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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 37. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on July 10, 2007, at 17:35:23
Today my therapist helped me with my new phone when I accidentally turned it off. He has the same model. And I couldn't help wondering if he got a glimpse of him on my speed dial list, prominently displayed on the screen. :) It's not that I call him that often, and especially not from my cell phone, but I like seeing his name there. (Just wait till I download the photo for the photo speed dial). I hope he wasn't too weirded out. He knows that I do stuff like that.
I told him the other day that my ring tone for him was his own voice saying "Hey Dinah, this is Therapist." He thought that was amusing and inventive of me. And I told him that I kept his answering machine messages on my iPod, but that I preferred sometimes to call him just to hear his own answering machine message. He was ok with that. He said he knew I found his voice grounding sometimes, and it would make sense to feel more comforted when I reached out to him (calling) and he responded (as an answering machine message.)
We talked today about possibly cutting down to once a week, and my concerns about that. I told him that it was really great in a marriage, say, or friendship to know each other really really well. But that in therapy it's not like we could curl up on a sofa together, happily watching TV together. He laughed and added "or go to a movie". And that in a therapy relationship, what did you do after the therapist knows every single thought in your head, how you react to everything, and why.
Sooo.... He says to go ahead and get the Ungame, or we can take a card from the issues envelope. He says that sometimes therapy can hit a plateau, but that that doesn't mean there won't be crests and troughs ahead. I dunno tho. It's not like this is a result of a huge breakthrough followed by a period of consolidation. He did say he'd try not to say "I know" to everything I bring up. :)
I wonder what it feels like, as a therapist, to have this person so attached to you? At one point, I think it bothered him, but I don't think it does anymore.
Posted by annierose on July 10, 2007, at 18:03:50
In reply to Comfy cozy, posted by Dinah on July 10, 2007, at 17:35:23
It feels like one of those sessions you will need to keep close to your heart so you will never ever forget how wonderful it feels to be so warmly understood.
I don't think your t would get weirded out by anything. He accepts you just as you are and understands your need to have him close.
I'm in a good place in therapy too --- even though she is leaving on a 3 week vacation this Friday. I will be okay.
Posted by Dinah on July 10, 2007, at 18:39:15
In reply to Re: Comfy cozy » Dinah, posted by annierose on July 10, 2007, at 18:03:50
What is it with these long vacations?! I'm glad you're feeling up to the separation. I don't think I'm to that point in therapy yet. He's opening an office closer to where he lives, and I'm feeling a lot of abandonment over it, even though he'll keep his current office. I have the idea, right or not, that he would like to eventually have a thriving practice there so he doesn't have to drive so far. And while he told me he chose the secondary office with the ease of my getting there in mind, that still brings back lots of abandonment issues from when he moved.
I'm not sure that I felt so good about this session. In some ways it was nice, but in some ways it was frustrating. I feel like I've put up an emotional barrier sometime. I feel it with him, and I feel it with Babble even. Anywhere that I approach with my emotional side first. I don't like it. It makes my life feel choppy and disconnected.
I don't know how seriously he takes my feelings of frustration. He realizes that when I melt down, I need him again. But I'm looking for something between the meltdowns. He asked if my life seemed boring when I'm not in crisis. And I don't think that's it exactly. I like my life best when it's boring. I really do think that it's more to do with the fact that therapy is all about exploring one member of the duo, and I feel thoroughly explored and at a loss on what to talk about. It wouldn't be a problem at all if we could, indeed, sit together comfortably doing something else.
It sounds as if you're in a really good place in therapy, and in life? You deserve it. You've worked hard.
Posted by Poet on July 10, 2007, at 20:35:16
In reply to Comfy cozy, posted by Dinah on July 10, 2007, at 17:35:23
Hi Dinah,
I like your personalized ring tone. I don't have an ipod, though I could do a default ring to her phone number if I can figure out how to do that.
It's so funny when my T calls my home phone because she never identifies herself, it's just hi Poet...I recognize her voice as I don't have caller ID on the landline. My cell phone, I see her number. Last time she called me on it she said *why are you answering your phone at work?* I didn't say because I knew it was you, though that would have been the truth.
I would love to go to a movie with my T. Darn boundaries. It would be nice to sit beside her in complete silence (remember I have a degree in film history, I stay through the entire end credits even if they are in a language other than English) and afterwards talk about the movie. She would get insight into me. We do talk about movies in session.
Okay back to reality. I think your T is right about the plateaus and maybe pulling something out of that envelope. My T has many things that she's left up to me to bring up and I don't. Kind of an invisible issues file. Argh. Hope we don't go there tomorrow. Hmm, what movie have I seen lately?
