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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 7:55:10
my T made all of me cry
sometimes when my littleone is retelling abuse she gets cold and shivers so T last couple times used her coat to cover me up to warm me. she said she was going to buy a blanket just for me to use when i'd get cold.
well, she did. she got one and she had it yesterday.
i needed it but when she took it out it was truly the most beautiful blanket you;ve EVER seen.
it was a plush red velvet with quilting in it. she wrapped me up in it...it was all we (me and parts) could do was cry...all of us cried, it must have been for 5 minutes just saying its way too nice for me, i don't' deserve such a nice blanket. and how she wrapped me up in it, with such care. she wrapped me up all the way up to my neck so i felt safe. and tucked me in the blanket.
i don't think i've felt that kind of care towards me...ever. it melted my insides. we didn't know how else to respond except to cry.
i don't ever remember feeling that cared for as a little girl...it was such a strange wonderful scary overwhelming wonderful feeling.
b2c.
Posted by rskontos on January 31, 2008, at 10:51:26
In reply to my T made all of us cry, posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 7:55:10
B2c, that is wonderful and that is how she should have made you feel.....that is special....and way to go to accept those feelings. Crying is sometimes a comfort to the soul...and to all those inside of you. You are cared for, by Babblers, and your DH and your very precious wonderful little girl...
And I am sure many many more...rsk
Posted by muffled on January 31, 2008, at 11:37:57
In reply to my T made all of us cry, posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 7:55:10
wow.
wish i could know how that feels.
thats so good you are able to feel that.
funny i was just wishing i could go live under my t's porch.
so then maybe i could feel safe.
maybe cared for too.
i not so sure we allowed that.
dunno why.
mebbe scared?
maybe we gross?
just dunno.
i glad friend b2 can feel this feeling.
i think it would scare us somehow.
you are brave and strong b2.
m
Posted by Phillipa on January 31, 2008, at 12:12:22
In reply to Re: my T made all of us cry, posted by muffled on January 31, 2008, at 11:37:57
I too think it must have been a wonderful feeling to feel safe and comforted. In a way I'm a bit envious I'd love to feel safe and comforted. Love Phillipa
Posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 12:19:32
In reply to Re: my T made all of us cry, posted by Phillipa on January 31, 2008, at 12:12:22
phillipa, i didn't even know i could be envious.
i've never felt this before...such a warmth. such a inner caring. its one of those things that some people just have...dare i say a nurturing side. NOW i know what this is...
i may have said before i wish i could feel it, but i've never felt it so i didn't really miss it. when i felt that yesterday it was SO overwhelming...so many feelings all i could do is cry. just to be wrapped up and her saying its a protective blanket almost magical to keep me protected that plus me being in her SAFE office, no one could get to me then. i think the crying too was because for once i let me guard down. i think i was also really...really feeling ...safe? yes...i think that was it too.
my God i've never known people could have such a feeling.
i don't want to think to much more on this as i'll start to cry or bring overpowering feelings back, but. this was a strong emotional day for me.i also....next post....
Posted by Phillipa on January 31, 2008, at 12:29:53
In reply to Re: my T made all of us cry » Phillipa, posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 12:19:32
Yes envious as I don't feel anymore been emotionally hurt too much a little different but it still hurts emotional to me is sometimes worse than phsical and I wish I could care or cry. Good job. Phillipa
Posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 13:19:17
In reply to my T made all of us cry, posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 7:55:10
i also let out another 'part' of me. one that i've only recently discovered.
i think i kinda knew last fall i was putting things together but over the holidays i really put things together and figured out that there IS one more 'part' inside me. id guess her age at about 12. she talks differently that little girl, but not like teen either. so she's inbetween. however, she mostly manifests herself as total fear. SHE IS the fear, the paralyzing fear that i feel. when i or others want to talk, she comes and opens up the fear and i curl up with her in my head and she releases the fear and darkenss that she holds in order to stop the talking.she told T yesterday, along with telling of the 'camp' story. littleone popped in and out also...boy is she ever getting a stronger voice! she really belts it out nowadays, kinda funny to me now.
but she was kinda glad she got to talk but she doens't ever talk, shes the one that stops the talk. however she has a voice in my head. usually repetative things but.
Anyway, she talked to T. and when i left i hadnn't gone back to me and i didn't know how to switch in fact most of yesterday i struggled with her out. luckily my boss was not here yesterday and didn't know that i was a pre-teen surfing the internet most of the day. when i left office she told T i didn't want to sneak out the back i want to show everyone who i am. so i did i had the biggest sh#t eating grin on my face and walked really tall and pranced out of her office looking back only once! but my driving was scary so i only went a few blocks to the library and got a book listened to music and tried to switch back enough to drive home. that helped.wow tired just writing about this.
so much going on with me these days. sorry i don't write much. just real busy. and sometimes when i switch. sometimes i can't figure out how to post, sometimes i can. and i've been doing a lot of that lately. also just been busy at work.so sorry this so long.
and thank you all for listening...
b2c's (lol)
Posted by llurpsienoodle on January 31, 2008, at 14:27:42
In reply to ...and now there's more.., posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 13:19:17
with my formerT, that she was trying to help me get through a dr's appt. and that I was running away and fell, and as I lay on the ground in this fetal position she covered me with the silkiest scarf shawl and I felt so enveloped by that warmth and love
Isn't that what we all covet?
ll
Posted by JoniS on January 31, 2008, at 17:29:40
In reply to my T made all of us cry, posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 7:55:10
Posted by Daisym on January 31, 2008, at 23:41:43
In reply to my T made all of us cry, posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 7:55:10
I love this. I can feel her caring through your words. No wonder your fear felt safe enough to show herself - she was protected in the magic blanket.
I'm jealous and very glad for you. :)
Posted by Bodhisattva on February 1, 2008, at 9:09:36
In reply to my T made all of us cry, posted by B2chica on January 31, 2008, at 7:55:10
That's the kind of care you deserve. That we all deserve.
Hold on to the memory of how that felt. It's a good one.
Posted by B2chica on February 1, 2008, at 9:25:09
In reply to Re: my T made all of us cry » B2chica, posted by Bodhisattva on February 1, 2008, at 9:09:36
i think your cute.
Posted by Bodhisattva on February 5, 2008, at 23:54:06
In reply to Re: my T made all of us cry » Bodhisattva, posted by B2chica on February 1, 2008, at 9:25:09
Very unexpected, and thank you.
This is the end of the thread.
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