Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 602048

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 25. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

last one...advice

Posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 10:38:20

well, today is my last session with the best T in the whole world.
last night i wrote a bunch of questions i wanted to ask him or talk about and this morning i looked ALL over and coudn't find it. i'm so dissappointed in myself. i'm sick that i can't find it. my last chance to get good trustworthy advice and i lost it! stupid stupid stupid me!

my question to you all is so far my T and i have had minimal contact, he shook my hand once and helped me off the floor once.
i will most likely never see him again and i think i can get closure if i could hug him goodbye, just a quick one. but i know these are 'boundry' issues. most likely if i ask him he'll say he can't, so should i just do it? what if i do and it messes up his last impression of me?

PLEASE ADVICE!!!
i see him in 3 hours!

b2c.

 

Re: last one...advice B2chica

Posted by Pfinstegg on January 23, 2006, at 11:06:03

In reply to last one...advice, posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 10:38:20

How about saying at the beginning that you'd like to shake his hand and give him a kiss on the cheek. (you know, quick European-style). I did that on my last day with a previous therapist, long ago, and I'm still glad that I did. I felt that i was showing him my love and appreciation far more than I could have with words alone.

 

Re: last one...advice

Posted by LadyBug on January 23, 2006, at 11:18:43

In reply to last one...advice, posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 10:38:20

We have very strick boundaries in therapy too. No touching. BUT..........this is one of the times where a hug is completly appropriate!!!! I think your T. will agree. I'm hoping this goes well for you. I'd be so sad if I were you@!!
Let us know how it goes!!! Take it all in and keep it!
Good luck!
LadyBut

 

Re: last one...advice

Posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 11:19:17

In reply to Re: last one...advice B2chica, posted by Pfinstegg on January 23, 2006, at 11:06:03

i might ask about the handshake thing...but dang it i want a hug. even if its like a quick 'guy hug', you know...quick like.
i'm afraid if i ask him he'll have to say no. where as if i just do it, he can't say no, but what if i offend him. last week he even mentioned how well i kept boundries with him. was he forewarning me? what if he thinks i was a good patient...and then i ruin it by doing this?

b2c.

 

Re: last one...advice B2chica

Posted by Frida on January 23, 2006, at 11:51:31

In reply to Re: last one...advice, posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 11:19:17

You won't ruin anything....
do what you feel..
I would be so sad :-(

I would hug my T, it's a goodbye hug..
I would write it in a piece of paper and give it to him.

Hope it goes well for you
I'm sorry you can't continue T with him :-(

Frida

 

Re: last one...advice B2chica

Posted by Anneke on January 23, 2006, at 12:37:04

In reply to last one...advice, posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 10:38:20

B2,

Think I might be too late, but I just wanted to wish you luck...I'd go for the hug, but my therapist is a hugger anyway, so I'm not the best person to offer advice. But, I say follow your gut!

Anneke

 

Re: last one...advice

Posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 12:49:48

In reply to Re: last one...advice B2chica, posted by Anneke on January 23, 2006, at 12:37:04

your not too late anneke, i think i'm gonna try for the hug. it's not like i want one every session or something...it's the end, you know?
i see him in one hour, i'll leave work in 1/2 hour...getting scared.
thanks

 

I hope you get a hug!! (nm) B2chica

Posted by jammerlich on January 23, 2006, at 13:03:17

In reply to Re: last one...advice, posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 12:49:48

 

I proly too late-hug him!!! (nm) B2chica

Posted by muffled on January 23, 2006, at 13:30:11

In reply to Re: last one...advice, posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 12:49:48

 

here i go...

Posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 13:31:44

In reply to last one...advice, posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 10:38:20

ok, here i go, i'm gonna try it. i'll report tomorrow.
THANKS all!!!!!
b2c.

 

Re: here i go...

Posted by happyflower on January 23, 2006, at 13:41:55

In reply to here i go..., posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 13:31:44

I know I am too late, but my T doesn't do any touch during appointments unless you are are a little kid , or if it is the last appointment of therapy.
Let us know how it worked out! :)

 

Re: here i go...

Posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 23, 2006, at 15:19:00

In reply to Re: here i go..., posted by happyflower on January 23, 2006, at 13:41:55

I know that I'm too late too, but I thought I'd post in case anyone else has this ?. I had a pdoc that I adored and she was moving. On our last appt, I put my hand out to shake her hand. She said, "Oh, no. On the last appointment we hug!" I thought that was so sweet b/c that's what I really wanted but was afraid to ask.

Also, I have done this from the other chair (as the T) and I would not have minded if I client wanted a hug. In fact, with some, I wanted to hug them goodbye and I was hoping that they would ask! (I didn't want to suggest it b/c I didn't want to be intrusive.

