Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 603035

Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Feeling pretty hopeless

Posted by Racer on January 26, 2006, at 13:38:01

Sorry to sound so much like a whining parrot, but I feel very hopeless today.

I've been feeling very bad lately, and I don't think it's all psychological: I think the meds are involved in this. I was trying to explain to my therapist, who suggested a personal trainer she works with as a way to find out how much is fixable by more effort on my part. I've been feeling as though I'm kinda trapped inside myself, as though I have energy, but I can't get to the surface of myself to use it. And even just walking up the stairs feels impossible, as though my legs won't respond to my brain. I know, it's not making a lot of sense, but it's like I'm so withdrawn inside myself that I just *can't* do anything. I did try to exercise at home a week or so ago, and literally COULD NOT do it. I felt much worse after giving up, too, than I had before I tried.

So, the personal trainer was to try to see if that was physical or psychological. And I called my husband to see if I could do it. He said yes -- but that it couldn't be a regular thing. So, I made an appointment for the consultation. Only to have him come home and start on the "we need to talk about money, because you don't even look at our financial position, etc." (Money is a major hot button for me, and does send me over the edge -- especially when it's thrown at me out of the blue and when he's doing his usual 'no point, just going on about how much I don't pay attention to it.') So, I cancelled the appointment.

And I feel as though I'm never going to get anywhere. Our marriage counseling is circling the drain and I'm more frustrated every week. The insurance company just informed me that they are requesting a refund from my nutritional counselor, because they should never have paid for any of it. I don't feel at all comfortable with the new pdoc -- so much so I'm ready to stop all the drugs. (Which I am ready to do anyway, to see if that helps with that paralysed feeling.)

I think I'm just whining. I wish I knew what to do -- I would schedule extra therapy, but if we can't afford the PT, we obviously can't afford that. I think it's time for a nap, because I feel so overwhelmed by life today that being awake seems like a lousy idea.

 

Re: Feeling pretty hopeless » Racer

Posted by muffled on January 26, 2006, at 14:34:54

In reply to Feeling pretty hopeless, posted by Racer on January 26, 2006, at 13:38:01

(((((((racer))))) sounds hard.
Mebbe it is the meds. They can do weird stuff sometimes. Just ask clearskies.
Take care,
muffled

 

Re: Feeling pretty hopeless

Posted by Berberis on January 26, 2006, at 15:20:09

In reply to Feeling pretty hopeless, posted by Racer on January 26, 2006, at 13:38:01

(((((Racer)))))

I could've written your post about husband and money. Sometimes I think he doesn't believe being treated for mental illness is as important as being treated for a physical condition; that it's wasted money. And I'm often not strong enough to disagree. Easy to see how a person can feel hopeless. It's so much easier to sleep, drink, self-medicate to not have to deal with any of it. How do we advocate for ourselves when we barely have the strength to get out of bed?

 

Re: Feeling pretty hopeless

Posted by fairywings on January 26, 2006, at 15:43:23

In reply to Re: Feeling pretty hopeless, posted by Berberis on January 26, 2006, at 15:20:09

(((racer))) if you think it might be the meds, is it possible to figure out which one is causing you to feel so withdrawn? Instead of quitting all of them, can you tell which one(s) make you feel better and just take those. Can you find a new pdoc?

As far as money goes, are there other things you can cut in order to work with the trainer?

It is exhausting to feel this way. Hope you can figure out what's doing it.
fw

 

Re: Feeling pretty hopeless » Racer

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 15:48:20

In reply to Feeling pretty hopeless, posted by Racer on January 26, 2006, at 13:38:01

> Sorry to sound so much like a whining parrot, but I feel very hopeless today.

Puhleeze. You sound nothing like a whining parrot. 'K? It's perfectly okay and even healthy to post for support.
>
> I've been feeling very bad lately, and I don't think it's all psychological: I think the meds are involved in this. I was trying to explain to my therapist, who suggested a personal trainer she works with as a way to find out how much is fixable by more effort on my part.

