Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 537951

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I am so depressed that haven't been out of bed

Posted by Mandy on August 5, 2005, at 16:45:41

I started a new very stressful job with long commutes and long hours between three clinics. I need to be sole support since my husband had to take early retirement. These last three weeks of orientation have really exhausted me so all I do is stay in bed on my days off. I need to break this vicious cycle. I recent new nurses who were not even born when I became a nurse telling me how to give shots and do vital signs. Orientation is almost over, but how do I pull myself out of this depression? I spend my days off in bed and don't even shower, so obviously I am not having any positive experiences in the last three weeks. There is an end in site and the pay is good. But I resent my husband terribly that I am having to be sole responsibilty after 37 years of marriage--we already raised a child with autism and that was stress in itself. I see a phsychiatrist but so far nothing much has helped. I just feel so alone and helpless.


Crazy T's 4-Step Program Mandy

Posted by crazy teresa on August 5, 2005, at 20:35:33

In reply to I am so depressed that haven't been out of bed, posted by Mandy on August 5, 2005, at 16:45:41

First step: Get your butt out of that bed! I know it's hard, but you CAN do it, even though you don't want to! Set your alarm to go off early so you don't waste any part of the day. Do not hit snooze!!!

Second step: Take a long shower, use your best stuff and smell really good! Don't forget to shave your legs...fix you hair.

Third step: Get dressed with your best underwear (no holes unless they're crotchless!) and clothes that make you feel GOOD.

Step four: Go do something that will make you laugh, even if you have to do it by yourself! None of these things will change your life, but you might feel better for a little while, which might lead to a little while longer once you're done.

I'll list several ideas:

Sneak into someone's yard and move the for sale sign into another yard.

Get in your car and turn up your favorite songs really loud and sing along at the top of your voice. Doesn't matter if anyone sees you--they're just jealous that you're such a fantastic singer.

Get your fingernails painted cherry red or hot pink, or funky blue-- a wild color or 2 or 3 you wouldn't usually consider.

Go to Wal-mart and sneak up behind someone and drop an item into their cart without him noticing. Could be really fun if you drop off several boxes of Preparation H! Follow him around discreetly so you get to see what happens when he finds it...even better if it's not until he's checking out!

Get a new hair cut or color or both.

Buy some new shoes! Too expensive? Buy new lipstick!

Eat dessert at a fancy schmancy place. Leave a huge tip and make them wonder...

Kick everybody else out of the house for the day and read a good smut novel and eat bon-bons.

My ex-T ordered me to do at least one thing a week just for me. It has helped me a great deal to feel less resentlful toward my husband for being gone all the time and from hardly ever getting a break from my kids.

I'l be waiting to hear what you did tomorrow! ;~}


Re: I am so depressed that haven't been out of bed Mandy

Posted by orchid on August 5, 2005, at 20:44:31

In reply to I am so depressed that haven't been out of bed, posted by Mandy on August 5, 2005, at 16:45:41

Some practical tips
1. If your husband can find a job, ask him to do it. That is, if he is not sick.

2. If he is not going to work, ask him to share other responsibilities fully - like house maintenance - so you don't have that in your plate as well.

3. IF there is a way to cut down on the number of hours or commute atleast by 20 %, do it, so that you can stay less stressed.

4. And if none of it works out, and if it is only a temporary solution - try to think of it as "going the extra mile" for the family's sake for sometime, and then ask your husband to atleast appreciate what you are doing for the family, and ask him to promise to find a job soon and relieve you of the stress as soon as possible.

5. Any hard work needs to be rewarded - so reward yourself with a little bit of the money you earn - buy a nice dress or something like that - or eat icecreams !!

6. Make friends with the new nurses. You don't have to be defensive just because they are new. If you don't know, just ask honestly, and they will start treating you with respect. Plus read in the net a little about what the latest thing in nursing says. If you show interest, you will make the job more tolerable for you. Plus, talk to patients, and socialize in work, so you will have a good time at work. That will make the commute bearable.

7. You would never know what God has in stock for you down the line - this might be a blessing in disguise for you. Hope for the best, and bear the brunt for now.

By the way, how long do you have to do this crazy stuff?


Re: I am so depressed that haven't been out of bed

Posted by Emily Elizabeth on August 6, 2005, at 1:10:36

In reply to Re: I am so depressed that haven't been out of bed Mandy, posted by orchid on August 5, 2005, at 20:44:31

I often have problems with wanting to stay in bed too. One thing that has helped (a little) is to let friends know that I am struggling. I tell them that I am having probs w/ depression and it is hard for me to ask for help and so I need them to check in with me now and then. A phone call now and then can go a long way.

Hope you feel better soon,


Re: I am so depressed that haven't been out of bed Mandy

Posted by Poet on August 6, 2005, at 16:07:37

In reply to I am so depressed that haven't been out of bed, posted by Mandy on August 5, 2005, at 16:45:41

Hi Mandy,

You have much more strength than you realize. That you are getting out of bed and going to work and can see a bit of light at the end of the orientation tunnel shows it.

I can understand not wanting to get out of bed. Is your husband helping more with household stuff since he retired? I think that you deserve to have a rest on weekends. You have so much stress in your life.

I hate it when somebody shows me how to do things that I know how to do and sometimes know better ways. When they say, *that was very good* I say *so I've always been told.* Keep in mind that I am very sarcastic, so I have to watch how I say it, then again...

During the long commutes can you listen to books on CD or tape? Best sellers, comedy, self help- something to make the trip go quicker?

Do you see the pdoc for meds or therapy or both?

Keep posting. You don't have to be helpless or alone on babble.


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