Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 669038

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lodging a complaint against T

Posted by toetapper on July 21, 2006, at 14:39:57

Has anyone done it? Did it accomplish anything or just leave you with even more regrets?

My T of 2 years stood up in session a few weeks ago and basically kicked me out, no warning, no discussion, no referral, no follow-up, no explanation. I've left three messages over the weeks and not gotten even a message back, my entire life is revolving around rage and devastation right now, I don't know if lodging a complaint would help me sort it out or if I just want to get him.

Also, does anyone else distinguish between taking action to end life and just wishing you didn't have to be anymore? Several people have asked me if I have suidical thoughts, no, but I do have a constant desire to just not be anymore but not to take any action that way.

Thank you

 

Re: lodging a complaint against T (trigger above) » toetapper

Posted by fallsfall on July 21, 2006, at 15:45:48

In reply to lodging a complaint against T, posted by toetapper on July 21, 2006, at 14:39:57

The distinction between wanting to end one's life and just not wanting to exist is an important one.

You might consider seeing a different therapist to talk about what happened with the first one. They might be able to figure out how to find out what happened. Your story does sound like your therapist's behavior is unethical.

Good luck.

 

Re: lodging a complaint against T

Posted by pegasus on July 21, 2006, at 16:34:40

In reply to lodging a complaint against T, posted by toetapper on July 21, 2006, at 14:39:57

Wow, how awful! It makes me wonder what you were talking about. Although, honestly, I can't imagine anything that you might talk about that would justify a T behaving that way.

I agree that it might be a good idea to talk to another T about what happened with this one. If only to help you process your rage and grief. But maybe also if you're thinking about lodging a complaint with the licensing board. The ethical codes for most licensing organizations do require that a T not abandon clients. This sounds like abandonment as sure as anything.

Try to take care of yourself. This is such a hard thing to go through.

peg

 

Re: lodging a complaint against T (poss trig) » toetapper

Posted by Racer on July 21, 2006, at 16:52:29

In reply to lodging a complaint against T, posted by toetapper on July 21, 2006, at 14:39:57

> Has anyone done it? Did it accomplish anything or just leave you with even more regrets?
>

I did, but it went -- literally -- nowhere. The licensing board wrote back to me, telling me they needed more information about x, y, and z. The things they asked looked to me as though they hadn't really read the dang thing.

As a result, it was a negative experience for me.

Writing it, though, was a positive experience for me.

If you choose to do it, the licensing board for your state will have a website, and that website will have information about how to do it. And I agree that seeing another T to talk about this would be very good for you.

>
> Also, does anyone else distinguish between taking action to end life and just wishing you didn't have to be anymore? Several people have asked me if I have suidical thoughts, no, but I do have a constant desire to just not be anymore but not to take any action that way.
>
> Thank you

Yes. There is absolutely a difference between the two. Not wanting to exist is passive, but there's a great chasm between that and the active form: suicide.

One of the worst things about having made that leap, is that you can never get back to the other side of the abyss. It doesn't matter how strong you feel, or how well your life is going, it's always somewhere there that suicide is an option. That can be kinda liberating -- "well, I may as well try, since I don't have to live with the consequences if it goes wrong..." -- but mostly it's just shattering.

I don't know if that makes sense, but truly -- there is a huge difference between being so miserable you don't know how you can live through another day, and actually making the shift into feeling as though you need to make it happen.

I hope that helps a bit.

 

Re: lodging a complaint against T » toetapper

Posted by susan47 on July 26, 2006, at 0:36:38

In reply to lodging a complaint against T, posted by toetapper on July 21, 2006, at 14:39:57

It kind of sounds like maybe you said something that made this person feel responsible in a way they didn't want to be or weren't able to be, or maybe you scared this therapist with your emotions somehow, and that therapist terminated you because of it. It sounds kind of like that. If that's what happened then I don't know what the person is doing hanging a shingle.

 

Re: lodging a complaint against T (poss trig) » Racer

Posted by susan47 on July 26, 2006, at 0:39:04

In reply to Re: lodging a complaint against T (poss trig) » toetapper, posted by Racer on July 21, 2006, at 16:52:29

I really honestly used to feel that once I opened the door I could never go back. And I know it's true, I know I have the power to end my life if I want to. Seeing through the door helped me know that, and for a long time I felt, or knew, that things would never be the same again. And they aren't. But not in a bad way, anymore. Not in a frightening way, or in a way where I can't trust myself. Not anymore. Not now. It can happen, from there to here is only a step and that's true even though it doesn't seem like it.


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