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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DisposableDoll on May 10, 2006, at 6:09:21
This is divided into two sections (and many paragraphs....please forgive mispellings and grammatical errors)
Vacation Section: Hey everyone. Sorry for being unresponsive for the past week or so. I was on vacation, which I was nervous about, but it went better than expected. I actually had fun, though I did get depressed and stressed at times and there was some fighting as I had predicted. Before we left the airport my sister and bro-in-law did start to argue slightly and during the vacation there was some fighting between the kids, the kids and parents, sis and bro-in-law, me and my sis, me and the kids, and me and my mom, but nothing too frequent or severe. Also, it turned out that while I normally get really nervous on amusment park rides (hadn't ridden a roller coaster until a few years ago, was pretty nervous getting on, and didn't really enjoy the ride much. Rode two.), I was unusually calm (for me) about them and on them this time and I actually rode most of the rides. I refused to get on one. Rode more than I ever have before at one time and prob. more than I ever have if you combined all of the rides I've been on in my entire life. I think I enjoyed them for the first time ever. I never expected such a thing in my life! However, I was dissapointed that we didn't spend a single day on the beach. :( Anyways, that is why I haven't been here for awhile. I will respond to the prior comments soon, but right now I want to ask a question regarding psychosis.
The Psychosis Section- Okay, *sighs* let's see how to begin this. First of all I do believe in ghosts and e.s.p and other such things, and no, I do not think that makes me mentally ill or psychotic and I think it narrow minded to think all people who believe in the paranormal are off their rockers. Anyways, thing is that while I do believe in such things, and I do believe I have had some genuine experiences, I sometimes wondered during my life if part of what I was seeing and hearing was my imagination instead, or even signs of a mental illness.
When I entered therapy I was asked if I saw or heard anything that others could not see or hear. I said, not anymore. I was asked at what point in my life had I seen/heard these things. Now, at that time, I had had some unusual experiences, E.S.P., clairvoyance, faith healing, etc. experiences since childhood, but I felt them genuine since I had things to back them up. As far as ghosts go, some situations were backed up by many others experiencing similar situations in the same local without prior knowledge of the events, people seeing and hearing the same thing at the same time, etc., but I had had some experiences personally in my childhood that were VERY odd to me and I wasn't sure if these particular experiences were supernatural, imagination, or psychosis. As a child I had a very active imagination and could almost relocate myself in a day dream. It was as if I were having a dream while motionless and awake or maybe it is more accurate to say I got lost in the movie. Also, there was a time or two when I closed my eyes and watched a movie play on the dark background of my eyelids that I didn't realize was my own imagination. I was sad to see it go. So, perhaps the events I am about to explain were simply my imagination.
Anyways, as a young child, perhaps about 5, I recall an incident when my mother began to hear someone knocking all around our house. This wasn't completely knew. Sometimes people in our house would hear knocking and there wouldn't be anyone at the door or in the yard as far as we could see. This time the knocking was moving around the house, however. The other members of the family were gone or asleep. I can't recall if I heard the knocking or not, but I know several members of the family heard it in the house and while I might have at some point myself, I can't recall if I heard it that night or not, though my mom did. She tried to see if she could spot the people through windows and doorways, but to no avail. She was afraid to go out to look because she wasn't sure if the people were dangerous. She got her gun, opened the door, and yelled, threatening the people and telling them they needed to leave, and that she was armed. I remember getting nervous. I remember hearing voices. I know we've all heard the term "the voices in my head," but that's just the thing- they aren't IN our heads, at least I wouldn't describe them that way. They sounded as though they were outside of me, in the air above me, and sort of angled, like they were in front of me, either directly or to the side, and above me. They also seemed to be like regular voices, only at weird angles and without bodies. I can't recall hearing these disembodied voices before or since, but I think that I may have very well heard them before, because when I heard them this time, I remember thinking something along the lines of, "Oh, no- They're back," or "Oh, no- Not this again." They called me by name and asked me how I was doing. I felt they were evil and they frightened me, so I didn't speak. They began to ask me to talk to them. I can't recall how many there were, but there were at least two, because if I recall correctly, there was a male and a female- both adults I think.
