Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 809101

Shown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

dare i post? bout dissociation?

Posted by muffled on January 26, 2008, at 22:06:34

why is it so controversial? I reckon its different for all. i am comming to better understand how it all is. i am better understanding how its hard for others to sometimes 'get' it. i am afraid to say more cuz i think everybody been talking behind me somehow that i stupid and say dumbass things and that i an idiot too. but i try to help. i try to write HERE cuz then maybe there's others who were like me and had NO CLUE at all and net was not much help. and I was SO confused, and SO alone and babble made me feel less so. but now i think my head got too full of itself thinking it knew stuff and maybe it wasn't so dumb, but its dumb. i just want people to know i TRY. i want to add good to this world. but now scared to say much cuz then people say i dumb. stupid. but then i write this and people say...'do not be hard on yourself' but this is my thots and some may be dumb, and some may be real, and this is just what i feel and so i say this.
my T is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice.
she watching my back she is.
i getting mixed up.
night.
m

 

i feel alone :-( (nm)

Posted by muffled on January 26, 2008, at 22:07:41

In reply to dare i post? bout dissociation?, posted by muffled on January 26, 2008, at 22:06:34

 

pink floyd muffled

Posted by muffled on January 26, 2008, at 22:27:45

In reply to i feel alone :-( (nm), posted by muffled on January 26, 2008, at 22:07:41

Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, Come on, Come on, now,
I hear you're feeling down.
I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I'll need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a FEVER My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am.

I have become comfortably numb.
(solo)
I have become comfortably numb.

O.K.
Just a little pin prick.
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good.
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on it's time to go.

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown,
The dream is gone.
but I have become comfortably numb.


 

Re: pink floyd muffled

Posted by Sigismund on January 26, 2008, at 23:58:24

In reply to pink floyd muffled, posted by muffled on January 26, 2008, at 22:27:45

Around 1970 this song came out.

Reawakening by Peter Hammill off Fool's Mate


If you catch me running along by the sea, with bare feet in
the sand, then you'll know I am dreaming my life out in a way
you won't understand.
I'm slipping right out of your mind, this I know, and I accept
the fact lazily, for I must go into the next field,where grass is green and I'll find peace.
Let me sleep!
Let me dream!
Let me be!
Reawakening isn't easy when you're tired.
Don't push me: I was taught self-expression
when I was a child, and so I know
the best way to go is slow.

Sometimes, when skies are cloud-grey, and trouble's hanging
heavy on your mind, I advise you: curl up, slid away and
dream your life out, as I am.
I'm slipping right out of your mind, this I know, and I accept
the fact lazily, for I must go into the next field,
where grass is green and I'll find peace.
Let me sleep!
Let me dream!
Let me be!
Reawakening isn't easy when you're tired.
Don't push me: I was taught self-expression
when I was a child, and now I see
the best way to be's asleep.

The words don't do it justice, because there is an intensity of organ music that makes me think of Kafka in a cathedral.

 

Re: pink floyd Sigismund

Posted by Phillipa on January 27, 2008, at 0:08:07

In reply to Re: pink floyd muffled, posted by Sigismund on January 26, 2008, at 23:58:24

What a great memory you both have I can hear you both singing. Phillipa and muffled you are not dumb you're very smart and wise.

 

Re: dare i post? bout dissociation? muffled

Posted by RealMe on January 27, 2008, at 0:09:56

In reply to dare i post? bout dissociation?, posted by muffled on January 26, 2008, at 22:06:34

Muffled

I hope no one thinks you are stupid, and I doubt they do. If they don't understand dissociation, well then they have not been paying attention in their lives is my guess. I say this because there is normal dissociation too. The best example is when someone drives a long distance back and forth in the counrty like I did when I did one of my practicums. I went the same way twice per week, and my mind would drift to thought of the day or I would listen to the radio, and then all of a sudden I would note I was 10 miles further down the road than I thought I was. I would say, gosh did I stop at that stop sign back there six miles, and stuff like that. This happens to everyone in some situation or another. So, they should have some idea of what is it like to not be fully present. Or like going to a movie and being so absorbed you don't notice you dropped your popcorn or something like that. I bet people have examples they could share. Of course then there is the dissociation from being triggered, etc. But the process is basically the same for both.

RealME

 

Re: dare i post? bout dissociation?

Posted by star008 on January 27, 2008, at 7:57:24

In reply to Re: dare i post? bout dissociation? muffled, posted by RealMe on January 27, 2008, at 0:09:56

My dissociation is not quite driving along being farther than i thought i was.. Not quite like being absorbed in a movie either. But i guess it might give people a vague idea of what it is like.
You don't say stupid things muffled..People that don't understand the ikids don't probably respond as much. It is lonely but so is depression and alot of other mental things.

 

Re: dare i post? bout dissociation? muffled

Posted by MissK on January 27, 2008, at 9:01:19

In reply to dare i post? bout dissociation?, posted by muffled on January 26, 2008, at 22:06:34

Well, Muffled, what I've seen here on the Psych Board is that we all share one thing in common and that is most of see or have seen a T and done therapy. The reasons are all very different and very specific to each person.

