Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 810044

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How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation

Posted by Poet on February 1, 2008, at 8:54:52

1. Babble
2. Realize that the only thing that could trigger a major meltdown is if I get fired and that is (hooray) unlikely to happen.
3. Wear my earplugs.
4. Call Dr. Clueless if it's something meds might help with.
5. Write (T said I'm a good writer :), well, yeah I used to be, but I'll save my I am no longer creative rant for when she's back)

If anybody can think of anything else, please add it to my list.

As the 70s disco song goes I will survive.

Poet

p.s. I would have asked T if I could go along with her, but not only is it a boundary issue, I've never really wanted to visit the country she's heading towards. Lucky her, if it was someplace tropical, she'd have to push me away.

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Poet

Posted by Bodhisattva on February 1, 2008, at 9:49:56

In reply to How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Poet on February 1, 2008, at 8:54:52

One thing that I do when I don't feel like dealing with reality is find a nice violent video game. And kill stuff. Doing this with a group of friends is even more relaxing.

So I would suggest doing something with friends to keep occupied.

Or, why not go on a vacation yourself? That'll give plenty of things for you and your T to talk about when you both get back.

Pick up a good book. Lately I've been reading through the collected works of Plato, Nietzsche, and Emerson. Good "chewing gum" for the brain so to speak. Aristotle's works actually made me think so hard for so long that I didn't initiate a single conversation for a little less than a month. People thought I was depressed, but no, I was just in deep contemplation. Good stuff...

And what of this rant? How about you tell us here at babble about it. Maybe if you clear that from your mind, the creative part will come back.

Anyway, let us know how you do.

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Poet

Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2008, at 9:56:50

In reply to How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Poet on February 1, 2008, at 8:54:52

Well, I turn myself off and act like an automaton and keep my hurt bottled up till he gets back when I pour it loose on his unsuspecting head in a very unpleasant welcome back.

But I don't really advise it. I think your list is much better.

Writing sounds good.

And lately I've internalized him to the point where I converse with him like I converse with Daddy while he's gone. He teases me that the him in my head is probably much better than the him in person, and it probably is. Just as the Daddy I talk to rarely bellows or yells or curses. :D

Why don't you try writing when you can, and having internal conversations with her while you're stressed at work? I'll bet you can guess by now her responses.

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation

Posted by Daisym on February 1, 2008, at 10:38:21

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Poet, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2008, at 9:56:50

I agree with Dinah. Keep a running journal for her while she is gone. It helps to hold her close and you probably can write her responses. When I do that, my therapist cracks up - because I almost always get it right. I keep telling him I just need the key to the office - he doesn't really have to be there anymore. (not really...:)

For me it would also be organizing things - pick a closet or a cupboard or a book shelf. And shopping helps.

Don't forget to call friends too. You don't have to tell them you are struggling - just go out and have some fun. Ask your husband on a date, he'll be flattered. It will give you something to plan for the week. And Valentine's day is right around the corner.

Don't disappear from here either, K?

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation

Posted by sassyfrancesca on February 1, 2008, at 10:50:49

In reply to How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Poet on February 1, 2008, at 8:54:52

LOL, LOL!!! My t is going to an ACA (American Counseling Association) convention in Hawaii....I just JOINED the ACA and did something rare for me; I was impulsive, and decided to register to go, and got my plane ticket!

he will be gone for 2 weeks; i am going for 1 week. I just started school (psych.) in the Fall, and consider this part of my education, along with cute little drinks with umbrellas, a luau, etc.....I can't believe I am doing this. Scary!

If he puts a negative spin on it, or thinks I am going just because he is I WILL tell him to set his ego aside, etc., etc.....I am not flying all the way to hawaii JUST to see him; I see him every week, LOL

Smiles, Francesca

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Poet

Posted by JoniS on February 1, 2008, at 11:11:17

In reply to How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Poet on February 1, 2008, at 8:54:52

One thing to add to your list:

Give yourself credit for each day (maybe even each HOUR) that you have been strong enough to take care of yourself on your own.

It can be so difficult. I've spent a lot of my time (TOO MUCH time) kicking and screaming that my t left me for 15 weeks.

Good Luck, You CAN do it!

