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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 8 to 32 of 32. Go back in thread:
Posted by canadagirl on July 9, 2006, at 12:46:44
In reply to Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed, posted by Poet on July 8, 2006, at 11:23:27
You're not boring and anyone who can get 33 out of 35 on a test and start six classes and even get an interview (never mind that they cancelled it, not everyone can even get to the stage where they can even be considered for an interview) AND be depressed all at the same time --- well I am impressed. Really. I don't think I could do all that being depressed.
No wonder you had a verbal outburst at your job. You are doing a lot that most people under the best of circumstances, would have stress over. Take care.
Posted by puravida on July 10, 2006, at 17:46:59
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » Poet, posted by canadagirl on July 9, 2006, at 12:46:44
Poet,
Are you trying to get off meds entirely? When I quit Effexor I had lots of really emotional outburts - out of nowhere, it seemed. For some reason I thought I could do w/o meds - and once again I learned the hard way that this isn't the case. Can you go back up on the Effexor, or add another AD maybe? Also, if things are really bad maybe you could get your T to take you off work for stress?
pv
Posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 18:29:26
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » Poet, posted by TherapyGirl on July 8, 2006, at 17:39:40
Hi TherapyGirl,
Dr. Clueless (pdoc) has been helping me taper down on the Effexor. When I saw her two weeks ago she told me to stay on 75mg for two months and then come see her. She gave me a form where I can check off withdrawal symptoms, I'm going to check off feeling more depressed and angry outbursts.
I've got Seroquel to help me sleep and Clonazepam to lessen anxiety, though if I still feel this bad in two weeks, I'll call Dr. Clueless and go in earlier.
My T is being great, I should call her if I need to talk. Especially if I lose it at work again. Call her before I go crazy.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 18:36:48
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » Poet, posted by Annierose on July 8, 2006, at 20:11:43
Hi Annierose,
I personalize all rejection. You'd think after almost four years of therapy I'd stop doing it, but I don't. Sigh. Big sigh.
I do feel overwhelmed. It's over things that usually wouldn't be a problem. Simple things like washing the dishes or cleaning out the litter boxes. I look at them and think, I can do that later, but I don't.
My husband is supportive, but doesn't get that I want to do things, I just don't have the motivation to do it. He gets tired of me saying I need to clean and then I don't.
I hope this is meds withdrawal. If you noticed a change after your daughter's minor reduction in her med maybe this time my depression is more chemical.
If I still feel this low in two weeks I'll call Dr. Clueless and at least talk to her on the phone. I have an appointment at the end of August, so I suppose I could go in earlier. Bigger sigh.
Thanks for your help.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 18:42:32
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » Poet, posted by LadyBug on July 8, 2006, at 23:42:24
Hi Ladybug,
I went into a major depression and quit my job two years ago. It took me nine months to get a new job, which unfortunately is this one. I'm afraid to quit because nobody else will hire me and I'll be denied unemployment again because I voluntarily left. If I get fired I won't get unemployment either. I'm stuck.
My T knows I'm depressed, but she also knows that if I lose my job I'll go into a worse depression. Talk about a catch 22. My job is driving me crazy, but if I quit I'll go crazier.
Another big sigh.
Thanks for your words of wisdom. I hope this passes soon.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 18:47:51
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed, posted by fallsfall on July 9, 2006, at 8:51:55
Hi Falls,
I had Cherry Garcia for dessert last night. There wasn't any left for breakfast. I should have gotten a bigger carton.
I was being over medicated by ex pdoc and started reducing Effexor XR on my own. Dr. Clueless is helping now. Maybe I do need to be on it still. I just don't know. If I still feel this bad in two weeks I'll call her. I have an appointment at the end of August, but maybe I could go in earlier.
I wonder what my T would have done if I had cried. I could tell she knew I was about to. She would have understood, she knows (and is trying hard to change) that I base my self esteem on career.
Maybe I'll have ice cream for lunch tomorrow. Get out of that horrible office and eat something good.
Thanks for your help.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 18:51:49
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » Poet, posted by Dinah on July 9, 2006, at 9:11:49
Hi Dinah,
I am very frustrated. I've decided that if I feel this bad in two weeks, I'll call Dr. Clueless.
