Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 695108

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Hello- hope this is ok

Posted by Vinalee on October 15, 2006, at 19:54:39

I've been lurking for a few days now- I only stumbled across this site by accident because I was doing a Google for 'I hate Therapy'... because I do!

So just to introduce myself a bit...but at the same time I want to keep it as short and interesting as possible.

I have suffered with depression since childhood. I think I started self-injuring about the age of 8... can't pinpoint that exactly.

I am, (or I think I am!!) just now starting to get better... via all the self-help books, alternative therapy aids that I can find. I've been working on this for years. Still not there yet- else I wouldn't be sitting here typing at 2:00 in the morning, would I?

Do I hate therapy??? Yes, I do.
In an attempt to sort myself out I actually started taking counselling and therapy courses, which made me even MORE disillusioned... so much of it is just jargon and role-playing.

I'm not going to type any more- because I could waffle all night, and I don't know all of you so don't want to be intrusive.

I have to see my T tomorrow. I dread it- (she phoned and cancelled last week- I wish she'd do that all the time) it's just SO boring.

Anyway- thanks for listening!

Vee

 

Re: Hello- hope this is ok

Posted by wishingstar on October 15, 2006, at 20:37:02

In reply to Hello- hope this is ok, posted by Vinalee on October 15, 2006, at 19:54:39

Welcome vinalee! I'm not the most active poster on this board by any stretch, but I thought I'd say hello anyway. I found this board several months ago through google also, and I dont remember the exact search I was doing.. but I'm sure it was similar to yours.

I have to wonder though, and hopefully this isnt too big a question coming from someone you dont know... if you hate therapy that much, is it possible you arent with the right therapist? Or is it just emotionally difficult and that's why you hate it? I know most of us here have had those moments.

Welcome :)

 

Re: Hello- hope this is ok

Posted by Vinalee on October 15, 2006, at 21:47:03

In reply to Re: Hello- hope this is ok, posted by wishingstar on October 15, 2006, at 20:37:02

I don't find it difficult at all- just terribly boring. I sit and waffle waffle waffle, pay her then go home.

I was told I would be on a waiting list for over a year for a therapist, (low income= means testing) and so when I finally got a therapist after only(!) 11 months I was really pleased... thought I could finally start getting better. (as I said before- during those 11 months I actually completed the first year of a counselling skills university course in an attempt to 'cure' myself.)

During my second session, I opened up and tried to confide to my T- forgot it was just a 50-minute session, not an hour. I was distressed- she looked at the clock, said 'sorry have to stop there- see you next week'- I walked out stunned into busy intersection outside her office and was nearly hit by a car.

Difficult? Nooooo... defensive and alive..... Yes.

Vinalee

 

Re: Hello- hope this is ok » Vinalee

Posted by Daisym on October 15, 2006, at 22:52:42

In reply to Re: Hello- hope this is ok, posted by Vinalee on October 15, 2006, at 21:47:03

I've done that space out thing. So more questions, OK? How long have you been in therapy? And if you find it so boring, why bother going? Sounds like you have a quick mind and are sorting things out on your own.

Is there a specific issue that you need help with? It can be hard when you first get started to plunge ahead and still watch the clock. I watch my own time (I'm a control freak) but in group she gives us a five minute warning so we aren't caught by surprise. Ask - this might work for you.

I hope it gets better. Welcome to Babble.
Daisy

 

Re: Hello- hope this is ok » Vinalee

Posted by wishingstar on October 15, 2006, at 23:50:42

In reply to Re: Hello- hope this is ok, posted by Vinalee on October 15, 2006, at 21:47:03

I understand how hard it is to get a T with a low income... especially a good one! I also have financial issues but fortunately have been pretty lucky when it comes to therapy (although you might not think so if you read some of my recent posts).. but I really am sorry you've had such a rough time. 11 months is an awfully long time to wait.

It can be very hard to try to open up and be vulnerable with someone, only to be kicked out the door 50 minutes later. I've strugged with that quite a bit. Hopefully in time, as you get more used to the structure and your T, it will get easier. How long have you been in therapy? I got the sense that it wasnt too long, but please correct me if I'm wrong.

It's okay to be defensive and protect yourself when you need to. It can serve an important function. Your T should understand and probably even expect that you wont be able to open up completely right away.

Again, welcome. :)

 

Re: Hello- hope this is ok » Vinalee

Posted by muffled on October 16, 2006, at 12:02:37

In reply to Re: Hello- hope this is ok, posted by Vinalee on October 15, 2006, at 21:47:03

Well nice to meet you .
I'm sorry bout your T experience.
Mebbe you got a bad T?
Or mebbe you guys could set up, at the beginning, what you wish to accomplish or talk about in this session, so as to get right down to business?
Took me a long time to be comfortable w/my T.
We BOTH learning along the way, what works and what don't work.
Its taken awhile.
But we getting there. I really think we are.
Hope things get better for you,
Take care,
Muffled

 

Re: Hello- hope this is ok

Posted by Vinalee on October 17, 2006, at 10:04:39

In reply to Re: Hello- hope this is ok » Vinalee, posted by muffled on October 16, 2006, at 12:02:37

Thank-you for all your replies... sorry I didn't answer sooner- was a bit down yesterday.

I think I find therapy frustrating because I do so want to get better; I've been dealing with depression ever since I can remember, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this!

I've read just about all the self-help books I can tolerate; taken up meditation, read all the self-healing tips I could find. It just doesn't seem to get any easier. For a few days I think I'm ok, and then the big black tsunami comes out of nowhere and pulls me under.

I did have therapy about 2 years ago until I could no longer afford it- then was on a waiting list for nearly another year to get this means-tested one... been going to her for about 6 months now.

(did I say this in my original post? I can't remember...) I did a Level 1 certified counselling course during the year I was waiting, (and part of Level 2- had to drop out) in an attempt to keep working on my issues... I thought I might get some insights that way. (sigh)

Anyway, thanks again for your encouragement!
vin-ee


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