Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 558014

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 25. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Psychiatrist, a grudge holder

Posted by leslieamy8 on September 22, 2005, at 0:29:14

I have a problem. Last week I went in to have an ECT and while waiting for my proceedure(they were already 30 minutes late getting me in)I was told that the anesthesiologist had an emergency and that I would probably get in within the the next hour. Now my ride to the hospital had to go to work and could not wait any longer for me to get done so we left and needless to say I was in a huff. My psychiatrist was told I left and was upset. I received a call from her on my answering machine( I could tell she was pissed by her tone and the content of the message). When I saw her today for my rescheduled ECT,she was a total B****! She is known to be opinionated and intimidating but also one of the best at this facility. How do I call her on the way she has been treating me????

 

Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder leslieamy8

Posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 22, 2005, at 0:41:05

In reply to Psychiatrist, a grudge holder, posted by leslieamy8 on September 22, 2005, at 0:29:14

Ugh. That's a tough one. I just had one thought and it might not be very helpful. I know that in my area there is essential only one pdoc who does ECT's. So, if you want to have ECT, you need to work with that one guy. Is that the case with where you live? If so, you might have to be careful abt what you say to pdoc. I think that is so awful that one should have to think abt things like that, but it is the reality of the situation. AND if she holds grudges now, she might get really insulted if you try to call her on something (no matter how polite you are abt it.)

If you see a T, this would be a great topic to bring up with him/her. Also, T might know something about how your specific pdoc reacts to things and if you need to be extra careful or not.

Best,
EE

 

Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder leslieamy8

Posted by JenStar on September 22, 2005, at 1:48:37

In reply to Psychiatrist, a grudge holder, posted by leslieamy8 on September 22, 2005, at 0:29:14

hi leslieamy,
I'm sorry you had to miss the procedure, and that your psychiatrist wasn't nice about it!

I've found that most hospitals are ALWAYS way behind schedule, unfortunately. Here is my best advice: Next time could you schedule your ride to drop you off and pick you up with LOTS of extra time, maybe, just in case this happens again? Even if you have to sit there an extra 2 hours or so waiting to get picked up...at least you'd get the procedure done. If you bring a good book, you could get in some reading! :) Or maybe a cab or something?

I wonder if your psy. was disappointed because you weren't able to wait for the procedure? Maybe she knows how hard it is to get appointments, or was very eager for you to get this done. Most people DO wait (even if it's a huge inconvenience to them). Will it be very hard to reschedule? Maybe she just had different expectations about how long it was appropriate to wait on this...??? Do you think she suspects that even though you had a valid excuse for missing it, that maybe part of you really didn't want to get it done?

Anyway, I'm sorry it didn't work out, and I hope you can get it out of the way soon!

take care,
JenStar

 

Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder leslieamy8

Posted by fairywings on September 23, 2005, at 13:53:16

In reply to Psychiatrist, a grudge holder, posted by leslieamy8 on September 22, 2005, at 0:29:14

Very scary that a psychiatrist who will be admin. ect on you can be such an angry,grudge-holding person, also inconsiderate that you have to wait around for treatments. Sure emergencies happen, but when they do, you shouldn't be expected to wait, when you have a life and work to get to. Would your doc wait for you if you had an emerg? probably not. I DON'T wait for doctors, except my p-doc and my T, and they are never that late, and I really like them, would never give them up. Could you ask her that? put it in perspective for her? you have work to get to.

If it were me, i'd be looking for another p-doc.
fw

 

Think Again ... Please

Posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:41:35

In reply to Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder leslieamy8, posted by fairywings on September 23, 2005, at 13:53:16

The anesthesiologist had an emergency?
I guess you were more important. I can understand completely why your psych is a bit upset. I hope she has the courage to tell you why.

 

Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder

Posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:48:14

In reply to Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder leslieamy8, posted by fairywings on September 23, 2005, at 13:53:16

She's probably more upset with herself than she is with you, though. In her mind, your reaction might be showing the quality of the work she's been doing .. on the other hand, however, if she knows of your reaction to the waiting time for your ECT, (Which has been scheduled, by the way, for YOUR benefit, my dear .. it's a privilege, Not a right, although we've made it one, in our fortunate society!), it either must have been a reaction that caused concern among the medical and clerical staff,
Or, it's a breach of confidentiality, and you may wish to be concerned about that, if it's the subject of gossip,
Or, your psych isn't upset with you at all, and maybe you're finally feeling a tinge of regret at your huffy reaction, (which you think is a natural thing, but I can guarantee you that Not All People think that is a natural reaction, it's very selfish and impolite and ungrateful of the rights you do have) and it's your guilt magnifying what you believe your doctor thinks.. which may not be true at all.
Sincerely yours,
Susan, ready for her Block.

