Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 673460

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

therapy

Posted by Estella on August 3, 2006, at 22:59:01

I had a good session yesterday. Couple of weeks ago I was thinking that we needed to have a chat about what we were doing in therapy. There doesn't seem to be a focus. She was talking about cutting sessions back to fortnightly or monthly. I was starting to think that... There wasn't much point in my seeing her. She is a nice lady who is trying to help, don't get me wrong. But I don't feel particularly connected to her. I'm not at all sure we are on the same wavelength really.

Something came up so I didn't get in to see her last week. This week... We had a good session, however. I managed to establish something too... It is a womens health councelling service. It isn't connected to community mental health. As such they don't really deal with psychiatric problems, they deal more with rape councelling and pregnancy councelling and stuff like that. So...

We chatted about my social anxiety. Most especially around eating. Most especially around... Amounts. Have issues there... Eating out is a source of anxiety for me. And socialising in general. I tend to get caught up in intense conversations with a single person rather than chatting with a group. Not so good at the general chat with more people. Also... Hostility. I always knew this intellectually but I'm coming to know it experientially too... Philosophy is a fairly confontational discipline. Question time can result in yelling and talking over and covert insults etc etc. Nearly walked out of a seminar the other day because I felt unsafe. I didn't walk. But I was surely surprised at how I felt as a result of witnessing that interaction. I was just listening. But I was surely surprised. And I realise that... In academia... In philosophy... That mode of interaction is something that some professors do and then students try and emulate and... Well it feels like a pissing contest to me... But others don't really see it that way. If you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen... If you can't stand intense critique then what are you doing philosophy for?

Find myself... I need to find myself. I'm pretty quiet. Just finding my feet really. But you know... I don't want to be like that. Appropriate assertiveness. I need to learn that so I can stand up to people. But I don't ever want to stoop to that level. That is the way I see it yeah. Had a good chat about that in therapy. Next week... Well... We shall see...

 

Re: therapy Ľ Estella

Posted by muffled on August 4, 2006, at 13:23:53

In reply to therapy, posted by Estella on August 3, 2006, at 22:59:01

Wow, cool post Estella. You seem so clear. Ihope you can find a T tyhat is suitable for you. But maybe the one you got will be able to learn with you.
Mine is learning with me. She good that way. Game for about anything. She don't look tough on the outside, but inside she is!!!
Take care,
Muffly

 

Re: therapy

Posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 19:50:45

In reply to Re: therapy Ľ Estella, posted by muffled on August 4, 2006, at 13:23:53

hey. thanks muffled. i'm not sure about clear. sometimes when i feel sad things seem kinda clear. i feel... compassionate. or something. i don't know. maybe it is the affective flattening. i need to feel a little sad to be normal. clearheaded and stuff. maybe i'm so used to the excitement the buzz that i interpret peace as sadness.

maybe... i got to thinking. i got to thinking. and i got to thinking my way down... but all that was after the above post.

i love ya muffled.

need to spend less time on the boards...

 

Re: therapy Ľ Estella

Posted by ElaineM on August 5, 2006, at 12:10:36

In reply to therapy, posted by Estella on August 3, 2006, at 22:59:01

Estella: There's something about your post that sounds really sad. I know you said that you had a good session, but it still sounds sad underneath that. I don't know... feel free to tell me that I'm wrong. I can't really tell which came first for you: feeling that you may want to leave and that there was no focus, or your T talking about cutting back sessions. I think it's important to know which came first. I don't know about you, but when my time was coming to an end with LadyT, I had the urge to run from her first -- even though what I wanted more than anything was to be with her even more. Maybe that's just me. I think you should talk to her about what leaving means, or why you'd do it. If anything, perhaps she could help with a referral to someone outside the Womens Center.

Wow, focusing your studies in Philosophy, and having social phobia sounds really challenging. I don't think I'd be brave enough. I always thought of taking an occasional phil. course in school but chickened out every time. It's frustrating when opinions seem to depend more on delivery than content. I've found that intimidation is always a factor in lecture discussions, and the best way students can do that is to either get the professor to support their views, or to at least, sound like the prof. I quit going to discussions very early on in my degree. I think it's great that you continue to go, and not want to stoop to "pissing contests".