Joni

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation

Posted by raisinb on February 1, 2008, at 11:14:17

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by sassyfrancesca on February 1, 2008, at 10:50:49

Three weeks is a long time! When my T went on maternity leave a couple of years ago, it helped me to just mark off the days and know that I was getting through it, bit by bit. It also helped to write in a journal all the things I wished I could've told her (I have a tendency to get amazing insights at 3 am, and lose them by morning :).

It also helped me, in said journal, to give myself credit for every little positive action and accomplishment (I still do this). It helped me see that I really was okay on my own.

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation

Posted by Happyflower on February 1, 2008, at 11:26:03

In reply to How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Poet on February 1, 2008, at 8:54:52

Hi Poet,

3 frickin weeks? OMG is that a long vacation, she makes way too money if you ask me.
I just don't know but to me that seems rather irresponsible to take that long of a time away from clients, especially if it is a weekly thing. I know they need their breaks, but 3 weeks seems too long. Has she offered to call or anything? This is just sucks, I am so sorry for you. And you ARE a good writer, by the way, except I am not sure about your music choice of the Bee Gee's ! lol ummmm, yeah.
P.S. I found these awesome earbuds that have earpieces that conform to your ears and they were about 20 bucks, but they take away all outside noice. I know because people will try to talk to me in the gym, and I can't hear them even if the volume is down low.
((((((Poet)))))

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation

Posted by Phillipa on February 1, 2008, at 12:24:45

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Happyflower on February 1, 2008, at 11:26:03

Gee I just got to see mine every two weeks from every three you guys are lucky someone to talk to frequently. Phillipa

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Bodhisattva

Posted by Poet on February 2, 2008, at 12:06:46

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Poet, posted by Bodhisattva on February 1, 2008, at 9:49:56

Hi Bodhisattva,

I will post my I am not creative anymore rant soon. What's so odd is that when I used to be depressed I wrote poetry that I didn't rip right up. Now I get more depressed and my brain goes into much mode.

I can't afford to take a vacation, but maybe I can read a book that is set someplace tropical. I am tired of this cold and snowy winter and maybe I can trick my brain into thinking I'm someplace warm.

Poet

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Dinah

Posted by Poet on February 2, 2008, at 12:11:27

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Poet, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2008, at 9:56:50

Hi Dinah,

I do have internal conversations with her and you are right I know what her answers would be. Getting through work is going to be the hardest as we have been dealing with work related issues for the last few sessions. I will have a lot to read to her or let her read when she's back.

She let me know in November she would be gone in February so I knew it was coming. In the last session she asked if I was angry at her for leaving, I said no, I just feel like throwing a shoe at you. Yeah, there's some anger. Guess I'll write that down, too.

Poet

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Daisym

Posted by Poet on February 2, 2008, at 12:15:36

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Daisym on February 1, 2008, at 10:38:21

Hi Daisy,

I promise not to disappear from here. I'll bet I can predict how my T will respond. She'll find that very funny.

My kitchen cupboards are in need of straightening out, I will do that Thursday night when I'd normally see my T. Good idea.

We will go out on Valentine's Day, so a good dinner will help, too. Actually it's our tenth wedding anniversary, so maybe a nice bottle of wine, too.

Poet

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation sassyfrancesca

Posted by Poet on February 2, 2008, at 12:19:52

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by sassyfrancesca on February 1, 2008, at 10:50:49

Hi Francesca,

I am very jealous. I love Hawaii. I hope your T keeps his ego at home. Does he know you're going or are you going to surprise him? Hey, T, can I buy you a Mai Tai?

Poet

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation JoniS

Posted by Poet on February 2, 2008, at 12:23:13

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Poet, posted by JoniS on February 1, 2008, at 11:11:17

Hi Joni,

I would kick and scream if my T left me for that long, too. I will try hard to give myself credit for being able to take care of myself. T's gone on week long vacations, but never three weeks. Give yourself credit for surviving 15 weeks, okay?

Poet

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation raisinb

Posted by Poet on February 2, 2008, at 12:26:25

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by raisinb on February 1, 2008, at 11:14:17

Hi Raisinb,

I will definitely journal and put how I think my T would respond. I have a hard time saying anything positive about myself, so giving myself written credit will be tough. Though just writing it down is something I should give myself credit for accomplishing.