I feel like tossing a coin: heads chemical depression, tails situational. It'll probably land on its side or roll under a dust bunny.
Thanks for understanding my frustration.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 18:53:03
In reply to I'm sorry you're depressed » Poet, posted by pseudoname on July 9, 2006, at 9:47:54
Hi Pseudoname,
Thanks for thinking I'm not boring. It's this depression that is boring. It dulls my energy and my thoughts.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 18:55:52
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » Poet, posted by canadagirl on July 9, 2006, at 12:46:44
Hi Canadagirl,
I wish Bigshot and my boss were as understanding as you are about my outburst. I am tired of both of them going past me and asking *how are you today?* I would so love to tell them.
Thanks for reminding me that I'm doing a lot for somebody who is feeling low. My first class ends in three weeks, the next two start up at the end of August. Hopefully I'll get my mood up before then.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 19:01:03
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed, posted by puravida on July 10, 2006, at 17:46:59
Hi Puravida,
Ex pdoc had me on way too high of a dose. I started tapering off on my own last year. Dr. Clueless (new pdoc) is helping me now. I really don't know if I need Effexor or not. I went on it after Paxil kicked out. Stubborn me thinks an AD won't help. I'm dysthymic, I'm always depressed, right? Wrong? I don't know.
I will call Dr. Clueless if I'm not feeling less depressed soon. My next appointment is the end of August and I don't want to feel like I do now for that long. That's actually a good sign, I think, that I believe I can feel better.
Thanks for your help.
Poet
Posted by Daisym on July 12, 2006, at 1:18:36
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » puravida, posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 19:01:03
It is a good sign that you recognize that you could feel better. Dare I ask...exercise and diet? Has anything changed? Are you sleeping enough?
Take care of yourself, Poet. You are important to me.
Hugs.
Daisy
Posted by 10derHeart on July 12, 2006, at 10:36:47
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » canadagirl, posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 18:55:52
I'm sorry you're not doing so well right now.
I'm not sure I have much to add to what everyone has said. I've been nearly depression-free myself for about 8 months, and just this past week am noticing some worrisome, little symptoms. Hope I can nip mine in the bud (do I sound like Barney Fife yet?) and that you can get just the right amount of meds and some relief from your yucky job. Your deserve many more joyful moments in your life, Poet.
I can say, just from the small amount of time we chatted in Toronto, that you are so NOT boring. You are funny, witty, smart and interesting!
I felt I could talk to you for hours. Lucky you that isn't happening, 'cause your dysthymia might turn to pure fear and panic as you try to RUN AWAY from 10der, who can talk absolutely *nonstop* when someone will listen.....!!
Keep plugging away at wellness, Poet. I know you will. We all will. The other choices are just unacceptable.
Posted by puravida on July 12, 2006, at 11:48:50
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » puravida, posted by Poet on July 10, 2006, at 19:01:03
Hi Poet,
I go through the same thing - will or won't an AD help? How do I know if I am depressed?
The answer I come up with when I AM depressed is "An AD won't help - it is ME that has to control this - it is MY fault I am feeling this way - I am doing something wrong." And I grab at straws - diet, exercise, supplements, reading, but usually it doesn't work until I get the meds right. The way I thought of it recently is that all of those things will help if you can reach them - but if you have to jump everytime to grab them, you'll get tired and frustrated. The AD is like a little step stool that lets you access the stuff that will help you.
Am I depressed? If I have to ask myself, I probably am to some degree. When I am good, I know I am not depressed - I feel good, normal. The trick for me is finding that groove and STAYING ON THE MEDS - (I have a tendency to think - cool! - I'm doing so well I can go off the meds - wrong!)
I struggle with the low grade depression stuff too. When you are depressed but still functioning (working) it is hard to get help, I think.
The good thing is that there are lots of meds out there to try, and lots of doses and combos. I've tried a ton of them... :)
Yes, it's a good sign, I think. I finally got my ADs adjusted yesterday after hammering at my PD for more than a month. It is frustrating, but like with a lot of medical stuff, knowing your own body/mind and learning as much as you can about treatments is preferable, to me, than expecting the PD to come up with a perfect remedy. If I had let them manage my meds 100% w/ no input from me, I hate to think.... :)
Hang in there!