Plus, I think that "perforning", and having the mind and ideas to contribute to a discipline, are two different things entirely. Obviously, I don't know about your lectures, but there's also a fine line between valid, professional criticism, and sensational hostility -- respect.

Be who you are. It's okay if it takes time to learn how to be assertive in a way that does't contradict the kind of individual you feel you are. You sound like an introspective and sensitive person.

IT sounds like you have alot of good things to talk about with a T. I hope your next session is a good one.

safe hugs, Elaine

 

Re: therapy Ľ Estella

Posted by littleone on August 5, 2006, at 23:26:15

In reply to therapy, posted by Estella on August 3, 2006, at 22:59:01

Hi estella,

I did such a little snoopy happy dance when I saw you were unblocked. It's nice to see you back here :)

I found that it took me a long time to connect with my T and that increasing sessions, rather than decreasing them helped. I'm not saying your T is the right one for you (only you know that), but just that you might have to give it some more time.

You usually seem pretty comfortable putting your point forward on babble. You don't seem to be shy when it comes to confrontations. After reading your post, I started wondering if you were in the philosophy thing because you were comfortable with that type of interaction, or if you have taken on that type of interaction because you've had to fit in with the philosophy people.

Also, I've been meaning to ask you, but I'm not sure if you'd be comfortable answering. Did you end up moving to Australia? If you don't want to answer, that's fine. I completely understand.

 

Re: therapy Ľ ElaineM

Posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 1:11:41

In reply to Re: therapy Ľ Estella, posted by ElaineM on August 5, 2006, at 12:10:36

> I can't really tell which came first for you: feeling that you may want to leave and that there was no focus, or your T talking about cutting back sessions. I think it's important to know which came first.

Yeah, I understand where you are going with this :-)

I think... I was a little hesitant right from the start. I was trying to psych myself up to give her a chance. Really try and give her a chance. Then she turned out to be nice. Nice and compassionate and caring. Some of the things she said were a bit off but nothing really objectionable and nobody is perfect. I was starting to wonder a little what the point in seeing her was, though. She doesn't really ask questions about my past or anything. Seems very concerned to keep it in the present day to day stuff. Then I thought maybe she was trying to assess my coping over time or something... I was hanging in there. Then... She suggested moving back to fortnightly sessions. That got me. I realised that she normally sees people fortnightly . That they do brief supportive therapy. That she isn't used to doing anything other than that. She even mentioned monthly sessions at one point. I guess... I felt like withdrawing about then. A bit stunned. I bit hurt. I don't know. Then finding out last week about the womans health / mental health distinction... She said they don't work with dx's and they refer on for medications and... I see what the situation is a little more clearly.

> Perhaps she could help with a referral to someone outside the Womens Center.

Yeah. I will talk to her about what we are doing a little more next time.

> Wow, focusing your studies in Philosophy, and having social phobia sounds really challenging.

Yeah. I'm not sure it is social phobia exactly... But there surely is more anxiety there than other people tend to get... I think... It is hard to say. I've seen people say that they feel really very anxious. They don't look very anxious. But then people tell me I don't look very anxious either though I surely feel really very anxious lol.

> I don't think I'd be brave enough.

I didn't think I would be either. But... It wasn't so bad. Write a paper... Read a paper. Just read loudly and clearly and vary your voice so you don't mumble in a boring monotone... That is okay. Better still to talk through a powerpoint presentation (well, some say it is better, I think it can be). But... That requires talking off the top of my head and when I'm anxious I worry about stuffing it up completely. I'm not confident for that yet.

> I've found that intimidation is always a factor in lecture discussions, and the best way students can do that is to either get the professor to support their views, or to at least, sound like the prof. I quit going to discussions very early on in my degree.