Um....I'm hearing something familiar. That this is your "fault" and yours to "fix." Can it be that you are feeling overwhelmed with all the emotions you've been digging into, feeling, and expressing recently. Emotion you've appeared to work very very hard to repress for so darned long? Can you just be paralyzed from the weight of all these emotions? Maybe instead of pushing therapy to "get it all out and over with", maybe you need to ease off a bit. Not stop, and not derail, but maybe just say that you can take this much and not more and still function, so you need to slow down.

Just an initial reaction to reading this a second time.

>I've been feeling as though I'm kinda trapped inside myself, as though I have energy, but I can't get to the surface of myself to use it. And even just walking up the stairs feels impossible, as though my legs won't respond to my brain. I know, it's not making a lot of sense, but it's like I'm so withdrawn inside myself that I just *can't* do anything.

I do think this makes sense. I have felt that way before. Those are the times I just stay in bed, even if I have important stuff to do.

I'm sorry your husband sent you mixed messages. With so much you've told me recently that reflects communication issues about differences in viewpoints (among other things), it's a darned shame that couples counseling is not helping right now. I wish that could get back on track somehow without hassles. :(

> The insurance company just informed me that they are requesting a refund from my nutritional counselor, because they should never have paid for any of it.

Crappy crappy crappy. And not necessarily legal. I don't know the legalities, but your state insurance office might be able to help. Maybe I can get some info for you about this. Or maybe someone else knows?

>I don't feel at all comfortable with the new pdoc -- so much so I'm ready to stop all the drugs. (Which I am ready to do anyway, to see if that helps with that paralysed feeling.)

Okay, all or nothing? I know it feels like you don't have many choices. That's the nature of depression. You sound depressed, and no wonder given what you've been struggling with. But please don't go off all your meds. Tweak, don't toss.

((((((((racer)))))))

Feel free to join Daisy and me in front of the fire. I've got an air mattress for the other spare bedroom. And we have shoe stores here, too. Probably not like you have there, but still....it's the process, right?
>
> I think I'm just whining.

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no you're not.

I think a nap sounds like a very good idea.

Sweet dreams.

gg

 

Re: Feeling pretty hopeless » gardenergirl

Posted by Racer on January 26, 2006, at 16:27:28

In reply to Re: Feeling pretty hopeless » Racer, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 15:48:20

> >
> Okay, all or nothing? I know it feels like you don't have many choices. Tweak, don't toss.

I know, it does sound all or nothing -- and I'm about to post about it on the meds board -- but I was feeling this on just the Wellbutrin, too, so I can't help but think it's both drugs, not just one. You know?

Thanks, to everyone, for responding.

 

Re: Feeling pretty hopeless

Posted by fallsfall on January 26, 2006, at 18:34:17

In reply to Feeling pretty hopeless, posted by Racer on January 26, 2006, at 13:38:01

I know that "not being able to climb the stairs" feeling. The solution for me was therapy.

(((Racer)))

 

Re: Feeling pretty hopeless » Racer

Posted by Tamar on January 26, 2006, at 18:49:33

In reply to Feeling pretty hopeless, posted by Racer on January 26, 2006, at 13:38:01

> Sorry to sound so much like a whining parrot, but I feel very hopeless today.

Sorry you’re feeling hopeless. I don’t think you’re whining, though; you’re just talking. It’s OK to say how bad you feel…

> I've been feeling very bad lately, and I don't think it's all psychological: I think the meds are involved in this. I was trying to explain to my therapist, who suggested a personal trainer she works with as a way to find out how much is fixable by more effort on my part. I've been feeling as though I'm kinda trapped inside myself, as though I have energy, but I can't get to the surface of myself to use it. And even just walking up the stairs feels impossible, as though my legs won't respond to my brain. I know, it's not making a lot of sense, but it's like I'm so withdrawn inside myself that I just *can't* do anything. I did try to exercise at home a week or so ago, and literally COULD NOT do it. I felt much worse after giving up, too, than I had before I tried.

