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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 14:05:37
In reply to Re: Why did I do that? » LegWarmers, posted by crazy teresa on February 8, 2006, at 13:58:15
> Letting off some steam beats the heck out of an all-out explosion.
Yeah, and at least when I do it here people don't say to me...
"what are you talking about, everything is fine, it must be you"
Posted by Susan47 on February 8, 2006, at 14:35:38
In reply to Re: Why did I do that? » crazy teresa, posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 14:05:37
(((Legwarmers))) Actually, it's probably a combination, because if it weren't you then all the negative feelings you have about yourself wouldn't exist. What's so terrible about you? Are you a psycopath? I don't think you're a failure. Who thinks you're lazy, who's making you live up to their expectations? Maybe you need to give yourself a break, you're not all the bad things you're thinking are about you. That's what depressed thinking does, though.
Posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 15:30:49
In reply to Re: Why did I do that? » LegWarmers, posted by Susan47 on February 8, 2006, at 14:35:38
> (((Legwarmers))) Actually, it's probably a combination, because if it weren't you then all the negative feelings you have about yourself wouldn't exist. What's so terrible about you?
Thanks Susan
I don't know, I just feel terrible>Are you a psycopath?
no
>I don't think you're a failure.
thanks
>Who thinks you're lazy, who's making you live up to their expectations?
a few people. expectations seem to be a part of life, I feel them all around me. maybe they are mine, but maybe not. Sometimes, I just dont think I can do it.
>Maybe you need to give yourself a break, you're not all the bad things you're thinking are about you. That's what depressed thinking does, though.
maybe, I think Im a few of those things. Im not a mean person.
Even though I really shouldn't, can't, or deserve to, Im puting today on hold till tomorrow. I can't do today.
Posted by sleepygirl on February 8, 2006, at 18:12:42
In reply to Why did I do that?, posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 13:25:58
Now why on earth would I want to ignore you?
I hear the frustration - I do
It's hard to find motivation sometimes, to move past everything that may stand in your way. You remind me of myself. Keep talking about it OK?
Posted by sleepygirl on February 8, 2006, at 18:17:30
In reply to I can't handle anything right now, posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 13:12:54
Sweetheart, you can be all sorts of angry and frustrated if you need to be - it actually helps me to see it from another person - although I wish you didn't have to feel this way.
You've got needs damn it! and that's OK
Sounds like you're really down on yourself - whose expectations are these anyway?
Be gentle with yourself. Talk more.
Posted by Dinah on February 8, 2006, at 20:26:47
In reply to I can't handle anything right now, posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 13:12:54
Could it be depression?
I'm so different in one mood state than I am in another that I can barely recognize myself. And it's so easy to blame it on laziness or all sorts of other personal shortcomings.
But if that's the answer, why am I so full of all of those problems only sometimes? While other times (like last year for you) you weren't that way at all?
Posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 21:19:08
In reply to Re: Why did I do that? » LegWarmers, posted by sleepygirl on February 8, 2006, at 18:12:42
> I hear the frustration - I do
> It's hard to find motivation sometimes, to move past everything that may stand in your way.Its incredibly frustrating, I feel like I hit my head against a wall at times. Im the biggest road block. Its all me. I need to keep telling myself that! I get so motivated for things when Im feeling myself, like extra motivated and I do them and the important things get ignored. And now, I dont want to do anything, or I can't seem to do anything, at all. I had to go out tonight and it was truely, hard *ss work!
>You remind me of myself. Keep talking about it OK?
Thanks Sleepy
Posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 21:29:43
In reply to Re: I can't handle anything right now » LegWarmers, posted by sleepygirl on February 8, 2006, at 18:17:30
> Sweetheart, you can be all sorts of angry and frustrated if you need to be - it actually helps me to see it from another person - although I wish you didn't have to feel this way.