I tried to fake anger to mask my fear and I did one of those whisper shouts to tell them to go away and leave me alone. My mother was in the room at the time still yelling at the unseen knockers to go away or else. I remember hoping she didn't notice me whisper shouting at the unseen people. I don't recall hearing them again. However, there was another time before I turned 6, when I saw a spider and it began to speak to me. It seems as though the spider was cartoon like or unusual in appearance, but I don't remember great detail. It seems it was either bright green or purple. Something weird. I think it was bright green. It spoke to me and I recall it telling me that it was my friend. I think it knew my name. Again, I felt it was evil AND it seemed familiar, but not as much so as the voices, which I seemed to feel CERTAIN I had heard before. I tried to wake my grandpa telling him to kill it, but he thought I was just being an imaginative child and since he was so tired, he went back to sleep. I finally killed it myself, but I felt sick having done it. Sick and I think, guilty, which is something I had trouble feeling as a child at times. I do not think there was anything in the spot where I had allegedly killed this spider, as I think it was either both a visual and auditory hallucation, or I suppose it possible it was an unusual spirit manifestation directed towards a child. However, while I believe the house was somewhat haunted, I kind of think that was either my imagination or illness.
I also saw my cousin once, walking down my hall....only it was her doppleganger. My cousin was alive elsewhere in the house at the time and I saw her clear form walking down the hallway beside me, she turned and smiled a sinister smile at me, which gave me chills. Then turning the other way, she walked through a wall. When I turned the corner, she was not in the room the hallway shared with the wall. I think all of this happened between ages 4-6. Almost exactly at 5. Some other stuff happened then, but I won't get into that. The shrinks seemed to contribute the younger stuff to my imagination without even asking me anything about it other than my age.
However, when I mentioned there being one episode when I was a bit older, between 6-12 (older than 6 and younger than 12)- maybe 8- I'm guessing here, when I thought the cat had spoken breifly to me and with rudimentary dialogue, they were a tad concerned. I neglected to tell them of the little people who had lived in the wall when I was between 6-12, maybe about 8-10. Now, I didn't exactly see the wee folk, but I saw their home and I heard them, but just the one time. I got out of there before they got to their doorway to find me. I was temporarily paralyzed with fear during this time, but luckily snapped out of it and managed to run. While I think that house was also haunted, I think perhaps that was once again my imagination or something, and not spirit activity. More happened, again, and as I aged, but that was the most intense auditorially and visually. I got chills talking about it for years and occasionally even now.
Something else I haven't told a shrink is that a few years ago (I'm 23 now. I might as well tell it. If anyone reads all I've written here they'll know it is me, age shown or not), when I was rather stressed out, I began to hear something like whispering in the air around me. The thing is, it wasn't very clear and I couldn't make out any words, but it SOUNDED like whispering. I told myself the silence buzzes and that was all it was....that or some other small minute sounds that I was making into "whispers." This continued for awhile and one day I actually thought I heard someone shout my name. Part of me, however, knew something wasn't right. Still, I checked outside to see if there was anyone there calling for me. No one. The whispering eventually went away. I did have a disease a few years back (not sure how close to the same time), that can mess with you neurologically and mentally, but it never got to me bad in that sense and as I said, the whispering started and stopped, so if it was the illness, why would it quit while I was still sick?
Also, interestingly, after that and in the past year or two, my mother came into the bedroom where I was sleeping and told me she had something interesting to tell me. She started the conversation by asking me if it was normal to hear voices. Okay, if she wanted my attention, she certainly had gotten it! I didn't say no right away. I asked her why she was asking- had she been hearing voices? She told me she had been hearing voices for the past couple hours, but they were more like a bunch of people whispering, and she couldn't discern any words. She said it had quit. She hasn't claimed anything similar since, but I found it very interesting.
I have had some other moments were I felt a bit dissasociated and things of that nature, and other interesting familial tidbits, but it is the whispering that is interesting me the most now. Any thoughts?
Posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 9:01:38
In reply to Vacation and Question About Psycosis and Whispers, posted by DisposableDoll on May 10, 2006, at 6:09:21
I'll comment on the part I have some familiarity with. As I fall asleep I often hear what sounds like background noise at a restaurant. Many different conversations going on at once and no way to make otu the words, but the cadence of conversation is definitely there. It happens more when I'm stressed but only at bedtime.
