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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LadyBug on July 9, 2007, at 14:59:39
Great, I'm going through the hardest thing in my life, a divorce, and my T is out of the country.
I'm seriously depressed. Yesterday my husband said some really cruel things to me. I haven't moved out yet, things are still in process. My 16 year old daughter is going to be the death of me yet! Long story, but she doesn't seem to care if she makes good decisions or not, no matter what trouble she gets into.
Yesterday I was so down and feeling totally hopeless about my life, I just took off by myself for the afternoon. I would have called my T but she's not available. I won't call the T's that are taking her calls. NO way! I just want to die and be done with this crap of a life. I have nothing but sorrow, I'm so down I can't stand it. I don't get to see my T until July 26th. I know I just have to make it! But the pain of it all is more than I can handle. I go to the Dr. today for my medication refill. I don't want to up my dose, I've been on the same dose for so long and don't want to add to it.I know I can't and won't call a hot line, but yesterday if not for the thoughts of hurting my kids, I'd be a goner for sure. I hate my life so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No need to repond, don't waste the energy. I want to cry, but I can't I'm at work and I'm covering for the receptionist of a district office. How cheery can I pretend to be? You'd be amazed, but I'm tired of pretending..........
sick of life LadyBug
Posted by Phillipa on July 9, 2007, at 17:01:40
In reply to I'm so down.........., posted by LadyBug on July 9, 2007, at 14:59:39
Lady Bug please don't do anthing to harm yourself as you said yesterday it was your kids that kept you from hurting yourself. Maybe call that hotline and just talk with them. Love Phillipa
Posted by LadyBug on July 9, 2007, at 17:10:15
In reply to Re: Trigger Lady Bug above.........., posted by Phillipa on July 9, 2007, at 17:01:40
Sorry for not adding a trigger, and I won't do anything stupid. I'm just dragging on the ground below the dirt.
Posted by JoniS on July 9, 2007, at 17:56:41
In reply to I'm so down.........., posted by LadyBug on July 9, 2007, at 14:59:39
LadyBug,
I'm so sorry that you are hurting so much. Please hang in there. I don't know what it's like to go through a divorce, but I have no doubt that it is very very painful. I do know what it is like to feel like the only reason not to hurt yourself is because of your kids. I was in that pit a few years ago. I came extremely close to divorcing 4 years ago but with the help of my T I stayed in the marriage and have tried to heal from the trauma that occurred. Somedays I feel strong, some days I feel weak. I still can't function like I could before all that stuff. I take 3 Rxs for depression, and I still battle it daily. But I don't mean to make this about me. I just wanted to try to encourage you, and let you know you are precious to your family and friends, and you can be happy again. You are strong to have come this far, and you can hold on till your T gets back. In the meantime know that you matter, even to someone like me who only knows you from your BB posts. Please let your fellow Babblers support you while you wait for your T to return.Wish I could take it all away. Hold on to yourself.
((((((((((LadyBug)))))))))))
Posted by muffled on July 9, 2007, at 20:49:29
In reply to I'm so down.........., posted by LadyBug on July 9, 2007, at 14:59:39
(((((((((((((((LB))))))))))))))))
Sorry you so down.
Thats sucks.
Yeah, it will get better, eventually.
Maybe this is an opportunity to show how you can use your skills to survive w/o T?
Sigh. Just sucks.
Guess I not much help.
Just you know I am thinking good thots of you LB.
I think its extra hard when you goto pretend to be OK.
Its exhausting.
Take extra care of yourself, and pamper yourself and give your self breaks whenever you can.
Hope you can get out of there soon.
(((LB)))
M
Posted by canadagirl on July 9, 2007, at 21:56:56
In reply to I'm so down.........., posted by LadyBug on July 9, 2007, at 14:59:39
That is so hard, to be going through all of this with no support at this time. Also it's hard to deal with teens at that age your daughter is at. They (16 year olds) can test the limits of even the strongest parent. I feel for you. Is there anything you can do, just for you right now?
Posted by LadyBug on July 9, 2007, at 23:23:27
In reply to Re: I'm so down.......... » LadyBug, posted by canadagirl on July 9, 2007, at 21:56:56
I saw my Dr. today and he upped my medication and told me to let him know in 4 weeks if it's helping. My therapist is gone for a month, well, for 2 1/2 more weeks. If I can just get out of the fog.
I'm taking 2 1/2 days off work this week to go to my parents home. I will be with my siblings going through my parents house cleaning out all their stuff since they won't be coming home ever again, to live that is. What a project, I don't think they have thrown anything away for the 50 plus years they have lived there! At least I will have a few days away from my husband! I hate being in the same room as him these days. I will miss my girls though. They are my whole life!
I miss my T and you guys here at babble get to put up with me for a few weeks until she returns and I can see her on July 26th.
I keep thinking if I get more sleep I'll do better but I feel so tired all the time. Yup it's called depression!
Thanks for being here for me! I appreciate it so much. I'm hoping I can lift myself up tomorrow and it will be a better day. I wish I had something to look forward too. I have no money right now, I have no vacations planned, I miss my friends that are mostly on vacation's right now.
I'll stop being so negative now....
LadyBug
Posted by Dinah on July 10, 2007, at 19:48:53
In reply to Re: I went to the Dr., posted by LadyBug on July 9, 2007, at 23:23:27
That's got to be rough to clear out their house. :(
What a time for your therapist to be missing.
((((Ladybug)))
I wish I had something useful to say.
This is the end of the thread.
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