Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 615012

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How does your T greet you?

Posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 14:52:54

My T is in a practice with about six other therapists and two receptionists. I usually try to get there after my T has finished with her client before me. (I know I have to share my T but I dont have to see it!) She is most always on time give or take a minute or two. When she is ready for me she usually walks into the waiting room and looks at me and says "Hi Bent." This is where I have my weird complex: most of the time she waits for me and I walk into her office and then she follows shutting the door behind her. BUT...if she goes in first I totally panic about who should shut the door! I know, weird. I think I should shut it seeing that I am the last one in but I hate to. Sometimes I wont and then she has to go back and shut it. I dont know why I am so strange about this. So, how does your T greet you?

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » bent

Posted by TherapyGirl on March 2, 2006, at 15:57:42

In reply to How does your T greet you?, posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 14:52:54

I've had this same problem, Bent. I'm not sure what the problem is for me, either, just that it doesn't feel right to me. I also used to hate having her walk behind me, though, so there didn't seem to be a great way to get into her office.

Now she's in a new office without a reception area (she's in a satellite site by herself), so I go through a back door that she leaves open for me. I go in and sit down and then she shuts the door and sits down in her rocker. The transition to the new office was extremely hard for me, but this one part of it has worked better.

 

Re: How does your T greet you?

Posted by happyflower on March 2, 2006, at 16:35:13

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you? » bent, posted by TherapyGirl on March 2, 2006, at 15:57:42

My T is in a private practice, so there is his own waiting area but his receptionist is shared with the other professonals on the same floor (lawyers). But the receptionist is there when you get off the eleveator but then you walk to his own waiting area.
Then he he holds open the door while I go in, and then he shuts it. Then he is the one who opens the door to his office after the session and he holds open the door to the waiting area and says good bye. He is usually the one who does the door.
One time he told me to wait so he could get the door. I am thinking what, I can't open my own door? LOL Then he says hey its kinda like a date, I have to walk you to the door. What a gentleman, LOL (but he never kisses me good bye, like a date, hmmm. ) Oh well. He must not like me that much. LOL

 

Re: How does your T greet you?

Posted by annierose on March 2, 2006, at 16:46:22

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you?, posted by happyflower on March 2, 2006, at 16:35:13

My T is in a solo private practice. She has a private closed off waiting area (so you cannot see the previous client leaving).

When she comes in to get me, she will usually say something, as in "Good morning", "Welcome back" (if it's been awhile) ... some sort of greeting. Then I walk ahead of her to open the door to her office. She shuts the door behind herself.

When I leave, she stays seated, or gets up as I walk past her, and I let myself out, sometimes muttering quietly to myself about the session, "What a waste of time today was," or "She was snippy today wasn't she," or the better ones, "Ahhh, just what I needed to start my day."

Bent, it's interesting that a part of you doesn't feel safe to shut the door behind you. Have you ever discussed this with your T? My silly therapyism --- I refuse to push the button to acknowledge that I'm there. It makes a ringing sound, and I hate the thought of interrupting a client that could be in there. She has never mentioned to me, she just knows that I'm always on time and always comes out to get me.

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » bent

Posted by Dinah on March 2, 2006, at 17:10:37

In reply to How does your T greet you?, posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 14:52:54

I would never dream of shutting the door. Shudder.

Lately he's always left me in his office while he putters outside, so when he comes back in he shuts the door. Back in his regular setup, I think he walked first, yet somehow he managed to close the door.

However I frequently leave and open the door myself, leaving it open.

 

Re: How does your T greet you?

Posted by daisym on March 2, 2006, at 19:36:24

In reply to How does your T greet you?, posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 14:52:54

In one office he has to walk down the stairs and into the waiting room. He always smiles and says "hi" (btw, before Ca HIPPA changed, he'd say "hi daisy" which I liked better). He walks up the stairs after me and closes the door. In the other office he comes around the corner to get me but walks behind me and closes the door. I never thought anything of it until Karen K made a comment about swishing on my way up the stairs. Now I can NOT climb those stairs without thinking about her. :)

He always gets up and walks me to the door in both offices when I leave. (Ut oh, freudian, I typed "when he leaves" originally.)