Poet
Posted by Dinah on July 11, 2007, at 1:07:39
In reply to Re: Comfy cozy » Dinah, posted by Poet on July 10, 2007, at 20:35:16
:-)
I'm not sure my therapist and I have enough in common to comfortably chat about movies. I'd probably learn something about him I'd rather not know. Hmmm... that's probably also a chance with the ungame. No wonder I've unconsciously put off buying it. Come to think of it, I even brought up that concern once. He said it was true that when he's played it in the past (with clients younger than me) he was careful to screen his answers to get across the message he was trying to get across.
The rare times that my therapist emailed me, he always signed with both his first and last names, and it always bugged me. Like I know that many [T's first name] writing from [T's email address]?
Geesh.
Posted by Angela2 on July 11, 2007, at 14:33:52
In reply to Comfy cozy, posted by Dinah on July 10, 2007, at 17:35:23
aww, I like your title "comfy cozy" :)
That's cool that you are so close w/ your therapist. I wish that I was with mine. I've never called her, though, I don't know if I'm allowed to. I've never asked her.
Posted by Racer on July 11, 2007, at 23:09:24
In reply to Re: Comfy cozy » Poet, posted by Dinah on July 11, 2007, at 1:07:39
> > The rare times that my therapist emailed me, he always signed with both his first and last names, and it always bugged me. Like I know that many [T's first name] writing from [T's email address]?
>
> Geesh.Actually, that sounds like a phenomenon I experience with a lot of doctors -- I have trouble with addressing them as "Dr So'N'So," when they do not address me as "Mrs X." I have so much trouble with trying to "win approval" from perceived authority figures, which I'm trying hard to work on, so I am very aware of the name thing. For several years now, I've avoided calling any doctor "Dr Whatever."
If I were a in your T's shoes -- which would be too big for me, since I have little feet -- I might do that to try to even the intimacy issues, if that makes sense. I wouldn't want to sign with just my first name, if that felt too intimate and personal, but I wouldn't want to sound so impersonal as to write "Dr X," either. And I might end up writing my full name...
But, that is only one guess...
Posted by Dinah on July 12, 2007, at 20:39:03
In reply to Re: Comfy cozy, posted by Angela2 on July 11, 2007, at 14:33:52
He's not generally good on the phone, although a couple of times he's really been great. Still, knowing I can call him keeps me from needing him too much.
Have you asked your therapist about phone contact?
Posted by Dinah on July 12, 2007, at 20:41:26
In reply to Re: Comfy cozy » Dinah, posted by Racer on July 11, 2007, at 23:09:24
He identifies himself as {First Name} on the phone and in phone messages, and in fact he always did.
I suspect that he is not terribly comfortable with typing, or emails. And so in response he follows a formula. I never thought I'd find something he was worse at than phone calls, but he is absolutely positively worse on emails.
Posted by Dinah on July 12, 2007, at 20:42:57
In reply to Comfy cozy, posted by Dinah on July 10, 2007, at 17:35:23
I know that relying on gimmicks to keep boredom at bay might be seen as a sign that therapy should be reevaluated. I'd even think that if I were reading it from someone else.
But I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for that.
Posted by Maria01 on July 12, 2007, at 22:05:20
In reply to I ordered the Ungame, posted by Dinah on July 12, 2007, at 20:42:57
I dunno...I guess my take is a little different. I think boredom/routine creeps into all of our relationships, regardless of what kind of relationship it is. IMO, every relationship needs new things introduced into it from time to time to keep it "fresh" so to speak. Not so much a reflection on the relationship as much as it's a reflection on human nature in general.
Just my .02 =)
The Ungame should be fun!
Posted by Dinah on July 13, 2007, at 0:17:28
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame, posted by Maria01 on July 12, 2007, at 22:05:20
Thanks.
I'm a bit afraid I'll learn more than I need to about him, but I'm sure he'll keep his therapist hat on and be careful.
Posted by sunnydays on July 13, 2007, at 7:25:53
In reply to Re: Comfy cozy » Racer, posted by Dinah on July 12, 2007, at 20:41:26
My T is a really slow typer (I want to do it for him when he's putting appts. in the computer). But he lets me email him as much as I want, thankfully, because it helps so much. I don't know if I'd say he's worse. He's more helpful on the phone, for sure, but that's just because his email responses are always only a sentence or two. A couple times I've gotten multiple paragraphs, but it was when I was really in crisis, and it must have taken him forever. Anyway, I know where you're coming from with the emails Dinah. It's hard only getting a little response when I've written pages.
sunnydays
Posted by Angela2 on July 13, 2007, at 17:38:24
In reply to Re: Comfy cozy » Angela2, posted by Dinah on July 12, 2007, at 20:39:03
I had an appointment w/ her today and forgot to ask. Tho I was going to ask. But I'm sorta thinking about switching Ts..
