Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 663000

Shown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Argh

Posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 17:57:32

What a weird messed up day.

I tried seeing my T in her other location, which is in a neighboring state. The drive was supposed to be 50 minutes according to mapquest so I left myself an hour and a half. It ended up taking me two hours. So I drove four hours round trip for a twenty-minute session.

The whole session was weird because I was so late and seeing her in this new setting and everything--it really kind of derailed me. But I tried to take it in stride and raced back home for my co-op shift.

I did child care and met some really, really cute kids and had a pretty good time with them. Then this horrible, horrible woman showed up who I ended up getting in a fight with she was so rude. She told me "it was a good thing I didn't have kids" in a very unnecessarily rude way (because I wouldn't let this one boy bounce a big basketball in the room, which I seriously doubt is allowed--why am I defending myself to you guys???). Just trust me. This woman was awful. I kept telling her I didn't want to argue and she kept repeating how glad she was that I didn't have any kids (among other things). I exclaimed to her "you are unbelievably rude" as I was leaving and she starting yelling stuff after me. It was really, really awful. I am not a nasty person. I just get really mad when someone pushes me too far. And she pushed me too far.

Can anyone relate? I know this is a mish mash of stuff, but I really just needed to vent all this stuff. It is rough being this mad and not being able to act on it in some way. And feeling this let down about therapy and not being able to talk about it with my therapist till Monday. I feel I have to put all my feelings away till then because I don't want them all over my weekend.

 

I just really wish

Posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 18:03:41

In reply to Argh, posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 17:57:32


that I could keep my wits about me when I was mad. Stay super calm, and say exactly the right thing to cut the person down without losing my cool or resorting to name-calling.

I wish I could do that. I'm terrible at it. I can't see straight once I get mad.

 

Re: I just really wish » crushedout

Posted by llrrrpp on June 30, 2006, at 18:19:21

In reply to I just really wish, posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 18:03:41

>
> that I could keep my wits about me when I was mad. Stay super calm, and say exactly the right thing to cut the person down without losing my cool or resorting to name-calling.
>
> I wish I could do that. I'm terrible at it. I can't see straight once I get mad.

Me neither. I really struggle with anger.
Sounds like you had a really tough day. I think your reaction was perfectly normal. Sounds like the unpleasant woman has some issues with anger too. Hope the rest of your weekend goes better. How are you doing otherwise? I've been reading your posts, but don't want to say the wrong thing.

would you like a hug?((crushedout))
-ll

 

Re: I just really wish

Posted by Tamar on June 30, 2006, at 20:00:32

In reply to I just really wish, posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 18:03:41

>
> that I could keep my wits about me when I was mad. Stay super calm, and say exactly the right thing to cut the person down without losing my cool or resorting to name-calling.

If you figure it out, let me know! I get all shaky and my lower lip trembles. I look like I’m about to cry.

> I wish I could do that. I'm terrible at it. I can't see straight once I get mad.

Me neither. One thing I have found that works very well is to use big words. Stuff like “Oh do be quiet, you ridiculous woman” seems to be more effective than “Shut the f*ck up, you total *ss-face.” Make sure you sound very superior, and as calm as possible. Calmness will win the day.

I’m a convert to having just one phrase that you can practice rather than trying to think on your feet when you’re feeling agitated. If you can say, “I don’t talk to rude people; go away,” every time someone is rude to you, you’ll get used to saying it and it won’t be so difficult to find something to say.

I reckon rude people are usually looking for a fight, and nothing frustrates them as much as not giving them one. I’m a b*tch, eh?!

 

Re: I just really wish » llrrrpp

Posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 20:03:26

In reply to Re: I just really wish » crushedout, posted by llrrrpp on June 30, 2006, at 18:19:21


hi ll. you've never said the wrong thing--i don't think you should worry about that at all.

i think i'm doing a little better these days. i'm really trying to get better. it's not easy.

i wrote a BUNCH of other stuff in this post but i had to delete it because i was rambling. :(

 

Re: I just really wish » crushedout

Posted by llrrrpp on June 30, 2006, at 20:12:17

In reply to Re: I just really wish » llrrrpp, posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 20:03:26

>
> hi ll. you've never said the wrong thing--i don't think you should worry about that at all.

wow, thank you. That's really a compliment. I'm trying to learn to take compliments to heart (in addition to my anger issues!). I appreciate the practice opportunity.

> i think i'm doing a little better these days. i'm really trying to get better. it's not easy.

I'm so glad you're feeling a little better. I know you're trying hard. Just take it in baby steps and give yourself credit for things that you accomplish. Take care you yourself ((c.o.))

