Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 571465

Shown: posts 1 to 24 of 24. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger**

Posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 16:20:41

I was blocked, for a week, BAM. Just like that. So unexpected, for the f-word,on the writing board. i didn't know it'd be such a big deal. You hear it every where. I hope i didn't hurt no-one with mt post. I'm a m terribly sorry if so. but not surprized. I just felt so strongly to expess how awful I am. I wanted the bad to ease up. BAM.
It was so sudden, so complete, so awful, so confirming of what I'd just written. Banished. I thot I'd found a place where i could talk to such nice people. Where I could finally relax and not double think everything I say. I relaxed, and let myself be more myself, and got banished.
I later found out I could e-mail Dr.Bob and did. I expressed my feelings, I asked him to take back my post if it was harmful. I don't wanto hurt people. My badness hurts people. He said "I don't know that anyones been hurt, except maybe you!" Why would he put an exclamation mark there???? Was he laughing at me???? He hurt me. He will not hurt me again. I can't be banished if I am not me. If I am always careful. But then this place is no good anymore is it?
So my bad post was so confirmed, its so true. Kinda cool if sad I suppose. I don't care.
So THANK-YOU all you guys. You write so amazing stuff. I hope with time and patience you will all have more and more healing.
Thank-you,Damos.
I'm so sorry.
(((((Babblers)))))
Muffled

 

Re: banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger**

Posted by rainbowbrite on October 24, 2005, at 17:21:11

In reply to banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger**, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 16:20:41

Im so sorry you feel that way. :-(
Those are strong feelings. I dont think Dr. Bob meant any harm by that. I think he may have been trying to make you feel better about not hurting others by emphasizing that you are upset about it. Of course I cant speak for him. Blocks happen all the time, its not fair to yourself to take it personlly. Really. Hopefully he will clarify for you but please dont be so hard on yourself. blocks arent a character judgement even though they may feel like it.

((muffled))

 

Re: banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger** » muffled

Posted by Damos on October 24, 2005, at 17:41:19

In reply to banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger**, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 16:20:41

> I was blocked, for a week, BAM. Just like that. So unexpected, for the f-word,on the writing board. i didn't know it'd be such a big deal. You hear it every where. I hope i didn't hurt no-one with mt post. I'm a m terribly sorry if so. but not surprized. I just felt so strongly to expess how awful I am. I wanted the bad to ease up. BAM.

Yeah I know, you didn't hurt or upset anyone okay. I was really upset when I saw the block, sorry I didn't do a better job of advocating on your behalf.

> It was so sudden, so complete, so awful, so confirming of what I'd just written. Banished. I thot I'd found a place where i could talk to such nice people. Where I could finally relax and not double think everything I say. I relaxed, and let myself be more myself, and got banished.

Muffled I can't imagine how hard it was, I've been really worried about you and am just so glad to see your tag. Please, please, please don't go.

> I later found out I could e-mail Dr.Bob and did. I expressed my feelings, I asked him to take back my post if it was harmful. I don't wanto hurt people. My badness hurts people. He said "I don't know that anyones been hurt, except maybe you!" Why would he put an exclamation mark there???? Was he laughing at me???? He hurt me. He will not hurt me again. I can't be banished if I am not me. If I am always careful. But then this place is no good anymore is it?

Dear one please read what Bob wrote on Admin about it being more about the [] appearing to be an attempt to override the auto-asterisking than the word itself. No-one believes you were trying ot do the wrong thing becasue the * was in the right place anyway. I think it was just bad timing and everybody was feeling on edge including Bob I guess and so maybe he applied the *rules* a little harder than he might have at another time. I don't think Bob was laughing at you, I really don't think he's like that. I think that maybe he was saying that attacking yourself really only ended up hurting you in the end. Sadly though you can't communicate tone of voice and facial expression in text very well. And maybe the head space you were/are in spins in ways it isn't meant (that's what happens to me). I understand the need to lash out at yourself in print I really do. Please don't let this one thing rob us of your company - please. We need and want you here with us cause you have got lots of good stuff to say an dI know you've helped and supported others too.

> So my bad post was so confirmed, its so true. Kinda cool if sad I suppose. I don't care.

Your post was not bad Muffled, you are not bad. It was a technical interpretation of the rules.

> So THANK-YOU all you guys. You write so amazing stuff. I hope with time and patience you will all have more and more healing.

Please don't leave us.

