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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rgb on November 18, 2007, at 9:54:15
I spend most of my free time on the net, and I suppose many here do as well. I'm wondering how much of my lack of activity is intrinsic, and how much is due to all the attention being absorbed by the internet?
I sometimes wonder whether I would have been much more active if there had been no computers, or whether I would just have stared at the ceiling all day.
I really don't want to argue about language so I won't start the "is it an addiction" argument here :) But I have to say that I find the computer an attention magnet that it takes a lot of concentration to pull away from.
But again, I'm wondering - is this because I find the computer so great, or because I find the alternatives so unappealing? Of course you don't know me so you won't be able to answer that for me, but any thoughts?
Posted by rskontos on November 18, 2007, at 12:46:19
In reply to Demotivation vs. attention absorbed by the 'net, posted by rgb on November 18, 2007, at 9:54:15
Personally I am going with the flow. My T says not to fight too much what I seem to need to do. So I am on here when I feel the urge so bad and it has helped me. I have read threads that have helped me see deeper into my own issues. So I don't think it is a crutch or a waste and yes probably I would be doing something like watching TV reading a book or looking at the walls. Which I think are ok because sometimes I still do those things and sometimes I just need to unplug and sometimes I have moments of clarity. The way I look at it is right now all my work is in my head not physical and while that looks like no work or just staring at the ceiling or wall it is a huge amount of work. I need to do this to get healthy. One of my few good friends that I thought had her act together told me she has spent 5-6 years in therapy going once to twice a week for 3 years then going every two eventually once a month and still once a month. She said it has taken all she has to get where she is. Still has bad days but all in all it is better now. She is still on an AD. She is a doctor and with a thriving practice and you would have never known it. She has helped me find the T I use and has helped me with feeling bad about where I am. She has helped with demotivation too. So don't look at what you doing as demotivation. If you get a small ounce of help out of surfing or being at Babble then that is help. It is important to take what you can where you can because you never know where it will come from. I just recently found some of the best advice from my neuro a most unlikely source. She gave me some wisdom I thought would only come from a Therapist. I almost cancelled my appt thinking it would be a waste of time and yet this pearl of thought came from her. I still marvel over it. So I now think it comes down to how we think about what we are doing too. Rethink your focus and you might be surprise what you get out of what you are doing.....rk
Posted by Daisym on November 18, 2007, at 13:08:33
In reply to Re: Demotivation vs. attention absorbed by the 'ne, posted by rskontos on November 18, 2007, at 12:46:19
I think the appeal of online boards like this one is about the connection they offer. You don't feel so alone, particularly with issues and secrets that are so very hard to say out loud. I think we spend time writing and surfing because in those moments the loneliness receeds a little and the pressure to keep it all in is eased. And for me, I am constantly checking to see if I'm doing it right -- is there a shorter, faster, better way to feel better. Or, in comparison to everyone else, am I just wallowing in a pathetic way, making yet another mountain out of a molehill?
I'm struck by rskontos comment, "One of my few good friends that I thought had her act together told me she has spent 5-6 years in therapy" -- It speaks to how well we can hide our private hell and go through life with our false self firmly out front, hiding all the pain inside. And no matter what we tell each other here, "out there" when you say you've been in therapy 5 years, people wonder what is wrong with you that it is/has taken so long.
As far as a demotivator, I think you can get stuck in checking, over and over, looking for that connection - for those reply posts or for a thread to add to. But I also think you can use your computer time as a deterrant to other harmful choices -- instead of hurting yourself, you type out a paragraph about wanting to -- or you can use it as a reward to actually get yourself to finish something -- I'll check Babble when I've done my homework, or put the dishes away -- etc.
I think rskontos is so right about doing what is useful and letting yourself get what you need. It is moderation in all things that works best here.
Posted by Dinah on November 18, 2007, at 14:17:04
In reply to Demotivation vs. attention absorbed by the 'net, posted by rgb on November 18, 2007, at 9:54:15
I probably use the computer as I used to use books. Not necessarily the internet. I also have databases cataloging my books and DVD's and CD's. And enter photos into the computer, and old LP's into digital.
But I've always had some way to disengage from the world. I wish I was one of those interested involved people who enjoyed spending time with others. But the fact is that I can't tolerate too much stimulation. So if I had no books, no internet, no iPod, I'd probably close my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears, and hum.
Posted by rgb on November 18, 2007, at 15:01:10
In reply to Re: Demotivation vs. attention absorbed by the 'ne, posted by Daisym on November 18, 2007, at 13:08:33
Hello,
I didn't mean Psychobabble in particular, that's ok I think. I was talking about spending the whole day at random things on the net (news comments etc.) on the weekend, or the whole day after coming home on weekdays...
Posted by rskontos on November 18, 2007, at 15:10:31
In reply to Clarification, posted by rgb on November 18, 2007, at 15:01:10
RGB, I knew you meant that and Babble probably and I still think it is ok. rk
This is the end of the thread.
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