I always figured it was just my overstimulated brain discharging all the stuff that was keeping it awake. But my sleep neurologist is positive it's a symptom of narcolepsy.
So I'd say to go to a good neurologist and get a thorough workup. It's not scary at all. He didn't think I was psychotic. There's a name for it but I can't recall it.
Posted by Poet on May 10, 2006, at 9:37:06
In reply to Vacation and Question About Psycosis and Whispers, posted by DisposableDoll on May 10, 2006, at 6:09:21
Hi DisposableDoll,
I believe in ghosts. I have seen them in human and animal form. Family members also saw them, so it wasn't my imagination. I remember my mother telling me she followed a ghost cat up the basement stairs. Same one I saw run through the dining room at a different time.
I haven't heard things, other than in dreams and then I will shout out loud. I wake my husband up doing this. Yelling in my sleep is always linked to what I'm dreaming.
I've never said in a pysch eval that I hear or see things that aren't there. I've told my T about the ghosts and she believes in them also, so she doesn't think I'm crazy. Well, she does think I'm crazy, but not in that way. LOL.
Can you talk to your mother more about what she experienced when you were a child? I think it would interesting to hear what she says now and compare it to what you remember happening and what you recall her saying then.
I agree with Dinah that you might want to have a neurological exam. You said that as a child you had a disease that can effect you nerologically and that was when you heard the whispering. I believe in the supernatural, but I also believe in ruling out physical causes.Keep us posted.
Poet
Posted by one woman cine on May 10, 2006, at 11:09:43
In reply to Re: Vacation and Question About Psycosis and Whisp » DisposableDoll, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 9:01:38
Hi Dinah,
the sleep thing you had, was it called hypnagogic hallucinations? I think that's common when there's some kind of sleep disturbance (speaking from experience; can be terrifying to downright "trippy" and also sleep paralysis).
DisposableDoll, just a thought - but maybe you should not only get checked by a neuro but by a sleep disorders center. Could be a REM thing.
Posted by B2chica on May 10, 2006, at 11:52:55
In reply to Re: Vacation and Question About Psycosis and Whisp, posted by one woman cine on May 10, 2006, at 11:09:43
Hi DisposableDoll,
first, no matter what all this might be. you are sane. you are ok.
i think when we are children we are more prone to imagination because we don't know the facts of things...however, i do think that we are also more suceptible to paranomal activity as well.i don't have an explanation for what was going on when younger but just out of curiosity has any similar stuff happened outside of that house? or when you were older? (teenager and older?) maybe it WAS that house??
also, about the whispering noises. i get this alot, especially at night. i call it crowd noise. no distinguishable conversations but i hear babble. i also get other weird noises in my head which can sometimes get quite loud but i have noticed that when i'm on a neuroleptic or heavy sleeping aid that i don't tend to have this issues. so i agree with Dinah, that this might be directly related to a sleep disorder. (one woman cine mentioned hypnogogic i get these and hypnopompic hallucinations all the time...they ARE terrifying but also sleep issues). however the noise in my head is different. it does seem to happen mostly at night when i'm tired, however i work alot with acoustics so 1)it could be that i'm too stimulated during the day to notice them and 2)might actually be getting over stimulated during the day and that carries over into the tnight...
in terms of psychotic. sometimes people have a psychotic episode, it may happen only once in your lifetime, it may happen many. but my guess is if you are questioning these things that have happened to you and are seeking treatment that you are most not psychotic. However that deoen'st mean that you haven't experienced an episode. usually thought you are mostly out of reality during these episodes. It doesn't sound like you have lost touch with reality but are just experiencing unusual 'episodes'. However, do keep vigilant about it. if you start to hear voices that are talking to you or having a running commentary on what you are doing or have reoccurring hallucinations (whatever your belief of them) do tell a doc about them.
best wishes and we are here for you
b2c.
Posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 13:31:14
In reply to Re: Vacation and Question About Psycosis and Whisp, posted by one woman cine on May 10, 2006, at 11:09:43
Yes, thank you, I think that's what he called them. Mine aren't particularly scary. And I'm quite used to them.