> Thank-you,Damos.
No, thank you Muffled
> I'm so sorry.
You have nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all.
> (((((Babblers)))))
((((((((((Muffled))))))))))
Damos

 

Re: banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger** » muffled

Posted by terrics on October 24, 2005, at 22:28:55

In reply to banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger**, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 16:20:41

Hi Muffled, I don't think Dr. Bob was making fun of you. There are a few rules here,like everywhere. The rules are very straight foward.
It would be a shame if you left. You are a very comforting person. Don't be hard on yourself and please don't think of leaving. I guess you can find the rules. If not ask Dr. Bob how to find them. Don't feel bad about this small incident either. terrics

 

Re: banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger** » muffled

Posted by sleepygirl on October 24, 2005, at 22:30:14

In reply to banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger**, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 16:20:41

hey,
I think the civility rules were a bit harsh in your case, it's just the 'f' word after all. It doesn't make you a bad person of course and I hope you won't take it too personally. I have to edit myself just a bit too, fortunately the automatic editing features usually catch me. Don't go away. I need more foul mouthed f*ckers to write to :-)

 

Re: banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger** » muffled

Posted by sleepygirl on October 24, 2005, at 22:40:31

In reply to banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger**, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 16:20:41

I was just reading your post again, and if I had to guess....I'd say Dr. Bob may have realized how badly you were feeling about the post- maybe he was somehow just saying that, No, you certainly did not hurt anyone with your post, but you ended up getting upset because of it. I don't think he'd be mocking you or anything - just going by 'the book' I think (with the block). Don't go away, just let the automated thing catch the more colorful language. It's been good to me so far.

 

They're right, you know (long)... » muffled

Posted by 10derHeart on October 24, 2005, at 22:46:44

In reply to banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger**, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 16:20:41

((Muffled))

I agree with absolutely everything Damos and rain wrote to you. Remember, too, it's not passing judgement on you as a person, as a poster, at all, the cussing thing, well, it's a house rule here, you know, and it's always gonna be Dr. Bob's house. And if he's of a mind to interpret or enforce a rule very strictly on a given day, so be it. What I'm saying is - that is all about him, NOT you. Muffled, it is SO not personal. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong keystrokes - and that's all...ya' know?

I'm not commenting on whether the block was *technically* correct or not. Why should I? This is the wrong board, time and place anyway. I may have my opinions, but ultimately, Dr. Bob does the best he can, to enforce the rules in the FAQ evenly for all, on all boards, on any given day. Does he perhaps make mistakes? Perhaps. But, who's really to say...because much of this falls in gray areas for him as well. Point still is, all of that does not reflect on YOU. Think...I (or anyone) could have posted something about anything...say, that I loved Babble so much, it's one of the most f__king wonderful things in my life...using the same characters you did, and I ALSO would have been blocked the same way, for the same reason. Would that make me bad or be about me? No, it would only be an "oops," I forgot or got carried away and broke the rules. So, I would have had to be blocked as well. And I say....that's okay. It hurts, it seems awful and would be sad as heck to notbe able to post...but I (and you) can get through it.

Let's reverse it. Would YOU, muffled, feel OK if I came on here after that happened and said, "ah, see, this block proves I'm bad AND I must leave because of it..." No way! Why, I think you'd verbally kick my butt from here to next week! Because you're kind and fair and loving and WANT all your fellow Babblers to fight and feel better and stick together through silly little blocks (sorry DB, hope that's not uncivil) or whatever bad bumps in the road come our way!

Please, please don't leave. I know you're hurt and upset, but you know that, too, shall pass. You've helped opthers by saying that very thing here. You are special and we don't want you to go anywhere. Over the dumb ole F-word, no less! Hah! No way is something this trivial going to mess with someone as awesome as our muffled...I refuse to believe it!

Okay....now I've taken the chance with my passions here....PLEASE understand my strong words are because Damos and Rain are so, so right. And you are a tough one who can relate to tough words...am I right? With a Tender Heart underneath....and I AM an expert on those...;-)

Stay, mufffled. It's not personal, and it's over and Dr. Bob does not feel anything bad toward you at all - I'd bet a lot on that! (((((Muffled)))))

 

I WAS bad

Posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 22:56:09

In reply to Re: banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger** » muffled, posted by sleepygirl on October 24, 2005, at 22:40:31

See thats the thing. I was writing my poem, and in quite a rage, and I pressed the thing where you can look at your post, and there was a pretty flower thing(asterisk) in the middle of my rage poem and it was just so wrong. It wrecked it completely. So I BYPASSED the auto asterisking thing and it looked SO right and complete. So I was bad. I didn't think. I was just all caught up in the feelings and the poem and I screwed up. I screw up alot. If I screw up again then I'm banished even longer. Then what do I do? I got no friends. If I get banished from my cyber friends I am completely friendless. I don't know how to do friends. I won't let anyone come too close. Sorry I was bad. I was bad. I just think the penalty is too much for me. I am better to back away.
Thank you all.
Muffled

 

Re: I WAS bad » muffled

Posted by sleepygirl on October 24, 2005, at 23:05:41

In reply to I WAS bad, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 22:56:09

oh sweetheart.....believe this as I tell you this.... You are absolutely, certainly, and positively NOT bad. It takes a heck of a more than that my dear, and it doesn't sound like ya got it in you. You are NOT bad.