> You've got needs damn it! and that's OK
> Sounds like you're really down on yourself - whose expectations are these anyway?they are everyones around me and mine. they aren't really unrealistic either, thats the sad part. They aren't... thats whats so hard. But a part of me must not want to succeed in life? Why would I give such half *ss effort? I am very down on myslef but feeling very deserving of it today. Its about time I let myself know how I feel about myself and really soak it in! Maybe it will be the kick in the *ss I need to pay my bills before they disconnect my phone and everything else I need to do.
> Be gentle with yourself. Talk more.
thanks for listening
Posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 21:55:50
In reply to Re: I can't handle anything right now » LegWarmers, posted by Dinah on February 8, 2006, at 20:26:47
> Could it be depression?
>It could, Im trying to figure out what has happened. A part of me thinks that they is extra stress on me that has caused this but another part of me thinks that some major changes in my life over the last year have piled up and for what ever reason every few months or so it seems get too much. But I dont know, i dont understand, I don't feel supported emotionally (outside of here)
> I'm so different in one mood state than I am in another that I can barely recognize myself. And it's so easy to blame it on laziness or all sorts of other personal shortcomings.
Its so confusing when this happens.
this really kind considerate person told me that I was lazy among other things, actually a few people have. But they were trying to be helpful, tough love maybe? I never thought I was lazy until it was vrought to my attention. Now I do...now I see all that they see. but then again, I dont take peoples suggestions to heart that easlity normally, usually I think about it, sift through it.... but I feel like the things that were said to me, are what people think of me and so its probably true, but then again....they dont know all that ive done in my life.> But if that's the answer, why am I so full of all of those problems only sometimes? While other times (like last year for you) you weren't that way at all?
yeah, i know what you mean.
it probably started just over a year ago. I started therapy, it didnt work out, I started with someone else and that didnt work out. basicly...things were opened up and now I feel like I have been left to the wolves with open wounds. I feel very raw and vulnerable and Im irritable. But I do have wonderful days, no thoughts in my head except those good ole cheery ones, Im content, I enjoy life! Then something like this happens?? im pmsing, I wonder if thats my prblem? maybe I have a severe severe pms disorder? So over the last year I have experienced waves of feelings simliar to this whoch contine and lessen and then next time its worse ..and the cycle goes on....and on. this, is very new.
Oh god I dont know what is wrong with me but its scaring me.
at times it gets to be too much for my brain to take in
Im amazed I managed to communicate all that!
thanks Dinah
Posted by Dinah on February 8, 2006, at 22:36:14
In reply to Re: I can't handle anything right now » Dinah, posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 21:55:50
It's not unlike that for me. There are long term moods, but even within those there are short term mood state shifts that make me feel like a stranger to myself.
I'm diagnosed formally with cyclothymia, which allows for short term mood shifts. But I'm not sure it also accounts for the long term moods.
If you can chart the moods, you might be able to tell if there are hormonal components. I think lately PMS has been a factor for me, but there are other times when I swear I'm more cheerful then, and have trouble around ovulation. Or times when it doesn't seem to make any difference at all.
Long term stress can definitely be a factor.
Posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 22:53:19
In reply to Re: I can't handle anything right now » LegWarmers, posted by Dinah on February 8, 2006, at 22:36:14
>
> If you can chart the moods, you might be able to tell if there are hormonal components.I think i might be able to take a look at my posting history when im feeling up to it and get some answers
>I think lately PMS has been a factor for me, but there are other times when I swear I'm more cheerful then, and have trouble around ovulation. Or times when it doesn't seem to make any difference at all.
>I never pay attention, but I always place blame on it, I should chart my moods. good idea.