I only experienced sleep paralysis when I was briefly on Neurontin as a mood stabilizer. That was weird and I'd rather not experience it again.
This neurologist diagnosed me with mild narcolepsy as well as mild to moderate sleep apnea. I've never quite agreed with the narcolepsy diagnosis. I think it's all part of the dissociative defense mechanisms I prefer.
Posted by DisposableDoll on May 11, 2006, at 4:04:24
In reply to Re: Vacation and Question About Psycosis and Whisp » DisposableDoll, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2006, at 9:01:38
Thanks for letting me know. I'll try to check it out if I can, but I don't have any insurance so that'd be hard to pull off. It is how you desrcibed the sound- "....I often hear what sounds like background noise at a restaurant. Many different conversations going on at once and no way to make otu the words, but the cadence of conversation is definitely there"-
and I was stressed out when it happened, but it wasn't near bedtime. Actually, I think it happened at times even when I was well rested. I still think this is worth looking into, however.
Posted by DisposableDoll on May 11, 2006, at 4:18:54
In reply to Re: Vacation and Question About Psycosis and Whispers » DisposableDoll, posted by Poet on May 10, 2006, at 9:37:06
Hey Poet! :) I think it is cool that you have had supernatural experiences and I do believe some are genuine, so I'll give yours the benefit of the doubt in being real. I even think some of my own experiences were real. I just question some of them and am not so certain what was going on in some particular situations.
I'm not sure if I actually told the shrinks that I saw and heard things that weren't there. Actually, I think they phrase the question more like- "Do you see and hear things that others cannot?" and sometimes others were there and didn't see or hear the same thing. Although, they have at other times. I think it's great that your T is open minded about ghosts. I wonder if mine is. It's never come up, yet.
While I avoided talking to anyone about the wee folk in the wall and the voices in the air for a long time, I did eventually talk to mom about these things. She remembers the night when there was knocking all around the house. My aunt who lived in the house later on, heard the same thing.....knocks traveling around the house, but no one to be seen.
As for the disease- actually, I had the disease AND the whispering as an adult. I heard actual discernable voices as a child. As an adult however, it was just like the whispering of a bunch of people at once and I couldn't make out the words, except for one shouting of my name. I didn't have the disease until my adulthood. While the disease is not completely neurological, it can affect that and I think it did start affecting me that way to a degree, towards the high point of my illness at least. I would like to see a neurologist, but I don't have any insurance.
Posted by DisposableDoll on May 11, 2006, at 4:21:23
In reply to Re: Vacation and Question About Psycosis and Whisp, posted by one woman cine on May 10, 2006, at 11:09:43
Thanks for the suggestion. We have some sleep clincs not too far away and I think some of them will check you out for free just for research purposes, but I'll have to check. I have no insurance.
> DisposableDoll, just a thought - but maybe you should not only get checked by a neuro but by a sleep disorders center. Could be a REM thing.
Posted by DisposableDoll on May 11, 2006, at 4:31:22
In reply to Re: Vacation and Question About Psycosis and Whisp, posted by B2chica on May 10, 2006, at 11:52:55
Thanks for the reassurance, B2chica. I agree that children are more susceptible to both imagination and the paranormal. Also, the strange thing was that as a child most of the stuff happened in that house which was odd because you'd think if it was caused by being nervous that it would happen more away from home, but that wasn't the case. As for the incidents that happened when I was a bit older, 8-12, the incidents were happening at a different house we were living in, but mostly in that house or right in front of it, once again. I do have reasons other than my own experiences to believe both places were at least somewhat haunted. Actually, a lot of the places around here are allegedly haunted. It's either this place or the people in it.
I haven't really had things like the voices and seeing things since I've been older, except for the whispering and hearing someone call my name once in the middle of the whispering. I was nervous when it happened. Anyways, that happened as an adult. However, it seems as though the whispering happened even after I just woke up as well as when I was ready for bed.
You said, "....usually thought you are mostly out of reality during these episodes." Actually, during some of the episodes, I think I was. For instance, during the wee folk incident, I felt temporarily in a trance like state. Although, this isn't always the case.
Thanks for wishing me well. :)
This is the end of the thread.
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