Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 603003

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 25. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Didn't expect this---transference and termination

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 11:12:48

Hi everyone,
I'm back in town. Boy does it feel good to be home, and it was great to see my T the other day.

I've had a lot going on since Thankgiving...sort of like Four Weddings and a Funeral, along with the holidays, and some family conflict with my hubby's family.

So going into the session, I was thinking, "Where do I start?" I finally started telling him about some of the stuff with hubby's family and what had gone on during the vacation. And then a bit about my Grandmother's funeral party. As I was talking, I realized that I was just sort of "telling him". I wasn't really asking for or feeling I needed help with it.

I started talking about that, and we both acknowledged that I was doing better, especially given all that has been going on.

Then I told him that while scanning some family pictures into the computer, I had felt a desire to bring some of them in to share them with him. They were all mostly from age 3-4. I couldn't figure out why I would want to do that if I was doing so much better. I suppose it might have something to do with wanting to feel he's a part of my family, too. I've been spending tons of time with family, and it's been quite nice most of the time....lots of expressions of love and caring in both directions (and the creepy hugger has stopped!!!) Woo hoo!

At any rate, he said maybe I have a wish for him to include me in his family. I also told him that I was curious about how he felt about me, but I have never asked. Then there was one of those moments when you can just feel the caring. Sigh. We talked about positive transference and another "t" word--termination.

We both agree it looks like I'm headed into that phase. You know, I always have sort of assumed that when we terminate, it will be because I've graduated, not necessarily because it's the right time.

I'm just trying on this idea, and we have a long way to go to work through the pain I know will come with that.

It's also very new and sort of amazing to me that my interactions with others are so different and so much more satisfying perhaps because of something different in me--something that results in me saying or doing something different like ending the creepy hug before it gets creepy, or, I don't know....just coming across different, which is allowing others to act/react differently, too.

It sometimes feels like magic, or some strange and wonderful unconscious interaction that can't be seen or described...just experienced. I guess that idea that one unconscious can speak to another might fit in with how things are different.

I actually shared some stuff with my mom about how I viewed my childhood, and for once, she listened and responded instead of just shrugging it off or saying she didn't see it.

Later in the afternoon after my session, I was skipping down the hallway singing "Follow the Yellow Brick Road" to my dog. Guess I felt happy, eh?

Oh, and just so you know it was not all magical and special....

When I was wiping my eyes with a kleenex, I must have breathed in with my mouth too hard, because I sucked the kleenex in and it stuck to my tongue. Blech!

And then when I got to my car I realized that my zipper was open! I have no idea how long, but I do know that if it was open when I stood up, there's no way he could have missed it---my sweater only went to my waist, and the color of my underwear, let's just say contrasted sharply with my jeans.

Sigh. I laughed so hard. I feel like I should say something, but if by chance he didn't see it or it happened outside, I don't want to call attention to it. As Daisy said, imagine the interpretations he could make if he went all Freudian on me...

:-D

Thanks for reading this long. I'd be interested in what y'all think.

gg

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl

Posted by fallsfall on January 26, 2006, at 12:14:12

In reply to Didn't expect this---transference and termination, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 11:12:48

Get dark blue underwear.

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl

Posted by fallsfall on January 26, 2006, at 12:16:12

In reply to Didn't expect this---transference and termination, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 11:12:48

Wow. You sound so calm about this. Guess that is what happens when you are ready (ready to start thinking about talking about considering...).

I'm happy for you. Will that give you more time (in the future) for Babble?

(((GG)))

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination

Posted by James K on January 26, 2006, at 14:04:44

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on January 26, 2006, at 12:16:12

It never occurred to me that a non-animate object could have a Freudian slip. It makes me wonder about banana peels and soap.

congratulations on improving.

James K

 

Nice post. Good on ya GG! LOL! (nm) James K

Posted by muffled on January 26, 2006, at 14:31:17

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination, posted by James K on January 26, 2006, at 14:04:44

 

ooops above for GG (nm)

Posted by muffled on January 26, 2006, at 14:32:15

In reply to Nice post. Good on ya GG! LOL! (nm) James K, posted by muffled on January 26, 2006, at 14:31:17

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination James K

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 15:09:25

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination, posted by James K on January 26, 2006, at 14:04:44

> It never occurred to me that a non-animate object could have a Freudian slip. It makes me wonder about banana peels and soap.

Oh so many things to wonder about....

:-D
>
> congratulations on improving.

