Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 601821

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Can “giving up” be a compulsion?

Posted by pseudoname on January 22, 2006, at 14:22:19

I recently got an effective antidepressant for the first time in 20 years (buprenorphine). As the depression lifted, I got super-stressed about all the piled-up undone stuff of my life and the unlikely odds of making a "truly good" (i.e., idealistically good) life now, even if I'm not really depressed anymore.

My new pdoc said I have OCD symptoms in those idealistic demands on myself. I've always felt I have obsessional thinking, but since I have none of the debilitating steroptypical counting / touching / checking stuff, so I never really figured “compulsive” applied to me.

But my idealizing demands for self-perfection usually lead me to give up trying anything, because I can never meet the standards. Except that it's so different from the classic compulsions, GIVING-UP seems to fit the bill (in my case) for a compulisive response. For example, giving-up follows my obsessional idealistic thinking, and its purpose seems to be to make the stress of that thinking go away. If I don't try anything, I won't be criticised or humiliated for my imperfect attempt!

I'm not sure why I'm raising this question, but maybe I could apply more of the OCD literature to my situation if giving-up is a compulsion...

Any thoughts?

 

Re: Can “giving up” be a compulsion?

Posted by LEgWarmers on January 22, 2006, at 14:43:36

In reply to Can “giving up” be a compulsion?, posted by pseudoname on January 22, 2006, at 14:22:19

>If I don't try anything, I won't be criticised or humiliated for my imperfect attempt!

i have a terrible problem with this, its like an odd form of perfectionism to me. Some people laugh when they hear me call myself one, but most people I would say agree and call me one. In fact Im teased about it. But when it applies to the more important things in life...well, I don't want to know what my real skills are, maybe its easier to say, "I didnt try, so its understnadable that Im a total lazy f*ck up" than to do your best and not do perfect.

I think it is more of a conditioned coping strategy that needs to be broken, I don't think it's a compulsion. I also think that our environment allows us to be like this and we learn to work around it. Then one day you get a wake up call! I totally understnad where you are coming from.

 

conditioned coping strategy » LEgWarmers

Posted by pseudoname on January 22, 2006, at 18:44:40

In reply to Re: Can “giving up” be a compulsion?, posted by LEgWarmers on January 22, 2006, at 14:43:36

> I think it is more of a conditioned coping strategy that needs to be broken

Thanks, LW, I think that's wise. You put it pretty well. I think I'll try to keep that idea in my head tomorrow when I run up against give-upism. The more I've been trying to apply it, the "compulsion" idea doesn't quite seem to work in this case...

> Some people laugh when they hear me call myself one [a perfectionist].

Yeah, it's ironic! I know exactly what you mean. I think this could explain a lot of situations where people are clearly capable and want to do various things but seem unable to bring themselves to perform at all. I can think of so many cases in people I know....

 

Re: Can “giving up” be a compulsion? » pseudoname

Posted by Poet on January 22, 2006, at 18:45:26

In reply to Can “giving up” be a compulsion?, posted by pseudoname on January 22, 2006, at 14:22:19

Hi pseudoname,

I don't fit the classic OCD symptoms either, though I do have to check that a door is locked twice and I have to straighten lamp shades and picture frames. Even in my T's office, so maybe I am classic. Anyway...

I am a compulsive Refuse To Give Up person. I try and try for jobs and beat myself up for failing to get them. I think my T would say it's a compulsion. I'll have to ask her as I never thought of it as one before. Thanks for posting your question.

Poet

 

interesting » Poet

Posted by pseudoname on January 22, 2006, at 18:59:03

In reply to Re: Can “giving up” be a compulsion? » pseudoname, posted by Poet on January 22, 2006, at 18:45:26

> I think my T would say it's a compulsion. I'll have to ask her as I never thought of it as one before.

Yeah, it's an interesting idea.

I wish I had some of your "Refuse To Give Up" compulsion. — But not too much! ;-)

 

Re: Can “giving up” be a compulsion? » pseudoname

Posted by Tabitha on January 23, 2006, at 10:07:39

In reply to Can “giving up” be a compulsion?, posted by pseudoname on January 22, 2006, at 14:22:19

I have some of the same distorted thinking-- I don't try to categorize it much. Pretty much just try to bring those thoughts/beliefs out in the open, and challenge them. My T got me to try to recognize the 'voice' that tells me to just give up. We named her Gertrude. So it motivates me some to think oh, there's Gertrude again, I've got her number and I'm not going to listen to her. And of course the real thing is to start taking action. It's very hard for me to just do a little at a time, and not have it be finished, and not have it be perfect, but that's what really gets things done eventually. Persistent effort over time.

 

Lotsa people give up. Its hard. (nm) » pseudoname

Posted by muffled on January 23, 2006, at 13:42:16

In reply to Can “giving up” be a compulsion?, posted by pseudoname on January 22, 2006, at 14:22:19

 

Re: Can “giving up” be a compulsion? » pseudoname

Posted by fairywings on January 23, 2006, at 16:16:31

In reply to Can “giving up” be a compulsion?, posted by pseudoname on January 22, 2006, at 14:22:19


I give up on the things that I want the most, I don't know why, maybe I'm afraid to try and fail, maybe I'm afraid I won't attain my goals.

It pretty much sucks.
fw


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