Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 558669

Shown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Distraction

Posted by Toph on September 23, 2005, at 19:15:07

A year ago I began my diversion to Babble in ernest. I have had many transitory preoccupations in my life, some entertaining, others destructive. I have been obsessed with reading, movies, television. I have squandered countless quarters mastering pinball and video games. I found Freecell.com challenging and social. And unfortunately I am only consistently average (around 1650) at Yahoo Hearts.

Babble was different. For years I was a closet chronically mentally ill person who none of my colleagues or clients suspected had spent months in psychiatric confinement. Only my closest family and a few friends knew. Aside from what little I could glean from my 45-minute sessions with my p-doc every 6 weeks, I managed to keep my sanity with my medication and a comfortable life. And, of course, with one of the aforementioned distractions.

A year ago, I dipped my toe into this curious site and soon succumbed to the undertow. People were nice (most of them, anyway), bright, creative and helpful. I exited the closet and openly shared my nuttiness with like individuals. I struggled with the rules (nothing new to me), but soon felt apart of a community. I even met in person Bob and several friends last summer.

For whatever reason I've moved to the fringe of the group like countless participants have before me here. This detatchment is sad but also a healthy thing for me. I do not regret my intense involvement here, I learned alot about accepting myself, I have grown with the support of people I respect, and I even learned a little about civility despite my resisitance.

But, if I'm honest, Babble has had its negative aspects as well. When I was most intensely active, I was highly distracted, obsessed with some struggle with others or Bob or persistent anticipation of reaction to one of my posts. There are many among us who have spent half a day or all night staring at our computers as if it nurtures us.

Here is my question to you Psych Boarders who in my experience are very introspective and serious, do you think that Babble is too much of a distraction for you? Not just the time - my wife hates how much time I've spent on line and I have fallen dangerously behind at work inpart because of my non-work computer activity. I mean the mental distraction, the thought preoccupation, the obsession with this cyber colony. I feel as though it has interfered with my marriage, it has stiffled much of my passion for my work, it has replaced time I would have spent working on my home or socializing with my real life friends. If I had more of a therapeutic alliance with my therapist I contend that Babble would likely be a distraction there as well, and maybe it is. Anybody else worry about this?

Sorry to ramble. Part of termination, I guess.

 

Re: Distraction » Toph

Posted by fairywings on September 23, 2005, at 20:27:31

In reply to Distraction, posted by Toph on September 23, 2005, at 19:15:07


wow, you get 45 min w/your p-doc? do you have a T too? is your p-doc like a T? Do you like him?

I'm glad you feel you've learned from Babble Toph, but i hear so much regret and sadness in your post. I have also at times felt really bad about the time I've spent obsessing about myself instead of getting out there with my son. the time in my head, wondering what's wrong with me, and the time I've cared, worried, and wondered more about ppl i know only through babble. then i feel guilty about my own family.

I'm glad you broght it up. it's definitely a worthy topic.
fw


 

Re: Distraction

Posted by Deneb on September 23, 2005, at 20:36:04

In reply to Distraction, posted by Toph on September 23, 2005, at 19:15:07

I think I'm preoccupied with Babble as well, but I'm OK with this. I don't really have much of a social life in the real world at all. I think maybe I choose not to. Making friends online is comfortable to me. I find I am able to socialize here. I think I may even be a bit of an extrovert here!

I think maybe having a social life in cyberspace can be a lifestyle choice. I'm OK with not having IRL friends to hang out with.

Deneb

 

Re: Distraction » Toph

Posted by gardenergirl on September 23, 2005, at 23:37:38

In reply to Distraction, posted by Toph on September 23, 2005, at 19:15:07

Hi Toph,
It is a very good topic. My hubby has been jealous of the time I spend on Babble at times. And I've had it interfere with work, too. And I've also felt a strong connection with Babblers, especially when I've needed support, braved asking for it here, and usually received it in spades. That moves me beyond words at times, which is quite an accomplishment.

Your comment about your post being part of termination perhaps makes me wonder if you are getting ready to say goodbye to us. If so, linking that to termination seems very appropriate. I had a similar emotional reaction to your post as I've experienced in terminating with people I've seen in my training. It's bittersweet. Poignant. Hard to know just what to say to acknowledge what's happened between the two (or the many).

I'm glad you brought this up. And I'm glad we met in person and I got to know you a bit better.

((((Toph))))

gg

 

Re: Distraction » Toph

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2005, at 5:43:27

In reply to Distraction, posted by Toph on September 23, 2005, at 19:15:07

Hiya Toph.

I think most people find Babble something of a juggling act. Trying to find some sort of optimal level of involvement. I guess its hard because our needs and RL demands change over time too...

I remember you used to post quite a lot. You and Susan and Adagrace especially. I think that the more you post the more likely you are to get responses. And the more you get responses the more connected you are likely to feel with Babblers. Sounds to me like you are missing that feeling of connectedness. But maybe thats because you are posting less. And given RL demands (wives and such) I guess it is a hard one...

