Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 602210

Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

messed up(trigger)

Posted by rubenstein on January 23, 2006, at 20:19:22

Sometimes it is so hard to be strong. I waited a day but once again took the easy way out of my problems. Why can't I stop hurting myself. To what end??
Why is music so hard. It is never right.
My life will be a constant race for an unattainable goal.
And yet I can't leave it.
For it calls to my soul.
Sorry for the sad post.
rachel

 

Re: messed up(trigger)

Posted by B2chica on January 24, 2006, at 9:48:37

In reply to messed up(trigger), posted by rubenstein on January 23, 2006, at 20:19:22

(((((ruby)))))
i'm so sorry your hurting yourself. it is very hard to be strong, but sometimes you have to let yourself be weak.
please if you do hurt yourself be safe, clean and take care of your injury.
you will get past this i promise you, it may not be tomorrow or next month but you will. you are wonderful intelligent person who is suffering inside.
i'mm sorry not much help but i wanted to let you know i'm here and i understand.
b2c.

> Sometimes it is so hard to be strong. I waited a day but once again took the easy way out of my problems. Why can't I stop hurting myself. To what end??
> Why is music so hard. It is never right.
> My life will be a constant race for an unattainable goal.
> And yet I can't leave it.
> For it calls to my soul.
> Sorry for the sad post.
> rachel

 

Re: messed up(trigger)

Posted by happyflower on January 25, 2006, at 18:09:28

In reply to messed up(trigger), posted by rubenstein on January 23, 2006, at 20:19:22

> > Why is music so hard. It is never right.
> My life will be a constant race for an unattainable goal.

It sounds like you are very frusterated, I forgot what instument you play, but I am going through something like this too. I am wondering if I should have started to play again, will I be able to obtain what I didn't earlier in my life. But I also get upset when I can't play what I used to play so easily. I practice several hours a day now, and sometimes you can't tell. Sometimes I feel like I really suck.

It seems to me that playing music or writing music, that you can always do better. But yet every musician stives for perfection, (especially , classical players).
Now that I have started to play again, I have realized that I NEED to play, I am happier when I am playing, it is what I was meant to be.
But yes, I get frusterated all the time.
Is there anyway you could take some time off?
Then you can restart with some freshness? I don't know if I am making any sense at all, I just want to help. I think this is why musicians are (what my T says) characters! LOL

> And yet I can't leave it.
> For it calls to my soul.

Then you were meant to do this, maybe just take a break for a couple of weeks. ((((rachel))))

> Sorry for the sad post.
> rachel

 

Re: messed up(trigger)

Posted by rubenstein on January 25, 2006, at 19:20:40

In reply to Re: messed up(trigger), posted by happyflower on January 25, 2006, at 18:09:28

Thank you both for your messages. I do need time off, Bloomington Indiana can be a very scary place. But I push on and try to get this doctorate. But at what expense. My health, my body, my life? We musicians are funny people. We serve the music first and not the person. And I don't know if that is right or not.
rachel

 

Re: messed up(trigger) » rubenstein

Posted by happyflower on January 26, 2006, at 0:34:52

In reply to Re: messed up(trigger), posted by rubenstein on January 25, 2006, at 19:20:40

I didn't know you were going to IU! LOL That is one tough music school. What degree are you going for?
The bands I am playing in are also IU, but IUSB! But it is nothing like the music school.

Take some time off, it will do wonders for you. You will only temp. lose a little technique, but what you will gain will make you better in the long run. :) I am older now, and I know! LOL


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