Once when I was in school I went to an art exhibit in the gallery at school and there in flowery, lovely, fancy letters cut out of wood was the phrase "f*ck you" - it's all a matter of perspective, that was a contradiction in terms if you will. A fanciful, delicate, feminine spin on a rather harsh, and sometimes shocking (depending on the audience) phrase. A look at a phrase that sometimes shocks- but why? maybe 'cause it cuts right to it, without the pretense- and yes, sometimes it is "so right".

I digress....I think you are too hard on yourself. I think it was just a matter of procedure. Don't go away!

 

Thanks. » sleepygirl

Posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 23:29:34

In reply to Re: I WAS bad » muffled, posted by sleepygirl on October 24, 2005, at 23:05:41

Sleepygirl your so kind to talk to me so nicely. I like how you write! You make me laugh. I liked the art exibit thing, thats too funny. Thank you.
Muffled.

 

Not all bad » rainbowbrite

Posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 23:34:05

In reply to Re: banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger**, posted by rainbowbrite on October 24, 2005, at 17:21:11

Thank-you Rainbowbrite. Its not so much the character judgement. Its just I'm kindof stupid alot of times, and the punishment is too hard for me cuz of the way I am. Its stupid. i'm trying to change. I'm not all bad. But Iam kindof bad. I appreciate you taking the time to post. It does help me to feel valued some.
Thanks
Muffled.

 

Rules » terrics

Posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 23:38:51

In reply to Re: banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger** » muffled, posted by terrics on October 24, 2005, at 22:28:55

I don't know what Dr. Bob was thinking. My problem is the rules. I am a screwup my whole life. The harshness I can't handle. I think the people here are wonderful and sometimes some posts just blow me away they are so special. I don't want to go, but I think its best.:(
Thanks for your reply.
Muffled.

 

Not bad at all » muffled

Posted by rainbowbrite on October 24, 2005, at 23:42:56

In reply to Not all bad » rainbowbrite, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 23:34:05

I understnad what you are saying but you really arent bad! I got a speeding ticket for going way too fast 2 days and then the next day got a parking ticket *sigh*. That was police intervention, that was bad! Trust me you are not bad, you reacted in an emotional way by taking out the *, nothing stupid or bad about that, If i was upset and wanted to make a point id be doing the same thing. try not to be so hard on yourself.

 

(((Damos))) » Damos

Posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 23:45:01

In reply to Re: banished/sorry/bye/long***trigger** » muffled, posted by Damos on October 24, 2005, at 17:41:19

You are such a sweetie. Don't worry bout advocating, you couldn't have done more, I just did a bad thing. Your heart is big. I used to have a big heart, but the world was too painful. So Everything is hid away. Now I got to find some of it again so I can be a good Mom to my kids.But it hurts so much sometimes. Its so hard. I know I'm not all bad.I will miss your sweetness.
Thanks.
Muffled.

 

Re: Rules » muffled

Posted by rainbowbrite on October 24, 2005, at 23:47:41

In reply to Rules » terrics, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 23:38:51

sounds to me like the block was really hard in part becasue it caught you off guard by it. You made a mistake, to err is human. try to view this differently, now you know what not to do to avoid a block. I have to learn stuff through trial and error, lots of people do. It results in more excitement anyway :-)
Take care and I hope you decide to stay.

 

Afraid. » 10derHeart

Posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 23:56:15

In reply to They're right, you know (long)... » muffled, posted by 10derHeart on October 24, 2005, at 22:46:44

10der, thanks for the long reply. People talking to me! Still kinda freaky all right! Pleasantly so. I'm sure Dr. Bob does what he can, it must take him time to do this stuff all right. Its his house , his rules. I'm just so afraid now that if I screw up it will be then 2 wks. I don't want to get more attached here, cuz I don't know if I can handle being cut off like that. Its just me. Not Dr. Bob. I'm just scared is all. It hurt too much. I am tough. I am a survivor. I have made it this far. But I dunno if I can be here at babble. I SO wish I could. I'm just not sure.
Muffled.