There are some here that do have dissociation problems like you, though they may experience it differently than you.

That's not dumb, it's just each person sharing their different experiences and struggles, good and not so good. All in all though, I think it is a pretty understanding and supportive place here.

 

Re: dare i post? bout dissociation? muffled

Posted by JoniS on January 27, 2008, at 9:11:54

In reply to dare i post? bout dissociation?, posted by muffled on January 26, 2008, at 22:06:34

Hey Muff

I hope you are doing better today :-)

I dont think what you say is dumb or that you are. I dont agree with any of the negative stuff you express about yourself. I think you are brave, intelligent, caring, sensitive.

Your presence here means a lot to me and I miss you when you're not posting.

Take good care

Lots of love to you :o)

((((Muff))))

 

confusion

Posted by muffled on January 27, 2008, at 10:58:30

In reply to Re: dare i post? bout dissociation?, posted by star008 on January 27, 2008, at 7:57:24

>So, they should have some idea of what is it like to not be fully present.

> My dissociation is not quite driving along being farther than i thought i was.. Not quite like being absorbed in a movie either. But i guess it might give people a vague idea of what it is like.

*hmmm, thots.
I thinking and thinking.
I guess why I write bout this stuff is cuz I trying SO HARD to understand it.
I don't think most people have ANY idea of how it is to be further along the continuum of dissociation. Its just not the same animal at all IMHO.
I think part of what makes it so hard for me to figger is that it involves SO much CONFUSION.
I think another example that might be valid is how people feel when they are ambivalent about something. They feel more than one way about something. This touches on how it feels for me too. Just I feel it more often, sometimes its not just two way, there's more opinions, and its very very real to me, the dissenting opinions. And they not always terribly logical these opinions...given their source.
I did that driving thing too. Same route in the country i drove 6-7 days/wk. One time i 'came to' and didn't have a clue where I was. No road signs. Must have missed my turnoff and the next few too. Finally came to a town and found out where I was. Got home 2 hrs later. Very surreal. That was odd in that there was NOTHING, total blackout in those terms. I know others further on the continuum have this happen regularly :-( Not so for me TG.
My T wants to do a consult with another professional. Dunno if I should go or just let T consult. She says she would go w/me for support. I could proly talk if I knew someone was watching my back. That'd make ikids feel better.
I am trying to learn more so I can explain to this other professional quickly. This will be expensive. But if I can stop the confusion in my head, it'll be worth it.
So pardon me all if I am annoying anyone. Cuz I trying to understand me. Its SUCH a broad topic, a long continuum of experience. And with all the confusion, its hard to understand.
Thanks all.
M
Sorry I not being very supportive of anyone.

 

Re: confusion muffled

Posted by Phillipa on January 27, 2008, at 13:49:41

In reply to confusion, posted by muffled on January 27, 2008, at 10:58:30

Muffled no need to apologize to anyone. Unless someone has walked in your shoes can't fully understand. I'd go with the doc for the consult . I know It's gonna be hard. Do you think you can? Phillipa is not that's okay too.

 

good descriptor from Sidran

Posted by muffled on January 27, 2008, at 13:58:48

In reply to Re: confusion muffled, posted by Phillipa on January 27, 2008, at 13:49:41

"Most clinicians believe that dissociation exists on a continuum of severity. This continuum reflects a wide range of experiences and/or symptoms. At one end are mild dissociative experiences common to most people, such as daydreaming, highway hypnosis, or "getting lost" in a book or movie, all of which involve "losing touch" with conscious awareness of one's immediate surroundings. At the other extreme is complex, chronic dissociation, such as in cases of Dissociative Disorders, which may result in serious impairment or inability to function. Some people with Dissociative Disorders can hold highly responsible jobs, contributing to society in a variety of professions, the arts, and public service -- appearing to function normally to coworkers, neighbors, and others with whom they interact daily.

There is a great deal of overlap of symptoms and experiences among the various Dissociative Disorders, including DID. For the sake of clarity, this brochure will refer to Dissociative Disorders as a collective term. Individuals should seek help from qualified mental health providers to answer questions about their own particular circumstances and diagnoses."

http://www.sidran.org/sub.cfm?contentID=75&sectionid=4

 

Re: good descriptor from Sidran muffled

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 27, 2008, at 17:24:03

In reply to good descriptor from Sidran, posted by muffled on January 27, 2008, at 13:58:48

I remember getting a lot of good information from their website when I was first researching my own depersonalization.

There was one evening when I took about a gazillion photos of myself, because I couldn't fathom that the eye, the nose, the chin all belonged to a FACE.

It is a scary thing, depersonalization, and often occurs with dissociation.

I'm dissociating a lot right now, even as I type this-- I feel unreal, elsewhere. I have a lot of dissociative tendencies. Nevermind the triggers. It is a coping mechanism that I developed at a young age and served me well back then. At time maladaptive. Sometimes it reigns over me at is terrifying to experience. Pain is preferable. Other times it is a joke I play along with.

[]

-Ll
I hope you're not feeling as bad as I think you are. well, hugs are in order no matter what (((((((muff))))))) and Phillipa's right -- no apologies needed!