I will be okay (repeat over and over.)

Poet

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Happyflower

Posted by Poet on February 2, 2008, at 12:32:22

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Happyflower on February 1, 2008, at 11:26:03

Hi Happyflower,

Ahem, Gloria Gaynor did I will Survive, the Bee Gees did Stayin' Alive, but in any case both are disco songs that are best forgotten. I was in college during the disco era, talk about feeling old. Why couldn't I have been born later and been in the punk era?

What is the brand name of the earbuds? Twenty bucks is in my price range and I so crave silence.

T can't call as she is going out of the country, she told me about this in November, but now that's she's leaving it seems like she just sprung it on me last week. She left an emergency number, but said "I know you won't talk to someone else." Damn straight.

I still think my writing is not what it once was, but thank your for your compliment.

Poet

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Phillipa

Posted by Poet on February 2, 2008, at 12:35:26

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Phillipa on February 1, 2008, at 12:24:45

Hi Phillipa,

This is the first long vacation my T has taken in the 5 1/2 years I've been seeing her. I am very lucky that she has been there when I've needed her. She deserves a vacation, but still I will miss her.

Poet

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation

Posted by raisinb on February 3, 2008, at 7:24:56

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation raisinb, posted by Poet on February 2, 2008, at 12:26:25

It *is* hard to say positive things about oneself. But it gets easier with practice. Did for me anyway :)

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Poet

Posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 10:31:07

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Happyflower, posted by Poet on February 2, 2008, at 12:32:22

Hi Poet,

The headphones are marshmellows by JVC and they are flexible ones, they come in pink, which I have! Here is a link to what they look like. http://www.jvc.com/press/index.jsp?item=531&pageID=1&image=true

Now they do have some special ones that are for noice cancelling, but I found these, which are much cheaper and they do a pretty good job at that. I think I paid 20 bucks at Target for them. I also like them because the ear pieces are comfortable and they fit my small ear hole, normally they are too big and I need the ear hook kind. Good luck!
You can get through this, it will be hard, but you can do it, Poet, maybe it will inspire you to write. (((((Poet))))

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation Poet

Posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 10:38:13

In reply to How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Poet on February 1, 2008, at 8:54:52

Here is a good review site for headphones, and this is the page for the marshmallows! When you think of marshmallows, can any thing be any better? lol
http://www.jvc.com/press/index.jsp?item=531&pageID=1&image=true

 

okay wrong link, sorry Poet

Posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 10:42:53

In reply to How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by Poet on February 1, 2008, at 8:54:52

http://www.onheadphones.com/product-reviews/in-ear-headphones/jvc-ha-fx33-marshmallows.html

 

Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation raisinb

Posted by Poet on February 3, 2008, at 11:38:06

In reply to Re: How I am Going to Handle T's 3 week vacation, posted by raisinb on February 3, 2008, at 7:24:56

Hi raisinb,

It's going to take a lot of practice for me. Though I did tell my T that I am smart and her response was "did you just say you're smart?" Normally I tell her I'm stupid. So that's one positive thing: I am smart.

Poet

 

Re: okay wrong link, sorry Happyflower

Posted by Poet on February 3, 2008, at 11:39:56

In reply to okay wrong link, sorry Poet, posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 10:42:53

Hi Happyflower,

I am going to get some marshmallows. I think I'll get some real marshmallows, too and some hot chocolate. Try comfort food until T is back.

Poet

 

Re: okay wrong link, sorry Poet

Posted by Happyflower on February 3, 2008, at 11:44:12

In reply to Re: okay wrong link, sorry Happyflower, posted by Poet on February 3, 2008, at 11:39:56

sounds excellent! I guess you can get them online for 10 bucks even, maybe I should by more colors so I can coordinate with my outfits at the gym, but they are all black, so I need a little color! lol

Hot chocolate! yum! Now don't buy the diet kind, get the most rich kind or make some homemade! Of course you don't have to make homemade marshmallows like Martha, but if it keeps you busy, it might be fun! lol


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