 

Re: (((Muffled))) » muffled

Posted by Damos on October 25, 2005, at 0:56:48

In reply to (((Damos))) » Damos, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 23:45:01

Okay, so you made a mistake and you've admitted it. Sorry to tell but that only serves to raise my opinion of you Muffled. Oh and by alll indications you've still got a big beautiful heart beating away in there.

We all screw up, some of us over and over and over again. But none of that makes you bad.

If you're worried about a particular post then I'm sure some of your friends here would be happy to look it over for you.

Please stay.
Damos

 

The effects of getting blocked » muffled

Posted by ClearSkies on October 25, 2005, at 6:42:06

In reply to Afraid. » 10derHeart, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 23:56:15

Muffled, I was devastated by my block, even though I knew what I was doing when it happened. (I've owned up to this before.) It did create a distance between myself and babble that did not exist before. Every PBC I get makes me cringe. Am I unwittingly working myself up into another block? I know the FAQs - heck, I even printed them out when I was trying to become a deputy (bad idea!). I even bought a BOOK on civility... you see how much this place means to me?

What am I trying to say? That I'm trying now to get some balance in my life. I try to walk away from the computer when it upsets me. I interpret my intense emotions regarding babble as a sign that I'm seeing situations in a skewed, out of proportional way that is unhealthy for me. I have nobody else to turn to but my friends here, so I'm trying harder to keep my perspective and not jeopardize these internet based relationships. I have no friends IRL besides the babble people I have met face to face - really! I place a huge value on these friendships.

You are not a bad person. You have so many people here who value your presence and writing here. What do you think the effect of your absence feels like to them?

Take a breath. Take a breather, even. Write this stuff down.
But please stay.

ClearSkies

 

YOU weren't bad » muffled

Posted by gardenergirl on October 25, 2005, at 8:16:12

In reply to I WAS bad, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 22:56:09

> So I BYPASSED the auto asterisking thing and it looked SO right and complete. So I was bad. I didn't think.

You know, YOU weren't bad. You just did something that was judged as inappropriate for this forum. Perhaps you did do it intentionally. We all do things we regret later or that have negative consequences. That doesn't make US bad. Just the actions.

We are not bad just because we make bad decisions from time to time.

(((muffled)))


gg

 

Re: I WAS bad » muffled

Posted by Tamar on October 25, 2005, at 16:26:57

In reply to I WAS bad, posted by muffled on October 24, 2005, at 22:56:09

I know what you mean about it not looking right with the asterisk. And I don’t mind the asterisks in general posts but in a poem I agree that it looks all wrong. It stops the poem from speaking. I mean, if you wanted to write a poem with asterisks that would be fine, but you wanted to use the f-word in all its power and so I can understand why you bypassed the auto-asterisking.

I would have done the same if I’d felt strongly that I wanted to choose my own language without censorship. I like strong words and I use them frequently at home (preferably after the kids go to bed, though a few sometimes slip out…).

So I don’t think you’re bad.

I suppose it’s just a question of context. If you published your poem in a book, you could use the f-word and even stronger language if you wanted to. And people could choose for themselves whether to buy your poetry books. But maybe it's a bit different on a discussion forum because of the interaction between people. I'm just guessing, really - I don't know the reasons why we can't use any language we like. Perhaps there are people here at Babble who don't like strong language and so it's censored.

Choosing to bypass the automatic censoring doesn’t make you a bad person, but it does have consequences, and I was very sorry to see you blocked. And I can imagine that being blocked felt like a punishment that was too severe for your ‘crime’… I suppose that’s the thing about rules. They don’t necessarily feel fair. But it’s the same rule for everyone and that should make it a bit more fair in practice.

I can also understand why you might feel hurt and want to back away. You might be frightened of being hurt again. But I really hope you stay because I like you.

Tamar

 

Re: (((Muffled))) » Damos

Posted by muffled on October 29, 2005, at 15:24:11

In reply to Re: (((Muffled))) » muffled, posted by Damos on October 25, 2005, at 0:56:48

> Okay, so you made a mistake and you've admitted it. Sorry to tell but that only serves to raise my opinion of you Muffled. Oh and by alll indications you've still got a big beautiful heart beating away in there.

Its there all right, and freaking painful it is.
>
> We all screw up, some of us over and over and over again. But none of that makes you bad.

