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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on December 31, 2007, at 18:09:48
You around?
M
Posted by star008 on January 1, 2008, at 1:54:40
In reply to Rskontos???, posted by muffled on December 31, 2007, at 18:09:48
Posted by rskontos on January 1, 2008, at 12:56:54
In reply to Rskontos???, posted by muffled on December 31, 2007, at 18:09:48
Thanks muffled, I am here but.........struggled with the DID thing. I.....just don't know.........it is too hard and but new p-doc gave me xanax but haven't taken it.........
thanks for noticing not posting....too many switches all over and flashes so I been gone but checking in some.....
One of my others, thinks we are fine and it is a fight to say we have to go to new doc.....thats all.....
New doc is good, he understands but other one says no we are fine, my control is very flimsy these days....
so i hide....
but when I close my eyes or not i am seeing things i can't make out and they make me very afraid, stomach hurt, chest heavy, cant breathe, cant say no more.....you know how feels it hurts and get scary......so sorry gotta go
r
Posted by muffled on January 1, 2008, at 13:24:42
In reply to Re: Rskontos??? ok but might have triggers for som, posted by rskontos on January 1, 2008, at 12:56:54
Rsk, can you do ONE thing for me?
Just ONE thing.
Just try taking the xanax as prescribed to see if it works for you.
It does WONDERS for me.
I wondered that you might get QUITE disrupted by this new p-doc thing. I think I mentioned this briefly in a post awhile ago. But I didn't want to be a wet blanket.
***ITS OK****
I have found that when there is big change, then there tends to be big internal disruption....
So to me, you are being absolutely NORMAL...in the way we are anyways.
I dunno how helpful that is to you.
You can bmail me if you want, if your too nervous to post.
I like posting cuz it helps others.
But if you too nervous, thats ok, sometimes you have to give and take with your 'peeps'.
There are likely some of your peeps that were/are more attached to your old T. Can you discuss this with p-doc? I think you need to try and calm your internal world, I think this can be done in conjunction with meds.
Try and realize there are alot of different reactions going on internally, and mebbe the meds can help calm others.
They are understandably upset.
They can and will calm down.
I wonder that you can discuss the termination w/old T w/p-doc as this may be quite important to some of your peeps.
ALL of your peeps count.
They all matter.
Post/bmail if you can.
I know its hard right now, but you can achieve some measure of order.
I think meds will help that.
Can you tell your peeps that they WILL be heard, but right now, they won't, unless they can calm down and achieve some order?
Can you tell them you understand that they are upset, but they nedd to SLOW down and give things a chance to move in a more orderly fashion?
Keep teeling your peeps these things.
Over and over and over.
I have found that I need to repeat the same words over SO many times for them to be heard.
Maybe try saying/doing some calming things over and over.
You need to learn some thought stopping techniques for when theres intrusive bad thots.
Basically I just say STOP alound, and redirect my thots elsewhere, hopefully to safer places. I do this as many times as needed. The level of volume on my STOP, corresponds with the intensity of the intrusion.
I hope this is not confusing you.
And of course, as a last addenum, if you feel you are not safe, please consider the safety of hospital for a short term stay as needed to get over this hump.
Be safe.
PLEASE try the xanax as prescribed.
Talk to me.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by ClearSkies on January 1, 2008, at 14:55:31
In reply to Re: Rskontos??? ok but might have triggers for som, posted by muffled on January 1, 2008, at 13:24:42
I second Muffled's excellent suggestion of trying the Xanax to see if it helps.
Hang in there, RSK, we ALL care about you.
ClearSkies
Posted by star008 on January 1, 2008, at 16:09:18
In reply to Re: Rskontos??? ok but might have triggers for som, posted by rskontos on January 1, 2008, at 12:56:54
rsk,,
we know how hard it is.. it is so confusing and so scarey.. It makes me angry that we struggle to deal with damage tht someone else caused to those kids..
a new doc is scarey too and i think you have had too much time to think about it.. You thought it ws great but your ikids are scared that they will be found out so they are all going nuts?? He sounds wonderful and i think they will learn that they are safe with him.. It takes time.. I still ahve one that is terrrified of my T.
it is so hard..be safe.. try the xanax and see if they quiet down
Posted by rskontos on January 1, 2008, at 17:16:08
In reply to Re: Rskontos??? ok but might have triggers for som, posted by muffled on January 1, 2008, at 13:24:42
Wow muffled this is a long reply, i will try the xanax, I was just feeling so badly I didn't want to go to the drug store and today is new years so I will go tomorrow.