:-(
I'm sorry that you had that experience.
To be fair... I didn't really have that. Had supportive lecturers who didn't say what they thought (just presented the material) and tried to extract the grain of wisdom out of what people said in order to encourage them. Different schools can have a very different atmosphere, however. To be fair on my school... It is known for being friendly. And people are friendly. I guess it is visiting scholars trying to emulate a certain style of philosophy as it is practised in other parts of the world (that I won't name). Still hard to think that if I want to be part of that world one day... Then that is something you need to be able to deal with. Can't run from my own seminar crying 'cause I feel upset that someone is covertly calling me stupid. Need to be able to keep my head under pressure and handle myself. Can't rely on professors rescuing / defending me forever...

> Plus, I think that "perforning", and having the mind and ideas to contribute to a discipline, are two different things entirely.

Yeah, they can be. I think in this case... It might be about how people handle pressure too. I handle the pressure by being more hesitant than I need to be. If you suggest 'this is how the story might go' then you are met very differently from if you assert 'this is how the story does go'. The first gets people more on side offering constructive criticism, the second gets people trying to offer the counter-example to sweep the rug out from under what you have just done...

> Be who you are. It's okay if it takes time to learn how to be assertive in a way that does't contradict the kind of individual you feel you are. You sound like an introspective and sensitive person.

Thank you. Yeah. Still finding myself. I guess I thought philosophers tended to be introspective and sensitive... I heard otherwise... Now I see hostile, confrontational, and dogmatic. Sigh. Smart... People are smart, don't get me wrong. But why do they have to be hostile with it? Why does it have to be about scoring points against persons? Not everyone is like this... But when you look at the people who are offered jobs... That is what is sad :-(

> IT sounds like you have alot of good things to talk about with a T. I hope your next session is a good one.

Thank you.

 

Re: therapy Ľ littleone

Posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 1:16:22

In reply to Re: therapy Ľ Estella, posted by littleone on August 5, 2006, at 23:26:15

> Hi estella,

Hey.

> I did such a little snoopy happy dance when I saw you were unblocked. It's nice to see you back here :)

:-)
Thank you.

> I found that it took me a long time to connect with my T and that increasing sessions, rather than decreasing them helped. I'm not saying your T is the right one for you (only you know that), but just that you might have to give it some more time.

Yeah. I need to talk to her about where we are going. I think she is keen to drop me to fortnightly then monthly then... Drop me. I need to talk to her about that.

> You usually seem pretty comfortable putting your point forward on babble.

Ah. On paper (or text) is different to in person (with people's physical presences looming over you). Hostile voices... Thats what I have trouble with. I can handle myself okay when the physical presence is absent.

> After reading your post, I started wondering if you were in the philosophy thing because you were comfortable with that type of interaction, or if you have taken on that type of interaction because you've had to fit in with the philosophy people.

I'm not sure. A little bit of both, I guess. I guess that philosophy reinforces certain syles of interaction... Selects for them... I guess I did okay from the start... But over time its probably stonger than it used to be. But I don't know.

I don't mean to be... Confrontational. I don't know. I don't know what / who I am and what I'm doing... I don't know.

> Did you end up moving to Australia?

Yeah.

 

Re: therapy

Posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 20:49:07

In reply to Re: therapy Ľ littleone, posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 1:16:22

i don't mean to be confrontational :-(

 

Re: therapy Ľ Estella

Posted by littleone on August 6, 2006, at 21:04:08

In reply to Re: therapy Ľ littleone, posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 1:16:22

> Yeah. I need to talk to her about where we are going. I think she is keen to drop me to fortnightly then monthly then... Drop me. I need to talk to her about that.

<< Ouch. Not what you needed to hear. I know Iíve heard you say before that you saw value in sorting things out yourself (ie working on yourself by yourself) and I certainly think you have the smarts to do some of this yourself. But I also know that for me, a big part of my healing is actually experiencing someone who really does care about and shows interest in me and helps build my worth up. I really believe that if you have troubles with your sense of self, then you need that experiential learning as well as the intellectual insights. I know that for a long time I wanted to be able to fix me myself. I didnít want to have to need my Tís help.

<< I wish you could have this too.

> Ah. On paper (or text) is different to in person (with people's physical presences looming over you). Hostile voices... Thats what I have trouble with. I can handle myself okay when the physical presence is absent.

