups and downs. You will get through this and if it is ending, you will find another T who is better suited to you, I am sure.
>
> No apology. Just urged me to come in so we could sort out "this misunderstanding." I am so furious. I guess I will go in and get it off my chest. It will give me closure if nothing else. But I am going in armed with no expectation of an apology. No. I can't do it. I expect an apology and I will be devastated (literally) if I do not get one.
>
> But either way, I think I should plan on tomorrow being our last session. :(
>
> This is very painful and awful but I'll get through it.
Posted by crushedout on March 10, 2008, at 14:23:02
In reply to Re: She called, posted by Abby Cunningham on March 10, 2008, at 12:40:27
good advice all of it. keep it coming (i have another 40 min. before i have to leave). i just woke up. i guess i didn't want to spent the day dreading it. now i don't have time to dread so much.i do think i'll write down points i want to make on my way there. i'm afraid my emotions will take over and i won't be able to think straight.
thanks to all of you for listening, supporting, giving me your thoughts.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on March 10, 2008, at 14:58:43
In reply to I cancelled Monday's session, posted by crushedout on March 8, 2008, at 12:07:14
i would suggest writing everything down; that way you can focus on what you want to say; not get distracted or upset by anything she says.
All you can do is be honest.
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2008, at 17:45:17
In reply to Re: I cancelled Monday's session, posted by sassyfrancesca on March 10, 2008, at 14:58:43
Well how did it go did she apologize mine never would. Phillipa
Posted by crushedout on March 10, 2008, at 21:32:48
In reply to Re: Do you have an update? » sassyfrancesca, posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2008, at 17:45:17
she did apologize but it was sort of lame and i told her so. i think i am a tough customer. she didn't apologize as wholeheartedly as i wanted her to.i need to give a fuller update but right now all i can do is veg.
Posted by Phillipa on March 10, 2008, at 21:45:36
In reply to update » Phillipa, posted by crushedout on March 10, 2008, at 21:32:48
OOPs I do that all the time forget to change the subject sorry crusheout it was for you. When you're ready and recover will be here. Apologies again. Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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