I tend to agree with you about meds, mainly because I’m not finding meds as helpful as I’d hoped (so I’m probably projecting). But I *do* think that in the last few weeks you’ve been sounding increasingly depressed, and I think you need urgent help.

> So, the personal trainer was to try to see if that was physical or psychological. And I called my husband to see if I could do it. He said yes -- but that it couldn't be a regular thing. So, I made an appointment for the consultation. Only to have him come home and start on the "we need to talk about money, because you don't even look at our financial position, etc." (Money is a major hot button for me, and does send me over the edge -- especially when it's thrown at me out of the blue and when he's doing his usual 'no point, just going on about how much I don't pay attention to it.') So, I cancelled the appointment.

OK, I’m not a professional. But you said you tried to exercise, couldn’t do it, and then felt worse. Sounds psychological to me. Probably not physical. Just my two cents, and I’m not an expert.

> And I feel as though I'm never going to get anywhere. Our marriage counseling is circling the drain and I'm more frustrated every week. The insurance company just informed me that they are requesting a refund from my nutritional counselor, because they should never have paid for any of it. I don't feel at all comfortable with the new pdoc -- so much so I'm ready to stop all the drugs. (Which I am ready to do anyway, to see if that helps with that paralysed feeling.)

In my experience, my relationships with the people I live with are extremely important. Sorting things out with my husband is making a real difference to my feelings, and being an adequate parent is especially important to me. It can be VERY difficult because you have to make yourself vulnerable and you *will* get hurt sometimes. But your husband promised to love you until death. If he’s half the man you thought he was when you married him, he’ll learn how to be there for you eventually. One of the hardest things is that you have to cope with his feelings when you’re not at your best emotionally. And until he learns what’s at stake, you’ll probably find yourself carrying most of the emotional weight of the relationship. But if you are doing counselling together he should eventually hear you and learn what he needs to say and do to help you. Oh, and one thing I found is that touching helps immensely. It doesn’t have to be sexual; just regular cuddling and physical contact makes me feel so much better. I don’t know if that would work for you too…

> I think I'm just whining. I wish I knew what to do -- I would schedule extra therapy, but if we can't afford the PT, we obviously can't afford that. I think it's time for a nap, because I feel so overwhelmed by life today that being awake seems like a lousy idea.

I’m sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed. FWIW, I’m not sure if the PT would really have been the answer. I’d recommend going out the door of your place, walking for two minutes, then turning around and walking back. You’ll be out for four minutes at the most. If you’re enjoying it, you can walk for longer. If you’re hating it, it’s only four minutes out of your day. The important thing is to do it every day, as early as possible. On days when you feel you can’t face it, just tell yourself you can walk very very slowly and if you only take ten steps in four minutes, that’s fine. Even if you only take four steps, that’s fine. Oh, and don’t force yourself to shower or brush your teeth before going out. This is just a four minute walk; heck, you can do it with a coat over your jammies if you want… Also, don’t make any rash promises to increase it from four minutes. If you do ten minutes one day, it doesn’t mean you can do ten minutes the next day. Don’t increase the pressure on yourself. Four minutes is enough.

Well, it works for me. Again, just my two cents.

Tamar

 

Just about the exercise thing » Racer

Posted by James K on January 26, 2006, at 23:48:49

In reply to Feeling pretty hopeless, posted by Racer on January 26, 2006, at 13:38:01

I know this is not the point of your post, and I think I understand that it doesn't seem an option for many reasons right now, but your post reminded me of something.

I've read about this new chain of gyms called (I think) Curves. It's just women, cheap, small places in strip malls etc. It may have a christian basis. But the idea is support and health not appearance and status. If that sounds at all appealing, when you are ready maybe you could look into it.

Just a thought. I'd love to be in a gym. I never have and right now money and energy are a problem for me as well. I've spent much of the last two years in the house.

James K


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