Posted by muffled on February 9, 2006, at 13:09:19
In reply to Re: I can't handle anything right now » Dinah, posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 22:53:19
Posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 15:52:25
In reply to (((((((((((((lw)))))))))))if ya want 'em (nm) » LegWarmers, posted by muffled on February 9, 2006, at 13:09:19
Posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 16:11:08
In reply to I can't handle anything right now, posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 13:12:54
there is a monthly thing happening...
my body gets taken over by someone who really hates me, its a horrible time
thanks all, you really help me
Posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 17:02:44
In reply to it seems, posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 16:11:08
is that it doesnt explain my laziness and lack of motivation...or does it...
maybe I get to caught up with things and then they get too much for me
Im trying to remind myself that nothing matters, nothing is really *that* important
Posted by Susan47 on February 9, 2006, at 17:25:25
In reply to What is so annoying though, posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 17:02:44
> is that it doesnt explain my laziness and lack of motivation...or does it...
> maybe I get to caught up with things and then they get too much for me
> Im trying to remind myself that nothing matters, nothing is really *that* importantPeople are always told not to say "I know how you feel", we're taught that it's presumptuous to do that .. but .. well .. I know how you feel. :] I think you might be realizing though that being hard on yourself is cruel, you wouldn't be as hard on anyone else as you are on yourself .. and others are letting you know what they see, and it might very well be them acknowledging that you have a problem with your happiness. I mean, maybe it's not the lack of being able to take action that's the problem, that's more the symptom, and they're saying, I see the symptom .. can I help you with the problem? What IS the problem .. and you don't know, yet, but you know you're not comfortable in your skin so can't do anything because it's all too scary, the consequences are ... just scary. I've felt like that before and the feeling just grows and gets worse, unless you find a way to deal with it. I found pot .. and good friends .. knowing who friends are, what they feel like to my heart ... it's important to start with the positives, positive people will bring you happiness and the contentment, but it's finding them AND the drug AND the therapy ... Susan, you're preaching, you realize that you sound like you're preaching, do you not ???
Posted by Susan47 on February 9, 2006, at 17:26:04
In reply to it seems, posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 16:11:08
Really, really sorry everybody, I got .. chillingly carried away.
Posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 17:57:54
In reply to Re: What is so annoying though, posted by Susan47 on February 9, 2006, at 17:25:25
> > is that it doesnt explain my laziness and lack of motivation...or does it...
> > maybe I get to caught up with things and then they get too much for me
> > Im trying to remind myself that nothing matters, nothing is really *that* important
>
> People are always told not to say "I know how you feel", we're taught that it's presumptuous to do that .. but .. well .. I know how you feel. :] I think you might be realizing though that being hard on yourself is cruel, you wouldn't be as hard on anyone else as you are on yourself .. and others are letting you know what they see, and it might very well be them acknowledging that you have a problem with your happiness.sometimes I dont feel deserving of my happiness. It doesnt make any sense to me. Sometimes people say things to me and i don't think they intend to hurt me, but they cut very deeply. But I think it is because they are hitting my achililes (how ever you spell it) tendon
>I mean, maybe it's not the lack of being able to take action that's the problem, that's more the symptom, and they're saying, I see the symptom .. can I help you with the problem? What IS the problem .. and you don't know, yet, but you know you're not comfortable in your skin so can't do anything because it's all too scary, the consequences are ... just scary.
I think..you might have something there. I discussed some of these issues today and I think it has a lot to do with figuring out who I am. I thought I should have done that 5 or 10 years ago but Im a slow learner I suppose.
There is a lot of conflict, i don't know what to do with it>I've felt like that before and the feeling just grows and gets worse, unless you find a way to deal with it. I found pot .. and good friends .. knowing who friends are, what they feel like to my heart ... it's important to start with the positives, positive people will bring you happiness and the contentment, but it's finding them AND the drug AND the therapy ... Susan, you're preaching, you realize that you sound like you're preaching, do you not ???
>You're cute Susan! thanks for the insight. A part of me knows the problem, a part of me wants to make it disapear with an excuse, a part of me doesnt know if that really is the problem, or if its another excuse, a part of me wants to pretend that everything is wonderful and a part of me thinks IM NUTS!