Posted by OzLand on July 13, 2007, at 22:04:04
In reply to I ordered the Ungame, posted by Dinah on July 12, 2007, at 20:42:57
Okay; I admit; I don't know what the Ungame is. What is it?
Posted by Dinah on July 13, 2007, at 22:48:14
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame » Dinah, posted by OzLand on July 13, 2007, at 22:04:04
I hope that link works. :)
Posted by Honore on July 14, 2007, at 10:23:21
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame, posted by Dinah on July 13, 2007, at 22:48:14
Sounds like fun, maybe. Wish we could all play.
Honore
Posted by confuzyq on July 14, 2007, at 14:49:30
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame, posted by Dinah on July 13, 2007, at 22:48:14
Hi Dinah, thanks for a great idea! I think I'll get this for my family. My mom would be thrilled, as she's been trying to get us to play any board game, monopoly, scrabble, etc. when I come for a visit (they live in another state). But we don't all enjoy the same subject matter, and my bro and me haven't taken her wishes very seriously. This type of game seems like just what we need.
I wanted to ask, do you have any other favorite conversation/communication-enhancing games? Having "winners" would be ok, but in my family, anything very complicated would be subject to avoidance or procrastination. All players would be adults, and I wouldn't want total fluff and cliche, but to accommodate certain of them (read: 80-something dad), the subjects shouldn't get TOO personal.
Either way thanks, I'm glad this one came up! :-)
Posted by Dinah on July 15, 2007, at 10:18:18
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame » Dinah, posted by confuzyq on July 14, 2007, at 14:49:30
My family and I laughed ourselves dizzy with Would You Rather
They're a little miffed at me because I'm too good at reasoning out their choices, but the answers are hilarious, and the challenges can be too, but allowing enough choices so that even I and my son can participate without undue embarassment.
Posted by Dinah on July 15, 2007, at 13:50:12
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame, posted by Honore on July 14, 2007, at 10:23:21
Well, if it came down to it, I don't see that we couldn't all play. :) Seems like the most important part of the game is the questions, not the board pieces.
I laughed later the day I posted about The Key. Not that I don't frequently use that terminology (and not just with my therapist) for being on the other side of an ah-hah experience.
But it suddenly struck me that when I was telling him my reservations about using the Ungame, I likened it to a long married couple going to a key party.
Which made him laugh, but maybe also made him understand what I've been saying.
The funny thing was that after I said it, I realized it would be fun to have a key party of Babblers, and have a short experience with each others' therapists. But maybe not....
It would be fun if it were feasible to have a Psychology Board Babble Fest where we not only came ourselves but paid our therapists to fly over and have a Babble therapist convention of sorts.
Posted by confuzyq on July 15, 2007, at 15:23:49
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame » confuzyq, posted by Dinah on July 15, 2007, at 10:18:18
Thanks, looks like a blast! If consistently being able to figure out my familys' reasoning could be annoying to them, they better prepare for some very bad cases of that lol. They might even have to break out the special-occasion-only peach schnapps for this one! ;o)
> My family and I laughed ourselves dizzy with Would You Rather
>
> http://www.amazon.com/Zobmondo%2521%2521-Would-You-Rather-Boardgame/dp/B000232ZK8/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/102-2773771-9438552?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1184512516&sr=8-2
>
> They're a little miffed at me because I'm too good at reasoning out their choices, but the answers are hilarious, and the challenges can be too, but allowing enough choices so that even I and my son can participate without undue embarassment.
Posted by OzLand on July 15, 2007, at 16:50:50
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame, posted by Dinah on July 13, 2007, at 22:48:14
The link worked; thanks. Now I know!
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 15, 2007, at 18:19:39
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame » Honore, posted by Dinah on July 15, 2007, at 13:50:12
I love the idea of a convention of our Ts. Can you imagine what they would say to each other? Oh, to be a fly on the wall during those breakout sessions. LOL
Posted by Dinah on July 15, 2007, at 18:38:08
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on July 15, 2007, at 18:19:39
I can see it now.
"It's so good to finally meet someone who has had the same experiences in therapy" ;)
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 15, 2007, at 19:56:19
In reply to Re: I ordered the Ungame » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on July 15, 2007, at 18:38:08
LOL.
And Daisy's T could be the keynote speaker...
"How to say the right things in therapy even when you don't know what the heck you're doing..."
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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