> i wrote a BUNCH of other stuff in this post but i had to delete it because i was rambling. :(

I bet I write longer posts on average than 80% of babblers. I go for quantity over quality. It's much harder to write short than long, at least for me blah blah blah.

ciao :)
-ll

 

Re: I just really wish » Tamar

Posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 20:21:13

In reply to Re: I just really wish, posted by Tamar on June 30, 2006, at 20:00:32

i love it! your examples gave me a really good laugh.

i think you are right. i was thinking up stock lines for rude people afterwards also (stuff i wish i'd said to her).

i did say to her--twice, i think!--that "I completely disagree with you, but I have no interest in discussing it with you." maybe that qualifies as calm and superior-sounding.

 

Re: I just really wish » crushedout

Posted by Tamar on June 30, 2006, at 20:33:00

In reply to Re: I just really wish » Tamar, posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 20:21:13

> i did say to her--twice, i think!--that "I completely disagree with you, but I have no interest in discussing it with you." maybe that qualifies as calm and superior-sounding.

Perfect! I bet she went away feeling pretty silly…

 

Re: Argh » crushedout

Posted by Dinah on June 30, 2006, at 22:11:55

In reply to Argh, posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 17:57:32

I have seen my therapist in soooo many strange settings. It always seems to be ok as long as he feels like himself. But I feel frantic if I can't feel him. And sometimes that comes from me, not him.

After the stress of being late and seeing her in a strange setting, it's no wonder the session didn't go as well as usual. Hopefully she'll make up for it next time.

 

Re: WAIT ... » crushedout

Posted by annierose on June 30, 2006, at 22:13:06

In reply to Argh, posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 17:57:32

... did you go to see the T that you use to have the crush on????

.... you just glossed over that story ... what was that like? are you glad that you are seeing T2?

I remember how hard it was for you to seperate from T1. What did you hope to find out in seeing her? Just curious.

Annie

 

Re: WAIT ... » annierose

Posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 22:27:32

In reply to Re: WAIT ... » crushedout, posted by annierose on June 30, 2006, at 22:13:06


no, no, this was T2, who i've now been seeing for almost two years! (can you believe how fast that went by?)

 

Re: Argh

Posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 22:31:39

In reply to Re: Argh » crushedout, posted by Dinah on June 30, 2006, at 22:11:55

> I have seen my therapist in soooo many strange settings.

I bet.

>It always seems to be ok as long as he feels like himself. But I feel frantic if I can't feel him. And sometimes that comes from me, not him.

I'm not even sure we had enough time for me to feel anything. Except "weird" and maybe really, really sad but I didn't dare to bring that up and fall apart with so little time. So I just compartmentalized it in my brain.


> After the stress of being late and seeing her in a strange setting, it's no wonder the session didn't go as well as usual. Hopefully she'll make up for it next time.

Yeah. I was actually really hoping you would say exactly that. :)

 

Re: Argh » crushedout

Posted by Dinah on June 30, 2006, at 22:36:34

In reply to Re: Argh, posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 22:31:39

Glad I got it right this time. :)

Lately I feel like a negativity catalyst. Add a bit of Dinah and feel instantly worse. :P

Oddly, I actually feel a fair bit better than I did a week or so ago, so it's not contagion exactly.

 

Re: Argh

Posted by fallsfall on July 1, 2006, at 13:19:35

In reply to Re: Argh, posted by crushedout on June 30, 2006, at 22:31:39

Keep the faith!

(((Crushed)))

 

Yesterday went from bad to worse

Posted by crushedout on July 1, 2006, at 22:10:49

In reply to Re: Argh, posted by fallsfall on July 1, 2006, at 13:19:35


The more I thought about the session with my T, the more dismissed, abandoned, and uncared for I felt by her. I think seeing her fancy other office was really hard for me, too. It was also very close to the town where she lives.

But then my best friend/most recent "lover" f*cked me over for the last time and I had to tell him our friendship was over. It was really heart-breaking. But because he's also been a huge part of my recent drug problem, I know it's what I have to do in any event. I cried hysterically for hours last night because it was just too much to deal with in one day. I feel too too alone.

I'm learning to adjust to my new lonely situation today. It feels okay. My new kitty is very, very helpful.

 

Re: Yesterday went from bad to worse » crushedout

Posted by fallsfall on July 2, 2006, at 20:57:24

In reply to Yesterday went from bad to worse, posted by crushedout on July 1, 2006, at 22:10:49

We're here if you get lonely, Crushed. I'm glad you are doing things to take care of yourself.

 

thanks falls (nm)

Posted by crushedout on July 2, 2006, at 21:01:33

In reply to Yesterday went from bad to worse, posted by crushedout on July 1, 2006, at 22:10:49


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