Yeah big internal disruption is right and new things are opening up in my minds eye. I see things even if I am awake. New doc says we will address these things. He says all good things bout me bout how we will progress.
but...he asked to see journal when I am ready. I said well I never write with a thought to let anyone see. He says I know...but when you are ready......
then we discuss how Hubby and I have two fights inbetween sessions about me not being "Fixed" (DH's word) what with me having so much therapy all of 9 months. New doc says how much does he know. I say none. Well I try but DH just shuts me down. He says what do you want him to know, I say how hard it is to be in my head all in the time and yet pretend all is ok.
He says he new doc needs to tell him as DH will hear it better from him. I think wow, I never thought he would take over to tell him because yes he will hear it better but.....big risk and he (new doc) says before I say anything I know this is a big risk for you because you are fearful of being rejected. WTF can he read minds I ask myself. And then everyone inside is all chattering. and when he asks me other questions I can't answer well and this unravels me only I don't say it does. Because some questions I must have time for and think about my answer. but I dont say this so for all the good things he is saying I am focused on how I didn't answer well.He does say I need to find something to use my gifts and skills of which is under utilized. And he starts to name several of my secret dreams again WTF is he mind reading. I don't let on that these are special too me. I tell him that meeting my h and telling him my stuff is personal and a big step and reading my journal is perhaps the biggest step. He says I know. He then says I know that for now I am IRL your biggest ally and I know how it means to you. I just sit there. We discuss some of my others which I tell him makes me so uncomfortable but I talk anyway. Then the hour is over. I revealed alot and I didnt do it clearly enough for me to feel good but maybe I couldn't feel good with what I said no matter how I said it. I haven't ever revealed to anyone what I told him. so I guess my reaction was to be expected.
I am doing better now. I am sitting peacefully watching the snow fall. I feel isolated. I will get the xanax because like the new Dr.X said I want you to have some calm in your life. So I am to take it when I start to feel overwhelmed or if I have a hard time going out in public.Muffled I have told my peeps that I think he is good for us all. One of them thinks we are fine and have no problems. She will say over and over it don't matter. She interferes when I drive us there. She is the reason the first time we were 40 mins. late.
Well I need to go now, family duty. take care all and thanks for caring.
r
Posted by muffled on January 1, 2008, at 17:40:01
In reply to Re: Rskontos??? ok but might have triggers for som, posted by rskontos on January 1, 2008, at 17:16:08
I am GLAD p-doc seems to have good understanding. This must be a releif.
I hope the xanax works well for you.
Its SO good for me.
I too have a part that absolutely denies. Its a stumbling block all right.
I don't 'switch' and feel my peeps as strongly as you do (I more like a DDNOS, not DID).
So its more of an annoyance than an actual physical problem. It can cause inner disagreements, but it cannot make me late for appts. I think that part agrees that mebbe others have work to do. But its perfectly well adjusted itself, and LOL, when its around, it IS! But it doesn't seem to stay for some unknown reason. Wish it would.
Anyhow, I wish you the very best.
M
Posted by lovelorn on January 1, 2008, at 19:01:05
In reply to Re: Rskontos??? ok but might have triggers for som, posted by rskontos on January 1, 2008, at 17:16:08
Glad to read your connection with the new pdoc is still so strong. By the way you describe it, I think you will probably be making leaps and bounds of progress in the coming months. It won't always be easy, but it sounds like the both of you are a great for eachother. Hope it will get easier and less fractious for your different parts in good time.
Posted by rskontos on January 1, 2008, at 19:16:38
In reply to Re: Rskontos??? ok but might have triggers for som » rskontos, posted by star008 on January 1, 2008, at 16:09:18
I will star......thanks my house is a little tops turvy now too. I see Dr X tomorrow again.
r
Posted by rskontos on January 1, 2008, at 19:20:08
In reply to Re: Rskontos??? ok but might have triggers for som » rskontos, posted by lovelorn on January 1, 2008, at 19:01:05
Thanks Lovelorn. He is good and good with my thing no matter who in my head wants to disagree. It is like him is in my head at times. I know it is a struggle like it is for all of here at Babble and it does so much help to know I have friends here that care.
I too hope it will get less fractious but since I feel so fragmented anything could be an improvement. LOL
I will settle for just more connections or any at this point.
again thanks for the reply. r
Posted by rskontos on January 1, 2008, at 19:21:32
In reply to Re: Rskontos??? ok but might have triggers for som, posted by muffled on January 1, 2008, at 17:40:01
Posted by rskontos on January 1, 2008, at 19:22:24
In reply to Re: Rskontos??? ok but might have triggers for som, posted by ClearSkies on January 1, 2008, at 14:55:31
This is the end of the thread.
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