Thanks.

gg
>
> James K

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination fallsfall

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 15:12:25

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on January 26, 2006, at 12:14:12

> Get dark blue underwear.

Excellent idea! Fixing/checking the zipper is also a good idea.

gg

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination fallsfall

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 15:15:21

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on January 26, 2006, at 12:16:12

> Wow. You sound so calm about this.

I do, don't I? Weird. As I go through the process, assuming that's really what's happening, I'm sure more floodgates will open. That's what I do, afterall.

> Guess that is what happens when you are ready (ready to start thinking about talking about considering...).

LOL. Yeah, I think I'm ready for at least something you said.
>
> I'm happy for you. Will that give you more time (in the future) for Babble?

Thanks. Eh...probably not right now. I have a super ton to do in the next six weeks before I have to go out of town again. And here I am online all day. But I'll try to be more efficient with my time here and there.

gg


 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl

Posted by fairywings on January 26, 2006, at 15:33:32

In reply to Didn't expect this---transference and termination, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 11:12:48

(((GG))) I'm glad you're back, and for the most part it sounds like you had an angel on your shoulder. I"m glad things went so well, and you sound like you're feeling......radiant! Hope the trend continues for a long time.

And I rarely laugh at things I read, but the things about the Kleenex and the zipper were priceless.

fw

 

Thanks muffly. :-) (nm) muffled

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 15:54:31

In reply to Nice post. Good on ya GG! LOL! (nm) James K, posted by muffled on January 26, 2006, at 14:31:17

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination fairywings

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 15:55:36

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl, posted by fairywings on January 26, 2006, at 15:33:32

Glad to provide the laugh. I laughed pretty hard, too.

And thanks. I'm glad I sound sort of like I feel right now.

Good to be back, too.

Hope you're doing okay. I'm so out of the loop.

gg

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and terminat

Posted by 10derHeart on January 26, 2006, at 15:56:14

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl, posted by fallsfall on January 26, 2006, at 12:14:12

> Get dark blue underwear.

Or, perhaps many pairs of jeans, each precisely matching the shade of each pair of underwear! (excuse for a shopping trip :-))

'course that might depend on the variety of color/patterns you're dealing with, which I am not expecting you to divulge here ;-)

Seriously, that was a nice post. You do sound quite wonderful at the moment. I know what you mean about the *magic* - I've experienced it once or twice, briefly, and it's something that does help me believe the agonizing parts of therapy really DO pay off eventually.... good for you!

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and terminat gardenergirl

Posted by Dinah on January 26, 2006, at 17:14:18

In reply to Didn't expect this---transference and termination, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 11:12:48

I'm so pleased for you, gg.

 

It is a good thing you DO wear undies!

Posted by happyflower on January 26, 2006, at 17:23:23

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and terminat, posted by 10derHeart on January 26, 2006, at 15:56:14

LOL, sorry too much therapy lately, I am thinking too postitively. LOL

 

THAT is an excellent point, hf!! Yikes!! ;-) (nm) happyflower

Posted by 10derHeart on January 26, 2006, at 18:05:12

In reply to It is a good thing you DO wear undies!, posted by happyflower on January 26, 2006, at 17:23:23

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl

Posted by annierose on January 26, 2006, at 19:11:06

In reply to Didn't expect this---transference and termination, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 11:12:48

I'm glad you're feeling stronger and more self confident. It is a good feeling. I sometimes surprise myself at certain "new" reactions I'm experiencing that used to send me in a different direction entirely. But I think I'd melt in a puddle of tears if my T suggested it was time to think about termination. Not there yet. Good for you.

You have been busy! Lots of emotional situations as well.

Why did you think it was a "bad" sign to want to share photos with your T? I don't think it's a sign either way. You have shared so much of yourself with him using words, so now it's a picture. I see it as another way to express yourself.

You've done good GG!
Welcome back to my part of town. I'm heading to the BIG APPLE at 6:30 a.m. --- seriously, just what was I thinking when I booked that reservation?

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination annierose

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 19:42:17

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl, posted by annierose on January 26, 2006, at 19:11:06

Oh yeah, have a great trip. I hope you find some time (yeah right) to relax a tiny bit. Next time I'm up your way, I hope it's not a quick dash in and out of town.

And I've done the 6:30 a.m. flight thing. Turns out that day was the first day of Spring Break for two colleges. Who would have thought the airport would be so crowded that 50+ people would miss their flights at 6:30 a.m.? So make sure you're not like me, and leave yourself plenty of time.