Yeah, I Babble when I *should* be working.
But then I play computer games when I should be working etc etc. I don't play computer games anywhere near as much as I used to before I discovered Babble.

Sometimes I find myself getting really caught up in the boards and am distracted for a couple days. Don't really get anything done...

But then when it comes down to the crunch and I'm really working to deadline I'll have a break from the boards for a couple days...

I do find that sometimes I avoid stuff IRL because I'd prefer to Babble. But for me it is about finding a balance with people who are 'acquaintances' or whatever... People who are pleasant enough but who I don't think I could ever properly relate to... And Babblers. And I feel like I can just be myself on Babble (with all my different moods) and thats okay. And maybe... That will generalise back to my RL relationships too.

I don't know.

I guess that for me
(bearing in mind that I'm not married I don't have any kids and I certainly don't work the equivalent of full time or have terribly many IRL friends) Babble is an absolute godsend. I don't know what I'd do without it. I think I have improved heaps in the last year or so and that a huge part of that has been the people here.

But I guess...
It won't always be like this and I won't always have so much time available.

I always think it is terrific that there are people here who have been posting for years and they just pop in every now and then to have a quick catch up.

Don't become a stranger Toph.
I might not follow or reply to all your posts...
But I certainly do notice your posting name
And I'd certainly miss you if you suddenly disappeared...

Maybe... Its about setting more limits on the time you spend on the site...

And accepting that you might not feel so connected.

I don't know.
The feeling connected bit is a hard one...
For me it can be fairly mood dependent too...

I dunno.
Don't become a stranger

 

Re: Distraction » Toph

Posted by Poet on September 24, 2005, at 13:32:36

In reply to Distraction, posted by Toph on September 23, 2005, at 19:15:07

Hi Toph,

I'm not terribly sure how serious I am, but I'll agree with introspective.

Maybe you need to take a break from babble? Check in less often and see if you are able to concentrate on other things? I guess I don't want to see you disappear entirely. You don't seem to want to do that, either.

I have periods where I have time to post often and times I don't. I feel bad that I'm not able to visit the site, but there are things like work that I have to do. I don't have access to the internet easily at work. I have to sneak on and hope the firewall police aren't watching, so that does cut down on my posting.

I guess what I am trying to say is that if you need to take a break, please do it. I just hope it isn't because you think you aren't welcome here, because you are.

I met you last summer and you didn't seem at all crazy to me. Then again that is the pot calling the kettle a toaster.

Take care.

Poet


If I had more computer access I know I would post more.

 

Re: Distraction » fairywings

Posted by Toph on September 25, 2005, at 7:43:54

In reply to Re: Distraction » Toph, posted by fairywings on September 23, 2005, at 20:27:31

>
> wow, you get 45 min w/your p-doc? do you have a T too? is your p-doc like a T? Do you like him?
>
> I'm glad you feel you've learned from Babble Toph, but i hear so much regret and sadness in your post. I have also at times felt really bad about the time I've spent obsessing about myself instead of getting out there with my son. the time in my head, wondering what's wrong with me, and the time I've cared, worried, and wondered more about ppl I know only through babble. then i feel guilty about my own family.
>
Hi wings, thanks for responding. My shrink is my only therapist. He wishes I would try intensive psychotherapy to see if I couldn't lessen the persistant dysthymia I have. I can barely afford his $165 sessions for my necessary medications. Do I like him? In a Bob sort of way, he's smart, he cares about me (yeah, I think Bob cares about us), but neither are the surrogate father my second, and now retired, shrink was to me.

If Babble is important to you now, go with it. Even my current shrink even supports my Babble use. When it no longer interests you as much as things IRL will, Babble will begin to slip away (it's really not as bad as heroin, after all). Your family probably won't understand unless you try to explain, but that this is a private haven is part of its appeal.

I wish you the best.
Toph

 

Re: Distraction

Posted by Toph on September 25, 2005, at 7:54:50

In reply to Re: Distraction, posted by Deneb on September 23, 2005, at 20:36:04

> ...I find I am able to socialize here. I think I may even be a bit of an extrovert here!
>
I can identify completely, Deneb. I like people judging me by my words and not the space in my front teeth. A lot of people like me IRL but I don't have what it takes to make close friends like television would have you believe other normal people have. Wouldn't it be nice if other people would be as adoring of me as my dog? It's hard to understand why we aren't more popular IRL given how fabulously fascinating we are on Babble. LOL.

I've enjoyed your posts Deneb.
Toph

 

Re: Distraction » gardenergirl

Posted by Toph on September 25, 2005, at 10:38:49

In reply to Re: Distraction » Toph, posted by gardenergirl on September 23, 2005, at 23:37:38

>
> ...My hubby has been jealous of the time I spend on Babble at times. And I've had it interfere with work, too...
>
Our spouses deserve some explanation of why this is so important to us. But we should also pay attention to how this has replaced something lacking in our relationships.

