Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 815643

Shown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

What to do w/T that falls asleep

Posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 22:47:18

My T sometimes doses off when I'm talking. I cannot possibly be that boring. I know that he has some serious health issues although they are mostly not brought up. I'm trying to figure out what to do.

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep

Posted by Cecilia on March 2, 2008, at 1:29:21

In reply to What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 22:47:18

Get a whistle and blow it loudly the next time he dozes off. And then tell him you're not going to pay him for any session he falls asleep in. Cecilia

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Cecilia

Posted by nfc on March 2, 2008, at 2:51:28

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Cecilia on March 2, 2008, at 1:29:21

next time he dozes off, WHACK HIM! Kick his okole! nah jk

maybe he's narcoleptic like the guy in the movie Rat Race.

on a more serious note if u can, get another T.

nfc

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep

Posted by annierose on March 2, 2008, at 6:31:15

In reply to What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 22:47:18

I think you do need to bring it up. Something must be said. This is unacceptable. I know it will be a hard thing to do, but it's his job to be present for you.

You can say something like, "I've notice during the last few sessions your eyes are closed. It feels really awkward during those moments." And then say nothing. Wait for him to explain and solve his own problem.

Good Luck.

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Lonely

Posted by seldomseen on March 2, 2008, at 9:00:42

In reply to What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 22:47:18

I agree with the other posters that this behaviour is more than a little unacceptable.

I would start looking for another therapist AND talk to him about it.

I tend to be a little passive aggressive sometimes, and would suggest to him that you only pay him for the amount of time that he is awake during your therapy session.

That would send a very clear message, although, would probably not be the most healthy way to handle the situation. ;)

Seldom.

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Lonely

Posted by rskontos on March 2, 2008, at 9:25:28

In reply to What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 22:47:18

Mine has never fallen asleep. He gets drowsy. I did ask him about it in an email. I couldn't do the face to face thing. To confrontational for me this early in the game of therapy. He told me he had a condition and was getting treated for it, but that in essence it made him not sleep so well and right after he ate he fought being sleepy. So I find I will change the subject. Switch to something else and usually that will get him more involved. Now should I have to do this no, but he is good at what he does and I decided I would have patience with him as he told me what was up. I am sure that wasn't too easy either. Just a different point of view.

rsk

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep

Posted by raisinb on March 2, 2008, at 10:30:10

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Lonely, posted by rskontos on March 2, 2008, at 9:25:28

I agree that it's unacceptable, and difficult to deal with. I'd feel very rejected.

However, you should remember that it's not your fault--it doesn't mean *you* are boring, but that he's not taking care of himself in the way he should (easier said than done, sometimes, I know).

As for what to do, I'd throw a fit. I'd yell and rage and tell him exactly how bad and rejecting it felt to me when he fell asleep. Perhaps that's not the healthiest way to handle things ;) but...at least bring it up.

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Lonely

Posted by Poet on March 2, 2008, at 10:42:30

In reply to What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 22:47:18

Hi Lonely,

I think you definitely need to let your T know that his falling asleep is not condusive to your therapy. Maybe after he wakes up from one of his naps, say "it's time to talk about your falling asleep?" or the Poet coward's way out which would be to stick a post it note on him saying "call me when you wake up" and quietly leave. Even if he has a bonified health issue, I think falling asleep during a session is unexecusable.

Poet

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Poet

Posted by annierose on March 2, 2008, at 12:13:24

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Lonely, posted by Poet on March 2, 2008, at 10:42:30

Poet - I love that idea! I don't think its cowardly. It's to the point.

I have never felt my t show signs of sleepiness. She always feels engaged in the room with me. But if she does, I'll remember the post-it note idea.

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep/lonely » Poet

Posted by rskontos on March 2, 2008, at 17:05:13

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Lonely, posted by Poet on March 2, 2008, at 10:42:30

I just got a mental picture of the post it on him, and laughed. I would love to see a picture of that. Now like I said mine has never fallen asleep and I would be stunned if he did. If mine does ever fall asleep, I will use the post it note idea. And hope he did not wake as I was leaving, but if he did I would just say read my note and call me. And deduct this session, I plan too.

rsk

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep/lonely » rskontos

Posted by nfc on March 2, 2008, at 17:13:13

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep/lonely » Poet, posted by rskontos on March 2, 2008, at 17:05:13

Don't forget to tie him up and take a picture with the rest of his staff at his side!

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Lonely

Posted by Kath on March 2, 2008, at 19:40:41

In reply to What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 22:47:18

Years ago a wonderful female pdoc used to do that. She was allergic to prefumes, etc & sometimes patients wore them (not me as I am allergic to them too) & it was MOST uncomfortable, but I'd just keep talking & from her responses I realized that although her eyes were closed & she seemed to be dozing, she seemed to be registering what I was saying!!

good luck Kath

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep

Posted by rskontos on March 3, 2008, at 8:55:47

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Lonely, posted by Kath on March 2, 2008, at 19:40:41

Now I must add even that my p-doc may seem sleepy he remembers all the names of my family members, my children, hus, what he does, everything I ever tell him all without ever taking one single note. He knows things I tell him once. I have never repeated anything. So even if he looks sleepy sometimes he never misses a detail :)

rsk

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » rskontos

Posted by nfc on March 3, 2008, at 15:24:14

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by rskontos on March 3, 2008, at 8:55:47

he must have a stenographer in his head!