 

LeslieAmy

Posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:51:30

In reply to Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder, posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:48:14

BTW, there must be a very serious and compelling reason why you couldn't make the sacrifice of taking a bus or a taxi home, or calling another friend to pick you up, or waiting for a ride from someone going the same way, or, God forbid, actually walking home, and if it's more than three miles and you're in terrible physical or mental condition and couldn't possibly do that, then forgive me. Please.

 

Re: LeslieAmy

Posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:53:57

In reply to LeslieAmy, posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:51:30

You're right, it's inconceivable (although you didn't actually say that, but the tone of your post certainly gives me no reason to think you might have to make any sacrifices in life, once in a while) it's inconceivable that, in today's society, anyone should be made to wait for anything, especially that they should be asked to make a small sacrifice in return for a diagnosis on their own health. Tsk tsk.
You need to see the other side of the fence, honey. Really.

 

Susan, for goodness sake...

Posted by 10derHeart on September 25, 2005, at 17:16:45

In reply to Re: LeslieAmy, posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:53:57

...please be civil.

I know you already signed off "ready for my block"
but....

Well, you know how you were writing :-(
I don't want you blocked and I'm sure many others who enjoy your posts don't either.

Do you want to be blocked?
Why?
There's gotta be a better way, Suze...what's up?
:-(
:-(

 

Sweetie, do you need new batteries? (nm) Susan47

Posted by crazy teresa on September 25, 2005, at 19:38:41

In reply to Re: LeslieAmy, posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:53:57

 

Uh, Susan?

Posted by Racer on September 25, 2005, at 20:55:58

In reply to LeslieAmy, posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:51:30

After a procedure like ECT, I very much doubt that one could walk home -- even if it was less than 3 miles. What's more, after such a procedure, I don't think it would be safe at all to have someone try to get home alone.

What's more, I don't think it's out of line to be upset if one's appointment is delayed by an hour and a half with no advanced warning. Hard fact of life: patients have lives, too. For that matter, when one of my appointments with my old GP was delayed an hour because of scheduling screw ups, my GP marched me into the practice manager's office and told him in front of me that my visit -- and all tests done that day -- were free because I'd had to wait so very long. She was upset, because that's often nothing more than bad management.

Oh, and while this might be crossing the line, I know how I'd feel if I had posted this and read your posts. I know that you have a different opinion from most of the rest of us on this matter, but maybe you could think a little more about how it would feel for someone else to read your posts? They really don't sound terribly supportive, and maybe support would be a good thing to offer here?

Just my two cents, and cheap at half the price...

 

Re: Uh, Susan? Racer

Posted by JenStar on September 25, 2005, at 21:07:40

In reply to Uh, Susan?, posted by Racer on September 25, 2005, at 20:55:58

Susan, I agree with racer that your posts are not very supportive...but I have to admit that I kind of agree with some of the sentiment behind it.

Hospitals ARE full of really sick people...anesthesiologists DO have higher priorities than elective procedures if an emergency arises. I think it's important to be prepared to wait, and to schedule a more effective ride (cab, etc.) if one is going into the hospital for ANY procedure, be it ECT, EKG, stress test, LP, etc.

On the other hand, there may be more to this story than we know -- maybe the attitude of the pdoc is really awful. Sometimes people can overreact, even if they're in the "right," and make a patient feel like cr*p. I'm sure the pdoc could have handled this in a way that let the patient reschedule without the horrible extra stress that must surely accompany any procedure like that!

ARe you OK right now, Susan? It sounds from your response that you might be struggling, b/c you don't normally respond like this!

I hope you're ok.
JenStar

 

Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder

Posted by leslieamy8 on September 25, 2005, at 23:43:04

In reply to Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder, posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:48:14

Well, there was somewhat of a back story to my post and I would have gladly given it to anyone who asked politely. I understand not everyone is going to agree with every post but I really don't understand the hostile response. I have NEVER been treated like this before by friend or foe. Most adults I encounter on a daily basis know at LEAST how to be civil. Many times a day I tell those close to me about this web site, I will think twice about that now believe me. Good luck with whatever it is you are dealing with Susan.

