![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 2 to 26 of 26. Go back in thread:
Posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 13:32:35
In reply to FRUSTRATED, posted by Maxime on February 6, 2008, at 13:22:00
Maxi, keep trying. I know how frustrating it is, but you deserve the help. You are in Canada right? I will try to search too for you. rsk
Posted by Maxime on February 6, 2008, at 17:51:46
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Maxime, posted by rskontos on February 6, 2008, at 13:32:35
> Maxi, keep trying. I know how frustrating it is, but you deserve the help. You are in Canada right? I will try to search too for you. rsk
You are sweet. I am in Quebec Canada and there are not many resources.
Maxime
Posted by Kath on February 6, 2008, at 18:20:46
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » rskontos, posted by Maxime on February 6, 2008, at 17:51:46
Hi Maxime,
Don't know if you've done this, but i'd suggest calling either:
- your local hospital to see if they have anything for you while you're on a waiting list
- CMHA (Canadian Mental Health Association) - I'm not sure what it's French name is, maybe Association for Mental Health Canada? Maybe there's a website under CMHA that would tell it French name. I'm not sure if you have a diagnosis such as depression, etc. but the CMHA is a VERY useful resource.
If you want my help with regard to the CMHA just ask me.
luv, Kath
Posted by Maxime on February 6, 2008, at 18:31:57
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Maxime, posted by Kath on February 6, 2008, at 18:20:46
I am seeing a T at a local hospital. He gave me some names but they aren't accepting patients.
And I am Anglophone so I don't want services in French. :) I will try contacting CMHA and see what they can do. Although they were not much help when I lived in Kitchener Ontario.
Maxime
Posted by Kath on February 6, 2008, at 21:33:46
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Kath, posted by Maxime on February 6, 2008, at 18:31:57
Best of luck. Waiting lists are horrible! Does the doctor you're seeing know how long the waiting list is? Could you ask who you can see in the meantime?
Hope CMHA can help. luv, Kath
Posted by star008 on February 6, 2008, at 21:40:14
In reply to FRUSTRATED, posted by Maxime on February 6, 2008, at 13:22:00
sometimes p-docs and poush thngs forward.. I am sorry you are having so much trouble lately Maxime.. I am not doing well either.. maybe the long winter?? Keep trying..There is something out there for you.. It just s***cks having to look for it.. I am in the US but it is hard for me too to find what I need.. One place wants 250 just to evaluate me but can't tell me if I will fit in their program or not..There isn't much else out there for me either but I keep looking (in between giving up)... Wishing the best for you..
Posted by llurpsienoodle on February 6, 2008, at 21:44:28
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED, posted by star008 on February 6, 2008, at 21:40:14
I'm sorry this is so hard right now. I don't have good suggestions, but I want you to know that I'm pulling for you.
-Ll
Posted by Phillipa on February 7, 2008, at 0:01:53
In reply to ((((Maxime)))), posted by llurpsienoodle on February 6, 2008, at 21:44:28
Maxie anyone here you're friends with you could visit and maybe see someone in the US for a while. I guess that would be awfully hard. Love Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 10:59:50
In reply to Re: ((((Maxime)))), posted by Phillipa on February 7, 2008, at 0:01:53
> Maxie anyone here you're friends with you could visit and maybe see someone in the US for a while. I guess that would be awfully hard. Love Phillipa
Nice thought, but impossible. I wouldn't be able to work in the US. Besides, I am loyal to Canada despite all its flaws.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 11:00:30
In reply to ((((Maxime)))), posted by llurpsienoodle on February 6, 2008, at 21:44:28
Thank you. Your caring thoughts mean a lot to me.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 11:02:04
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED, posted by star008 on February 6, 2008, at 21:40:14
The wait lists are so long that my pdoc wouldn't be able to pull any strings. Beside, those people have been waiting a long time and are probably in a lot of pain.
I am sorry you are struggling as well.