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » nfc

Posted by rskontos on March 3, 2008, at 15:49:23

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » rskontos, posted by nfc on March 3, 2008, at 15:24:14

Yes, I have often wondered how he does it. He is much older than I and I have major memory issues. I leave there sometimes thinking how the heck does he remember everything. Maybe the place is bugged? LOL

rsk

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep

Posted by krycek on March 3, 2008, at 17:00:28

In reply to What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 22:47:18

I actually stopped seeing a T because she yawned throughout our session. I have no patience for this type of stuff.

I'd call him/her on it, and see what she has to say.

If it continues, seek a new T.

BTW, I like the post-it idea. I would definitely pro-rate my bill. ;)

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep

Posted by Lonely on March 3, 2008, at 17:20:00

In reply to What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 22:47:18

Wellll ... I know that he has had some serious illnesses and probably is not right even now. I do believe that it's his responsibility to be alert when seeing patients, though. Kind've needed to hear that from others. I don't want to be a "hard hearted Hannah" type as I have my own health issues! I'm thinking about bringing a snack or something ... he doesn't totally go out like to the point of snoring but his eyes close and he jerks awake ... repeatedly. I just don't want the hassle of finding another T. We have not always had a smooth relationship in part because my needs are not being met very well. Perhaps a case of "you get what you pay for" and my ins. doesn't pay much. I'm still trying to formulate something in my mind to bring up the issue delicately without being offensive. I'm not sure I should ask if there's something I could do to help keep him awake or perhaps talk about his health. That might be what I'll go into though if it doesn't stop soon!


 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep

Posted by krycek on March 3, 2008, at 18:48:23

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 3, 2008, at 17:20:00

> Wellll ... I know that he has had some serious illnesses and probably is not right even now. I do believe that it's his responsibility to be alert when seeing patients, though. Kind've needed to hear that from others. I don't want to be a "hard hearted Hannah" type as I have my own health issues! I'm thinking about bringing a snack or something ... he doesn't totally go out like to the point of snoring but his eyes close and he jerks awake ... repeatedly. I just don't want the hassle of finding another T. We have not always had a smooth relationship in part because my needs are not being met very well. Perhaps a case of "you get what you pay for" and my ins. doesn't pay much. I'm still trying to formulate something in my mind to bring up the issue delicately without being offensive. I'm not sure I should ask if there's something I could do to help keep him awake or perhaps talk about his health. That might be what I'll go into though if it doesn't stop soon!
>
>
>

I suppose if you want to be delicate you could ask if he has been really busy lately or how he's feeling?

My T in our last session was really weird and negative our last session, so I called him out on it the next session. He explained to me that he was tired from working two jobs and was having some problems with the other women in his office. It was nice to know that 'hurt krycek's feelings' wasn't on the therapy schedule for that day.

Anyhow, you are not paying him to talk about his problems/health. It's about you. That's why you are shelling out the cash. If he is truly ill and needs some time to get well, perhaps he should take that time for himself, because his sleepiness is acting in detriment to your recovery. (if you want to call it recovery...)

Take care

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Lonely

Posted by DAisym on March 4, 2008, at 19:55:03

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 3, 2008, at 17:20:00

Tell yourself you are helping all his patients, not just yourself and don't wait any longer. It was bad enough for you to post about so it is time to address it!

Can you try: "I have something that is hard for me to say because I don't want to be impolite or hurt your feelings but you seem to have a hard time staying awake during my sessions. I'm trying hard to not assume that I bore you - but I'm not really sure what to think. I'd like to know what is happening and how we can make it stop."

You job in therapy is to be honest about what is on your mind. Go for it.

 

Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » DAisym

Posted by Lonely on March 14, 2008, at 1:11:00

In reply to Re: What to do w/T that falls asleep » Lonely, posted by DAisym on March 4, 2008, at 19:55:03

The last couple times he's been more alert so I haven't said anything yet. As far as honesty is concerned ... well, that brings up some interesting issues. I have told him what I find upsetting about him and his attitudes in the past only to find my sessions shortened and the cold shoulder.

And that brings up an interesting issue too ... how much responsibility do we have to our T's? And in what way?


> Tell yourself you are helping all his patients, not just yourself and don't wait any longer. It was bad enough for you to post about so it is time to address it!
>
> Can you try: "I have something that is hard for me to say because I don't want to be impolite or hurt your feelings but you seem to have a hard time staying awake during my sessions. I'm trying hard to not assume that I bore you - but I'm not really sure what to think. I'd like to know what is happening and how we can make it stop."
>
> You job in therapy is to be honest about what is on your mind. Go for it.

 

I ask mine if he'd like to stand up or walk around

Posted by Dinah on March 17, 2008, at 17:51:02

In reply to What to do w/T that falls asleep, posted by Lonely on March 1, 2008, at 22:47:18

He doesn't actually snore. But sometimes he seems sleepy. It happens most often when I'm being intellectual and detached. I can't figure out whether I bore him, or he doesn't like me that way.

But sometimes it happens when I'm not at all being intellectual and detached. It smarts.

He sometimes does get up and walk around. Which doesn't work very well since he's very tall and the office is small. I either look at his belt, or have to crane my head uncomfortably to look higher.

I think I used to ask that in a acerbic tone. But now it's more matter of fact, because I've come to terms with his tendency.


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