<< That makes sense. I can understand that. It sounds like an unsafe environment for you. Perhaps you could work with your T on finding ways to make things safer for you. I donít really understand what the situation is, but perhaps you could just work with the philosophy people, but socialise with a different sphere of people. You could also work on ways to make your interactions with them safer. I imagine that their hostility must add a lot of stress on to your life. Even if it is hard to see because itís there all the time.

> I don't mean to be... Confrontational. I don't know. I don't know what / who I am and what I'm doing... I don't know.

<< I just wanted to clarify that I didnít mean that *you* were confrontational. You do put your ideas and opinions forth quite readily and will debate issues, but I sense that you always try to respect the other personís point of view and if you realise that the topic is hurting them, you respect them and back down. I donít think Iíve ever seen you act hostile towards anyone here. It sounds like thatís the difference between you and the philosophy people. You treat the other person respectfully, they sound like theyíll make their point at any cost. Do you think itís like a power game for them?

> > Did you end up moving to Australia?
>
> Yeah.

<< I hope you like the land of oz and take some time to look around a bit. Donít just hole up in a city somewhere. Iím not sure if youíre aware or not, but Medicare is going to start covering shrink visits from November. Not sure of the rules and conditions yet, but you might want to check out if you qualify for Medicare coverage.

 

Re: therapy Ľ Estella

Posted by littleone on August 6, 2006, at 21:20:31

In reply to Re: therapy, posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 20:49:07

> i don't mean to be confrontational :-(

Sorry estella that I didn't make myself clearer. I didn't mean you were confrontational. I think the words I used was that you weren't shy when it came to confrontations.

I meant that you don't shy away from them. That even in the face of a confrontation, you'll still put forward your opinions. Whereas at the slightest hint of conflict I run a mile.

I think you're very brave.

 

Re: therapy Ľ littleone

Posted by Estella on August 6, 2006, at 21:36:32

In reply to Re: therapy Ľ Estella, posted by littleone on August 6, 2006, at 21:04:08

> Ouch. Not what you needed to hear.

yeah.

> I know Iíve heard you say before that you saw value in sorting things out yourself...

Ah. I think i meant... with a t. i just meant... some are too quick to interpret (jump to conclusions) rather than listening. i'd rather they try and facilitate me figuring stuff out rather than for them to try and figure stuff out for me.

> But I also know that for me, a big part of my healing is actually experiencing someone who really does care about and shows interest in me and helps build my worth up.

yeah. i hear you there. the trouble with that as... finding someone who really does care...

> I donít really understand what the situation is...

it is mostly in seminars. seminars and sometimes reading groups. socially... they are fine :-)

so maybe i need to think of it as an... act. it is just that it it triggering for me. they aren't so sympathetic to that. i need to get used to it and i need to be able to handle it without feeling panic which means i can't think. i won't give it back... but i need to learn to take it because... that is the way it is sometimes.

>I didnít mean that *you* were confrontational.

no. i was putting my concerns in your mouth there. sorry.
((((littleone)))))
thank you.

i don't get the medicare thing... have basic health insurance because nzers aren't aussie residents for the purposes of health care etc. womens health centre said i was a resident... but they didn't have to do that... technically... i'm not.

 

Re: therapy Ľ Estella

Posted by muffled on August 7, 2006, at 15:37:13

In reply to Re: therapy, posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 19:50:45

> hey. thanks muffled. i'm not sure about clear. sometimes when i feel sad things seem kinda clear. i feel... compassionate. or something. i don't know. maybe it is the affective flattening. i need to feel a little sad to be normal. clearheaded and stuff. maybe i'm so used to the excitement the buzz that i interpret peace as sadness.
>
> maybe... i got to thinking. i got to thinking. and i got to thinking my way down... but all that was after the above post.
>
> i love ya muffled.
>
> need to spend less time on the boards...

***Yeah, when I feel clear I get kinda sad too. Wasted time, wasted life, wasted opportunties etc. etc.
But I doing better....
Yeah, I'm used to the buzz too, I feel lost when I not under the gun.
I love ya too Estella :-)
That was nice too see :-)
Take care,
Muffled


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