My therapyism: I will not sit on the couch in either waiting room, I get a single chair or I stand. And I don't read when I'm waiting for him either.

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » bent

Posted by Poet on March 2, 2006, at 19:42:43

In reply to How does your T greet you?, posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 14:52:54

Hi Bent,

My T shares an office suite with a bunch of other therapists, but there is no receptionist. Clients just sit down in the waiting room and their T's come out and get them. I try to get there a few seconds before my appointment so I have minimal contact with other people.

T comes into the waiting area, gives me a smile, goes straight to the water cooler, fills her cup and then nods towards her door. She waits at the door until I go in, then she closes it behind her and sits down.

She always gets up and opens the door at the end of the session and shuts it behind me.

Dr. Clueless doesn't even come out of her office, she just calls out *Come in Poet* and I walk in and shut the door. I think it's a power thing for her.

I like the doors shut. Locked would be okay, too. Though I would also like an emergency exit so I can run out the door quicker at the end of a session.


Poet

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » annierose

Posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 20:00:49

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you?, posted by annierose on March 2, 2006, at 16:46:22

I have never told her about my door dilemma. I think I'd feel embarrassed but I don’t know why? There's got to be some unconscious meaning to it!
I have dreams about her office walls disappearing, but we talk about those, which are most always boundary issues. I just have problems with walls and doors i guess! :-)

I like your comments that you are saying to yourself on your way out. So true! I told my T I hated her once, but that was during a session. The things we can put them through - I gotta feel sorry for them sometimes!

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » daisym

Posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 20:03:42

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you?, posted by daisym on March 2, 2006, at 19:36:24

I dont really think about where I sit while I am waiting but I definitely cant read anything. For me its cause I'm usually very nervous and trying to organize myself.

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » Poet

Posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 20:07:01

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you? » bent, posted by Poet on March 2, 2006, at 19:42:43

Yea, my T always gets up and opens the door first and I wouldnt feel comfortable any other way. I had a T who would call me from her office to come back. I hated that!

I agree on the emergency exit. I wish my chair had an eject button sometimes.

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » bent

Posted by annierose on March 2, 2006, at 21:30:43

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you? » Poet, posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 20:07:01

I like the eject button idea myself. I have even let her know that it is sheer strength that is keeping me on this couch sometimes, I so want to leave.

And then of course are the times that I'm glued to the couch and don't want to leave. "Please don't make me go out into that cruel world."

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » bent

Posted by milly on March 3, 2006, at 7:19:31

In reply to How does your T greet you?, posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 14:52:54

Because my T is NHS (UK) he is in a mental health clinic with lots of therapies going on and a day centre.Sometimes the waiting area is quite chaotic and sometimes quite scary.

I sign in but no longer say to the receptionist who I am there to see then I will sit a fair way away from the door through which he will come to get me.

I then deliberatly get very involved in looking at my hands or shoes so that when the door opens (and i know it has) i don't look up causeing him to have to say my name (OMG that sounds so manipulating)I love to hear him say my name, we have talked about that.

Sometmes there is a half smile sometimes nothing (which I get really upset about)
then I follow him into his office always checking which shirt he has on (some I like more than others)and if he has more grey hairs than last week.

He shuts the door at the beginning but I open it to leave which sometimes is SO painful I can't do it. I never say 'thank you' but have told him it is because it is a completly inadequate word to express my gratitude.

milly

 

Re: How does your T greet you?

Posted by bailey777 on March 3, 2006, at 7:23:42

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you? » bent, posted by annierose on March 2, 2006, at 21:30:43

this is a funny topic -- but I think about every time I see my T.

She's in a hospital setting, but it's a nice waiting area. Usually, I wait and I'm reading - when I started I almost had anixety attacks, which luckily I am over... anyway, she greets me with "Bailey" because I usually don't hear her coming. but then... she always gives me this look over. Like "how is *she* doing today?" look.

I'm kinda of sick of it, so I finally started saying, how are you doing? as we walk down the hall. Part of me wants to say -- do you want to ask me something? I know that is rude, but she is definitely gageing me for the session.