As I've already said, I regret that we didn't have more time to talk in Chicago, gg.

 

Re: Distraction » alexandra_k

Posted by Toph on September 25, 2005, at 10:51:35

In reply to Re: Distraction » Toph, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2005, at 5:43:27


>
> But I guess...
> It won't always be like this and I won't always have so much time available.
>

We all look forward to you sharing your intellect and zeal with others - for money. I think you know that I've had a thing for your mind alex. Some sort of mixture of thoughtfulness, emotionality and strong values. Plus it's cool to tell people that I just pondered the meaning of my existence with my Kiwi philosopher.

I wish I had your ambition.
Toph

 

Re: Distraction » Poet

Posted by Toph on September 25, 2005, at 11:00:43

In reply to Re: Distraction » Toph, posted by Poet on September 24, 2005, at 13:32:36

>
> I met you last summer and you didn't seem at all crazy to me. Then again that is the pot calling the kettle a toaster.
>

There was a whole boatload of appliances on that river, poet. I see Bob as a Popcorn Popper - not all kernels pop here.

I'm glad we met.
Toph

 

Re: Distraction » Toph

Posted by Damos on September 25, 2005, at 18:59:29

In reply to Distraction, posted by Toph on September 23, 2005, at 19:15:07

G'day mate.

Sadly don't have a wife and/or kids to be distracted from by babble, but can understand how that could be real hard.

Do I get distracted from work? Yeah, occassionally, but I also get saved by my babble breaks too. Sometimes it's all I have to keep my head above the waves or to beat the black dog down with.

Does it affect me IRL? Yeah it has and does. Being able to talk to the wonderful people here has helped me talk and relate to people IRL. I've even been lucky enough to meet one babbler IRL and for that experience I will be eternally grateful.

Will I miss you if you go? Absolutely mate. But If that is what you need to do for you and your family, then I shall wish you well and think of you often.

Toph, I'm sorry I didn't get to Chicago and probably won't be able to get to Toronto cause I would really like to have met you IRL.

Just do whatever you need to do for you and I'll keep a coupla veebs on ice in case you drop by.

Best always,
Damos

 

Re: Distraction » Damos

Posted by Toph on September 26, 2005, at 10:10:20

In reply to Re: Distraction » Toph, posted by Damos on September 25, 2005, at 18:59:29

Thanks for the well wishes bud. I will check in from time to time. I envy you your meeting. Interesting soul, that one. You have been consistently positive and supportive here Damos. I hope you will be able to keep that dog at bay. I know of its bite. If I ever get down under it would be nice to pop a few.

Take care,
Toph

 

Re: Distraction » Toph

Posted by terrics on September 30, 2005, at 10:35:39

In reply to Distraction, posted by Toph on September 23, 2005, at 19:15:07

Hi Toph, I have never been addicted to pycho-babble, but I have never been addicted to anything including a very addictive medication. When I do not need it; I do not need it.

I quit psyco-babble for 2 and 1/2 years and came back when I needed support. I also like to give support. Most of the same people are here. I like belonging to a group.

Not all posts are serious. Some are quite funny. Perhaps it might be helpful to you to contribute some light, possibly funny things.

terrics

 

Re: Distraction

Posted by Toph on October 1, 2005, at 15:11:08

In reply to Re: Distraction » Toph, posted by terrics on September 30, 2005, at 10:35:39

> Hi Toph, I have never been addicted to pycho-babble, but I have never been addicted to anything including a very addictive medication. When I do not need it; I do not need it.
>
> I quit psyco-babble for 2 and 1/2 years and came back when I needed support. I also like to give support. Most of the same people are here. I like belonging to a group.
>
That's very interesting to me terrics, that you could stay away for 2 1/2 years and feel apart of PB when you returned. I was gone involuntarily for 6 weeks and really haven'nt reconnected on a personal basis since. I pick and choose my post more discriminately now and, yes, humor has always been a easy way to post for me.

I think I have a generalized addiction to things distracting, i.e. TV, games, and a shot or beer or two to self-medicate. I'm not a drunk though I will drink to access on occasion, but not alone. I have Xanax for occasional stress related insomnia, but find myself breaking them in half so as not to develop any dependency. My real life and family has never tolerated the level of computer time necessary to become overly attached to a cyber community, although I came close last winter. Nice to meet you terrics.

 

^^Re: to terrics ^^ (nm)

Posted by Toph on October 1, 2005, at 15:12:17

In reply to Re: Distraction, posted by Toph on October 1, 2005, at 15:11:08

 

Re: Distraction » Toph

Posted by terrics on October 4, 2005, at 20:21:26

In reply to Re: Distraction, posted by Toph on October 1, 2005, at 15:11:08

Nice to meet you too Toph. terrics


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