Maxime
>
Posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 11:04:37
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Maxime, posted by Kath on February 6, 2008, at 21:33:46
I will be seeing him next Wednesday and I will tell him. He is under pressure to only see me five more time. The head psychiatrist the hospital believes that I am wasting valuable resources. That is exactly what she said. She said that no one wants to help someone who doesn't want to get better. Well newsflash!I want to get better. She is a cut throat bitch. :(
Maxie
Posted by rskontos on February 7, 2008, at 12:11:49
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Kath, posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 11:04:37
Wow maxime, that seem so harsh. I am sorry someone said that to you when you are in pain. rsk
Posted by Justherself54 on February 7, 2008, at 12:40:10
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED, posted by rskontos on February 7, 2008, at 12:11:49
I'm loyal to Canada too..it's just frustating that therapists are rare as chicken's teeth here..I wish you the best in your search..
Posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 13:30:04
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED, posted by rskontos on February 7, 2008, at 12:11:49
> Wow maxime, that seem so harsh. I am sorry someone said that to you when you are in pain. rsk
It was harsh. It was so harsh that I escaped from the unit because her office is on the other side of the unit. They called a code white and 12 people wrestled me to the ground (12 people for someone who isn't 5 feet>). Then I was put in 5 point restraints for 4 hours. It was not humane.
Maxime
Posted by Racer on February 7, 2008, at 13:42:27
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Kath, posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 11:04:37
I think a lot of people in the mental health field use "borderline" as a heuristic, rather than a diagnosis based on criteria listed in the DSM or ICD. For some, it means "someone who doesn't get better in five sessions." It's too bad -- kinda erodes the useful meanings of the diagnosis, you know? At any rate, beyond the immediate, practical problems it may cause you, if I were standing in front of you, I'd roll my eyes, and say, "Don't even listen to what she's got to say."
OK, for moving forward, and getting past this problem:
When I've been in a similar situation, the worst obstacle I've had to face was my own paralysis. I get hopeless, and suck back inside myself, which certainly hasn't helped me much. The one thing that has helped with that more than anything else I've found was writing lists. I would write a list of three or four things to do, and those were the only things I'd even try to do that day. Some days, I only put one thing down, because I was feeling that bad. When I was trying to find a therapist or psychiatrist, and didn't have the money or the insurance to do so, I went through the telephone book and made a list of names and telephone numbers. Then, each day, I'd call three or four of them, and ask if they could see me at a reduced rate. Some were very clear -- nope, if you can't pay full price, I want nothing to do with you. For those who would speak with me, I not only asked about sliding scales, I also asked if they had any advice about where else I could try for getting treatment. Eventually, I found a free clinic for meds -- and a doctor there I *really* liked -- and a therapist who would see me for a fee of just $35. (Since average then was about $140 in that area, that was amazing!) In the course of that, I also tried all sorts of other options, even at one point trying a priest who saw anyone regardless of religion. (He wasn't for me at all, though -- I was feeling hopeless, severely depressed, and suicidal. He told me that was being disrespectful of God -- that way, I could be hopeless, severely depressed, suicidal, and guilty about being disrespectful of God...) The best thing I learned, though, was to ask everyone if they could recommend other avenues to me.
Aside from the telephone book, I called all the crisis lines I could find, and asked them for recommendations. Not necessarily specific names, but what they recommended in terms of going about my search. That was helpful, for the most part.
I know you and I have talked about this, but here's another idea: you've mentioned that your current T has suggested the intensive outpatient program -- that would give you access to some therapy while you're waiting for a space to open up with someone in your area. It's worth discussing your reservations with this T, and considering whether it might be the best plan for you after all. It would provide a base of support for you while you're waiting for a longer term solution, and I really think you need that. (Question: if you did take that option, would you be seeing him while part of the program? Also, would you have to do the full program? Or would you be able to tailor it, say three days a week instead of five?)
I hate to say it, but I think your ED may have something to do with what that other woman had to say. I'll keep my mouth shut on that, too, though...
As for the five sessions and what to work on, that's a tough one and I will put my brain to it. I just can't promise I can come up with anything at all useful.
xoxo
Posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 16:08:37
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Maxime, posted by Racer on February 7, 2008, at 13:42:27
Ah Racer, what would PB do without you. :)
Yes, I agree with you on the Borderline. I think it is better to say "borderline personality disorder (if it meets the criteria). Saying someone is "borderline" really doesn't mean much except the person is a pain in the *ss.