 

Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder leslieamy8

Posted by JenStar on September 26, 2005, at 0:13:23

In reply to Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder, posted by leslieamy8 on September 25, 2005, at 23:43:04

I'd be interested in your story! Are you doing OK? Did the procedure go ok? Have you approached your pdoc about this yet?

I hope you're feeling well.
JenStar

 

Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder

Posted by leslieamy8 on September 26, 2005, at 13:46:42

In reply to Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder leslieamy8, posted by JenStar on September 26, 2005, at 0:13:23

Well, I tried to post before and it didn't go through so here we go. I was upset about the fact that I waited 45 minutes past my proceedure time before the nurses bothered to tell me there was a problem. When they did come in there was no real time that they could give me for the ECT to take place. What they said was that it could be an hour or so. The friend that was with me had to go to work so we had to go. The problem is that at this hospital they don't schedule their ECTs like they do their other proceedures. It is basically catch-as-catch-can with the anesthesiologists and I don't want to be ANYONES
cigarette break. I had an anesthesiologist come in late and give me the drugs once. The big problem with that was that he didn't do it correctly and it left me UNANLE TO BREATHE for what seemed like an ETERNITY. All the docs. in the room were aware of what happened because I was extremely leery aboout having another done and my pdoc. apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. I go into each ECT very nervous. They take a lot out of me psychologically and most of the time I am feeling extremely depressed and glitches just set me back. I guess the situation was just hard for everyone.
I'm not looking for anyone to pitty me but I am asking anyone answering this post to at LEAST be civil. I can't handle any cynical or snotty "advice".
Thanks all,
~Amy

 

Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder leslieamy8

Posted by JenStar on September 26, 2005, at 15:33:48

In reply to Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder, posted by leslieamy8 on September 26, 2005, at 13:46:42

hi Amy,
well, I'm sorry that the hospital doesn't schedule the ECT's the way they do other things. That sucks! I'm sorry you have to go through that. It sounds like an exhausting procedure, and it's terrible that you have to wait like that. I think I'd be frustrated too, having to wait so long without any idea of when you'll get seen.

Does you T understand why this is stressful for you? I wish the pdoc could figure out a way to schedule it better.

I don't pity you but I really DO sympathize. I had an LP done at the hospital once, and thankfully I didn't have to wait THAT long! I think I would have driven myself crazy with worry and anxiety if I had to wait over an hour!

It sounds like the hospital doesn't really give you respect for this procedure. Sometimes when the nurses and staff are friendly it can go a long way to alleviating anger. But when they're mean and snotty, it makes it worse! For me, anyway. I hate it when nurses and aides are snotty and b***y. I'm sorry. I hope you're feeling ok!

JenStar

 

Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder leslieamy8

Posted by Susan47 on September 26, 2005, at 18:57:48

In reply to Psychiatrist, a grudge holder, posted by leslieamy8 on September 22, 2005, at 0:29:14

It's terrible that you took all my viewpoint so badly, and in fact, I'm not really sorry, and I guess I should be sorry for that, as well. Because sometimes we can't always be polite in what we have to say, and others will always, usually, take what we've said badly, because they need to justify instead of see. But I'm NOT SAYNG that's you, NOT AT ALL, and I believe I put in lots of room for understanding, in what I did say. Unfortunate choice of words, perhaps, but to know me is to understand my communication style isn't meant to judge, only to get an honest reaction.
I believe I got several. Thanks PS, I re-read your original post on this thread, and your explanation sounds radically different in several ways; upon reading your last post only, I wouldn't have had my opinions so forcefully brought to the fore, as I did with your original. Please re-read that one. Everybody. And lambast me again if you wish, but I really stand behind what I said in response to the first post. It's sad to think people think I'm uppity or snotty or whatever, even rude .. d'you know, I think it's a good thought to wonder if we're a society that's too Polite for fear of being politically, morally, emotionally Incorrect.

 

Re: Think Again ... Please Susan47

Posted by Susan47 on September 26, 2005, at 19:10:25

In reply to Think Again ... Please, posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:41:35

I Do think that was very sarcastic. Really. I apologize for that. I could have been a lot nicer.

 

Re: LeslieAmy Susan47

Posted by Susan47 on September 26, 2005, at 19:14:50

In reply to LeslieAmy, posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:51:30

Sarcasm, again. Sorry. Because honestly, that was just plain rude; if I'd known that ECT puts your brain in such a state that you can't take a taxi home, or you can't afford it, btw do you pay for your ECT yourself? Because here in Canada (and now there's probably a bunch of Canadians upset that I'm one, too, but honestly there are worse people than me ...) it's paid for if you're a citizen, and quite honestly, we do have that reaction when we, the staff, are treated badly by someone because of circumstances that are out of our control. It hurts to take a lot of hostility. And you might benefit from knowing that it isn't our fault in any way at all, we're the messengers of a bad system, and if you are really still angry, you would benefit greatly by writing a letter to the hospital administration.