 

Re: confusion Muffled

Posted by rskontos on January 27, 2008, at 18:42:01

In reply to confusion, posted by muffled on January 27, 2008, at 10:58:30

Muffled, I understand not understanding it. I wrote an email to my p-doc arguing with him about having it. You see he gave me a tape telling me I am dissocative with identities. And I still argue with him. Last session I was trying to explain to him about my dissociation and it was so hard and he had this puzzled look and I just got so frustrated and so I assumed he did not believe me. I said nothing, I started dissocation and trying to come up with an answer to another hard question he had asked earlier because the dissociative part was part of the answer to this hard question, anyway, it all became too much so I just went away from the whole session. I only realized it on the way home, when I came back from the hazy, foggy place I was in. Because this time, the dissociation was different than in the past. my point is mine is changing and changes so much how do I explain it? I can't. I have been thinking about this all weekend. And it seems to me that it changes as we need it to continue helping us until we are intregrated. That is all I can come up with. And I have notice for me my voices are only quiet when I am mad and yelling in other words standing up for myself. Because otherwise they have to come to the forefront and do that.

Dissociation is confusion. And just when I think I understand mine I will do it differently in the past. I now will have a tunnel like experience. Or an out of body experience. Well, I had those as in my 20's and 30's but now I am sometimes present in a hazy foggy way, and sometimes I leave completely and only return later. So how do you explain this. It is so hard. I haven't find the right words yet.

as far as the consult. Well, I tell you when I decided to change therapist and go to a p-doc I was scared. I didn't think I would tell him anything about what my therapist, the first one, said about DID/ or dissociation in the first place. But in that first session it came up quickly by him and it was ok. The way he brought it up was ok. And he was experienced with it and he was so much better. Never has he made me felt like it is anything but ok and a gift, although it hard to see it like that. He said without it you might not have survived your childhood. But now it can be a hard way to live. So I know how you feel about seeing a new doc, if they have experience with DD/DID
then they will know how to talk to you and make you feel ok. And if your T has set this up then it is likely she found someone who has experience with it. Mine is helping although I am fighting him. As he says I am struggling with trusting him
but that was to be expected. It is a struggling, and I sure that is part of it for you. and the biggest of them all is the trust we don't feel for ourselves.

Maybe what I say helps you. Maybe it doesnt. I do think dissociation is different because each brain in each individual is unique and therefore so is the disorder.

rsk

 

Re: confusion Muffled

Posted by Phillipa on January 27, 2008, at 19:54:38

In reply to Re: confusion Muffled, posted by rskontos on January 27, 2008, at 18:42:01

Muffled thanks such an excellent article and explanation. Is a frugue state somewhat the same? Or just not realizing you may have driven so far the daydreaming stuff. You're a very intelligent person. I highly commend you on your perseverence. You will recover I know you will just a feeling. Love Phillipa

 

Re: confusion Muffled Phillipa

Posted by rskontos on January 28, 2008, at 9:40:48

In reply to Re: confusion Muffled, posted by Phillipa on January 27, 2008, at 19:54:38

No Phillipa fugue state is where you don't remember where you have been when you dissociate. This is time loss. When you wake up in a different place wearing different clothes, in a different place doing different things and have no memory of it. You can lose a hour, a day or weeks or even longer. I have done this many many times as a teenager and for as long as I can remember. It is scary as you don't know what you have done and usually a different identity takes over. rsk

Most articles that describe DD don't really describe the four different types very well. I had my p-doc break it down. And I still don't understand it very well. You can have all of them going on and you can have only one, or two, or just be DD/NOS. And I may still not be describing it accurately.

 

thanks guys (nm)

Posted by muffled on January 28, 2008, at 10:29:41

In reply to Re: good descriptor from Sidran muffled, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 27, 2008, at 17:24:03

 

Re: good descriptor from Sidran

Posted by B2chica on January 28, 2008, at 13:09:30

In reply to good descriptor from Sidran, posted by muffled on January 27, 2008, at 13:58:48

like rsk, my T made me feel like those that dissociate with 'parts' are creative and smart...like a gift as rsk's pdoc put it.

i never realized so many people with SA histories had problems going to dentist...i mean i've had horrible dental experiences so i've always attributed it to that, but what sidran explained some of the similarities really clicked.

 

Re: confusion Muffled rskontos

Posted by Phillipa on January 28, 2008, at 19:14:29

In reply to Re: confusion Muffled Phillipa, posted by rskontos on January 28, 2008, at 9:40:48

Thanks kind of thought that was it but wasn't sure. Good explanation. Phillipa

 

Re: confusion Muffled Phillipa

Posted by rskontos on January 28, 2008, at 19:42:02

In reply to Re: confusion Muffled rskontos, posted by Phillipa on January 28, 2008, at 19:14:29

Thanks I have a good book that does I think a really good job on describing it well enough. I also think the for every person you have with dissociation you will have different versions as well.

rsk

 

Re: confusion Muffled

Posted by B2chica on January 29, 2008, at 7:52:57

In reply to Re: confusion Muffled Phillipa, posted by rskontos on January 28, 2008, at 19:42:02

so is there anywhere i can find some def online desc the four types?


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.