Anyway, it's nice that you brought this up, so of course, i could vent! LOL!

 

Re: How does your T greet you?

Posted by happyflower on March 3, 2006, at 10:35:39

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you? » bent, posted by annierose on March 2, 2006, at 21:30:43

> I like the eject button idea myself.

Hey, I would rather have an eject button for my T so I can send him off into space where he belongs, when he makes me mad. LOL Sorry, for the humor, can't help it nowdays. The demons i my mind are getting too me lately.

 

Re: How does your T greet you?

Posted by dia on March 4, 2006, at 22:19:00

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you?, posted by happyflower on March 3, 2006, at 10:35:39

Let's see...I wait in a little lobby area and no one else is usually there since we have late afternoon appointments. He walks down the stairs and says 'hey' to me casually then I follow him up to his office. Or if he comes out of the door behind me and I'm sitting against that wall, he'll put his hand on my shoulder and say hi and I follow him to his office. He opens the door then stands back against the wall so I can walk in first, then follows and shuts the door behind. I get paranoid that he is checking out my backside sometimes as I walk by lol.

When we leave he opens the door for me again but then walks side by side with me back down to the lobby and we sometimes talk there for a few more minutes. I think I am in love with him lol. This is an interesting topic though, I've never really thought about the 'greeting process'.
-Dia-

 

Freudian slip?

Posted by annierose on March 5, 2006, at 8:01:05

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you?, posted by dia on March 4, 2006, at 22:19:00

I thought of this thread this previous Friday. When I walked upstairs to my T's office, the hallway was littered with painters & supplies. As I opened the door to her waiting area, it was pitch black! I paused, wondered, hey did I mess up my time? Is this the Friday she cancelled? Within seconds I could hear her voice on the phone (I'm her first client on Fridays) so I turned on the light switch and sat down.

In this waiting room she usually turns on desk lamps and a radio. But I figured that wasn't my job.

It did give me pause. Did she forget about me? Did she feel like we're working in the dark? What would Freud say?

How would you guys feel?

 

Re: p.s.

Posted by annierose on March 5, 2006, at 8:02:57

In reply to Freudian slip?, posted by annierose on March 5, 2006, at 8:01:05

When she opened the door to get me, she was surprised (since she doesn't put the overhead lights on).

"Oh I'm sorry, I normally turn on the lights as soon as I come in, but today I had my hands full."

Whatever.

 

Re: p.s. » annierose

Posted by Poet on March 5, 2006, at 17:06:17

In reply to Re: p.s., posted by annierose on March 5, 2006, at 8:02:57

Hi Annierose,

Being paranoid, I would instantly think that I am a real handfull. LOL.

Poet

 

Re: How does your T greet you?

Posted by chinchilla1 on March 5, 2006, at 20:11:04

In reply to How does your T greet you?, posted by bent on March 2, 2006, at 14:52:54

My T always says to each client "Walk this way..." I always think of Aerosmith for some reason.

Chinchilla1

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » chinchilla1

Posted by fairywings on March 6, 2006, at 23:26:50

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you?, posted by chinchilla1 on March 5, 2006, at 20:11:04

Or the movie.....was it "young Frankenstein"?
Egore said, "Walk this way....." ; )
fw

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » fairywings

Posted by chinchilla1 on March 7, 2006, at 13:21:14

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you? » chinchilla1, posted by fairywings on March 6, 2006, at 23:26:50

Ah...isn't that "FrankenSTEEN"?
Chinchilla1

 

Re: How does your T greet you? » chinchilla1

Posted by fairywings on March 7, 2006, at 18:13:52

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you? » fairywings, posted by chinchilla1 on March 7, 2006, at 13:21:14

Hey, don't rub it in that your brain works, and mine doesn't! ; )
fw

 

Re: How does your T greet you?

Posted by rubenstein on March 14, 2006, at 10:13:47

In reply to Re: How does your T greet you?, posted by dia on March 4, 2006, at 22:19:00

This week I guess my therapist was early, I go to a college clinic, and I am always there first sitting in the same seat, and I walk out and he is in my seat. It totally scared me and I laughed for it was spring break and hardly anybody was there. It was quite a surprise and a start to a good session

rachel


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