My short term T has me creating lists as you suggested (I think you missed your calling). I am doing it and it does help. My T tells me "Just DO". And he is right. When I am doing something it makes me feel less depressed. He helped me write out of all my goals and the steps that I would need to take to accomplish them. He wants me to have something to live for.
If I gave up my job and did an intensive program it would be at a different hospital. And for all I know there is a long wait list. The wait list to get an assessment for my ED is 10 months. My T WOULD NOT continue to see me even if I was in an intensive program.
I think the hardest part for me is that I am NOT WELL. It's really hard for me to call places etc. It's ironic that I have to do this because I am so sick, yet being sick makes it really hard to do. Does that make sense?
Thanks Racer, you had some really good suggestions.
xo
Maxime
Posted by Kath on February 7, 2008, at 19:42:39
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Kath, posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 11:04:37
That sounds AWFUL. I'm sorry. Do you have a mental health diagnosis? Because if you do, there might be something at CMHA. In our local one, if you have a diagnosis (say depression, for ex) there is psychotherapy available.
I'd suggest check it out if you have the energy.
I'm rooting for you. hugs, Kath
Posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 20:34:55
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Maxime, posted by Kath on February 7, 2008, at 19:42:39
> That sounds AWFUL. I'm sorry. Do you have a mental health diagnosis? Because if you do, there might be something at CMHA. In our local one, if you have a diagnosis (say depression, for ex) there is psychotherapy available.
>
> I'd suggest check it out if you have the energy.
>
> I'm rooting for you. hugs, KathThanks Kath. :)
Yes I have bipolar type 2 (but rarely experience hypomania), anorexia and now borderline personlity disorder. Phew, that is a lot!
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 20:52:38
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Kath, posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 20:34:55
I have a neighbour who is a T and I sent her an email requesting some referrals. It was embarrassing because I had to tell her a little about my problems so she can recommend an appropriate therapist.
I'm trying even though I want to give up.
Posted by Kath on February 7, 2008, at 21:07:17
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED, posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 20:52:38
Congratulations. I see you as having a tremendousl amount of courage & strength in the face of great trials!!!
I hope you are proud of yourself in this. You should be!
luv, Kath
Posted by RealMe on February 8, 2008, at 0:01:21
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Kath, posted by Maxime on February 7, 2008, at 11:04:37
Maxime; I can't believe them saying this; that is just horrible; I would be devastated, and I am so so sorry. Can't T stand up for you?
RealMe
Posted by Maxime on February 8, 2008, at 17:02:09
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Maxime, posted by RealMe on February 8, 2008, at 0:01:21
My T has stood up for me as much as he can. I know that to be true. I just wish he hadn't given me names of people who are no longer accepting patients!
I was devasted when the psychiatrist said that to me. She hates people with BPD. I like to call her cut throat bitch. :)
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on February 8, 2008, at 17:03:17
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Maxime, posted by Kath on February 7, 2008, at 21:07:17
> Congratulations. I see you as having a tremendousl amount of courage & strength in the face of great trials!!!
>
> I hope you are proud of yourself in this. You should be!
>
> luv, KathAw, thanks Kath! I wasn't proud of myself until you posted. I never think anything I am doing is good enough. Thanks for pointing it out to me.
xo
Maxime
Posted by Kath on February 8, 2008, at 17:32:46
In reply to Re: FRUSTRATED » Kath, posted by Maxime on February 8, 2008, at 17:03:17
> > Congratulations. I see you as having a tremendousl amount of courage & strength in the face of great trials!!!
> >
> > I hope you are proud of yourself in this. You should be!
> >
> > luv, Kath
>
> Aw, thanks Kath! I wasn't proud of myself until you posted. I never think anything I am doing is good enough. Thanks for pointing it out to me.
>
> xo
> Maxime
********Sounds like you recognize that you deserve to be proud!!! That's wonderful!Yay for you. Let us know how it goes.
Oh also - sometimes they refer us to pdocs not knowing that the pdoc isn't 'hiring' any more...they probably have a list, which could be old.
hugs, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.