Therapy...Im working on that lol My t basically told me I was lazy (reverse psychology?), it didn't go over well with me. Now its got me questioning myself about everything! I do have good friends, and I try to center myself around positive people, but when I get really down on myself for things I feel guilty, I feel guilty for feeling so bad, for feeling sorry for myself, and then I realize that Im a huge failure and oh it goes on and on... and I dont feel I am allowed to feel that way. Im crazy
Posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 17:59:18
In reply to Sorry, posted by Susan47 on February 9, 2006, at 17:26:04
Don't apologize
I feel understood
Posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 18:03:19
In reply to Re: What is so annoying though, posted by Susan47 on February 9, 2006, at 17:25:25
> can't do anything because it's all too scary, the consequences are ... just scary.
Im really scared, I had no idea
Posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 19:52:45
In reply to I can't handle anything right now, posted by LegWarmers on February 8, 2006, at 13:12:54
Im about to do something that I really need to do and I have been putting it off for way too long.
if I don't do it...
Im going to give away all my shoes, and you all heard me
Posted by tryingtobewise on February 10, 2006, at 0:37:53
In reply to ok... breathe, posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 19:52:45
LegWarmers I can relate to so much of your posts. I swear I could have written your original thread-starter.
Susan, if you read this I thought your response was very eloquent and very helpful to me...and it sounds like LegWarmers too.
LegWarmers all my best to you. You aren't alone.
Kim
Posted by LegWarmers on February 10, 2006, at 9:31:13
In reply to Re: ok... breathe, posted by tryingtobewise on February 10, 2006, at 0:37:53
> LegWarmers all my best to you. You aren't alone.
>
> KimThanks Kim!
Posted by Susan47 on February 10, 2006, at 14:23:44
In reply to Re: What is so annoying though » Susan47, posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 17:57:54
> sometimes I dont feel deserving of my happiness. It doesnt make any sense to me. Sometimes people say things to me and i don't think they intend to hurt me, but they cut very deeply. But I think it is because they are hitting my achililes (how ever you spell it) tendon
>
Well when your head is full of negativity and little else, there's not much left to see the other side with, you know? So a lot of things won't make sense and WILL be hurtful because you don't know how to see things any other way. It just makes sense. It really does. It's your thinking, it's your interpretation that's a problem, not what they said. Most people really aren't into hurting anybody, it's true, it's really true, most people WANT you to like them and want to be around them. But when you're not sure about who you are, when you haven't discovered your wonderful-ness, it doesn't feel like that .. and you can't give much of your real self, not having discovered it, yet.I'm a slow learner. I'm 48 going on 49 going on what should have been, probably, 19 or so ...? Don't feel bad. Some people aren't ever lucky enough to be able to work on these things.
>
bad, for feeling sorry for myself, and then I realize that Im a huge failure and oh it goes on and on... and I dont feel I am allowed to feel that way. Im crazy
No you're not, you're totally aware of what negativity's doing to your life, and it DOES feel crazy, when you start seeing that there's something else in life, I mean, where have you BEEN all these years??? Thanks for valuing my opinion, as it is only that, and always strongly worded, in spite of my good intentions.
Posted by Susan47 on February 10, 2006, at 14:28:16
In reply to you know what? » Susan47, posted by LegWarmers on February 9, 2006, at 18:03:19
and do it a couple of times, even close your eyes for a minute ... let go of all the fear, don't even think about anything that HAS to be done because you WILL do it, you know .. and the funniest thing is that once you have let go of all the no thinking, what you thought was scary won't be anymore, and it's easier than you imagined, and GUESS WHAT? IF you can't do it, you know someone who CAN or someone who can help you get it done, a friend with the necessary skills is Always always always right behind that door .. you just have to open your eyes and your mind and let go of the no thinking, there is no more "no" thinking allowed, it's all "yes" now, and imagine your life at your most powerful, the most beautiful part of you .. what is it?
I think I took too much energy tonic this morning, heeeheee.
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