Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 791069

Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Fun house mirror

Posted by Dinah on October 24, 2007, at 9:16:48

Does anyone ever twist what their therapist says and does into something ugly even when they know it isn't true?

I do, not infrequently.

My therapist came back yesterday, and it was ok tho I'd largely forgotten who he was. The session was quite light. Both because I felt distant and because I'm immensely busy right now and don't have time to fall apart. I did anyway. Came home and slept for hours.

But last night my mind kept replaying a fun house mirror version of what he said. There were no disparaging words accompanying it this time. Often there are. Just these intrusive and twisted versions of incredibly detailed memories. I *know* things didn't happen that way. I *know* it. Yet it took forever to fall asleep.

Maybe I'm trying to take advantage of the distance to increase the distance and cut down on or eliminate therapy.

I wish I knew what the right thing to do is.

 

Re: Fun house mirror » Dinah

Posted by Dory on October 24, 2007, at 10:46:58

In reply to Fun house mirror, posted by Dinah on October 24, 2007, at 9:16:48

as you know, i am having some of the same struggles b/c he was away... but i also do what you said... only i get into such a panc that i have to call him to be sure he isn't mad or wanting me to go away. It simply does not help to *know* he isn't.

i don't know what you should do.. but i often find my answers through writing about it... maybe write a letter to him, and give or not, but one that explains how you feel... maybe that will give you an answer.

 

Re: Fun house mirror » Dinah

Posted by annierose on October 24, 2007, at 12:50:53

In reply to Fun house mirror, posted by Dinah on October 24, 2007, at 9:16:48

>>>I'd largely forgotten who he was.<<<

Is that true Dinah? I can hardly believe that in a week's absence, you could have forgotten the sturdy therapist that has been there for you over the last 12 years.

I know what my t would say. "Do you want to forget me?" or "How could you forget me?" or "Did you think I forgot you?" ... yes, that's it. Did it feel more like that?

The answer, talk, talk and more talking. It's tiring, I know.

The fun house mirror sounds like you want to mock the words he used or the tone. I'm sure that session did not feel good. It often takes more than one session to get back to the familiar feelings you are used to feeling.

 

Re: Fun house mirror » annierose

Posted by Dinah on October 24, 2007, at 13:49:03

In reply to Re: Fun house mirror » Dinah, posted by annierose on October 24, 2007, at 12:50:53

It might be because I've been so darn busy that I need to distance myself from everything else. But I do have a history of having trouble remembering who he is to me when he's gone. Especially in the last year or so. I remember who he is, of course. But I don't remember why I bother to go see him, or viscerally remember who he is emotionally to me.

I daresay there's some ambivalence about whether or not that's a bad thing. There always is with me. On the one hand I like attachment, but on the other hand I mistrust it - particularly this sort of attachment.

It's not that I'm unused to telling myself bad things about my therapist. But this time the intrusive pictures seemed... out of place. I'm not sure if that makes sense.

I'm also not sure that they would achieve their apparent goal. Surely when I'm feeling disconnected isn't a great time to have these distortions thrust upon my mind. If anything, they're more likely to turn my thoughts toward him and mentally refute the ugliness.

So maybe that's the real purpose? Not to make me feel disconnected but to help me feel connected?

Which is just plain weird.

 

Re: Fun house mirror » Dory

Posted by Dinah on October 24, 2007, at 13:52:42

In reply to Re: Fun house mirror » Dinah, posted by Dory on October 24, 2007, at 10:46:58

I'm sure I'll talk to him about it. I generally talk to him even about the stuff I swear I'll never talk to him about. And I suppose it's progress that the images confused me more than they scared me, and I don't feel a strong need to call him to make sure they weren't real. I'm as aware of the distortions as I am of the thread of truth behind them. Distortions would be much less effective if they didn't have at least a thread of truth. :(

I thought I'd gotten better at at least understanding *why* I do the things I do.

 

some things are too scary

Posted by Dinah on October 24, 2007, at 18:54:07

In reply to Re: Fun house mirror » Dory, posted by Dinah on October 24, 2007, at 13:52:42

even to admit to myself.

i think.

 

Re: Fun house mirror » Dinah

Posted by happyflower on October 25, 2007, at 10:06:19

In reply to Re: Fun house mirror » Dory, posted by Dinah on October 24, 2007, at 13:52:42

(((((Dinah)))))))) I don't like those mirrors either, they are NOT fun. But you will be okay, your T will be okay, your relationship will be okay. Take care, Dinah


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.