 

Re: LeslieAmy Susan47

Posted by Susan47 on September 26, 2005, at 19:19:11

In reply to Re: LeslieAmy, posted by Susan47 on September 25, 2005, at 12:53:57

I certainly did get carried away, my goodness I'm sorry for the sarcasm. Yes, I have to learn to communicate without sarcasm. Just honestly, no sarcasm. I know, sarcasm hurts, as the constant recipient of it for a lifetime I should know to curb my tongue more appropriately.
Please accept my heartfelt apology. I'm speaking as a person who's never had an ECT, only booked them. And once I work in Medical Imaging I'm sure I'll see your side from a new perspective. Your explanatory post was very helpful.

 

Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder Susan47

Posted by JenStar on September 26, 2005, at 21:20:21

In reply to Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder leslieamy8, posted by Susan47 on September 26, 2005, at 18:57:48

hi Susan,

I think it's possible to raise points and make points and ask questions without insulting people or deliberately trying to hurt their feelings. I agree that some of your points might be valid, but the way you brought them up clearly hurt Amy's feelings, as she mentioned in her post. And the way you brought them up seemed to me to be harsh and very judgemental, with no room for error or understanding.

Are you either trying to quit "the habit" you've mentioned so often, or are you a more frequent user these days? I'm wondering what prompted the abrupt change in your tone!

JenStar

 

Please be civil Susan47,Racer,Leslieamy8 JenStar

Posted by gardenergirl on September 26, 2005, at 22:01:18

In reply to Re: Psychiatrist, a grudge holder Susan47, posted by JenStar on September 26, 2005, at 21:20:21

>it's very selfish and impolite and ungrateful of the rights you do have... Susan47

>Because sometimes we can't always be polite in what we have to say, ...Susan47

Perhaps then it's better not to post something?

>They really don't sound terribly supportive, and maybe support would be a good thing to offer here?...Racer

>And the way you brought them up seemed to me to be harsh and very judgemental, with no room for error or understanding...JenStar

>I can't handle any cynical or snotty "advice".
but I really don't understand the hostile response...Leslieamy8

Sorry, but please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down or that is sarcastic. Remember that two wrongs do not make a right.

If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil

Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil and should be directed to the admin board.

Thanks,

gg acting as deputy for Dr. Bob

 

Can someone help me with this?

Posted by Racer on September 27, 2005, at 12:53:20

In reply to Please be civil Susan47,Racer,Leslieamy8 JenStar, posted by gardenergirl on September 26, 2005, at 22:01:18

Sorry to hijack, but I would sincerely like to know how I could have expressed myself in my post above without being uncivil? I know, I should probably know this sort of thing already, but I've been thinking about this and worrying and not quite being able to work it out, so any help would be appreciated. (And it will help me be more civil to you in future, too! lol)

Here's what I wrote that got my PBC:

"They really don't sound terribly supportive, and maybe support would be a good thing to offer here?"

I know I wasn't at my best when I wrote it, but I thought I was still being civil. Obviously, I thought mistakenly... :^P

OK, so if I had written something more like:

"I don't think I would find your post supportive if it had been written to me?" Or "I think I would feel hurt if I read something like that written to me?" Maybe "They don't sound very supportive to me, and I think she needs support right now?"

Any suggestions? Any tips?

And I'm genuinely sorry for being uncivil. I guess I just need a refresher course...

 

Re: Can someone help me with this?

Posted by leslieamy8 on September 27, 2005, at 16:16:36

In reply to Can someone help me with this?, posted by Racer on September 27, 2005, at 12:53:20

No need to worry, you have been nothing but civil this whole time:). I think this whole thing has gotten a bit out of hand. I was not expecting for it to still be an issue and as a result of it going on it has caused other problems(such as what you are going through right now Racer). I think its kind of been beaten to death. So, to all of you giving advise thank you,and lets just bury this horse:).

 

Re: Can someone help me with this? Racer

Posted by gardenergirl on September 27, 2005, at 19:22:10

In reply to Can someone help me with this?, posted by Racer on September 27, 2005, at 12:53:20

Hi,
I don't know if this will help, but I replied on Admin.
Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050823/msgs/560362.html

gg


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