Not 100% sure of that. Done some bad stuff. I guess if Jesus has forgiven me, I should too.
>
> If you're worried about a particular post then I'm sure some of your friends here would be happy to look it over for you.
>
> Please stay.
> Damos


Thanks Damos. Hope you're doing OK.
Muffled

 

Re: The effects of getting blocked » ClearSkies

Posted by muffled on October 29, 2005, at 15:33:48

In reply to The effects of getting blocked » muffled, posted by ClearSkies on October 25, 2005, at 6:42:06

> Muffled, I was devastated by my block, even though I knew what I was doing when it happened. (I've owned up to this before.) It did create a distance between myself and babble that did not exist before. Every PBC I get makes me cringe. Am I unwittingly working myself up into another block? I know the FAQs - heck, I even printed them out when I was trying to become a deputy (bad idea!). I even bought a BOOK on civility... you see how much this place means to me?

Devastated. Thats not good. Seems if I get burned i goto be awful careful. I'm sorry you have to cringe here. It doesn't sound so safe.
>
> What am I trying to say? That I'm trying now to get some balance in my life. I try to walk away from the computer when it upsets me. I interpret my intense emotions regarding babble as a sign that I'm seeing situations in a skewed, out of proportional way that is unhealthy for me. I have nobody else to turn to but my friends here, so I'm trying harder to keep my perspective and not jeopardize these internet based relationships. I have no friends IRL besides the babble people I have met face to face - really! I place a huge value on these friendships.

I need to find people to learn to reach out and stuff IRL. To practice. I dunno...
>
> You are not a bad person. You have so many people here who value your presence and writing here. What do you think the effect of your absence feels like to them?

Proly they don't care. Noone REALLY does in this life. I don't want them to care. Caring is very problematic.
>
> Take a breath. Take a breather, even. Write this stuff down.
> But please stay.
>
> ClearSkies

I am so honored by your words. I am so perpetually confused. I think I get things figgered out. Then i get confused again.
Sorry. Thanks.
Muffled

 

Re: YOU weren't bad

Posted by muffled on October 29, 2005, at 15:37:20

In reply to YOU weren't bad » muffled, posted by gardenergirl on October 25, 2005, at 8:16:12

> > So I BYPASSED the auto asterisking thing and it looked SO right and complete. So I was bad. I didn't think.
>
> You know, YOU weren't bad. You just did something that was judged as inappropriate for this forum. Perhaps you did do it intentionally. We all do things we regret later or that have negative consequences. That doesn't make US bad. Just the actions.
>
> We are not bad just because we make bad decisions from time to time.
>
> (((muffled)))
>
>
> gg
Thanks GG. Life is awful confusing. I am feeling quite confused.
Thanks for your reply. Its so nice to see the replys. Mebbe it means something. I dunno.
Muffled

 

Re: I WAS bad » Tamar

Posted by muffled on October 29, 2005, at 15:44:50

In reply to Re: I WAS bad » muffled, posted by Tamar on October 25, 2005, at 16:26:57

> I know what you mean about it not looking right with the asterisk. And I don’t mind the asterisks in general posts but in a poem I agree that it looks all wrong. It stops the poem from speaking. I mean, if you wanted to write a poem with asterisks that would be fine, but you wanted to use the f-word in all its power and so I can understand why you bypassed the auto-asterisking.

YES!!!!
>
> I would have done the same if I’d felt strongly that I wanted to choose my own language without censorship. I like strong words and I use them frequently at home (preferably after the kids go to bed, though a few sometimes slip out…).

Me too.
>
> So I don’t think you’re bad.

Thanks.
>
> I suppose it’s just a question of context. If you published your poem in a book, you could use the f-word and even stronger language if you wanted to. And people could choose for themselves whether to buy your poetry books. But maybe it's a bit different on a discussion forum because of the interaction between people. I'm just guessing, really - I don't know the reasons why we can't use any language we like. Perhaps there are people here at Babble who don't like strong language and so it's censored.

Censor is good....up to a point. Mebbe writing board could be a little looser as it is a more creative forum?
>
> Choosing to bypass the automatic censoring doesn’t make you a bad person, but it does have consequences, and I was very sorry to see you blocked. And I can imagine that being blocked felt like a punishment that was too severe for your ‘crime’… I suppose that’s the thing about rules. They don’t necessarily feel fair. But it’s the same rule for everyone and that should make it a bit more fair in practice.

I guess its a judgement call.
>
> I can also understand why you might feel hurt and want to back away. You might be frightened of being hurt again. But I really hope you stay because I like you.
>
> Tamar
>
>
Thats a nice thing to say. I do look in now and again. I do hope everyone will be ok. Life is just so confusing, people confuse me, my T. confuses me. Sometimes, alot of times, I dunno....I just dunno...........??????????????????????
Muffled.


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