About therapy...would you believe I'm the one who actually said the "T" word?

Ack!

gg

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and terminat 10derHeart

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 19:44:08

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and terminat, posted by 10derHeart on January 26, 2006, at 15:56:14

> > Get dark blue underwear.
>
> Or, perhaps many pairs of jeans, each precisely matching the shade of each pair of underwear! (excuse for a shopping trip :-))

Oh my.... I'm blushing now. ;)

>
>
> Seriously, that was a nice post. You do sound quite wonderful at the moment. I know what you mean about the *magic* - I've experienced it once or twice, briefly, and it's something that does help me believe the agonizing parts of therapy really DO pay off eventually.... good for you!

Thanks. I'm glad someone else has eperienced it as magical. I was wondering if that was weird, especially since I'm supposed to know how it all works. Somehow, and this is likely a good thing, I forget most of that when in the session. Or at least I do now.

Thanks,

gg
>

 

Thanks Dinah :-) (nm) Dinah

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 19:45:10

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and terminat gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on January 26, 2006, at 17:14:18

 

'nother good point! (nm) happyflower

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 19:45:52

In reply to It is a good thing you DO wear undies!, posted by happyflower on January 26, 2006, at 17:23:23

 

Oh and to answer other question annierose

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 19:48:37

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl, posted by annierose on January 26, 2006, at 19:11:06

> > Why did you think it was a "bad" sign to want to share photos with your T? I don't think it's a sign either way. You have shared so much of yourself with him using words, so now it's a picture. I see it as another way to express yourself.

Thanks for that validation. I guess I thought it was a bad sign because it felt regressed or maybe that I was clinging or something...I don't know. Like I should be okay without feeling the need to make him smile at how darned cute I was. :-)

I guess it's that irrational fear of/shame of feeling dependent or too connected. But sheesh, connected is good.

sigh

gg
>
> You've done good GG!
> Welcome back to my part of town. I'm heading to the BIG APPLE at 6:30 a.m. --- seriously, just what was I thinking when I booked that reservation?

 

I always said you were dang near perfect ;-D (nm) gardenergirl

Posted by Racer on January 26, 2006, at 20:18:32

In reply to Didn't expect this---transference and termination, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 11:12:48

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl

Posted by Tabitha on January 27, 2006, at 10:06:43

In reply to Didn't expect this---transference and termination, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2006, at 11:12:48

Thanks for posting this. It's always nice to hear about a good ending point in therapy. I'm not there yet, but the past 6 months or year or so I've started to feel confident that I *will* get to an ending point, which is new for me.

I keep thinking about what else I could do with the money I spend on therapy. With the long sessions I'm doing each week, I could be buying a really really nice pair of shoes every week. I picture 50 pairs of expensive shoes in my closet. Not that I'd even want that, but it's a way to realize it's a big chunk of money.

And BTW I've always found it rewarding to share personal photos with my therapist. She seems to see it as a good thing.

 

Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination Tabitha

Posted by gardenergirl on January 27, 2006, at 14:05:54

In reply to Re: Didn't expect this---transference and termination gardenergirl, posted by Tabitha on January 27, 2006, at 10:06:43

> Thanks for posting this. It's always nice to hear about a good ending point in therapy. I'm not there yet, but the past 6 months or year or so I've started to feel confident that I *will* get to an ending point, which is new for me.

Isn't that great? It is a new feeling for me, too. And we're not going to end anytime soon, although he did say that we needed "adequate notice", so I suppose I will have to start thinking of a time frame. (eek! A committment!)
>
> I keep thinking about what else I could do with the money I spend on therapy. With the long sessions I'm doing each week, I could be buying a really really nice pair of shoes every week. I picture 50 pairs of expensive shoes in my closet. Not that I'd even want that, but it's a way to realize it's a big chunk of money.

That's a great way to think of it. I don't have to pay for my sessions. I'm very very lucky that way. Although my T reminds me that my sessions are paid for as part of my tuition, which is quite expensive. So I try to remind myself of what I can do with that money once I graduate.

But I also think that's a metaphor for time, physical energy, and "psychic" energy. I like to think of how much more I can do that's productive or enriching in some new way if I am not devoting so much to keeping defenses going and working on all of this. I know it won't be a complete "freedom" from neurosis, but it seems like a lot less work lately.
>
> And BTW I've always found it rewarding to share personal photos with my therapist. She seems to see it as a good thing.

Thanks for saying that. Maybe I will.

gg


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