Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 569870

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Good session

Posted by fairywings on October 21, 2005, at 14:23:42

Saw my T and gave him the note I'd written telling him I thought he was defending my father. He said that he didn't mean to come across as defending my father. He thinks my father's behavior was sick and no one is responsible for his behavior but him, and that it certainly wasn't me. Then he said he was trying to help me look at things differently and not continue to have the behaviors that weren't doing me any good. He said that he's okay with where I am with everything, and that he wants me to be okay with it, but that he doesn't want me to have to continue to live with all the anger if I can get past it. We talked about all of that, and why I misinterpreted what he said. He was really kind as usual.

I'm good with what he said, he's been so nice I don't know why I got so upset, I should've known there was a logical explanation.
fw

 

Re: Good session

Posted by happyflower on October 21, 2005, at 16:04:17

In reply to Good session, posted by fairywings on October 21, 2005, at 14:23:42

I am so relieved things went well! Wheww! I am glad you feel good about the session and your T. I think it was very good for you to be so open and honest with him. (((((((jazzy))))))

 

Re: Good session Ľ fairywings

Posted by Tamar on October 21, 2005, at 16:07:36

In reply to Good session, posted by fairywings on October 21, 2005, at 14:23:42

Iím so glad it went well, and that heís OK with where you are. And Iím really glad he said you werenít responsible for your fatherís behaviour.

And Iím especially glad he was kind.

Tamar


 

Re: Good session

Posted by 10derHeart on October 21, 2005, at 17:11:25

In reply to Re: Good session Ľ fairywings, posted by Tamar on October 21, 2005, at 16:07:36

>>And Iím especially glad he was kind

I agree with Tamar. Kindness is everything sometimes...okay, most of the time (for me). It can overcome and ease up a lot of other, confusing stuff that might be going on at the same time.

I haven't been posting much (long story) but I read a lot, and ALWAYS follow your stuff, FW. I was so worried you'd feel the need to start over -again, with finding another T., or worse, you might stuff all your pain away again, and I didn't want that stress for you.

I think it's so great you had the courage to follow through and give him the note and talk openly about what he said. That can be incredibly scary - but does get easier with practive. I usually can bring myself to do this in my therapy, and I'd say 99% of the time it's been the right thing. You know, leading to a release of the worry and stress about the T. himself - what he *really* means and so forth. This was a biggie, considering the subject matter of your father's behavior, etc.

These sound a lot like T./client growing pains, and and though they hurt and are worrisome, they are ultimately necessary and OK. That's my theory. You are doing hard stuff, FW - good for you!

 

Re: Good session

Posted by fairywings on October 22, 2005, at 9:17:08

In reply to Re: Good session Ľ fairywings, posted by Tamar on October 21, 2005, at 16:07:36

thanks happy and tamar, i feel so much better after talking to him and hearing he wasn't pushing me away.
fw

 

Re: Other questions, are they too nice? Ľ 10derHeart

Posted by fairywings on October 22, 2005, at 9:29:15

In reply to Re: Good session, posted by 10derHeart on October 21, 2005, at 17:11:25

> >>And Iím especially glad he was kind
>
> I agree with Tamar. Kindness is everything sometimes...okay, most of the time (for me). It can overcome and ease up a lot of other, confusing stuff that might be going on at the same time.
>
Hi 10der,

Where've you been?! I hope you're okay. I won't pry if it's personal, but thanks for following my stuff, I appreciate that, you're so kind.

You're right, I didn't want to start over again either, and I'm not sure I would have, esp. considering my p-doc thinks this T is so good, I would consider myself a failure if it didn't work out again, and didn't work out with him. Thanks for thinking about me 10der.

I'm glad you've gotten to the place where you can talk openly about what's bothering you in the relationship. That must feel good not to be so afraid to bring things up, and to feel safe doing it. I was afraid of his reaction to the note, and his reaction to me feeling the way I did. I mean what if I was right, if he was defending my father, or pushing me away? I'd be horrified.

I have a question though, do you ever feel like your T is being too nice? Like you don't deserve someone to be so nice to you? My husband is really nice to me, but I feel that my T shouldn't, and want to tell him he shouldn't be so nice to me, but I don't know why I feel that way, so how could I ever explain saying it? It seems pretty odd to me.

Then also, sometimes I feel like I just want him to be mean to me, or maybe that's not it, maybe I think he should be mean to me. I've never felt that way before about anyone, T or otherwise. It's a weird feeling/thought, and I have no idea why I think/feel that way. What in the world could that mean?

fw


>
> These sound a lot like T./client growing pains, and and though they hurt and are worrisome, they are ultimately necessary and OK. That's my theory. You are doing hard stuff, FW - good for you!

 

Re: Good session Ľ fairywings

Posted by Damos on October 23, 2005, at 17:25:59

In reply to Good session, posted by fairywings on October 21, 2005, at 14:23:42

Glad it went well and that he was okay with what you had to say about the last session. Even happier that he's okay with where you are - that must be a relief.

(((((Fairywings)))))

 

Re: Good session

Posted by fairywings on October 23, 2005, at 18:34:57

In reply to Re: Good session Ľ fairywings, posted by Damos on October 23, 2005, at 17:25:59

> Glad it went well and that he was okay with what you had to say about the last session. Even happier that he's okay with where you are - that must be a relief.
>
Thanks damos, it was a relief, he's been very nice and i'm glad i started working with him.
fw


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