Posted by Poet on July 12, 2006, at 21:16:30
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » Poet, posted by Daisym on July 12, 2006, at 1:18:36
Hi Daisy,
I am eating. I have been forcing myself to go to water aerobics. I am sleeping thanks to Seroquel or a glass or three of wine. I'm not doing both, so don't worry about that.
More than anything I feel completely stuck or stagnant. Just existing.
Thanks for saying I'm important to you, I sure don't feel important to myself right now. Thanks for the safe cyber hugs, too.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 12, 2006, at 21:22:15
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed, posted by 10derHeart on July 12, 2006, at 10:36:47
Hi 10der,
I am trying to nip depression in the bud. Do I get a deputy badge and get to carry a bullet in my shirt pocket? Your Barney reference made me smile, so I haven't lost my ability to smile- yet.
Thanks for you kind words of inspiration.
Poet
Posted by Poet on July 12, 2006, at 21:28:15
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed, posted by puravida on July 12, 2006, at 11:48:50
Hi puravida,
<<The answer I come up with when I AM depressed is "An AD won't help - it is ME that has to control this - it is MY fault I am feeling this way - I am doing something wrong."
This is how I think, too. I am an intelligent person I should be able to fix myself. I know, tomorrow, my T will give me her look of *why didn't you call me?* when I tell her I'm still depressed.
I was on way too much Effexor XR, hopefully the withdrawal will be less intense. I might stay at 75mg longer than two months, I will actually ask Dr. Clueless for help. I hate asking for help when I'm not depressed, when I'm depressed it takes far too much effort. Big sigh.
Thanks for understanding low level depression, I'm sorry that you do, but appreciate your sharing your experiences with ADs.
Poet
Posted by 10derHeart on July 12, 2006, at 21:30:53
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » 10derHeart, posted by Poet on July 12, 2006, at 21:22:15
>Your Barney reference made me smile,
Just as I hoped it would. Heard rumors you are (one of?) the Queen(s) of Movie lines, so I figured classic TV would be no problem...:-)
Yup. We get anti-anxiety badges and AD bullets.
Couldn't hurt, right?
Posted by nicky847 on July 13, 2006, at 10:32:41
In reply to Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed, posted by Poet on July 8, 2006, at 11:23:27
That sucks. It's no fun to feel yourself being depressed. I find the best way to deal with it is body first, then mind. If you feel depression, it's hard to control what youre thinking, it's kind of like being a 4 year old who can't stop bawling no matter how much you try to reason with it. Trying to think your way out of it, at least at first, just ties you up in knots.
So, for me, the first step in helping myself is to take care of my body, most importantly getting enough rest, eating right, and exercising, and getting enough rest. I said getting enough rest twice because thats the most important one. Take a week or two to focus on taking better care of yourself, then go from there. When I do that I usually being to feel strong enough to change my thinking, and they symptoms of depression become more manageable and less intense.
Whatever you do, know that depression will run its course. The brains a part of the body, and the body has a great ability to heal itself.
Posted by Poet on July 13, 2006, at 19:04:51
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed, posted by nicky847 on July 13, 2006, at 10:32:41
Hi nicky847,
I do feel like a four-year-old. I had a temper tantrum at work. I don't want to pick up after my pets that I insisted I have.
I am getting rest- chemical induced rest, but it beats lying awake all night thinking negative thoughts.
I thought about using up my sick days and not going to work, but I'd just have to go back eventually. I think of it as getting out of jail for awhile, but knowing I have to go back and finish out my sentence, I'll just feel worse in the end. I know, negative thinking.
I will try hard to rest and remember that this deeper depression will run its course and return to my usual low level state. Who would have thought that any level of depression was something to look forward to?
Thanks for your help.
