Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 540364

Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

therapy today

Posted by Shortelise on August 11, 2005, at 16:32:10

Is it me or is it him?

A little of both, it seems.

He was wonderful today. I am so sick with a cold and bronchitis, and my bowels seem to have decided to join in the sickness too, that I was as defenseless as I couldbe.

Here's what I think happened a couple of months ago. I think he was a little chiller than he intended. Must have been a bad day.
He pointed out to me today that it's deeply imprinted on me that those I trust will turn around and hurt me. True.
So as soon as he started changing, I was sure he was going to start hating me, rejecting me. And everything he did after that I interpreted according to that fear.
His intent is good. I agree with him. It's not easy. He thinks I need to figure things out for myself, but that doesn't mean he won't help. It doesn't mean that he hates me. It doesn't mean that he will reject me. He says he won't do any of those things.

So when I feel he's turning on me, I need to think of other interpretations of it.
Like I need to interprete my dreams (yeah, I took the last one I wrote here with me, complete with interpretation!). I need to think outside of my old box.

I feel sad sad, but I feel better. Why is it that knowing he cares about me, even though he is caring in a different way, makes me so sad? I want to howl. But I feel better. Contradictions...

Thanks all.

ShortE

 

Re: therapy today Shortelise

Posted by Tamar on August 11, 2005, at 16:39:06

In reply to therapy today, posted by Shortelise on August 11, 2005, at 16:32:10

I'm so glad he was wonderful today! And that he said he won't reject you.

It sounds like a difficult discussion, but so much better than the other kinds of difficult discussion you've had with him in recent weeks.

I hope your bronchitis is better soon.

Tamar

 

Re: therapy today Shortelise

Posted by orchid on August 11, 2005, at 16:46:48

In reply to therapy today, posted by Shortelise on August 11, 2005, at 16:32:10

I am glad it went better today.

How many more sessions do you have?

 

Re: therapy today

Posted by madeline on August 11, 2005, at 17:49:34

In reply to therapy today, posted by Shortelise on August 11, 2005, at 16:32:10

I don't know why it makes you sad that he cares about you.

But I feel the same way sometimes.

Clearly there must be something wrong with people if they they care about ME.

I hope you get over your chest cold and that all of your task go well.

(((shortelise)))

 

Re: therapy today Shortelise

Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2005, at 21:56:51

In reply to therapy today, posted by Shortelise on August 11, 2005, at 16:32:10

Maybe it's the "different"? Different is nearly always at best bittersweet to me. I rarely can embrace the new without mourning the loss of the old for a bit.

It's ok to mourn the used to be, even if you appreciate the now.

 

Re: therapy today

Posted by daisym on August 12, 2005, at 0:13:28

In reply to therapy today, posted by Shortelise on August 11, 2005, at 16:32:10

****I feel sad sad, but I feel better. Why is it that knowing he cares about me, even though he is caring in a different way, makes me so sad? I want to howl. But I feel better. Contradictions...****

I'm glad things were better today. It must have been nice to reconnect and get the reassurance that he wouldn't reject or hurt you. I think the caring brings up the grief of loss, which is sad. He cares about you, you care about him, but still, therapy is ending. I want to howl with you. I'm sure you do feel conflicted.

But mostly I'm glad you feel better. I hope you can find a peaceful place with this, even with the sadness. And I hope you get over your cold quickly.

(((ShortE)))

 

Re: therapy today Tamar

Posted by Shortelise on August 12, 2005, at 10:39:20

In reply to Re: therapy today Shortelise, posted by Tamar on August 11, 2005, at 16:39:06

Thanks Tamar.

It was difficult, isn't it always? but as you say, much better.

I am still coughing like a coal miner but I have faith that this to shall pass.

Thanks again. You help.

ShortE

 

Re: therapy today orchid

Posted by Shortelise on August 12, 2005, at 10:40:33

In reply to Re: therapy today Shortelise, posted by orchid on August 11, 2005, at 16:46:48

THanks Orchid (love this name!!).

I have as many session left as I need. I hope to see him less and less over the next year or so.

ShortE

 

Re: therapy today madeline

Posted by Shortelise on August 12, 2005, at 10:43:48

In reply to Re: therapy today, posted by madeline on August 11, 2005, at 17:49:34

Madeline, this sadness is so tangled with anxiety. I just don't get it. And I'm supposed to by now, he expects me to figure it out on my own. So as much as I want to call him and ask for help, I feel I shouldn't, I feel I have to tough it out, see what comes to me.

I no longer feel as much that there is something wrong with anyone who cares about me. I motsly just feel that it won't last, that some betrayal will come to pass, that some hidden colour will come to the fore.

Thanks for the good wishes. I am so anxious I can hardly stand it.

ShortE

 

Re: therapy today Dinah

Posted by Shortelise on August 12, 2005, at 10:47:00

In reply to Re: therapy today Shortelise, posted by Dinah on August 11, 2005, at 21:56:51

Different. Yes, there's that awful feeling in my bones, which is quickly becoming my truth barometer.

I feel like crying, having a long, honking howl but it hasn't come.

Thank you Dinah.

 

Re: therapy today daisym

Posted by Shortelise on August 12, 2005, at 10:52:43

In reply to Re: therapy today, posted by daisym on August 12, 2005, at 0:13:28

Thanks kindly Daisy. I am drinking my morning coffee, the cats are on the porch trying to dislodge a moth from a spiders web. I am feeling so fragile this morning. Why is this?

Argh. I have so much to do, but catering a party like this is one of my favourite things. I don't so it often, it's easy, fun, creative, rewarding ... what in the world is wrong with me??????

Ah, here's one of my cats, looking like something froma haunted house. I wonder if those bitsof spider web will still to her tongue.

Thanks.

It's so helpful to come here. It's so strange.

ShortE


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