Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 539336

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very very sad and tired

Posted by madeline on August 8, 2005, at 20:03:47

I hope someone here can relate.

I am an adult survivor of child abuse (my mom is bipolar and my dad has anger management issues).

I've been in therapy for five years with a good therapist - although we have had some rocky spots. Therapy is a lot of work, and just when I start to feel better, it seems as though I simply discover a new way to feel bad. I guess that is called progress.

Right now my therapist is on vacation. I miss him very badly and I am sad, tired and confused.

Any tips on how to survive the vacation and combat the fatigue?

 

Re: very very sad and tired » madeline

Posted by Dinah on August 8, 2005, at 20:24:42

In reply to very very sad and tired, posted by madeline on August 8, 2005, at 20:03:47

May I invite you to Camp Comfort? There's a thread above.

My therapist has been away for a week and will be away a week more. I was away myself last week, but I'd be happy to join you there this week.

Therapist vacations are just hard on some of us. It at least helps to have some company while we're feeling at sea.

 

Re: very very sad and tired

Posted by Jimmy Go on August 8, 2005, at 20:29:14

In reply to very very sad and tired, posted by madeline on August 8, 2005, at 20:03:47

Hi Madeline, I've traveled some rocky roads too and sometimes I get so down that I can't see tomorrow. When I'm really down I try to find as many distractions as possible. I rent movies, go to the library, visit junque stores and flea markets and talk with anyone who wants to talk. Occasionally I will dig out my metal detector and hunt for relics or coins in old school and church yards or parks where it is allowed. Call a crisis hotline if you are hurting. It has helped me to stay in touch with others on this site. Keep posting and keep reading. I'm hurting too and it helps me to know that there are others who feel my pain. We are not in this alone. Hang in there and know that I care.

 

Re: very very sad and tired

Posted by madeline on August 8, 2005, at 21:22:16

In reply to Re: very very sad and tired, posted by Jimmy Go on August 8, 2005, at 20:29:14

While it is too bad that anyone is in pain, it is nice to know that you are not alone. I am astounded at how lonely and empty I feel sometimes. It is almost I feel that I am the only one that has ever been abused.
Thank you for your words of encouragement and comfort.
They do mean a lot, but I guess you know that.


> Hi Madeline, I've traveled some rocky roads too and sometimes I get so down that I can't see tomorrow. When I'm really down I try to find as many distractions as possible. I rent movies, go to the library, visit junque stores and flea markets and talk with anyone who wants to talk. Occasionally I will dig out my metal detector and hunt for relics or coins in old school and church yards or parks where it is allowed. Call a crisis hotline if you are hurting. It has helped me to stay in touch with others on this site. Keep posting and keep reading. I'm hurting too and it helps me to know that there are others who feel my pain. We are not in this alone. Hang in there and know that I care.

 

Re: very very sad and tired » madeline

Posted by LauraBeane on August 8, 2005, at 22:42:10

In reply to very very sad and tired, posted by madeline on August 8, 2005, at 20:03:47

Hi Madeline,
I am being treated for PTSD and my history is a lot like yours (bipolar mom, abusive dad, other complications).

How long will your T be away? Like they used to say on Seinfeld, Monday is over and by the time you wake up and get going tomorrow Tuesday will be partway done, and then it's just one more day to finish off Wednesday and the week will be almost over. I like to read and I do a lot of reading when my T is out of town, which will happen at the end of August for me. I so hate the last week of August.

Hope it's a fast week (or is it two?) for you.

LB

 

Re: very very sad and tired » madeline

Posted by Shortelise on August 8, 2005, at 23:58:56

In reply to very very sad and tired, posted by madeline on August 8, 2005, at 20:03:47

I know a deep deep sadness, too. It permeates everything. And with it comes a tiredness that doesn't go away with sleep.

I call on friends. I phone up and say, I am having trouble, can we go for a walk?

I like to reread books I really liked. It's about safety - I know I like them, I know what is going to happen, there are no surprises. It feels safe to read them.

I guess we need to allow ourselves our feelings. If you're sad, then isn't it ok to be sad? And shouldn't we try to figure out what it is that is making us so sad? Sometimes I panic,think there is something wrong with me that I'm so sad, and I have to tell myself it's ok, over and over again.

I also try to keep track of what I am dreaming. Sometimes my dreams talk to me when I can't tell what's going on.

All of this you probably already know. If you are lucky, you have friends to trust, or maybe just one, someone you can call and say, hey, I need my friend right now. This is a lifeline for me. SOmeone to take me outside and walk with me.

((madeline))

ShortE

 

Re: very very sad and tired shortelise

Posted by madeline on August 9, 2005, at 19:44:04

In reply to Re: very very sad and tired » madeline, posted by Shortelise on August 8, 2005, at 23:58:56

It really sounds as though you know sadness. I'm sorry for us both. I wonder where this comes from - I know all the theories - but I wonder what it really is.

I think it most likely an attachment problem from childhood. But I don't know.

 

yes - TRIGGER » madeline

Posted by Shortelise on August 9, 2005, at 21:17:27

In reply to Re: very very sad and tired shortelise, posted by madeline on August 9, 2005, at 19:44:04

I think sadness is part of the human condition. We all experience it, and for different reasons, do you think?

"Attachment" problems. Yup, had that. There were other things to be sad about, too. That every autumn started off with new pencils, paper and clothes, and still I was the same, nothing else was new.

Things I could not understand, that flew around in my head like confetti in a wind, and left me baffled and sore. Children do not understand things, and invent explanations.

Later, these things, these explanations turn out to be very wrong. These lessons I so carefully taught myself were false; these perceptions upon which my view of the world was based turn out to be no more than air.

To say that "attachment" problems is the cause of my ... sadness is not true. I have to gather that up with all of the others things, and examine them in toto.

My mother did love me, as did my father, in the only way he knew how (he did not abuse me) a way he learned from his own mother who is insane, really and truly insane.
Struggle, emotional upheaval, criticism -- those things are not love. To provoke anger is not to provoke love. To cry and cry is not to provoke love. To threaten to remove myself is not part of loving. Love is altogether something different. That is what I have to learn. To have the courage to look at the falseness of the things on which my experience and my own imagination had led me to base my behaviour and my feelings.

Madeline, ma pauvre, forgive this outpouring which has nothing to do with who you are and where you are in your "process". It just suddenly struck me that I am cowering from certain truths, big, nasty ones. The sooner I face them, the sooner I'll not be sad as often.

Not that I think I'll ever escape sadness. Sometimes, it's a very safe place for me. Other times, it's where I just naturally am.

((madeline))

ShortE


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