I hope your last session went well. I'm sure that your T has many warm feelings toward you and will miss you too. (I'm just guessing based on how much we all like you here at babble!!)

Best,
EE

 

Re: here i go...

Posted by milly on January 23, 2006, at 16:16:50

In reply to Re: here i go..., posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 23, 2006, at 15:19:00

I wait with baited breath, really hope you got your hug
Milly

 

Re: here i go... B2chica

Posted by fairywings on January 23, 2006, at 16:32:55

In reply to here i go..., posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 13:31:44

i hope it went well and you were able to express your feelings and send him off with a hug b2. i don't think that's unreasonable considering it's your last appt.

fw

 

Re: here i go... Emily Elizabeth

Posted by fairywings on January 23, 2006, at 16:36:42

In reply to Re: here i go..., posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 23, 2006, at 15:19:00


> Also, I have done this from the other chair (as the T) and I would not have minded if I client wanted a hug. In fact, with some, I wanted to hug them goodbye and I was hoping that they would ask! (I didn't want to suggest it b/c I didn't want to be intrusive.

***you have to be such a wonderful T ee. i wonder how many clients have wanted to hug, were afraid to ask, and went away sad. i know it must be hard on either side, but never considered the T's side of it b4. i'm glad your pdoc was so sweet and gave you a nice hug.

fw

 

Re: last one...advice

Posted by rubenstein on January 23, 2006, at 17:31:57

In reply to last one...advice, posted by B2chica on January 23, 2006, at 10:38:20

I hope you find some sort of closure. Best of luck to you, I will be thinking about you :)
Rachel

 

I DID IT!!

Posted by B2chica on January 24, 2006, at 8:55:38

In reply to Re: last one...advice, posted by rubenstein on January 23, 2006, at 17:31:57

THANK YOU ALL SOOO much for this wonderful support.
I DID IT.
at the very end he was standing and i was taking my time putting my stuff together and i looked at him by the door and i asked quickly if i could hug him and just did it, didn't even wait for a response...he hugged me back! really tightly and it was a nice long one! i wispered thank you into his ear. a true 'thank you'. i couldn't have meant it more to anyone else.
it did help give me closure, i really really needed that.
he also gave me a going away gift.
when i had really hard stuff to talk about i had this little toy animal that i held in my hand, he always had it next to the couch for me. he gave that to me with a wonderful saying.

i can't tell you guys how much that means to me but i have a feeling you all know!

i love you guys!

b2c.

 

Hooray for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (nm)

Posted by Anneke on January 24, 2006, at 9:35:01

In reply to I DID IT!!, posted by B2chica on January 24, 2006, at 8:55:38

 

Re: I DID IT!! B2chica

Posted by fairywings on January 24, 2006, at 9:47:34

In reply to I DID IT!!, posted by B2chica on January 24, 2006, at 8:55:38

(((((B2)))) I hope that wonderful hug holds you for a long, long time. I'm glad you had the courage to do what felt so necessary for healing.
fw

 

Re: I DID IT!! B2chica

Posted by annierose on January 24, 2006, at 12:29:57

In reply to I DID IT!!, posted by B2chica on January 24, 2006, at 8:55:38

Congratulations!

I'm so glad your last session went well and you got your hug. Try to hold that memory in your heart and carry it with you. I know it's bittersweet. But at least now you have no regrets about "if only I hugged him".

Very proud of you.

Annie

 

Re: I DID IT!!

Posted by LadyBug on January 24, 2006, at 14:34:08

In reply to Re: I DID IT!! B2chica, posted by annierose on January 24, 2006, at 12:29:57

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!! I'm so glad it turned out the way it did!!! Hang on to it for a long to come!!! I'm glad to hear a good ending for a change instead of one that hurts more than the patient can bear!!
Awesome!
LadyBug

 

Re: I DID IT!! WONDERFUL!!!!!

Posted by madeline on January 24, 2006, at 18:40:05

In reply to I DID IT!!, posted by B2chica on January 24, 2006, at 8:55:38

((((B2chica)))))

 

Re: I DID IT!!

Posted by rubenstein on January 24, 2006, at 20:43:22

In reply to I DID IT!!, posted by B2chica on January 24, 2006, at 8:55:38

That is so brave. I am glad that your last meeting was okay
rachel

 

Re: I DID IT!!

Posted by milly on January 25, 2006, at 6:15:03

In reply to I DID IT!!, posted by B2chica on January 24, 2006, at 8:55:38

Well done, you must feel really great that you did it and it was received the way you wanted it to be received. It give the rest of us hope!
milly

 

Re: I DID IT!!

Posted by happyflower on January 25, 2006, at 19:07:15

In reply to I DID IT!!, posted by B2chica on January 24, 2006, at 8:55:38

awww, you post brings tears to my eyes! What a sweet thing your T did. :) I am so happy you had a nice ending. I hope I have the same kind of ending as you. :)


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