Poet
Posted by nicky847 on July 17, 2006, at 9:13:45
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » nicky847, posted by Poet on July 13, 2006, at 19:04:51
well...if worse comes to worse and no matter how bad you feel..just remember that on average, even if left untreated, the average case of depression lasts 8 months..do whatever you have to do to remind yourself that depression will inevitably subside and you will feel better..until then use whatever time length your depression will last to make the life changes that your body is telling you you need to make right now..most of the time those changes involve simplifying, paying more attention to your own needs, and taking the time to enjoy the things and people that make you happy
Posted by nicky847 on July 17, 2006, at 9:17:11
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » nicky847, posted by Poet on July 13, 2006, at 19:04:51
>
> I thought about using up my sick days and not going to work, but I'd just have to go back eventually. I think of it as getting out of jail for awhile, but knowing I have to go back and finish out my sentence, I'll just feel worse in the end. I know, negative thinking.
>
As for your sick days, maybe try taking ONE sick day?? that way instead of using all of them, you can still have a day to rest and recuperate, without having many many days in which to ruminate at home, which doesn't help things..try as much as you can to strike a balance between meeting your obligations to yourself, and your obligations to the outside world
Posted by Poet on July 19, 2006, at 8:54:46
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed, posted by nicky847 on July 17, 2006, at 9:13:45
Hi Nicky,
Not a bad idea to take one sick day. You're right that ruminating at home for longer won't help, but maybe one day would.
I'm going to deep water aerobics, which does make me feel better. I like water, maybe on a sick day I'll head to the lake. I can't swim in it due to water conditions, but I can sit and look at it. Or sit in the backyard near the fish pond. I truly need a sanity day.
This will pass. I really don't want to up the Effexor as I don't want the withdrawal depression again when I go off of it. Then again maybe I shouldnt' go off of it. Geez, I'm back to square one.
Thanks for your sick-sanity day suggestion I am going to do it.
Poet
Posted by nicky847 on July 24, 2006, at 11:40:52
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » nicky847, posted by Poet on July 19, 2006, at 8:54:46
Poet-
Did you take the day off? if so how did it go??
great idea to do the water aerobics...that sounds like a great exercise programi know what you mean about not wanting to up the meds...i always struggle with whether or not to up my lexapro..im only on 10 mg...my girlfriend is on 20 mg so i know i could go up if need be..but i have a really hard time adjusting to the meds in the first place, so i guess i just figure i would rather not up the meds..i like to keep that option as a safety valve in case i really really need it...helps to know that the option is still there if i need it
> Hi Nicky,
>
> Not a bad idea to take one sick day. You're right that ruminating at home for longer won't help, but maybe one day would.
>
> I'm going to deep water aerobics, which does make me feel better. I like water, maybe on a sick day I'll head to the lake. I can't swim in it due to water conditions, but I can sit and look at it. Or sit in the backyard near the fish pond. I truly need a sanity day.
>
> This will pass. I really don't want to up the Effexor as I don't want the withdrawal depression again when I go off of it. Then again maybe I shouldnt' go off of it. Geez, I'm back to square one.
>
> Thanks for your sick-sanity day suggestion I am going to do it.
>
> Poet
Posted by Poet on July 26, 2006, at 8:50:10
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed, posted by nicky847 on July 24, 2006, at 11:40:52
Hi Nicky,
I used sick time for part of a day- it's a start. I know how stupid that sounds: I hate my job, it's making me more depressed and I only leave early instead of taking the whole day off. What am I crazy?
At least I haven't lost my sarcasm.
I'm planning a full day off. Soon. Very soon.
Also I'm waiting to hear back from Dr. Clueless, I left a message for an appointment. I don't want to up the meds again, but I also can't take feeling this low. I don't know which is the lesser of the evils. Sigh. Big sigh.
Poet
Posted by nicky847 on July 26, 2006, at 10:19:30
In reply to Re: Time to Admit it, I'm Depressed » nicky847, posted by Poet on July 26, 2006, at 8:50:10
Yeah it seems work gets extra depressing in the summer..something about it being so nice outside with so many fun things to do..except you cant do any of them b/c youre working all day :-)..
youre approaching things the right way though..use your doc no matter how competent or incompetent you think they might be...try to maintain a positive attitude toward whatever treatment youre using for your depression because if you think something will work, its far more likely to actually work..
once youve got the depression under control, you can work on getting out of that job you dont like! in the meantime maybe start planning how you might want to approach the job change and other options for work that might be more appealing to you..
This is the end of the thread.
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